I Thought We Were Real
by JodieLove
Summary: James has made a bet, one that won't be easy to win. Especially since it involves the girl he's sworn to get over. Going through the year with the Marauders, we encounter trials of love, romance and friendship. Canon! JPxLE SBxOC RLxOC. Complete! R
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Please Review! It would be greatly appreciated.**

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**-**Here's a short little sneak preview!-

**Prologue**

The sun shone brightly, peeking through the semi-closed curtains in one of the compartments of the Hogwarts Express. The Hogwarts Express was a train that ran from Kings Cross Station in London to Hogwarts Castle, school for the magically gifted. The train was packed with excited people, laughing and talking pleasantly—none more intently than the four boys huddled in this very compartment.

"You really think you're that great Prongs?" a handsome black haired boy asked his friend. The raven-colored hair boy only smirked, while his hypnotizing hazel eyes filled with mirth.

Remus Lupin, the third member of the party, closed his book abruptly and interrupted, "Not every girl in this school will swoon at you feet James." He stood up, sweeping piles of empty candy boxes off his lap, and put his book in his bag stored above him.

James scoffed unbelievingly, "Yeah right."

"I agree with Moony, James. Not every girl adores you…", the black haired boy stated, "Just about ninety-nine percent of them."

"You're not really helping Padfoot," grunted Remus, pushing the book that was reluctant to enter the bag.

"Really Sirius. Name ONE girl who wouldn't go out with me."

A long pause ensued and just as James was about to claim victory, the fourth boy murmured, "Lily Evans wouldn't."

"Who?" Sirius questioned as he couldn't quite hear what Peter had said.

"Lily Evans," Remus clarified with a smile on his face, "the only girl in this school who wouldn't give you the time of day."

The smile on James' face dropped immediately at the mention of that name and that didn't go unnoticed by his three best friends. It was impossible not to be affected though. He had been chasing her for almost 2 years and she was on the verge of hating him. Regaining his dignity, he quickly amended, "Guys, I'm over her. So there's ONE girl in this school that won't go out with me, big deal. You couldn't name anyone else anyways."

Upon silencing his friends, he proclaimed his self victory. "See!"

"Does it matter Prongs? The only thing that really matters is you can't get any girl you want because you can't get her." Sirius said reasonably.

"What are you saying Padfoot? I can get her, I just don't want to anymore. I've had enough of it."

"That's a lie and you know it. I bet you can't get her, I mean…you couldn't in the past—what?—5 years?"

"Two years," James clarified while glaring at the others. " And I bet I can," James claimed, before he even realized what he was saying.  
"Prove it. I'll give you until the day after valentine's, and within these 6 months, you have to make Lily agree to be your girlfriend," challenged Sirius.

"On her own will," added Remus quickly, seeing James' smirk.

_Oh I'm in for it, _thought James. He couldn't admit defeat though, so instead he accepted the challenge, "How much do I get?"

"10 Galleons."

"Make it twenty," urged James, rubbing his hands together.

"You're digging your own grave buddy. 20 it is."

"Oh, it's on."

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"Lily!" somebody from within the crowd cried..

"Jodie!" squealed the red haired, green eyed girl, "I missed you so much."

"I'll bet. I missed you too. How was the horse-faced girl you call sister?" joked Jodie with a tint of seriousness in her voice.

Lily responded in exasperation, "She's not that bad Jodie. She got engaged this summer so she was too happy to bother me. He's a great man for her, I'm honestly really happy for her. He's…he's...he's great." Catching her friend's unbelieving look, she added, "Really! It doesn't matter anyways, how was your summer in Paris? I am so jealous."

_If all she could say about this 'perfect' guy was that he was great, he probably was even worse than Snivellus. At least she calls him smart sometimes, _thought Jodie sadly"Stop trying to change the topic Lils. Petty-poo would never leave you alone."

Lily shook her head. "What does it matter? I'm back now," she smiled. "And after this year, she'll be moving out anyways."

"Doesn't it bother you?"

Lily sighed.

"You _know _it bothers me. But, you just got to live with the inevitable sometimes."

"Petunia is definitely the inevitable," commented Jodie, pulling a disgusted face.

Lily laughed. "It's really more like this," she replied, pulling her own version of her sister. "Tell me about your trip."

"Let's go find Alice and Beth first. I really don't want to repeat the same story twice."

"Like you'd get tired of it. You'd be describing Paaaarrriiisssss Jo. Pariisss!" her friend scoffed while following her. "I have to go to the head's compartment first though, so you better save that story 'till I come back!"

"See you Head girl!"

"Shut up!" laughed Lily. "I'll see you around."

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"That's it. Dumbledore has officially gone mad," Lily exclaimed with a sigh while she plopped down on the only empty seat left, conveniently beside her handsome but incredibly annoying, cocky and egotistical enemy named James Potter.  
James' only reply was to give her a cheeky grin – one that would make any girl's heart flutter. Lily's heart was no different. She silently cursed her heart for betraying her, but thanked that James didn't seem to sense his effect on her. _I'd never live it down, _Lily thought, _and plus, it doesn't mean I like him…I'm not that shall- _

Her partner's voice cut her thoughts off, "Good to see you too Lilyflower."

"Lily!" she responded automatically in a tired voice, "I hate Lilyflower Potter, and you know it."

"Oh I know," he paused, then continued teasingly, "Lilyflower."

Lily sighed yet again, not bothering to retort; _this is clearly going to be a long year. _With that thought in mind, Lily waited for the prefects of each house to arrive. The tension in the room was unbelievable and both parties were thankful when the first prefect from Ravenclaw entered. Once all 8 members crammed into the compartments, the meeting began and surprisingly, _James hadn't acted like a total prat, _admitted a reluctant Lily.

_Would it be too much to ask for him to stay this way throughout the year? _she begged silently.

Lily squirmed in her seat as she felt the meeting come to a close. It was stuffy in the small room, and she was sitting way to close to James for her liking.

At that thought, she shifted ever so slightly the other way.

Upon feeling movement from his right, James turned to find Lily discreetly distance herself from him.

He put on an amused smile.

Lily, unfortunately, caught the smile and fought the urge to wipe it right off his arrogant face. No need to cause a seen in front of all the prefects.

Instead, she smiled a sickly sweet smile back.

_Oh yes, _she thought miserably, _this is going to be a _long_ year._


	2. Some Just Never Change

Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling

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At about lunchtime, the prefect's meeting was finally concluded. Being the Head Boy and Girl, James and Lily were still in the compartment packing up. In reality, Lily was the one packing while James watched from his spot against the doorframe. He stared at the lovely girl in front him, dressed in dark straight jeans and a soft green cashmere sweater, while she bit her bottom lip in concentration. He noticed that summer had done her good giving her a nice even tan and a more mature looking body. Her red hair was longer and pulled up casually into a ponytail, high above the nape of her neck; a hairstyle James liked very much. Loose tendrils of her fiery red hair framed her face and he resisted the urge to reach out and tuck them behind her ear. The noon sun was strong and illuminated Lily's delicate features. Her emerald green eyes, enhanced by the frame of long brown lashes, briefly flickered towards him, tainted with concern with a hint of annoyance.

"Potter!" Lily's voice brought him back from his reverie.

As a rosy tint swept over his face, he regained composure and responded, "LilyFlower!" with a cheeky grin. His partner only rolled her eyes in reply.

Seeing as Lily was almost done, James walked over to the window to close the curtains. His hands grasped the curtain fabric yet he couldn't help but pause to admire the scenery outside. The vivid blue sky with few soft white clouds merged with the seemingly endless hills of lush green grass highlighted by splashes of colourful flowers. He couldn't help but think about how this would most likely be one of the last times he could see such a landscape.

Turning around, he smiled at the girl he supposedly 'got over' and tilted his head towards the window. Warily, she walked over beside him and he couldn't help but comment, "I'm not going to bite you know, contrary to what you may believe."

At the sight of her forming scowl, he added while running a hand through his hair, "Just come and look at this. I promise I won't grab you, or kiss you, or.."

He was cut off by her gasp which was a result of the scene lying outside the train walls. In a soft sad voice, she voiced her thoughts that echoed his own. "This is beautiful. Imagine after this year, we won't be here anymore. There will be no Hogwarts Express, no Albus Dumbledore…no Hogwarts for the matter."

"We won't have our safe haven anymore after this year, we'll be in the real world," James added as an afterthought.

Lily shuddered and he knew it had nothing to do with her being cold. _Voldemort._

Shaking out the somber thoughts, he pulled the curtains together in one quick motion and grabbed Lily's hand. Ignoring the spark ignited by the contact and the protest coming from his victim, he pulled Lily through the compartment door and headed back to where their friends were.

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"Potter! Let go of me this instant!" she screamed while being dragged through the hallway. All the previous thoughts were forgotten.

"Evans! Stop complaining this instant!" James retorted mockingly.

They finally stopped in front of the closed compartment at the end of the hall and Lily struggled to regain even breathing. James, being an avid quidditch player, had barely a flush on his face.

Once she was able to yell, she did. "Potter you are such a git! Dragging me all the way like that – by the hand too! What will people think –"

"That we're incredibly cute together?" James interrupted with a grin that could melt any girls' heart.  
"Did you NOT notice everyone staring? You really are a pig-head Potter!" Lily finished ignoring his remark. James just shrugged as the door slid open, he was used to girls staring; he didn't mind most of the time.

"What happened this time?" asked Elizabeth in an exasperated voice. She was Lily and Jodie's other best friend. Elizabeth was the type of girl who could attract any boy she wanted, with her stunningly long legs and captivating violet eyes. Her mother was Asian where as her father was Caucasian although it was hard to tell at times.

The three girls were as different as night and day in personality but were the best of friends. Lily was quiet and studious but had a temper that could outmatch anyone from the school when unleashed. Usually it was reserved for a certain Head Boy. Elizabeth was playful and fun but never liked the attention she got from all the boys. Jodie was the flirtatious and outgoing one in the group. She liked to be in the centre of attention but that didn't mean she pushed other out of the way to get it. All three of them were in Gryffindor together.

The four 'Marauders', as they called themselves, were famous for their clever, but sometimes mean, pranks. The four of them never failed to be in detention for one thing or another. Over time, they grew closer than ever could be. James Potter and Sirius Black were often thought of as the leaders of the group. In any case, both were the most popular by far. James was a skinny, tall, yet muscular boy with messy, raven-coloured hair and eyes that you could get lost in. Sirius was tall as well, with dark hair that ended a little over his unusual gray eyes that seemed to enhance his rebellious aura. These two boys were handsome and charming, a lethal combination put together.

Remus Lupin was the brain behind the group. Teachers loved him because he was one of the quiet, high-achieving students, but teachers also disliked him at the same time. They all knew he was the mastermind behind the Marauders' pranks. He had light brown hair and dark mischievous eyes; those perhaps being the only way to see the shrewd side of him. Peter Pettigrew was the last member of the four. He was probably the most unexpected as he was quiet and cowardly, nothing like his best friends. Even so, they were loyal to each other and never let another down.

"He," Lily stated while pointing a finger menacingly at James, "dragged me running all the way here from the front of the train and everyone was looking!"

"Yes and they all thought we looked cute together."

"Says you! We do NOT look cute together because we won't ever BE together!" retorted Lily furiously. Behind her, the other three Marauders' grins widened. That didn't go unnoticed by James as he scowled at the three boys.

Before he could come up with a good response though, the food trolley came with lunch. For everyone but Lily, the argument was instantly forgotten and replaced with the thoughts of satisfying the grumbling stomachs. Even so, Lily had to admit she was hungry and gave in to the sweet smelling aromas surrounding her. Once everyone had purchased their food, a comfortable silence fell upon the seven of them as they contently ate away.

However, the silence was short-lived. The four boys began stuffing the food down their throats noisily. The moment the finished, they ran out to get more. With the return of the peace, and the room to themselves, the three girls began to talk about their summer.

"Guys, where's Alice?" Lily asked.

"She's sitting in another compartment," Beth replied, but continued seeing the lost expression on Lily's face, "with Frank."

"Longbottom?" Lily gasped. "She's going out with Longbottom and I didn't know?!"

Jodie interrupted, "Hardly can blame her though, I mean…we haven't talked with you all summer. I can't believe your parents won't let you send owls."

"It's my sister. Owls scare her so my parents had to stop them from coming. They didn't want to though." Lily defended. She continued without hesitation, "So, Alice is going out with Longbottom now. How about you guys?"

"Paris was absolutely gorgeous," Jodie responded laughing at her friends' expressions, "but it was totally not as much fun without you guys."

"I am so incredibly jealous. Paris!" Lily stated.

"Maybe you could go there with James on your honeymoon?" Jodie teased while sharing a glance with Beth who was laughing.

"Very funny guys! That would never happen. He's just too immature and insensitive. Plus, he's so annoying, irresponsible and mean to other kids."

"Yah but you have to admit he's hot. Along with Remus of course," Jodie added.

"Sirius too," Beth chimed in with a smile.

Lily laughed, "How could we forget Beth, you only remind us every day." A bright red blush crept onto Elizabeth's face.

Trying to change the subject, Beth interjected, "My summer was horrible. I pretty much stayed home all summer because my parents think you-know-who is right outside our door. Jo, you get to go to Paris and Lils, you get to have the best tan ever. All I get is a pair of freaked out parents."

"They're just worried about you. Besides, there have been a lot more murders lately." Jodie said. Jodie came from a long line of purebloods, although she didn't care much for it. Beth, on the other hand, was a halfblood since only her mother had magic in her veins. Lily was muggle-born; both her parents weren't magical.

When the four boys reentered the room, the mood was considerably more depressing. With the boys around though, the girls soon cheered up. For the remaining time, they talked, played cards and filled themselves with chocolate frogs and other various candies. Laughter replaced the sadness in the room.

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"We'll be arriving soon Lily," said James suddenly as he began to recognize the area around Hogmeade Station. No one knew the lands around Hogwarts better than the four adventurous and rule-breaking kids named the Marauders.

On this notes, Lily and James left to find the prefects. They instructed them to go around telling everyone they should begin to change and prepare to arrive in about 15 minutes. While returning to their compartment, Lily caught sight of a bunch of first years with their eyes glued to the window straining to see the faint glimpse of the glowing castle that would soon become their home.

James noticed this also, and whispered, "I remember when we used to be like that. Long time back wasn't it."

Lily merely nodded while she too, strained to catch sight of her home in the looming night. _I wonder what this year will be like, _Lily and James thought.


	3. So Welcome, Welcome Little Ones

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: I appreciate the reviews, whether it is criticism or not because it does help me to improve. I am aware my plot so far is similar to many other but I am trying to lead it into another direction. Thank you for bringing my attention to my characters lack of personalities as well. I will try and create more depth to them as much as possible.**

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Lily watched as her friends hurried off the train towards the awaiting carriages. Their eager faces full of excitement and recognition. Being the Head Girl, she and James had to stay behind and make sure all the bewildered first years find their way to the little boats that would carry them to the castle. She laughed as Jodie's graceful running ended her into the awaiting arms of Sirius Black.

Out of all her friends, Jodie and Beth were her closest. She had met Jodie when she was barely 8 years old. The short, big-eyed girl with her hair in a boyish cut was the last person her mother would expect from Lily as a best friend. Even today, Jodie, being 5 foot 3 inches, was still short although her hair had grown out and her eyes now fitted nicely with her face. She wasn't exceptionally pretty like their friend Beth, but she made up for it in personality. Lily admired her greatly in any case though. The instant Jodie Williams had decided to spit on Petunia's new thousand dollar shoes was the instant Lily Evans decided she would become her best friend. Petunia had never gotten along with Lily and always bullied her but Lily would never stand up to her older sister. She always feared her older sister.

As a result, a beautiful but unlikely friendship was formed when Jodie Williams chose to stand up for Lily. Eventually, by the time they were 9, they were inseparable. That was, until Lily turned eleven and found out she had to leave her best friend for ten months. How could she have known her childhood friend would be accompanying her?

Secretly, Lily wanted to be just like her friend. Outgoing and free-spirited were the perfect words to describe her. Lily's mother chose to describe her friend with scorn as appalling and disrespectful. Lily was absolutely astonished, and secretly impressed, when her 9 year old friend talked back to the formidable Mrs. Evans. Ever since she could remember, Lily was always trying to become her mothers "perfect little girl", never daring to be anything but. She grew up to be acquiescent and uptight, desperate to prove to her mother how well-behaved she could be. It was a constant competition between her sister and herself.

She had thought that her being a witch would disappoint her mother but it was quite the contrary. This caused an even greater rift between her and Petunia. Her mother and father were proud of their little girl being special, and Lily wanted to keep it that way. She worked hard and excelled at school, receiving honours such as becoming Head Girl. Even with the crazy Jodie by her side, Lily couldn't quite break out of her mold.

_This year it will be different though, _she promised herself, _this may the last chance I'll have to have fun._

Lily wouldn't have noticed that the train had emptied if James had not called out to her.

Let's go, he had said impatiently, we'll miss the feast! In her head, Lily knew that there was something else on his mind but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

_You're probably thinking too much, _Lily conceded as she stepped onto the carriage. James had lent a hand to help her up.

"You can let go of my hand now Potter," an annoyed Lily said, "I can sit perfectly well on my own." James shrugged sheepishly but nevertheless released her hand.

A few minutes into the ride, an awkward silence enveloped the party of two although only one seemed to notice it. James was too caught up staring at the magnificent castle looming beside them, growing every second. Soft flickering lights shone through select windows of the building causing a mysterious feeling to the castle. Further in the distance, he caught sight of a large leafless tree moving its branches to catch an unfortunate small bird. An overwhelming sensation engulfed him as he remembered all the memories he had had with his friends that involved this magical tree. He could faintly remember when it was planted during his first year. He could recall when the foolish second years like him at that time decided to taunt the tree to strike them. The tree had become stronger now, and no one dared draw near to it anymore; no one except him and his friends.

Finally, he caught sight of the great Hogwart doors. Lily seemed to notice them too as he recognized the change in her demeanor. A bubbly, excited Lily sat in front of him, barely able to contain herself in her seat. He laughed, relishing in seeing a different Lily than her usual cool constrained attitude. Upon seeing the frown on her face, he quickly covered it with a believable cough.

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Moments later, he found himself sitting between his friends Sirius and Remus, across from Beth who was between Lily and Jodie. Beside Jodie was Alice, who sat across from Peter. Ever since the end of sixth year, we had been sitting like this – girls on one side, boys on the other. James fairly liked the seating though, except for the fact that Lily wasn't in the seat beside him. He would never admit that to his friends though. James Potter hoping for a girl to simply sit beside him? Unbelievable. Although he was happy enough that the eight of them sat together now. For the greater part of sixth year and all the years before that, Lily Evans had determined that she would sit as far away from James as possible.

Lily still hadn't given up on that dream in her head though, but she thought it incredibly selfish to keep her friends from sitting with the boys. This resulted in sitting with them every single day, not to mention an abundant amount of envious stares from nearby girls. She would gladly switch spots with any of these girls if that had not meant she wouldn't be beside her best friends anymore. Instead, she was condemned to watch thee four boys, with possibly the exception of Remus, bask in the attention. Little did she know James found the attention nearly as unwanted as Lily, although he never showed it.

Suddenly, the pair of double doors leading into the Great Hall swung open. In flowed a continuous line of gaping eleven year olds. Some stared up above at the enchanted ceiling and some stared at the many people staring at them with amusement and perhaps sympathy. Most looked fearful and uncertain though in Beth's opinion.

Her eyes glazed over as her memory triggered.

She had been all alone her first year, although she had met a few girls on the ride to the school. While waiting outside the great double doors containing the unknown, she was overcome by anxiousness. Her mother hadn't mentioned anything about getting sorted at all! When the doors swung open, Elizabeth's jaws dropped open. Her vibrant eyes were wide open in amazement. The first thing she had noticed was the fact that the room seemed to have no ceiling. Only later on had she found out it was an enchanted ceiling. The next thing she had become aware of was the amount of older people, students she could only assume, sitting at four long tables. Not one of them spoke, merely staring at her and the rest of the first years. She couldn't help but feel self conscious and stumble a bit in line. The boy behind her had put his hand on her shoulder and gave her a soft smile when she tensed up.

Beth sighed as she looked at the new group of kids suffering the same fate. She wondered if they felt anything like she had felt. Then she glanced at the grown up version of the young boy who had comforted her. Her heart fluttered as she became aware of the same soft smile plastered on his face. She knew though, that Sirius Black was not the boy for her. He wouldn't notice her anyways.

The familiar song they had all become accustomed to hear at every sorting began:

"_Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,_

_But don't judge on what you see,_

_I'll eat myself if you can find_

_A smarter hat than me._

_You can keep you bowlers black,_

_Your top hats sleek and tall,_

_For I'm yhr Hogwarts Sorting Hat_

_And I can cap them all._

_There's nothing hidden in your head_

_The Sorting Hat can't see,_

_So try me on and I will tell you_

_Where you ought to be._

_You might belong in Gryffindor,_

_Where dwell the brave at heart,_

_Their daring, nerve and chivalry_

_Set Gryffindors apart;_

_You might belong in Hufflepuff,_

_Where they are just and loyal,_

_Those patient Hugglepuffs are true_

_And unafraid of toil;_

_Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_

_If you've a ready mind,_

_Where those of wit and learning,_

_Will always find their kind;_

_Or perhaps in Slytherin_

_You'' make you real friends,_

_Thos cunning folk use any means_

_To achieve their ends._

_So put me on! Don't be afraid!_

_And don't get in a flap!_

_You're in sage hands (though I have none)_

_For I'm a Thinking Cap!"_

The room erupted in applause as the hat appeared to have finished, but the moment the sound died, the hat then began another song:

_Welcome, welcome all you little ones,_

_To Hogwarts School of play and fun,_

_Mighty wise old Dumbledore,_

_Day by day, older more._

_With his great white beard and shining eyes,_

_He never utters a singly lie._

_Sadly that can't be said,_

_For the conniving, little Slytherin heads._

_The Marauders, there's no need to say,_

_The best pranksters to this day,_

_Don't you worry about a thing_

_For time will fly and it'll soon be may._

_Summer will come and home you go,_

_You'll be waiting for second year_

_That we know._

_So welcome, welcome little ones,_

_Prepare yourselves for a year of fun._

Once the final line was spoken, the sorting hat once again grew quite. The crowd simply stared at the once moving hat and after a few seconds, burst into an even greater applause. Everyone, including Dumbledore, seemed quite amused except the Slytherins.

The teachers, who seemed too tired to give out detentions on the first day, merely ignored the second song and began with the process of sorting. After many 'GRYFFINDORS' and 'RAVENCLAWS', 'SLYTHERINS' and 'HUFFLEPUFFS', the first years were finally done.

Albus Dumbledore then stood and beamed. "Welcome!" he boomed. "Welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. A warm welcome to the many talented new students this year and to the many returning students of the older grades. I would like to give a small mention to the students who put the Sorting Hat to the task of welcoming the first years with such a creative way! Now, let the feast begin!"

With this, the chattering commenced once again. The once empty plates were replaced with mouth-watering delicacies. This type of feast would normally have your mouth agape yet the returning students were accustomed to it. They had the house-elves to thank, and often, the Marauders payed them visits in the kitchen – although the intention was not particularly to thank them.

Just as Remus was about to grab food, Lily slapped their hands away. She glared at them while trying to contain the twitch of her mouth.

"That was your idea wasn't it?" she said, looking towards Remus.

"James! It was all James'!" he blabbed immediately. He successfully received a second death glare from his best friend.

"Go figure," muttered Lily under her breath. Giving up, she took her hand away and grabbed a helping of potatoes for herself.

"Admit it Evans, it was brilliant," said Peter.

"Just shut it Peter," Lily responded irritated.

"Calm down Miss Evans," interrupted the ghost, Sir Nicholas, who was floating by.

Lily just returned to glaring, much to the amusement of the rest of the table.

Soon, the desserts were finished and the plates were cleared. All the students were filled to their hearts desire and all were ready for bed.

Dumbledore cleared his throat and the Hall was immediately filled with silence.

"Just a few reminders before we all head off, first years should be aware that the Forbidden Forest is, as the name suggests, forbidden. Announcements for events will be posted on the boards in each tower by the Heads, whom I would like to speak to before the end of the night. Our caretaker, Mr. Filch, would like to remind that no magic should be used between classes, and pranks will not be tolerated," he finished, looking pointedly at the group of four sitting at the Gryffindor table. James and Sirius winked in reply to their headmasters laughing eyes.

"Oh, and let us introduce the first years to the school song before the prefects lead them the dorms shall we?"

"_Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts…"_


	4. Giant Squid

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Thanks for the reviews. I hope the description of the dorm is sufficient, it will be added on more later. If there is any confusion about it, please comment so I can fix it and improve.**

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Lily stared at the large stone gargoyle in front of her. At the moment, she was standing on the seventh floor, in front of the door to the headmaster's office.

"How do you suppose we get in?" she asked.

"Think of some candy names because Dumbledore's passwords are always like that," replied James. "Chocolate Frogs."

"Bertie Bott's," Lily tried.

"Jelly Slugs," James said, and with those words spoken, the gargoyle leaped aside to reveal a grand spiral staircase.

Taking the lead, he climbed the first step. Lily followed and took her place beside him. The moment they were both standing on a step, the staircase jolted and began to move upwards while the gargoyle entrance closed. After a few short moments, they found themselves banging the giant brass knocker against a huge, polished oak door.

The door swung itself open for them, giving Lily and James entrance to a large round room. Lily stood with her legs glued to the ground and her mouth agape. She slowly took in the beautiful room, lit by the sleepy sunlight. The walls were covered with thousands of books, new and old. Also on the walls were the mounted frames of past headmasters, all looking towards the two visitors with curiosity. What completed the magnificence of the room was the phoenix that perched contently on its stand, gazing at Lily.

"Well, don't just stand there Miss Evans, come in!" exclaimed the aging wizard. Dumbledore was no longer as young as he used to be, but not old either.

Noticing that James had already proceeded into the room, she followed. At the gesture from the headmaster, the Heads took a seat across from him. Elegantly, he rose from behind his desk and pointed his wand to the drinks cabinet situated behind his phoenix. As a bottle of juice came floating towards the desk, he levitated three cups to follow.

Once the drinks were served, he began, "You two, Miss Evans and Mr. Potter, are the Head Girl and Boy of Hogwarts this year. There will be responsibilities accompanying this position as well as privileges. You will be in charge of the prefects, holding meetings each month to make sure all is well. You will also be given the rights to give and deduct points to each house – I trust you will not abuse that power. Both of you will be looked up to by the whole school and so I wish you to be good role models."

He looked pointedly at the 18 year old boy in front of him.

He continued, "Special events will be planned by the both of you as well, this includes Hogsmeade trips and the seventh years' graduation at the end. For that, you will be collaborating with the teacher heads of each house. Lastly, a patrol schedule will have to be worked out. Student patrols must be done in pairs and by prefects. The schedule needs to be given to the prefects as soon as possible. Professor McGonagall will be monitoring your progress throughout the year and reports will be done to her. That is all."

With that, Dumbledore lifted his hand and the door to the office swung open once again. "I trust I will not be disappointed in the two of you."

James and Lily stood from their chairs and nodded to the wizard in front of them. "Thank you," replied James, who was the first to find his voice.

Together, the two of them headed for the door, only to stop once again at the voice of the headmaster.

"Oh, and you will not be residing with your friends this year. The Head's dormitory is located on the seventh floor, a little further down from the Gryffindor Tower. I believe James knows the way around the school well enough to be able to find it." The last point was stated with underlying meaning and amusement.

Immediately after stepping past the gargoyle opening, Lily let out the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Sort of takes your breath away the first time you go in there doesn't it," commented James lightly.

"You've been in there before?" asked an amazed Lily.

At the pointed look from James, her mouth formed an 'o' shape.

"Lots of times, although not usually for good reasons," he murmured.

Lily bit back the mean comment forming on her tongue. _James had been polite enough today, _she thought. Trying to change the subject, she wondered out loud, "How do you know where we're going?"

"Marauder's secret," he smiled.

"Of course."

Silently, she followed James who seemed to really know where he was going. In the lack of conversation, she began to notice how much James had changed since the previous year. Lily was fairly certain the nearing 6 foot boy in front of her wasn't much of a boy anymore. His hair had grown a little longer over the summer, although not much. His skin was still as tanned as ever and his hair was still as black and messy as before. Lily shook her head at that; she hated how he ran his hand through his hair because it made it look "like he just got off his broom" he once said. James wasn't the typical look of handsome, with his thin face and round glasses over his eyes. She always thought such beautiful hazel eyes should have been put on a boy worthy of them. Physically, James had changed for the better but Lily doubted his personality had changed at all. _He hasn't asked me out yet, _she admitted, _and he seems a little more mature. _She hastily added to herself, _but today's only the first day._

James chuckled quietly under his breath at the absurdity of the situation. He had stopped in front of the portrait that led them to the dorm followed by Lily. Once she stopped as well, she did not move to get in but rather stood their staring at it, lost in thought.

"Evans, you can stop drooling at me now," he teased.

Wide eyed at being caught, Lily responded, "You wish Potter."

Shaking his head, James replied, "Whatever you say."

The portrait of a knight spoke suddenly, stopping the argument ready to ensue, "New Password?"

"Lev-"

"Giant Squid." Lily cut in before James could finish.

James winced. Back in fifth year, Lily had said she would rather go out with a giant squid than with him when he had asked her out. It had hurt. Badly. He never let anyone know that though. The thought of that brought him back to the bet made on the train. _She probably would still choose the squid over me, _a saddened James supposed. _I need to change that this year. For the bet, _he reminded himself. Briefly, James wondered what Lily would do if she found out about his wager but the thought left as quickly as it came.

Instead of swinging open like the Fat Lady of Gryffindor, the knight merely tapped three times on the desk in his picture. A handle then appeared on the frame. James grabbed the handle and pushed his way in.

The first thing he noticed was how impressive and still comfortable the room seemed to be. Compared to the empty cold hallways they had just escaped, the room was warm and well lit. During the day, the first thing noticed would usually be the three tall windows situated directly across from the door on the other side of the room. At the moment, James did not notice them as much as he noticed the brilliant fire roaring in the corner of the room to the left of the windows. Two oversized red couches stood facing the fire, surrounding the dark brown rectangular table in front of the fire. Scattered around were giant red pillows edged with gold that just begged to be jumped in. The sitting are was completed with a large, soft, luxurious rug covering the dark hardwood flooring.

James walked to his left and began climbing the curving staircase. The staircase, chocolate brown in colour like the rest of the room, led to a small hallway. To his left, in the middle of the hall, was a dark brown door, with his name engraved on a golden plaque. To his right was the railing that looked over the sitting area. He leaned over and saw Lily walk forwards, pass the waist-high cabinet and the shelves lined with books to her right. She did not stop walking until she reached the windows. She turned to her right and began ascending the staircase almost symmetrical to his. When she too, leaned on the railing, James saw that they were directly across from each other.

He gave her an encouraging smile which she reciprocated. The light of the flame danced around her features, enhancing her smile in her eyes. Afraid he would do something, intentional or not, that would offend her, James turned around and entered his room.

James faintly heard a gasp from the other side but paid no attention. In any other moment, he would have been worried, but not at that instant because he uttered the same disbelieving noise when he pushed his own door open.

The room was decorated similarly to the common area; with oversized furniture in the deep rich colours of dark brown and red. The room looked just like he had arranged it himself. It was everything he imagined it to be. The middle of the room contained two small couches, perfect to fit the four Marauders nicely. In the center of one wall stood a towering bed, covered with thick bedding and various sized pillows. On either side were bedside table, equipped with a lamp, an alarm and pictures of his family.

Nearby, was a wardrobe and a there lied his most prized possession, his broomstick, the Vigil1977. On the adjacent wall were two doors beside each other, one was a closet containing all his clothes and the other was a washroom. Opposite of his bed was a small window that allowed full view of the quidditch pitch. In front of the window was a perching area for his owl, Rawlin, to land. Even his trunk full of pranks and plans for future pranks had been moved in here. _Wait 'till the guys see this_, mused James, as he continued exploring the room.

Meanwhile, Lily was going through a similar experience. Her room was quite similar to James' with a few exceptions. The first thing she noticed in her room was the impressive wooden desk in the corner to her right. On the desk were quills and inks, organized neatly to her liking. Beside her desk were shelves filled with books; magical and muggle ones alike. Her room, unlike the common area, was decorated in shades of green and dark brown. The table beside her bed was filled with books she was currently reading. Everything in her room was neat and organized, not a thing out of place.

She smiled and jumped onto her king sized bed, looking at the enchanted ceiling above her, full of twinkling stars. When her eyelids became unbearably heavy, she decided to change and get ready for an early night. She slid off the bed and went to find her pajamas. While brushing her teeth, there was a hesitant knock on the door. Confused, she opened the door to find James smiling sheepishly.

"Thought I'd say goodnight," he explained and turned on his heel, leaving her standing at her door.

"Gooight," tried Lily through her foam filled mouth.


	5. Confrontations with the Unwanted

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

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"Go Will!" screamed Lily at the top of her lungs. Usually, at 8 pm on a cool summer night, she would be at home reading but not today. Today was William's big game and he had said it would mean a lot if she would attend. Now here she was, screaming and yelling like a cheerleader on the sidelines of a basketball game.

"Cassin has the ball and there's twenty seconds left. Looks like a loss for our home team today," the announcer commented. The crowd booed.

Suddenly, the announcer exclaimed, "Wait wait! Danson has just made a steal and is now at halfcourt. FOUL! That was a foul ref!"

Indeed it was, as Will Danson stepped up to the line while the gym was in an uproar. He caught the ball from the referee and dribbled a few times. Each second felt like a minute to Lily.

"And he makes the first one."

_One more to win Will! _thought Lily, _come onn! _If seconds felt like minutes before, then the seconds felt like hours now.

"And we win!! Richmond Team winnns!" shouted the announcer, nearly deafening everyone in the gym.

Lily bounded down to the court and jumped onto the back of her boyfriend. _Boyfriend, _she mused happily, _who would've thought. _The 15 year old boy turned around and hugged his girlfriend, burying his glistening head into her hair.

"Ew," she shrieked, "Will stop it!"

Will threw his head back and laughed, "Fine! I'm going to go shower now, so I'll see you after?" He looked at her hopefully.

"Of course," she replied, smiling thoroughly from her heart.

As he walked away, she watched him. He walked towards the change rooms happily with his teammates congratulating him. His well built body shining in sweat. Even so, he was no less beautiful. His dark brown hair stuck up and she imagined his charming grin, often used to cheer up the elderly…or melt the hearts of many girls. She imagined his ocean blue eyes, capable of drowning in. _I love him,_ she thought.

In Lily's eyes, he was the perfect guy. He was always there for her, buying little presents for her or writing little notes for her. Will was the type of guy that would tell her she needed to stop working and have fun, but he would also be the guy that would end up working with her just to ease up the pressure for her. She had never imagined he would like her.

Will was the popular boy in his high school. Charming, handsome and kind hearted. I mean, he would go to the retirement homes once a week to visit. Being the captain of the basketball team didn't hurt either. What was Lily? Lily was the girl that went to 'boarding school' and only returned during the summer. She was the girl that had been in love with him since she was 10 years old. She was the girl that would have been the nerd in the school. Sure she wasn't ugly or anything, but she never quite considered herself beautiful.

Will always told her she was the prettiest girl he'd ever laid eyes on. Superficial or not, it felt good to hear that once in a while.

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrapped around her and a low voice whispered in her ear, "So how about some celebratory ice-cream with my beautiful girlfriend?"

She turned around and placed a small kiss on his lips.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Together they walked hand in hand to the park, where they found a small ice-cream booth.

"One vanilla and one chocolate please," Will ordered gathering money to pay.

"I can get it today," Lily hastily said, "it's my turn anyways."

"Nonsense," Will replied with that irresistible smile of his.

"Alright, I'm going to call my mom so she knows where I am ok?"

"Right, your mom would get mad."

A little later, Will and Lily strolled through the park, each devouring their own cone.

"Willlll," Lily whined, "Can I have some of your vanilla ice-cream?" She looked up at him with a fair attempt at puppy-dog eyes.

"Nope."

"Please?"

"Nope," laughed Will.

While he laughed though, Lily stood on her toes and licked some ice-cream off his.

"HEY!" he exclaimed.

Now it was Lily's turn to laugh. Before she knew it, she had chocolate ice-cream dripping from her nose. She stared with an accusatory glance before giving in. She dipped her finger into his ice-cream and wiped it on his nose. Both laughed merrily as the image faded away.

Suddenly, the scene was replaced by Lily and her parents entering the house on the first day of summer. The September following, she would become a fifth year at Hogwarts.

"Mom, can I bake a cake?" she asked.

"Why would you want to bake a cake dear?" her mother questioned, "Just get the cook to make it. You should spend your time reading or doing something more innovative."

Lily rolled her eyes in her mind but replied sweetly, "It's Will's birthday tomorrow."

"Oh right, that boy," she commented with slight disgust.

"So mom…?" Lily said impatiently. She wasn't trying to be rude, although she was going through a slightly rebellious stage, she just knew it would take her at least 2 tries to make the cake right.

"Alright," she allowed. None of the 'make sure you clean up' routine mothers used applied to Lily's mom. It was merely 'Alright', she expected the rest to be done without reminders.

In the morning, she woke up early and ran to the kitchen. Her cake, made after long hours of hard work, was still intact in the fridge. Lily beamed. Today, she would tell him how she felt. She would tell him how much she loved him and how much she cared for him.

Once again, the images faded and were replaced by another scene. Lily was at the door of Will's room, fully prepared to surprise him.

"You never did wake up early," she whispered to herself.

Slowly, she opened the door and walked in, past the small foyer of his room and around the corner. The cake splattered on the floor, causing a loud thump. There Will was, sleeping in bed. With another girl.

Lily couldn't tell if they were shirtless or not. Lily couldn't even tell if they were awake or not. Tears blurred her vision as she felt the stale air of the room suffocate her. She did the only thing she could think of. She ran.

With one last look at the smashed cake on the ground, the cake that so similarly represented her heart, she bolted. She needed to get away from him. She needed to get away from the room, the scene. And while she ran, tears poured from her eyes.

_How could he do this to me? _she cried. _How could I have been so blind. I should have know, the ugly geeky girl like me couldn't have a real boyfriend -- especially when she was never even here during the year. _Her thoughts began to wonder, _How many times had he done this before then?_

With that, she collapsed onto the nearby grass and held her knees to her chest, as if to protect herself from the pain engulfing her. It didn't work.

Lily felt like she couldn't breathe. She strained for air, gasping and gasping.

With a jolt, Lily sat up straight in her bed, stiff as a rod. The room was silent, save for the faint noises of the crickets outside. Her clock chimed, signaling another hour. Blackness surrounded her and she found it cold and repulsive. Tears rolled down her face, mixed with a touch of sweat. She gasped for air, slowly counting to ten in her head.

_That was 2 years ago Lily, _she reprimanded herself. _He's out of your life now. It shouldn't bother you like this anymore. _Sure, she no longer felt the clenching of her heart, the clutching of her chest but she would never forget. It had hurt once upon a time, but now she just felt numb. Sometimes, numbness wasn't so bad.

2 years ago had been the one and only time she had put her heart on the line. She had learned her lesson the hard way. Never…would she do that again. Now she was older and that meant realizing that falling in love and living happily ever after was just a deceiving school-girls dream.


	6. Worries for Some, Others? Not So Much

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Please review.**

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"Clearly, this is not the time to bother you Lilyflower," said James the next morning the moment he saw her.

"So take a hint and drop the act Potter." Lily rubbed her heavy eyes, yawning loudly. Her face displayed her lack of sleep clearly, no matter how hard she tried to cover it up.

"You don't look too well Evans."

Lily sighed, "Thank you for stating the obvious, genius." She knew she didn't look good at all. After waking from her dream, she couldn't fall back asleep. The moment her eyelids shut, images of Will flooded her head. As a result, she spent the rest of her night reading the textbooks. _Might as well use the time effectively, _she had thought. Now, as she stepped out into the hall, she regretted it.

"Wow Lils, are you okay?" asked a concerned Beth at breakfast.

"Did James keep you up all night?" added Sirius who was sitting beside Beth.

"I'm fine okay?!" she snapped, "and no, Sirius. Get those thoughts out of your head."

Remus, who sat beside Lily, attempted to voice his own concern about her but Lily beat him to it. "Guys, I just had a bad night. Nothing to be worried about at all." Seeing the faces of her friends, Lily was touched. They cared so much for her. Softening her voice, she added, "I promise."

Jodie leaned forward, her long straight-cut bangs falling slightly above her raised brows. She didn't say anything at the moment but Lily wasn't getting off that easy. Jodie knew. She had been with Lily during that time – when that whole incident with _him_ happened. As Lily looked up, Jodie gave her a pointed look that said, I'll talk to you about it later.

All conversations ended as the food appeared in front of them. The chatter in the hall died almost immediately, being replaced by the sounds of loud chewing.

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Jodie pulled Lily once breakfast was over, "You're still having those dreams?"

"I can't exactly help it. It's not like I want them."

"You wouldn't have it if you just _let go._"

"It's not that easy!" screamed Lily as she stormed ahead. Why couldn't Jodie understand?

Jodie ran to catch up to her friend. Her grip fell onto Lily's arm, a strong grip for the petite girl. That was Jodie for you, always surprising.

Lily faced her. "What?!"

"You really need to forgive him Lily, and while you're at it, forgive the rest of the male population that hasn't done anything to you."

_Clearly, _Lily thought, _Jo has gone mad. _"I can't forgive him. All guys are the same Jo, I just don't want to trust them again. Look at Sirius; all he knows how to do is hurt the girls that like him."

_Girls like Beth, _they both thought to themselves. "Sirius doesn't count. If you never forgive Will," Lily's flinch noticeably at that name but Jodie continued, "then you'll always have those nightmares. Not all guys are like him."

"So tell me why you're never with a guy more than a few weeks Jo. You don't trust them with your heart either so leave me alone."

At this time, Beth rounded the corner surprised to see her friends seething at each other. Lily had asked Jodie not to tell Beth about Will. Jodie wouldn't have known had she not lived beside Lily at that time. Lily didn't want people to know about this time of her life. It was embarrassing to her, and it brought back memories. It showed her weak side, as her mom kindly put out when she came crying home. Lily Evans was not a weak girl.

Beth spoke in the soft voice of hers, "Come on guys, we're going to be late for our first class of the year."

"Right," said Lily shortly. She wasn't necessarily mad at her friend. This wasn't the first time they would argue about _him_ and it wouldn't be the last. She just wished Jodie would leave her alone sometimes.

"Wouldn't want that now would we," said Jodie while she grabbed her books off the ground. _Lils is too stubborn, _she fumed, but all the while, the comment Lily made kept running through her head.

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She acted like it didn't bother her. Who cared if everyone thought she was the biggest flirt in the world? She acted like it didn't hurt. She acted like she didn't care but the main point was she acted. It did bother her. It did hurt her and she did care.

_Why don't I ever have a boyfriend longer than a few weeks? _That thought swarmed her brain all through transfiguration class. She found focusing on the new professor, Professor McGonagall, quite a difficult task. On her left sat Lily, paying full attention like the good student she was. Beth sat on her right and even though her eyes were on the teacher, Jodie could tell her mind wasn't. Even though Beth didn't always pay attention, she never had any problem catching up. Jodie was the on that was never good at school and she knew she should be paying attention if she wanted to pass the N.E.W.Ts.

She thought back to the argument between her and Lily just before this class. At least Lily knew that she didn't trust guys and she had a fairly good reason for that. Jodie just didn't know. It's not that she didn't trust them with her heart. She was just scared. Sometimes she thought it really was the idea that she wanted to guard her heart. Other times, she thought she was scared of the commitment in a relationship. She was afraid of being smothered, and losing the freedom she loved so much.

_Now I sound like Sirius Black, _she thought with disgust. _But no, Sirius doesn't care about hurting those girls. _Jodie did. She tried not to hurt them as best as she could. It didn't always work as planned though. Sometimes, on rare occasions, she envied her best friends. Lily was the perfect daughter, the perfect student, had the perfect look and all. Beth was beautiful in a modest way, but that wasn't what Jodie envied about her. She envied how Beth knew who she liked. Lily and she didn't have that type of luck.

"Miss Williams, please pay attention!" scolded McGonagall.

"Sorry Professor," she replied, focusing her attention on the teacher, who was listing her expectations for the seventh years.

Sirius Black looked over to the blonde girl sitting in front of him. Bored by the lesson, he decided to pass a note to her.

**Daydreaming about me Williams? I'm flattered really.**

He lifted the note with his wand, while he muttered the levitating spell, and guided it to Jodie. It landed directly in the middle of her desk and Sirius smiled smugly.

Jodie picked up the note in front of her with confusion. She opened it and read. There was no question who had sent this for only one boy in the class could be this arrogant. She turned around and sent a chilling glare to Sirius.

He felt his breath catch in his throat momentarily as her pouty lips mouthed the words 'not even'. The ice blue eyes penetrated him. Jodie was pretty in her own way, he admitted. She wasn't the type of girl a person noticed for being beautiful; it was her personality that stood out. Sirius honestly wouldn't mind going out with a feisty girl like her.

She was bold, from her hairstyles to the way she dressed. Sometimes he didn't know how Lily Evans, the girl who was sensible and safe became best friends with the Jodie Williams. Then he noticed Beth.

_Beth, _Sirius mused. He had once developed a small crush on her but it didn't last. She was too fragile to be with a guy like him and he knew it. He may like girls, but he certainly didn't go and break them on purpose.

The girl in his thoughts at that moment looked back at sent a kind smile his way. He smiled in return although he didn't know how that had caused said girl's heart to melt. Beth wasn't stupid though; she knew he didn't look at her that way. She saw it in his eyes when he looked at Jodie and it was very different from the way he looked at her. Suddenly, her heart tightened and she felt a twinge of jealousy towards he best friend. Pushing that thought out of her head, she returned her gaze to the front.

Sirius eyes though, were still on Beth. She had grown this summer, he thought. _Definitely hotter. _Her naturally curly hair was longer and seemed so soft and shiny. Her body had obviously changed too. He always knew she would grow to be a beautiful girl, actually, he always knew she had been a beautiful girl. _Too bad she's not my type, _Sirius convinced himself with certainty.

He tore his eyes away from her and tried to focus on the teacher, barely noticing that Professor McGonagall looked quite nice with her sleek black hair and blue-green eyes.

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A loud bell chimed throughout the school signaling the end of the last class of the day. Class had flown by and the first day was over.

"What a long day!" exclaimed Peter as he and the marauders walked to the common room.

"You're telling me. This year is going to be brutal."

"James, you're luckier than me man. I have a ten inch essay for muggle studies," commented Remus.

"Why are you even taking that course?" questioned Sirius.

"I –"

"Don't answer Moony, that was a rhetorical question. Duh."

Remus rolled his eyes and stepped in front of the fat lady portrait which hid the opening to the Gryffindor tower.

"Amortentia."

The Fat Lady didn't swing open for them but instead responded, "Well well if it isn't James Potter."

"Good Evening," James said politely.

"Up to more trouble again this year boy?"

"Always."

The lady in the portrait laughed and allowed them entrance.

"I swear Prongs, she has a thing for you," whispered Sirius, cautiously glancing back to make sure she hadn't heard.

"She lives in a painting, Padfoot. What more can I say?"

"You never know Prongs." A disbelieving Sirius led them to empty couches in front of the hearth.

James looked around the room and noticed quite a few girls giving the boys smiles. He winked at a few of them and they immediately turned and whispered excitedly to their friends. James couldn't help but smirk at his friends while running a hand through his hair.

Suddenly, he heard a familiar groan from behind.

"Don't you ever get tired of flirting with every single girl in a room?"

"Nope..right guys?"

They smiled hesitantly, unsure whether they should or should not agree. The person behind James looked awfully intimidating.

"Ughh."

"You're so jealous Evans."

"No. I'm totally disgusted."

"Then why are you here?"

"I'm here because I am to remind you that you need to post Quidditch tryout dates soon."

"Is that –"

"No that's not all. We also need to meet tonight."

At this, Sirius coughed, trying to suppress a giggle.

Annoyed, Lily clarified, "To make a patrol schedule and set up the first Hogsmeade date."

James nodded, and continued with conversing to his friends, ignoring Lily in the process. Clearly being dismissed, Lily audibly moaned in frustration and stormed out.

"So I guess I'm going to with the bet." Sirius clapped his hands together eagerly.

"We're going to be 20 galleons richer Padfoot," Remus agreed.

"What are you guys going on about? Keep dreaming cause I'm going to win."

"Are you joking me Prongs? She absolutely hates you," Sirius replied.

Peter added, "With good reason too."

James looked towards the entranceway that Lily had just left through. "We'll see."

"I just don't want to get tied down to her yet. Don't worry guys," he lied.

Remus, seeing right through James, laughed. "Oh, I'm not worrying. I'm just thinking of all the ways to use those twenty galleons."

"I think we should raise the stakes. How about 20 galleons EACH James?" Sirius was anything but stupid. He knew James had been trying because today he had caught James staring at Lily with the same love struck look from last year.

Unable to swallow his pride, James weakly agreed. Now, he definitely needed to make Lily Evans his girl. _Not that I wasn't going to anyways. _

A little voice in the back of his head knew that this was wrong. Betting on a person was a horrible thing to do. Unfortunately for James, he had ignored that tiny voice all his life and this time was no different.


	7. Or Maybe People Do Change

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Please review. **

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Lily was surprised. She was stunned, confused, thrown off, astonished, dumbstruck and speechless. Not only had the most annoying boy named James Potter not asked her out, he had even said the words Lily had dreamed of for years.

Lily, he had said, I just want to apologize for all the times I've annoyed you by asking you out. Clearly, it doesn't please you at all. I won't ever bother you about going out with me ever again.

He didn't even add 'unless you want me to'.

This had happened about 2 weeks ago, on September 16th. Lily flushed, _now how had she remembered that?_ Narrowing her eyes, a thoughtful looked filled her features. This wasn't like him at all. Conveniently at that moment, said boy came waltzing into the hallway, laughing at apparently a joke told by his friend.

She knew she shouldn't have done it. It was her that would have been embarrassed, but she did it anyways. She stomped up to him and raised her head and looked at him haughtily.

"What do you think you're doing?" she demanded.

James stared at her with fear etched on his face. "Laughing at a…." he hesitated, "..joke Sirius made up."

"No, I mean **before**." She put the emphasis on the word 'before' hoping he would take the hint. Lily really didn't want to ask him, 'What were you doing saying you wouldn't ask me out anymore'.

James stammered, "Well, that kid was just a-ssking for it." How did Lily know he had just hexed the imbecile third year slither, Jack Heamer. _God, nothing escapes those pretty eyes, _he thought.

Instead of yelling at him, or deducting points, or threatening him, Lily said something that caught James off guard.

"No!" she breathed frustratingly, "what you said two weeks ago."

James couldn't help it. He didn't know she would be worried about him not asking her out. He bellowed with laughter. The scene was just incredible. There was Lily, flushing with her prim and proper attire, hands on her hips glaring at him unamused.

"No! I **meant**, you're James Potter."

James assured her that he was indeed James Potter.

Lily let out a growl of frustration. "No! No! No! You're James Potter and saying that was NOT a James Potter thing to do. What are you trying to do? I know you Potter. There has got to be some other reason behind this."

All amusement left the face of the boy in front of her and Lily for the first time in her life found that maybe, just maybe, James Potter wasn't joking.

"Maybe Evans, I just got over you. Get over yourself because if you call me arrogant, then what are you? You don't know me at all because you never gave me a chance. Hell, you never gave anyone a chance. Don't think that you know me." James spat the words out like vinegar in his mouth.

Lily stood there glued to the ground. Her eyes wandered to her feet and she was dismayed to realize that he was right. What right did she have saying she knew him? Maybe it was her that was immature and arrogant. She didn't even have the nerve to be mad at him so instead, she whispered the words, I'm sorry, before fleeing from the scene as quickly as possible with the most dignity left as possible.

She thought that no one had heard the two words she spoke but James did. He didn't mean to say those things. They were lies and he knew it. He didn't get over Lily – even if he tried. She wasn't arrogant and she didn't deserve those words. The only thing that was true in there was the fact that she didn't know him and it was his fault too.

He was the one who acted like a moron and a prat in front of her. What was she supposed to think? It's just, he got fed up and the words came out before he got a chance to stop them.

He stared at Lily's retreating figure as he ran a hand through his hair. _Oh boy!_

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"Lily!" Jodie shouted as she pounded on the entrance to the Head's dorm. Inside, Lily thought about ignoring her friends but figured they wouldn't shut up until she let them in so she trudged herself to the door and opened it. The sight she saw was her two best friends fuming and angry which wasn't unusual for Jodie's fiery temper but it was very unusual for the laid back and calm Beth.

"I can't believe he said those things!" screamed the blonde haired girl as she marched into the room and plopped down onto a couch.

Beth stayed by the door engulfing her friend into a hug. "Are you alright?"

"Guys, I'm perfectly fine."

"But –"

"Are you –"

"Yes I am aware that this is Potter that said these things and yes I'm certain I'm fine," she insisted. "It's just…he's right."

Jodie and Beth gave knowing smiles to each other but quickly turned them into sympathetic smiles when Lily looked up.

"Maybe you should give him a chance," suggested Beth quietly.

Lily could find many flaws in that idea. For one, that would mean giving him a chance to break her heart. He was like Will in so many ways, even if she wasn't fully aware of it, she sensed it. And secondly, he didn't like her anymore. Oddly, she found that disconcerting. She found the lack of 'Good morning beautiful' s and sort of discomforting. She missed them

Beth watched her friend closely, noticing the absent stare of her friend. _She's thinking again, _Beth observed. She always knew James was a good person and she always knew he loved Lily. Beth didn't think he would ever stop loving her. _He probably just couldn't take it anymore. _She doubted he actually got over Lily, although he certainly acted like it. James was a good person, but he never acted that way in front of Lily and that was his problem. Lily, on the other hand, was stubborn and refused to let anyone inside and that was her problem. She had changed when she came back for fifth year Beth recognized.

Beth then looked over to her other best friend. Jodie knew the other James as well and they had often confronted him about acting like an idiot in front of Lily. In fact, it was them that told James maybe backing off would be the best way to win Lily. It seemed to be working too. _At least, _Beth thought, _she's reconsidering her opinion of James. _

Not that his verbal abuse was going unpunished though. Jodie and she already confronted James about his lashing at their friend. Beth had decided that James was getting enough of a punishment feeling guilty so she had persuaded Jodie to talk to Lily instead.

Beth heard Jodie clear her voice and added cheerfully, "As a friend."

Although with one look at Lily's face, they both could tell she had stopped listening already. Lily, in fact, was busy mentally scolding herself for missing James' teases.

"Come on Lils, go to sleep. We have to go too, its almost curfew," Beth reminded.

"Alright, good night. Thanks guys but don't worry about me, I'm fine."

Funnily, that's what she said two years ago when she returned to Hogwarts with a tear-stained face.

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Later that night, Lily lied on her bed staring at the ceiling once again. This time though, an enchanted storm was above her, mirroring her emotions. She didn't like James; that was for sure. More so, she was wondering if she were a bad person. Was she really a hypocrite? Did she really come off as conceited and arrogant, full of pride and stubbornness? – because that was anything but her.

It was time for a change. Hadn't she always wanted an escape from becoming the next Jane Evans? She didn't want to grow up to be like her mother – perfectly boring. Getting a proper education, choosing the right job and waiting for the right man seemed all too plain and contrived for Lily Evans. This year, she would try something new.

"Maybe it's time to move on, it doesn't mean I have to give in to love," Lily whispered to herself. Then she added bitterly, "there's no such thing."


	8. Not Enemies

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Please review. **

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The loud ringing of her alarm reached her ears as she instinctively reached over to shut it off. Lily fell back onto her bed, letting herself drift back into sleep.

Just as her dream began to reappear, her alarm rang once again. Lily groaned. She got up and switched it off, slipping on her slippers while heading to her washroom.

_Her washroom, _she smiled. She loved the sound of that. Beth and Jodie hated her for it. They still had to fight the rest of the girls in the dorm to get the washroom first where as Lily had one all to herself.

Shaking her head at the picture of her best friends fuming, she climbed into the shower. At first, ice cold water ran over her body causing her to shriek and jump back. Soon though, the water warmed to a much more suitable temperature. The now hot water slid down her skin as she felt her muscles relax. Closing her eyes, Lily faced the showerhead and let the water soak her long hair thoroughly. _God this felt good._

Once she was done, Lily reluctantly opened the shower door and stepped onto the mat neatly laid out. The cold outside air tingled against her skin as she pulled the towel around her tighter. Wiping her hands over the mirror, she cleared off some of the condensation. The image of herself was different then the one she had seen lately. A good night's sleep had done her well. Her mind had been so caught up in the excitement of not becoming like a boring old priss when she grew up that she had completely forgotten about her ex-boyfriend.

_Way to ruin it Lily, _she chided herself.

Lily shook her head, splattering water droplets all over the floor around her, and told herself that she would not think of him again. Today was a good day and she wouldn't let thoughts of him cloud her mind.

She took extra steps in preparing herself that morning. The usually five-minute-and-ready girl spent over an hour making herself up. For her hair, she curled it with an iron so that her natural curls were more tamed and well-behaved. Then, she styled it into a low French twist, letting it hang over onto her left shoulder. But Lily was still Lily though, and she was still the girl who hated the very thought of make up. Although just to spite the figure her mother represented, she lined her eyes with khaki-grey and added mascara to her lashes. The colour made her almond shaped eyes stand out looking more exquisite than ever. With a little bit of colourless lip-gloss, her visage was ready. There was no need for blush Lily was certain, because her face flushed naturally all the time.

With the towel wrapped around her, she went to her closet to search for something to wear. Since today was the weekend, she wasn't obliged to wear the formal school uniform. Instead, she chose a pair of dark blue Seven jeans that hugged her legs and a white baby doll shirt with puffy sleeves. She paired that with a large black belt buckled high on her torso and black shoes with small heels.

As she sat in front of her wardrobe mirror, she pulled open a cupboard, picked out a thick black headband and placed in on her head, careful to leave her sideswept bangs in front. Lastly, the ever practical Lily rummaged through her closet and found a black knit sweater to carry around. She was finally ready.

She walked down the wooden stairs with her heels clicking at each step she made. Surprisingly, she found James sitting on the couch with a book in his hand. Mustering up all the strength she could find, she strode over to his place and sat beside him. James glanced up from the book and quickly returned his gaze back down. Then, as if something had struck him, he looked up again.

"I'm sorry," they both said at the same time.

James stared at the girl in front of him. He was in absolute awe. She was amazing, he had always known that, but today, she looked different. She looked beautiful today, not that she didn't everyday. It was just a big change from her usual quick and careless efforts. Obviously, the time she had taken to prepare herself had not been wasted. He would know. He had been sitting there with a boring charms textbook laid out in his lap for almost half an hour. This reminded him to continue.

"No, I shouldn't have blown up on you like that. It was my fault and I'm really sorry."

This shocked Lily somewhat although from what she saw yesterday, she didn't think anything James Potter could do could shock her anymore. James was apologizing – willingly. From the look in his eyes, Lily had no trouble determining his sincerity.

"Potter, I'm the one who should be apologizing. I guess, you first came off as a pompous idiot to me and I never –"

"For good reason too," James pointed out.

"But maybe I was the one who was conceded James!"

James smiled. She had used his first name! She had finally not called him Potter! His smile was short-lived as she self-conciously corrected herself.

"Er..Potter I mean."

"Don't put anything I said into your heart Ev-Lily."

He pointedly used her first name, hoping with all his heart that she would take the hint. She looked up at him curiously and he quickly inquired,

"How about we try being friends?"

"Not enemys."

"Fine," sighed James dramatically, causing a smile to appear on the face of the girl in front of him. "How about we try and not be enemies, **Lily**?"

"I don't know how well that would turn out," she answered truthfully. Alarms were ringing in her head.

His smile faltered and he looked down sadly. Lily watched this and felt incredibly guilty. _Change!, _Lily reminded herself.

Jodie and Beths' faces appeared in her head, simultaneously saying, "Just give him a chance!"

Her gaze returned to the boy sitting beside her, disheartened and unhappy and she quietly confessed, "But I think we could definitely give it a try."

She laughed as his head popped up, his grin seemingly as big as could be. "Besides," she added, "I'm sure we could give our friends' ears a break."

"You mean the whole schools' ears," he quipped.

Lily smiled brightly.

"Would you like to go to breakfast with me Pott-," she paused and looked up in embarrassment, "James? I'm sure it would shock Sirius so bad he would pee himself."

James' eyes twinkled with mirth and he chuckled. It would have been a sight to see and he was sure it would happen to. If not just for the fact that Lily and James weren't yelling at each other, but for the fact that James was progressing. But no, James had something he had to do.

"No, you go ahead. I have to get the quidditch tryout notice posted before breakfast."

She nodded and headed out. James couldn't help but let his eyes travel over her body. _So much for getting over her. _Right before exiting, she turned and reminded him that tonight they were having a head's meeting at 8. _Still the same old responsible Lily, _James shook his head but couldn't help the smile appearing on his face.

The moment the portrait hole was shut, James leaped from the couch and pumped his fist in the air. Remus' idea was definitely working. One small step for mankind maybe, but it was one big step for James Potter.

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When Lily had entered the great hall for breakfast, she had found it was already full of people. Many turned their heads at Lily, mostly boys, as she walked towards her group of friends.

Beth noticed the attention her friend was getting and beamed. "Lils, you look great!"

Even Sirius, Peter and Remus noticed – too had she was Prongs' girl. They nodded altogether. Instead of gushing her thanks, Lily simply stood there with crossed arms and a disbelieving look plastered on her face. Sure she didn't usually wear make up, but she hadn't put that much on! She sat down and huffed.

The girl beside of her snorted, "Surely you noticed that half the guys in this room stared when you entered."

"Always the drama queen Jo."

Jodie rolled her eyes and pleaded, "Beth, please tell this girl she really does look beautiful today." Lily had to roll her eyes at this compliment although she smiled anyways.

"You really do look gorgeous today Lils, I think a good night sleep did the trick."

"Well, I haven't slept as well as last night for over almost a month," Lily admitted slowly. She had to do this more often.

"And do I see mascara on?" Beth teased.

"Don't even bother. I'm not putting it on for James," she added when Sirius swallowed quickly preparing to comment, "It's my form of rebelling against the Jane Evans."

Jodie and Beth immediately nodded in consent; they had both met Jane Evans. It took a lot to stand up against her. The boys just looked on with puzzlement.

Suddenly, James slipped in beside Peter and greeted cheerfully, "Hey guys, hey Lily."

They all nodded and then all heads snapped to Lily who was nodding as well.

"What have you done with the real Lily!" declared Jodie out of the blue. Lily would never have consented to James calling her by her first name.

"Oh, quit it Jo! We've decided to not be enemies," she stated proudly.

"No, you've decided to stop being enemies," remarked Peter jokingly.

"Whatever."

Everyone looked at Lily with raised brows as if waiting for her to break out laughing and then verbally lashing James.

"Stop staring at me like that," she demanded feeling a little scared. "I'm serious guys," she added once she noticed they had in fact, not stopped.

In one second or less, three girls could be seen rushing out of the room; one being dragged behind the two.

They boys burst out laughing and Remus leaned across the table to high five James. He whispered, "I see the whole stop annoying her and deflating your ego thing has worked. Just don't ever tell Sirius I was the one who suggested it."

James and Remus both turned and looked at the black haired boy staring at the door in disbelief. He may not be pissing in his pants, but this was still funny enough. Sirius Black, for the first time in his life, was speechless.

_How did this happen! _thought Sirius. Unbeknownst that was exactly what Beth and Jodie thinking too.

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"Wait! Didn't you guys always want me to give him a chance?" Lily asked once they were a safe distances from people that could overhear.

She glanced impatiently at her friends standing before her, "Well…?"

"Yes."

"Yah."

"So what's the problem then?"

Jodie's only response was, "What took you so long?"

The three girls laughed together but once it died down, Beth asked, "Seriously though, what took you so long?"

"You're joking right?" Lily stared incredulously. The look on the faces of her friends told her differently.

"It's just, after yesterday, I realized that I really didn't know him at all. Ever since the beginning of this year, I've noticed that he seems a little more mature but it just didn't stick with the James Potter in my mind. So today, when he asked to be friends after apologizing," she put the emphasis on that word, "I couldn't help but think how all of you guys always assure me he's a nice guy."

"So you said yes."

Lily nodded.

"I know you want to change Lily, to not be like your mother. I mean this year, that's all you've been telling us about. Are you sure this isn't just another way to prove to yourself you're trying to change?"

Lily shook her head reluctantly. "Does it matter though?"

"It matters to him Lils," answered Beth, who had been fairly quiet throughout the confrontation.

"He doesn't even like me anymore," Lily insisted trying to convince herself and her friends. "I'm sure of it."


	9. She Needed Someone, Anyone

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Please review. **

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James quietly stepped into the common room of the heads dorm at eight o'clock sharp. There was where he found Lily with her head down and her eyes concentrating intently on the book she was reading. He stood behind the couch where Lily was seated and covered her eyes with his hands. Her skin was soft against his weather hands from quidditch, Lily observed.

"Guess who?" he squealed in the highest pitch voice he could muster.

She laughed. "Could it be..Jodie?"

"Wrong!" he shouted with fake triumph.

"James!" Lily exclaimed, pretending to be shocked. They both collapsed in fits of laughter. Sure it was immature and childish, but it was fun nonetheless.

Once the laughter had died down, Lily smiled at him. "You're early," she remarked. James knew she was surprised but she didn't show it.

"I'm not totally irresponsible you know," James stated offhandedly, pretending to be slightly offended.

"Oh! I didn't mean it that way," Lily replied quickly, "It's just…not what I expected I guess."

He couldn't help but laugh. She seemed so sincere and serious. Seeing the amusement on his face, Lily snapped, "I thought you were really offended!" although she was smiling anyways.

"Oh come on Lily, take a joke. Let's start with this meeting shall we?"

Lily nodded and James decided to take the lead.

"So, there are a few conflicts with the patrol schedules."

"Really?" Lily inquired. She hadn't heard any complains about it.

"Yes, the quidditch captain, who also happens to be the Head boy, can not patrol on the days after late games," James smirked.

Lily rolled her eyes and declared jokingly, "You're still the same arrogant prick."

"Always." James lifted his hand and placed it over his heart while he said that, nodding his head in acknowledgement.

"Don't worry, I'll patrol alone on those days. There aren't many are there?"

"Only a few. That sounds good," agreed James.

"We need to get the first Hogsmeade day planned too. It's almost the end of September and we haven't had one yet so I was thinking maybe we could have one next Sunday."

"Yeah, we can run that by Professor McGonagall tomorrow and post the notices up then too."

"Great."

There was a pause as both parties tried to rack their brains for the other things needed to discuss. Lily reached into the pile of books beside her and pulled out a piece of parchment.

"You made a list of topics?" exclaimed James incredulously.

"Of course, I **am **Lily Evans you know," she teased. "I was thinking..nevermind."

James looked at the girl in front of him and encouraged, "No go on."

"I was just thinking maybe we could have a Halloween ball. It would at least take our mind off the outside world." She looked down immediately. The outside world was a nice way to put the murders of all the muggle-borns, like Lily, that didn't have the protection of Hogwarts.

Unexpectedly, she felt a strong pair of arms wrap around her briefly. "I think it's a great idea Lilyflower," he smiled, "Maybe it could be a masquerade too!"

"That would be fun but what if the teachers don't approve."

James smiled that beautiful smile of his, "Here's the plan, you convince all the male teachers of the school and I'll tackle the females. Should be a breeze with our good looks and charm."

Any other time, Lily would have been annoyed at his egotistical manner but she couldn't bring herself too. He was obviously joking, and things were going so well. There was no need to ruin it so instead she beamed. "It's a plan. Whoever gets all approval first wins!" She laughed alongside James.

"We can add a Hogmeade day on the 27th too, four days before the ball. That way, people can buy their costumes and such."

"Good idea, we'll bring this up at the prefect meeting next week."

With that, the official meeting ended but that didn't stop the two new 'not enemies' to continue talking. Together they sat on the couch in front of the blazing fire, talking about anything and everything until almost midnight. From the hall outside, the ghosts floating by could hear the laughter of the two, blending together for the first time in years. It was a joyous sound.

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The new sun shone brightly into the girl's common room of the Gryffindor Tower. Jodie squinted and brought her blanket up to cover her face. The light was irritating her and she needed her sleep. Suddenly, the blanket was yanked out of her grasp. In an attempt to grab it back, she fell of her bed and landed with a thump onto the carpeted floor. This successfully woke her up.

With fuzzy eyes, she looked up to see Alice and Beth towering over her. Both were already dressed. Both were wearing t-shirts with slogans, but Alice had chosen shorts where as Beth had chosen to wear a miniskirt. _Damn those pretty girls, _she thought as she grudgingly pulled herself up, rubbing her aching back. She didn't need to be told to go get ready for this was the everyday morning ritual.

Ignoring her two roommates, she marched into the washroom and slammed the door. The girls outside chuckled. Alice went to grab a towel from the cupboard and Beth went to grab her friend's make up kit. In exactly 30 seconds, a head peeped out from behind the washroom door. Jodie grinned sheepishly and extended her hand. Both the towel and the kit were given to her as she disappeared behind the door once again.

Minutes later, the water started running and the humming began.

"Don't you DARE sing Jodie Williams!" shouted Alice with a laugh.

And for the next forty five minutes, all that could be heard was the sounds of loud off-tune singing and dramatic amused sighs.

"Finally," exclaimed Peter, who had jumped out of his seat at the sight of the three girls walking down the girls' staircase. Remus and Sirius stood as well.

"I think that was a new record Jo," sad Remus, "you only took 25 minutes in the shower this morning."

"How would you know Moony?" Sirius pointed out.

"Did you not hear the singing," said Remus with a laugh. Jodie coloured visibly.

The three boys headed out in front, chuckling under their breaths.

"Why didn't you tell me I sang that loud," whispered and angry Jodie.

"We did. You just never listened," replied Beth in an equally soft voice.

Jodie winced. "Oh." She mumbled dumbfounded and simply following the rest of the party out the door.

"Aw don't worry Jo, you weren't bad. I was just teasing," assured Remus once they had begun walking. He had fallen back so that it was only him and Jodie walking together.

"Who said I'm worrying," retorted Jodie with a confident voice.

"That's the Jodie I know," Remus encouraged. Jodie looked over and couldn't help but smile. Jodie loved Remus' company above all the other boys. His aura was contagious. When he smiled, even if it wasn't as pretty a smile as Sirius', it still made a girls stomach turn over. He was just that type of guy; charming, smart and kind.

Jodie shook her head and he looked over concerned. "You ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she replied. She looked over at Remus and thought of how many girls hearts he had captured. It wasn't many and that was expected. He was always quiet and shy. Many still didn't know that the Marauders would be nothing without him. The girls mostly thought he was just in their group to give them answers for homework. Jodie thought he looked quite handsome today, with his light brown hair shining in the some, making it appear a sort of sandy colour. His dark eyes were twinkling with happiness and his mouth was twisted up in a grin. _It was too bad he wasn't her type of guy, _Jodie thought, _he would make a great boyfriend for the girl he chose. _This wasn't the first time that that type of thought had entered her mind. It was just, she was the type of girl that wouldn't be able to commit. He was the type of guy that expected it.

During breakfast, Alice (who had left the group for her boyfriend) had been replaced by James and Lily. The seven of them spent the day outside, enjoying the last bit of warmth before many months of chilling weather. All around the school, laughs and smiles were shared as everyone was enjoying the day. To add to the excitement, notices of the Hogmeade trip planned for the following weekend had been approved and posted. The anticipation was palpable throughout all the older student permitted to go.

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Monday morning appeared too soon for the all of students of Hogwarts. The mood in the Great Hall that morning was anything but cheerful. Everyone was tired and mourning the loss of the weekend but by the end of breakfast, most began to become more awake.

For James, this generalization didn't apply. He was up bright and early that day. To him, it was another day to improve the relationship between him and Lily. It was another chance to get her to fall for him, one step closer to winning 60 galleons. Truth be told, he wasn't sure if it was the 60 galleons he wanted, or simply Lily Evans in his arms. It had taken him all summer to push her out of his thoughts and he didn't want to admit she was beginning to plague them once again.

Charms was the first class and he conveniently had that with Lily. For the most of class, he passed notes to Lily, who scowled in return, occasionally replying. She was too busy taking down notes, so after a while, he began to stare instead. With her in his thoughts, class was over in a breeze. Professor Flitwick's monotone lectures, for once, did not bother him at all.

Next he had Care of Magical Creatures with Professor Mantus. He was a funny teacher and the class itself was interesting. Especially since there were no notes to take and he had Sirius and Remus in his class. Today, they charmed the harmless plants to chase Gary Hincock around. He was a spoiled and cruel Ravenclaw who truly belonged in Slytherin. Apparently, charms is quite useful; James would have to remind himself to pay more attention in that class. The class had a good laugh seeing 'Haughty-not-hotty Hincock' being laughed at by the first years passing by.

To make the day even better, Lily had actually laughed at the prank when the three of them told at lunch. She hadn't scowled, or yelled, but laughed! The world was turning around. He felt like the king of the world but that didn't last long.

Soon after was Potions, in which the seven of them had together. Professor Slughorn wasn't a bad teacher, but James hated how he had favoured students. Lily and Snivellus included. He hated this class because he had it with the Slytherins. He also despised it because he wasn't very good at it.

For today's class, the teacher had instructed them to form partners and make the potion called 'Draught of Peace'. Its usage was to make the drinker feel calm, but if overdosed, it could put the drinker in irreversible sleep. Needless to say, most of the class had failed, with of course the exception of Snape, who had worked alone, and Lily who had worked with Beth today. Jodie had paired with Remus as usual.

Snape had been furious that Lily had been able to create such a difficult potion.

"Evans," he stated coldly once outside the classroom, safely out of the hearing range of the teacher James noticed. Snape's voice was emotionless save for anger and superiority. He was well known for treating Lily badly but Lily had always stood up for him. He was also well known for being the subject of many of the Marauder's pranks. They were the worst of enemies and even though James had once saved his life, that only made Snape more resentful. Severus Snape was a lonely boy, although he fully deserved it. Even fellow Slytherins did not like to be near him. He was mean and cowardly at times, although he was a genius in his own right.

His greasy black shoulder length hair looked like it hadn't been washed in months. The paleness of his face contrasted with his dark hating eyes. Perhaps some could call him handsome but it was doubtful. If one chose to look past the hair and the hatred, one would see a fair visage.

"Severus," Lily replied quietly as she turned around. "What do you want?"

"DON'T," Snape bellowed pointing his finger at Lily. At this point, the Marauders rushed to stand behind Lily. Once, they had made the mistake of standing in front of her to protect her and she had not taken it well to put it lightly. In fact, she had hexed the five of them, Snape included.

"Don't," he repeated in a deadly and threatening voice, "ever call me by my first name you mudblood. You'll taint it."

Lily's eyes began to water but she held the tears at bay. This did not escape Snape's notice though and he took advantage of this.

"That's right you filth. I don't even know why Dumbledore keeps your kind in here."

"You didn't seem to mind during the beginning of our years," breathed Lily sadly, but Snape heard. A flicker of sadness passed through his eyes but they disappeared just a quickly. He ignored the comment.

"Head Girl too!" Snape sneered. "Unbelievable, the old fool is insane. Who would listen to a mudblood as our leader? Their kind has dirtied our lines enough."

Lily couldn't take it anymore. He used to be her friend. He was her comfort when she had first discovered her powers. They had been friends once upon a time. What had happened to him!

James stepped in front of Lily, and shouted clearly, "I would."

This was followed by all Lily's friends but Lily did not hear this for she was already down the hall and gone.

Filled with anger, James whipped out his wand and muttered something, causing a jet of bluebell flames to set fire to Snape's clothes. With that, he turned and ran after Lily. Closely following him were Remus, Jodie and Beth. Sirius had stayed to finish with Snape.

The four of them split up and looked. Remus, being close to Lily, immediately went to the library. She would not have went back to the dorm since James would be able to find her easily and she would not have returned to the girls dorm since Jodie and Beth would find her. He doubted she knew of the Room of Requirement, so he went after his next best guess.

There was where he found a figure hunched over in the back corner, tears in her eyes, hugging herself tightly.

James on the other hand, was where Remus had expected James was – the Heads Room. After looking there, he went around each room on the second floor since the first floor was much to populated for a sad girl. When he finally found her, he had also found Remus hugging her. Not only that, Lily was clinging to him and that broke his heart although he didn't know it at the time. All he felt was the immense sadness rushing up to him.

He turned around and strode off. _So she liked Remus Lupin, _James thought scornfully. The idea that maybe she just needed someone, anyone, at that time didn't even cross his mind.

"Sh, Lily, sh," comforted Remus, "It will be alright." At this point, Remus felt his heart break as well for the girl in front of him. _Too bad she was his best friend's girl, _he thought sadly as he watched James walk away purposefully.


	10. Can't Escape the Irony

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: ****Sorry for the delay. ****Once again, please review. **

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"Hincock, get away from him." James pushed the seventh year away from the second year boy, placing himself in between.

"Potter, you're sticking up for a Slytherin now? You're really taking this Head boy thing too seriously. Now quit joking and step away."

"Slytherin or not, he's only a kid. Go pick on someone your own age." Behind him, James felt the little boy trembling. _Damn Hincock._

"I don't want to pull my wand out on a Head Potter."

"So don't and walk away," snorted James. "Oh, and 20 points from Ravenclaw."

A growl escaped from Gary Hincock's throat as he reached for his wand. Unfortunately for him, James' reflexes were much quicker. He wasn't the best chaser in the school for nothing.

"Expelliarmus!" shouted James as he watched his opponent's wand fly out of his grasp and into his own.

"Now it's 40 points from Ravenclaw. Should I keep going?"

Gary, who was now furious, lunged towards James. He was being humiliated in front of the Slytherin boy and he wasn't going to let James get away with it. Instinctively, James pushed him away and a fight ensued.

Punches were thrown, and James tackled Gary to the ground. Although James was strong and tall, Gary had the obvious advantage. He was big and powerful, menacing at first glance. Suddenly, a voice cut through the air and the two boys were pulled apart by imaginary strings.

There stood Lily Evans standing with her wand pointed at the two boys. "Potter, Hincock, break it up or I'm taking points from both houses."

Seeing two Heads together, Gary had no choice but to leave, sending glares towards the two Gryffindors and the Slytherin.

As Gary turned the corner, Lily let down her wand and kneeled to face the second year boy. "Do you need to go to Madame Pomfrey?"

The boy shook his head quickly. Nobody wanted to experience Madame Pomfrey's treatments if they weren,t necessary – no matter how useful they were.

"Go back to your dorm then, it's almost curfew."

Without needing to be told twice, the boy flew out of the hall and through the doors, heading to the entrance of the Slytherin dormitories.

"How about you James?" she asked. "James?"

"I'm fine," he answered shortly

Lily stepped closer to James and lifted her hand to caress his cheek. The touch sent James wild and he retreated backwards.

Shocked at his reaction and her actions, Lily lowered her hand and spoke, "It's going to bruise there."

"Not something I haven't experienced. I'll be fine."

"Oh ok," murmered Lily, but James never heard that for he had already left the room.

_What just happened? _asked Lily, as she too headed back to the dorm.

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Later that night, Lily had to patrol the corridors with James from eleven to one. Those two hours were unbearable. James barely spoke, save for one worded replies such as yes and no when she asked a question. And even that only occurred at the beginning. After a while, Lily had given up the pitiful attempts to maintain a conversation since James seemed to be trying so hard not to talk.

Nothing could be heard except the footsteps of the two young people. As a result, Lily used this time to reflect on the past few weeks since that fateful day where the incident between Snape and her occurred.

She found herself being drawn to James. As much as she hated to admit it, James really wasn't a bad person. Ever since she had opened her eyes to the possibility, she discovered many qualities about him that she had refused to accept before. He was a kind person that helped other often in the classes he excelled at, which were a fair amount. Although he did spend equally as much time playing pranks on people in those classes. He also stood up for others, like the Slytherin boy earlier today – like Lily the day when Snape had called her a mudblood. Lily had been watching the whole thing between James and Hincock today and she felt especially proud of him; it was, after all, a Slytherin he had protected. More and more little things brought James' qualities to Lily's attention and she couldn't ignore them.

She wished she could though, because that would make it easy for her to hate James. _You don't hate him, _a voice spoke in Lily's head.

_Well he certainly hates me, _Lily thought. While she was being drawn by James, James was pushing away from Lily. She had felt it, she had seen it, and she knew it. He seemed to avoid her all the time, only being with her when necessary. Whenever she talked to him, his answers were short and curt. There were only two words to describe his attitude towards her – cold and distant.

Oddly, she hated how he never paid attention to her anymore. There were no more charming smiles, or sweet good mornings. There was nothing, and she could hardly resent him for it. Wasn't it her that had constantly rejected him, pushed him away? A guy could only take so much she supposed, but that didn't comfort her one bit. In fact, it only dampened her spirits more. _What was happening to her? _thought Lily, _I don't care what James thinks about me. _All of a sudden, fear rippled through her, _I need to find Remus._

At the exact same time, thoughts were running through James' head as well. James was tired of being the desperate guy chasing after Lily Evans. He was tired of getting rejected and hurt. Still, he couldn't find himself getting tired of Lily. Why couldn't he get over her? He had tried distancing himself from her, not seeing her and not talking to her. It had worked before so why wasn't it working now. It had hurt so much to see his best friend's arms wrapped around the girl he loved while she cried into his shoulder. It should have been him.

Each time Lily had rejected him before, the little crack in his heart deepened a tiny bit. But the moment he saw her that day, his heart finally broke into two pieces. There was no denying it. _Fine Lily Evans, _he silently fumed,_ you found someone new. _Even saying that hurt.

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"Remus!"

The boy turned around to look at the girl shouting his name. He smiled. "Lily."

"I need to talk to you, it's urgent," she pleaded, looking at him with shining green eyes. Remus noted that today they seemed more of a darker colour than usual, which meant there was something troubling her.

"Alright, let's go to the library."

Together the two headed towards the school library while James watched from the corner of his eyes. He felt the fury rise inside him. He wasn't the only one watching.

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The two people sat at a table in a secluded corner of the library; one of the was Lily and the other, Remus.

"I think tha-that I miiiiighhhhhht," stammered Lily.

"Might?"

"Sort of have a li-little bit of feelings for.."

"For?"

Lily looked at him disbelievingly. He knew who she was talking about, it wasn't the first time they'd spoken about _him. _"Him."

"Who Lily?"

"Him!" said a frustrated Lily.

"Say his name Lils, it's not going to kill you."

"Oh yes it is," she muttered, "The whole girl population would kill me." Remus laughed out loud.

"Fine, James Potter. I might have feelings for James Potter." She found it soothing and disconcerting to say it out loud. It was soothing because it felt good to say it out loud; it made it more real. And it was disconcerting because she never thought she would feel this way.

Remus studied the girl in front of him closely. Her lovely emerald eyes were twinkling in anticipation, but he could also see fear hidden inside. She had captured her lower lip between her teeth in nervousness, a habit that she often demonstrated. He had always felt a connection between the two of them. He was the only one that could read her like an open book, but then again, he could read many people like an open book. He always knew he never would have the chance with her and he had accepted it a long time ago. Only, _now it's real, _he thought.

Pity was the feeling that had burst through his heart at that moment. She was fighting it, he knew. She had forever been fighting her feelings for James. Secretly sometimes, he wished he were in James' place. He would never have been as stupid as James, disregarding the many chances he had. But what a time for her to finally concede. James was in the process of forgetting her and abolishing her from his thoughts and she was in the process of filling her thoughts with him. He almost laughed at the irony. Almost. One quick look at the depressed girl in front of him stopped that laugh from escaping.

Finally, he spoke, "It's good that you're admitting it Lils."

"He hates me now doesn't he?"

Remus couldn't give an answer. No he didn't hate her, but he wasn't particularly fond of her at this moment at all.

"I knew it," she sighed. Lily got off the chair and sank into the plush pillow on the ground. Remus followed but chose the couch instead. Everything was quiet except for the cackling of the fire nearby. Remus was busy studying Lily while she was burying her head in her arms.

"Things will change Lily," he encouraged.

"Things already have Remus, don't you see?" She had a point there and both began losing themselves to the turmoil of thoughts in each of their heads.

Nearby in one corner, a boy sat on the ground, glaring at the two. He was too far away to hear but not too far away to see. And he definitely saw. James Potter was mad.

In another corner, a girl sat in a similar circumstance. She wasn't pleased either.

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"Jodie?" "Joddiiie?"

It had been like this all night. Jodie had been ignoring Lily blatantly.

"Beth, what have I done? Why is she mad at me?" whispered Lily to Beth.

"Don't ask me. I haven't a clue." Beth was bewildered as well. Ever since the first time she had seen the two girls, she had seen them argue only a few times. Probably less than the amount of fingers on her two hands put together.

"Come on Jo, at least talk to her," Beth tried.

"Yeah Jo, talk to me."

Jodie finally reacted and turned to the two girls, eyes shooting darts at Lily. "Fine." Truthfully, she didn't know how much more pleading she could take. Lily had always been the one she confided in the most.

"Are you," she paused, "or are you not going out with Remus?"

Surprised, Lily asked, "Remus Lupin?"

"No what other Remus do we know?" snapped Jodie.

Beth and Jodie both stared at the third girl, waiting for an answer.

"Of course not."

Jodie looked at her with disdain. "Come on, don't lie."

"Wait, is that what you're mad at me for?! Because you think I like Remus. Jodie, are you jealous?" Lily inquired with wide eyes.

_Was she jealous? _Jodie asked herself. "No. I'm not," she answered even though it didn't sound the least convincing to her own ears.

"Then why would you even care?" Beth reasoned.

_Why DO I care? _"I just can't believe Lily wouldn't tell us," lied Jodie. Okay, so she had been a little jealous.

"But I don't like him."

"Then explain the library today?" Jodie retorted.

"The library? Oh. You saw?"

"So you admit it."

"Well yeah, we were just talking."

"Right," said Jodie.

Beth thought that Jodie was being awfully weird. What did it matter if Remus and Lily were in the library together? _Unless…_she smiled. She looked over at Lily and caught the twitch in her lips. Apparently, she was thinking the same thing. She waited for Lily to glance at her before nodding her agreement.

"Jo, we were only just talking," Lily began, while getting up and grabbing the wrists of her two friends. She dragged them to a quieter, more private corner of the common room.

"Although I have to admit I'm guilty."

"See!" shouted Jodie now that they were alone.

"I'm guilty of telling him before I told you that I may like someone."

Both set of eyes snapped up at her, giving Lily full attention.

"Who's name is?" urged Beth and Jodie together.

Unexpectedly, gasps were heard throughout the room. The girls stared with jealously and the guys just simply stared. Lily, Jodie and Beth looked around before their eyes focused, with the rest of the Gryffindors, on the two people that had just entered the room hand in hand. There, in the middle of the room, was James and Lynne with their lips locked in a passionate, or so it seemed, kiss. Lynne, a beautiful long legged blonde haired girl, who was popular and pretty but also kind and generous. She was the type of girl you could never bring yourself to hate.

"Him," breathed Lily as a layer of tears covered her pain stricken eyes.

The two girls beside her gasped quietly and uttered, "James Potter?"

"Yes," choked Lily quietly, heartbreak clouding her voice as she fought not to let a single tear roll down her face.

"And this, is my girlfriend Lynn," announced James Potter, oblivious to the three girls in the back corner.


	11. Run Away

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: ****Sorry for the delay. ****Once again, please review. **

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"And this, is my girlfriend Lynn," announced James Potter.

The other three Marauders froze on the spot, confused. Sirius looked over at his best friend and the girl standing beside him. It was a girl named Lynne, whom he had dated in his fourth year. She hadn't been a nice girl back that, quite the opposite really, but surprisingly she had come back a changed person this year. Somehow, Sirius didn't feel too good about that.

Was it just him who found this announcement weird? He looked over at Peter, who was nodding pathetically at James, as if to tell people that James and him were friends. _Like they didn't know, _thought Sirius. Then he looked over at Remus, who seemed equally surprised as himself. But Remus' wasn't looking at James, rather, he was looking towards the back of the room.

His curiosity stirring, Sirius followed his friend's gaze. At first, he saw nothing unusual about the scene and he let his eyes linger on the dark haired girl looking at him with sad eyes. He promised himself never to cause her pain because he didn't think he could handle being the cause of those startlingly perturbing eyes. Then she glanced over to the red haired girl beside her, pointing Lily out to Sirius. He was dumbfounded at the sight his eyes met.

She was staring at the couple in the centre of the crowd with a look of pure anguish. Her devil coloured hair seemed duller than ever before, her usually happy eyes were anything but. Sirius may put himself up to be a fool but he definitely wasn't. He was sure Remus knew something about it too, seeing the look on his friend's face.

Certainly, Sirius never hated Lily, but he didn't like how she wouldn't go out with his lovesick friend. Or, his previously lovesick friend. _My lovesick friend that could never get over this girl,_ Sirius decided, _something's up. _Either way, she was still a good person and he didn't like seeing her hurt like this.

"Sirius!" yelled James, who was linked to his new girlfriend.

"Yeah?" he replied, walking towards the two.

"This is Lynne, Remus and Peter have already met her and went up."

_They had left already? _He quickly averted his gaze to the back of the room. As he had suspected, the three friends had left.

"Right, nice to meet you Lynne," he said sarcastically with a wink. Sure she was his best friend's girl but that didn't mean he would have to be nice.

She seemed uncomfortably Sirius noticed. "Nice to meet you too."

"James, can I talk to you for a bit?" Sirius didn't understand what was happening.

"Go ahead."

"Alone," he said, looking pointedly at Lynne.

"Right okay, you boys talk. I've got to go anyways," she announced, giving a quick kiss to James in the process. "I'll see you later James. And you too Sirius."

Once she was gone, Sirius pulled James up into his dorm. "What's going on?"

James knew this was going to happen, and he had prepared himself for it too. "Get Moony and Wormtail in the room too, I don't want to have to go through this three times."

While Sirius ran off to find the other two, James thought to himself. _What am I really doing? _He didn't know but he just knew this would be his last try. Plus, it made him feel better.

He continued when they were all together. "I like Lynne guys and I hope you'll be nice to her."

"But that's not why you're dating her," Remus correctly pointed out.

"No, it's only the partial reason. I haven't forgotten our bet boys, and I don't plan to lose."

The answer popped into Sirius' mind. "You're going to make Lily jealous!"

"That's genius," remarked Peter.

"That's mean," stated Remus. It would really hurt her and James was oblivious to it all.

"She's mean," scoffed James thinking about the scene with Lily buried face in his friend's shoulder..

"I think it might work," commented Sirius, "She seemed really sad that when you announced Lynne was your girlfriend just now." He wasn't sure if he should say it, but he couldn't quite hold it in.

"She's probably just outraged that I could have a girlfriend. She seriously thinks it's all about her."

"No it was definitely sa –" but Sirius stopped talking seeing the glare on Remus' face.

Thank god James let it go. "Whatever. I have to go back to the Head's dorm or Miss Priss will go and give me a detention."

"Right, bye Prongs," they all said.

As James walked back to his room, he wondered if Lily really was sad because of him. He didn't think it would impact her much, but then again he couldn't be too sure anymore. For the past two weeks he had barely seen her, which was applaudable since they lived together. Yesterday, when she had touched him, he nearly lost all his resolve to ignore her. Now his wall was rebuilt and stronger than ever.

He slipped into the common room and found it empty. Lily was back though, since he could hear little noises from her room. They sounded staggeringly similar to sobs but he resolved that he was probably hearing things. He walked to his room.

Lily heard the door slam shut from across the other side of the room. James was back. She quickly choked down her sobs and buried her face into the pillows, allowing the soft music from her stereo wash over her.

She knew she had no right to be sad. She had no claim over him, not anymore. When he liked her, she'd been a fool and now it had turned around to get her. Had it hurt like this two years ago? It had been so long she couldn't remember exactly. She should have known. _Damn Potter for making me like him, _cursed Lily bitterly. At least there was Hogsmeade next weekend to look forward to.

She needed to talk to Remus, she suddenly realized.

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The week flew by without cause and the day of the Hogsmeade trip soon came. There was nothing unusual about it, unless you counted his best friend kissing in every hall at every possible moment. And the fact that his eyes couldn't seem to part with the dark haired girl with violet eyes.

He seemed to notice more about her now. For example, he noticed that she always put her hair in a loose bun, and looked great with it too. Her voice was soft and caressing, and her eyes were playful and teasing. He loved it when she smiled, because it was full of love and the smile lit her eyes up more. But when they looked a grayish tint, and he could live a hundred lives without seeing those eyes, they conveyed pure angst and sadness and that tore through him worse than a thousand knives. Thankfully, he rarely saw that with this girl.

"Sirius!" There it was, that enchanting voice.

He whirled around to face Beth, smiling the smile that made her melt, although he didn't know it. "Pleasure to see you milady."

She exultantly mocked a curtsy and fluttered her dark long eyelashes. "My prince." Inwardly, she dreamed he really was her prince.

He offered his arm to her and she took it gracefully, all the while laughing merrily. Following behind were Lily and Jodie. James had gone ahead with Lynne, much to Lily's disappointment but she hid it well. Remus was unfortunately sick, Sirius had said, and Peter was staying with him.

Instead, she put all her mind into the two in front of her. Beth must be floating on air right now, she thought amusedly. She shared that thought with Jodie, who agreed heartily.

Finally, after the long trek, they arrived in front of the Three Broomsticks. They entered and quickly claimed the last free table.

"School's been going by really fast," commented Beth, starting up the conversation. Lily barely participated, choosing to concentrate on her Butterbeer instead. She didn't hear the conversation go from school to girls to school to the outside, and finally on James Potter.

"Lils?" nudged Jodie.

"Right what? Sorry I wasn't listening," Lily apologized, not seeing the worried glances of her two best friends.

"We were just talking about James and Lynne over there," Sirius said, pointing to the couple sitting in a dark corner of the pub. Sirius regarded Lily's reaction. He noticed her shocked look, her terrified glance and her stuttered response. This was definitely not the Lily he knew. It seemed like James was right.

He looked over at the two as well. It definitely didn't seem like James was acting noted Sirius.

"I think I'm going to catch some fresh air," mumbled Lily, bringing Sirius' attention back to her.

He was about to follow her when Jodie stood and told him she'd go and he could stay with Beth. There was no arguing with that logic. And so, he spent the rest of the day with Beth, laughing and chatting until the evening sun danced on the horizon.

Lily felt like she was suffocating the moment she saw James and Lynne, laughing and snuggling with each other. It disgusted her. She was afraid if she didn't leave that room, she would go up to them and tell them to get a room.

Suddenly, an arm looped though her own, and she smiled. "I'm fine Jo."

Jodie's smile disappeared, and she said seriously, "Are you sure?"

"Lily Evans doesn't lose her heart," pointed out Lily. Suddenly, she felt like running, running away from this horrible nightmare where she liked James Potter and he didn't like her.

"I'm here for you Lils," comforted Jodie.

Seeing as there was no way to convince her friend she truly was fine, she conceded. "Thanks."

"No problem, now lets go shopping." Lily had to laugh at that.

"Alright, Madame Randella's here we come!" shouted Lily, pumping her fists in the air.

About an hour later, Lily and Jodie came out of the clothing shop with a bag each. After a bit of walking, Lily realized that Jodie was no longer by her side. Frantically, she looked back, and found Jodie talking to one of the Hufflepuff seventh year boys.

Lily sighed. That was Jodie for you.

She signaled thumbs up to Jodie, and continued walking. She decided to let Jodie have her fun, and besides, the fake cheeriness was slowly fizzing away.

She wondered what to do now. Beth and Sirius were together and she wasn't about to ruin that. Jodie was with her new acquaintance. Alice was with Frank. Everywhere she looked, people were together, happy and loving.

Lily was getting sick of it all and so she did what she longed to do. She shrank her package and tucked it in her pocket and took off. Sprinting to nowhere in particular, just away.


	12. You've Changed

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Please review. **

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**Dear Diary,**

**This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening. **

**It is so happening.**

**I can't do this anymore, what am I going to do? I feel like I'm the little fourth year fool, falling blindly in love with a stupid boy again. But I'm not because I've learned my lesson. I refuse to put my heart on the line again. It only brings me pain.**

**It's so hard though.**

**It's worth it. Heartbreak would hurt more. Like the day when he came and announced his girlfriend to the world. If I wasn't so busy trying not to cry, I would have got up and hexed him until he was crying back to his parents. I will not cry though. I will not love. **

**But that doesn't mean I can't hurt.**

**This is so confusing.**

**Lily**

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"Jamesie.." whined the lovely girl in front of him.

He couldn't help but smile. Things were going great, in fact, better than great. Lynne was wonderful, if not a little clingy, and she was an excellent kisser. Lily seemed quite put off with the fact that he had Lynne and that made me even happier. Maybe it was a little too wishful but he hoped that Lily was jealous. She honestly should be.

"Fine, I'll take you on my broom tonight."

"Tonight? But the curfew," smirked Lynne.

"Who's going to be reinforcing that curfew?" he winked.

"How about that Evans girl?" He chose to ignore the way she said Lily's name.

"I'll take care of that."

Sensing the new found tension, she changed tactics.

"So what will we be doing late at night, on a broom…together…with beautiful scenery?" she teased.

He pulled her into the nearest empty room and eased her gently against the wall. She instantly wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him closer. He braced himself against the wall with his hands on either side of her head.

James leaned down so that his mouth was millimeters away from hers.

"This," he breathed.

Then, he lowered his mouth onto hers.

Suddenly the door swung open with Sirius and Lily on the other side. The expression on their faces told all.

_This is a little too real, _Sirius noticed with a somber expression on his face.

"Uh..." stammered Lily, "Sorry to disturb." She said this whilst keeping her eyes glued to the ground, her flaming hair successfully covering her features.

James looked up at the girl in the entrance and he felt his heart flutter. Still, he suppressed the feeling and wrapped his arm around his girlfriend, letting it rest on her waist.

"No problem," he put lightly.

"We'll walk with you and Lynne to her class, and then we can all walk together to defense against the dark arts."

"Sure Padfoot, let's go then."

Lily, Sirius and James walked out together, with James' arm still wrapped around Lynne's waist. Lynne glanced sideways and sending a smirk to Lily.

"I did so bad on that test," Beth claimed the moment she walked out of the room.

"Me too," chimed Lily.

"Shut up both of you, I have it the worst alright? I should get Remus to tutor me."

"Remus eh? Funny because I thought James and Sirius was at the top of the class," remarked Lily coolly.

Jodie sent them a glare and steered the conversation in another direction.

"Anyone asked you guys to the Halloween Ball yet?"

Both Beth and Lily nodded shortly.

"Well, who?" insisted Jodie, enjoying the moment of torture she was imposing on her friends.

"Yeah who?" asked Sirius as he squeezed himself between Lily and Beth.

"Michael Randal and Lucas Green from Ravenclaw, Jake Parsons from Gryffindor and Henry Morrison from Hufflepuff," said Lily quietly.

"Did you say yes to any?" Beth asked as if reading Jodie's mind.

"No."

"That's a lot of people, and it's only Thursday now. There still...7 days until the ball," Sirius blurted out astonished.

Beth shoved his head and replied, "That's because before, everyone was scared of James, but now that he has a girlfriend…" She trailed off.

"Yeah so anyways, how about you Beth?" inquired Lily. She was trying not to let the awkwardness sink in.

"Oh yeah, a few people."

Jodie snorted, "I highly doubt it was a few."

"How many?" Remus asked, catching up to the rest of them.

Beth stuck out her hand and lifted five fingers. "Now how about you Jo?"

"Just one, I'm thinking of going stag you know?" She responded without a hint of embarrassment.

"I'm in with you on that." Lily was thinking about going alone as well.

"Wait, Beth, did you agree to anyone yet?" asked an intrigued, and slightly worried Sirius. He hadn't planned on asking her but maybe that was because he thought she would go alone like every other year. Apparently, all those other years, she had chosen to go alone.

"Nope," at the look Jodie was giving her, she added, "not yet at least."

Lily asked, "How about you guys?"

"No one yet." At that, Beth looked up to see a smile plastered on Sirius' face.

"Remus?"

"Vivian Bennet," he answered.

Sirius gave Remus a high five, since Remus rarely ever asked anyone to dances. The rest of the group was silent.

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"Remus, I need to talk to you," stated Sirius all of a sudden on the way back from the last class of the day.

"Speak away my friend."

Sirius could have explained his situation and story to Remus but decided against it. Knowing Remus, he probably would have guessed the circumstances already. Therefore, he put in bluntly, "I want to ask Beth to the ball."

Surprisingly, Remus was taken aback by this. His footsteps halted and he pulled Sirius to the side of the corridor. "You like Beth?"

"I guess."

"Are you serious?"

Sirius laughed, "Why of course I am. Seven years of being friends and you don't know my name?"

"I'm serious!"

"No I am!"

"This is getting old, Sirius, listen. If you really like her that's fine but..."

James, who had stopped to listen, continued for Remus, "But she's not like all your other girls Padfoot. You can't just toss her aside, it would ruin the friendship."

"You think I don't know that? If I didn't, I wouldn't be asking you."

"Well, it's just the ball," said Remus giving Sirius a smack on the back. "I say, go for it."

"Yeah Sirius, just don't break her heart." James and Remus both could tell Beth really cared for their friend.

"Hey guys, you know how we thought nobody ever asked her to dances and stuff?" Sirius prodded.

"No Padfoot, that was just you, we always knew many people asked her," interrupted James.

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Yeaahhh."

"Okay then, well thanks."

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_Tap, tap._

Beth awoke to the sounds of tapping against the window of her shared dormitory. She rubbed her eyes and let them slowly adjust to the darkness.

_Tap, tap._

_What's that noise? _thought Beth. She climbed out of bed, stumbling on a few loose items on the ground. Finally, she made her way to the window and looked outside.

Suddenly, a rock flew right into her face, hitting the glass between her and the outside.

_I'm in a tower, thousands of feet off the ground._

She opened the window carefully, watching for any more flying rocks and peeked her head outside. There, she saw the one and only boy of her dreams, Sirius Black, hovering under on his broom.

"Sirius!" she whispered urgently, "What ARE you doing?!"

Sirius awkwardly brushed his dark hair out of his eyes and blushed. "Fancy, ah, meeting you here." Beth found the act cute.

"Yeah, fancy that. Be right back alright?" Beth walked back into the room and wrapped a blanket around herself. The night air was rather chilly and her pajamas were a little thin.

"So…" Beth found herself saying. _Can't come up with anything better to say can you, stupid._

"Okay I admit it, I didn't just happen to stumble across your window at the exact time rocks seemed to be flying towards it," Sirius smirked, regaining his composure. He felt foolish on a broom in the middle of the night outside a girl's window.

"Hey! One of those nearly hit me in the face," exclaimed Beth quietly. She had to be careful not to wake Jodie up.

"I brought you something." Sirius produced a purple rose from behind his back and flew closer towards her. "It reminded me of your eyes."

_Breathe, Beth, breathe. _"Thanks." She smiled brightly, looking at him at eye level. His grey eyes captured her. They eyes that could be as cold as steel if he was mad but now, no now, they were as warm as fire. Slowly, she began to lean in as did Sirius.

As they were about to connect, Sirius pulled back. _You can't hurt her remember? _He probably already did, looking at the utter confusion sketched in her features.

"Would you like to go to the Halloween ball with me?" he whispered into her ear.

She smiled once again, completely forgetting the previous moment. "Of course," she breathed back.

He flew away from the window, "Good!" he said. "Goodnight Beth."

With that, he grew smaller and smaller as he flew further and further.

"Good night," she whispered into the cool air. Yet her body was tingling with warmth. She wasn't going to get a wink of sleep tonight.

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The three girls, Lily, Beth and Jodie, were sitting on the floor with they work spread out over a low table in the Gryffindor common room.

"It's Friday night and we're doing homework. This is pathetic," complained Lily, the usually compliant one.

"Well, we want a free weekend for Hogsmeade, and besides," Beth paused to sigh, "we have nothing to do."

"Why are we like…the only ones here?" questioned an irritated Jodie. They were the only ones in the room save for some first and second years and a few older couples.

"Because we're sad and boyfriendless," Lily declared waving her hand in the general direction of the snuggling pairs.

The three collectively sighed and returned to putting their quills on paper, pumping out essays for their respective classes.

"Stay away from Jamesie, Evans." The voice of an angry girl brought them away from their work. Lily looked up to find Lynne towering over her, her face red and her hands pointing accusingly.

"I'm not near your _Jamesie,_" Lily pointed out, rolling her eyes at her friends. She wanted to throw up every time she heard the words Jamesie.

"Seriously Evans, James is mine now so back off. Mudblood, steer clear of him," she shouted. A scene was beginning to occur but Lily didn't care.

She rose and glowered at the blonde girl in front of her. Her hair was the devil's colour and she had a temper to match it. Unluckily for Lynne, it had been suppressed lately for _her Jamesie._

Unbeknownst to her, the Marauders had just stepped into the common room. "There's no need for me to stay away because he's doing a damn good job of that anyways. He wasn't yours in the first place and you have no right yelling at me. And just to make it clear, I won't **back off, **in fact, I'll do just the opposite if I want," she yelled. And then with a menacing stare, she continued oblivious to the fuming James nearby, "By the way, don't you **ever **call me names again, you got it. I'm sick and tired off all you people!"

James walked into view and stepped in front of Lynne, surprising the girls who had seen the conflict. His mouth was pursed and his usually warm hazel eyes were hard a cold, filled with loath. Lily could see this clearly.

"You're the one that has no right. You have no right yelling at Lynne like this. She would never do anything to hurt anyone, even if they deserve it. **Never," **she spat.

Lynne hid further behind James, as if scared of Lily. The girls were utterly disgusted, and so were those who had seen the whole thing. Unfortunately, the Marauders hadn't.

"You've really changed, I don't know what I saw in you in the first place," he bellowed, unaware of Lily's trembling. He lowered his voice to a deadly whisper, "And by the way, I **am **hers."

Lily couldn't speak, she couldn't move. _Don't cry, _she chided herself. She opened her mouth to speak but the lump in her throat burned and she choked out a sob, tears pouring out of her eyes. She whispered weakly like a fragile child, "I changed? No, you did James. You really are hers."

She ran out of the room and into a lonely hall. And then she cracked and let the tears run freely.

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**Note: Btw, I know Lily's having a hard time these chapters and it will last a while longer but if you guys think it's too much, tell me and I can always adapt my plans. :) **

**Thanks for the many reviews, especially sarena678 and thestralwhisperer, it's encouraging.**


	13. Just like in Fairy Tales

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Please review. **

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"Go with the one on the right."

"Don't listen to her Lils, pick the one on the left," insisted Beth, looking at the two dresses held up for inspection.

Lily sighed and dropped her tired arms, "How about neither and I just won't go, you guys can't seem to agree on anything."

The three of them had been looking through various costumes for the Halloween ball for the past 2 hours. At least Jodie had already found a costume; a skin tight black suit accompanied with ears and a tail. She still needed to get a mask to complete her black cat outfit.

The night would begin at 5, where everyone who wanted to would attend a formal dinner costume-less with their dates. The official masquerade ball would begin at 8, and for that, nobody could have partners. Secretly, Lily was excited about the ball since no one would have dates. The dinner was out of the question. She wasn't interested in having her lack of love life panned out for herself to see.

"You can't not go Lily! You promised! We're supposed to go together," complained Jodie, who had walked over to the next row.

Lily had momentarily forgotten that. Lily gave up, conceding that she would have to attend the dinner then. She couldn't leave Jodie going alone.

"Fine. At least not all three of us are dateless. Who are you going with again Beth?"

Beth looked up shyly and confessed, "Sirius."

"Mmh – WAIT. SIRIUS?!" screamed Jodie, rushing back to the two of them.

Lily smiled as Beth nodded; at least something was going well.

"Seriously?" Jodie asked, also smiling now.

"Seriously."

"About time," commented Jodie as she calmly strode back to the racks of clothing. No one would have been able to tell it was her who was screaming just a second ago.

Minutes of silence later, Jodie was yet again screaming, earning glares from the shopkeeper. "Beth! Beth! I found your perfect dress!"

She picked up a strapless, empire-waist, pale-pink dress that reached the floor. The top layer of the many folds of the dress was made of pink mesh, where as the second was made of white silk. The upper part of the dress was pink silk and scrunched up between the breasts. The dress flowed freely from beneath this point.

"It's beautiful," gasped Beth.

"You can be a princess!" announced Jodie, who placed the gown into Beth's arms and forced her into the change room.

"Like in a fairytale," whispered Lily, "with all those happy endings."

Abruptly, she turned back towards the racks and flipped through costume after costume rapidly, blinking back the lump in her throat. Taking her cue, Jodie also returned to looking for a costume.

The silence engulfed the once again, but this time, it wasn't a comfortable silence for Lily. It was broken by Beth who cleared her voice behind them.

Both Lily and Jodie turned to see their best friends, looking spectacular in the form enhancing dress. Her neckline seemed longer and her eyes were more noticeable because of the colour of the dress.

"Definitely."

"No question about it."

"Are you sure? It's sort of…strapless," put Beth lightly as she raised one hand to her bare shoulder. She looked at Lily for back up.

"It's fine Beth, really. You look absolutely gorgeous. Don't worry," encouraged Lily, who reached for a pair of white gloves and a white mask on the counter nearby. "Put these on."

The mask covered Beth's eyes, and fit magically on her face. "What do you think?"

"Perfect," declared Jodie with determination; there was no way she was going to let Beth talk her way out of this dress.

Lily spoke the deciding words, "I think that Sirius is going to drop dead if he knows this is you."

The three of them smiled and parted ways, Beth to remove the gown and the other two to continue looking.

"How about this one Lily?"

"No, red on me makes me look like tomato," Lily responded bluntly. If they were forcing her to go to this event, she wasn't going to make it easy for them.

"You've had something to say about every costume we've picked out for you, come on!" complained Jodie, who was growing impatient.

Lily was about the make a retort when she spotted a white dress in the middle of the her rack. She walked over to it and let the soft fabric flow between her fingers. It was a halter cocktail dress made of pure white material. There was a thing ribbon of green wrapped around the waistline and the top and bottom were trimmed with wavy green mesh. _I could be an angel with this costume, _thought Lily silently in her head.   
But before she could drop the beautiful dress back into the rows of clothes, Beth had snatched it from her hands.

"It's perfect Lils!" exclaimed the mixed girl, "And you definitely won't look like a tomato, or a pumpkin, or a vegetable with this." She was referring to all the comment Lily had made about previous dresses.

"What's this I hear? Have we found a dress finally?" Jodie asked, striding towards them. "You better be trying this on Evans."

Lily resented the fact that Beth had her puppy dog eyes placed on her face or she would have rejected the idea. Instead, she grudgingly mumbled, "Fine."

Inside the change room, Lily slowly slipped the dress over her head an tied the stings at the nape of her neck. Slowly and unwillingly, she stepped out of the room and into open attack from the many mirrors around. She had to admit it was a pretty dress. The dress hugged her every curve, from her flat stomach to her chest and bottom. From there, it reached outwards in a slight bell form. The white contrasted with her red hair, and the green highlights from her dress complimented her emerald eyes.

"Stop staring at me," she demanded in a falsely angered tone.

"You better get used to it, because that's what everyone's going to be doing 3 nights from now," said Jodie evenly. That was Jodie for you, bold and blunt.

Beth shook her head and smiled her famous smile, "You look great Lils, now all we have to do is get the shoes and masks."

Lily couldn't help but smile at her two best friends. "Thanks," she whispered before she walked back into the change room.

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"Watch it!" shouted Jodie, who had been roughly pushed out of the way by a few other girls desperate to find costumes.

"This is crazy," Lily put forth, grimacing as someone ran by her foot.

The three girls pushed their way into the three broomsticks and began walking to a free table in the back.

"Three butterbeers please," ordered Beth as they walked by the bar. "Over there."

Jodie, Beth, and Lily dumped the many bags onto the table and fell into the soft comfortable chairs. "Ahhh," they all moaned as they rested.

Lily was the first to speak. "I don't get how this is such a big deal. All the girls have been worked up about dates for the past week. I mean, it's only dinner where you can have a date anyways."

"Apparently, the rest of the girls don't have a rational mind," Jodie declared.

"Speaking of mind, when have you ever gone stag to a dance?" inquired Lily, who opened her eyes briefly to see Sirius creep up behind Beth who had closed eyes. He quickly motioned for her to keep silent. Lily let her lids fall back down as she sank deeper into the chair.

"Felt like doing something new I guess? Who knows?" Jodie replied shortly, watching Sirius from the corner of her eye.

"AH! SIRIUS!" screamed Beth, jumping up at the pressure of the poke registered on her. Sirius laughed from behind, raising his hands in surrender.

Sirius caught the smile that appeared on Lily's face, her eyes still remaining closed. He was pretty sure Lily didn't just yell at Lynne for no reason. From his experience, Lynne never used to be a sweet and endearing girl anyways. No one changes that quick. He had to admit Lily was a strong girl and he felt slightly guilty for making a bet about her; abet which his best friend had probably already forgotten about.

"Where are you're friends?" questioned Beth.

He saw Lily wince slightly at that comment. It bothers her, he realized. He turned around and watched Remus escort Peter and James to a table far away. _Remus must have noticed this too, _thought Sirius.

"Not here," he answered simply.

He continued, "So, how about I meet you in the common room at five Beth? For Halloween I mean." He grinned sheepishly hoping no one would notice his mistake. No such luck.

Lily grinned from her position and spoke, not bothering to open her eyes, "Getting a little tongue-tied are we?"

Sirius ignored her, instead putting his attention on the reddening girl in front of him. "So?"

"Oh, yeah sure."

"Alright, bye then."

"Bye," Beth replied, watching Sirius retreating back, hoping he would glance back. No such luck for her either.

Once he had left, Jodie asked, "Are you guys a couple now?"

"Nope," responded Beth, taking a sip from her drink which had appeared at their table.

"Dating?" asked Lily, who struggled to sit up properly.

"Nope," Beth replied once again, "Just a date."

Lily and Jodie couldn't bear to remind Beth that to him, it may really be 'just a date'. Her grin was just too innocent to ruin.

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Monday and Tuesday of that week passed in a blur. The teachers had declared Wednesday be free of classes since everyone seemed too caught up in the excitement to be paying attention. Even Remus seemed to be letting loose, if only a bit.

He arrived to the library not to borrow books for once, but to simply return them. Upon arriving there, he saw Lily sitting by the fire, curled up with a book. He couldn't help but let the smile play on his lips. Lily Evans was a beautiful girl.

"Hey Lils," greeted Remus as he walked towards her. Even if he didn't want to bear the knowledge of Lily's hurt feelings, he felt it was his duty as James' best friend to mend the damage done.

"There's no need speaking good words for him Remus," Lily responded without letting her eyes stray from the book.

"But.."

"Maybe I just misread his actions," Lily said softly, as if considering the idea for the first time herself. "Nevertheless, I'm fine."

"Lil…"

"No, I really am. It's probably just a passing infatuation, one that I will get over soon. No hurt feelings here Remus, so you don't need to worry about me."

"I'm so…"

"Actually, I don't want to hear it. James isn't sorry, that I know for sure, so actually, I don't want to hear him apologize."

"He…"

"It hurt so much last night; I just don't want to remember it anymore. I wish I could go back to hating him again."

"Sometimes I…"

"Do you believe me Remus? Or do you believe Lynne?"

Remus decided to remain quiet, thinking that Lily would just interrupt again but she didn't. After a while he slowly began, "So I can talk now right?"

Lily smiled weakly and nodded.

"I believe you," he said truthfully, and he did. Lily couldn't hurt a fly and she would never yell without the other person deserving it. James was a fool.

"Thanks," she said before getting up and returning the book to it's place. He looked at her questioningly and she shrugged.

"It's almost four," she pointed out, "Jodie and I have to help Beth get ready."

Then she added, "Sirius better not be just fooling around with her Remus, you know how she feels."

Remus nodded and left as well; he needed to make sure Sirius was for real this time.


	14. Halloween Dinner

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Please review. **

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The large oak doors of the great hall opened to reveal a sophisticated, dimly lit environment. The usual four long tables had been replaced with hundreds of smaller tables, most for two people, but many fitting four and six as well. The two person tables had candles in between, where as the bigger tables contained either pumpkins or purring black cats sleeping peacefully. In the background, faint cackling noises of a person could be heard. The ghosts were floating around, carrying magic trays that were ready to conjure any food desired for the students seated.

One by one, the students entered. Sirius was dressed in a black suit jacket over a light blue and white striped shirt and dark blue jeans. Beth had a spaghetti strapped silky white dress on, that ended slightly above her knees. It had a blue ribbon wrapped around her waist. Sirius offered his arm to Beth, and she gladly took it. He led them to a seat near the back, away from the rest of their friends. Her white wedge heels made her taller, but Sirius was still almost a head taller than her. Beth was surprised when Sirius pulled out her chair for her. She shyly sat, and nearly jumped when Sirius whispered softly in her ear. "Have I told you you look beautiful tonight?"

He smiled as she tensed beneath his hand on her shoulder. He felt her relax before turning around to answer. Then it was he who tensed.

Their lips were merely centimeters apart.

_Don't play with her Sirius, she doesn't deserve to be hurt, _spoke a voice in his head that sounded awfully similar to his friend Remus'.

He felt a rising sensation as he grunted softly and stepped away to take his own place. _Damn Remus. Damn conscience. What a time to get one._

He took his own seat and smiled painfully to his date, who looked thoroughly bewildered. She looked so cute and pretty, he wasn't lying when he had said she was beautiful. He never thought Beth could look any prettier than she usual did, but he was obviously mistaken.

"Do I have something on my face?" She struggled to come up with something to say to cover the awkwardness she felt settling upon them.

"No you're perfect," Sirius let slip before he mentally corrected himself. _She __**looks **__perfect. Looks._

"Thanks, you look great too."

Nearly-Headless Nick interrupted them at that moment, "Drinks for the lady?"

"Pumpkin juice please," Beth said and smiled politely at the Gryffindor ghost.

Her dazzling smiled made Sirius smile as well. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so content with only looking at his date being happy. "Pumpkin juice for me as well," he ordered.

"Mr. Black," the ghost began, but Sirius interrupted him.

"How do you know my name?!" asked a mockingly surprised Sirius.

"Everyone at this school knows your name," Beth interjected, "now let Nick continue."

"Thank you Ms. Taylor. Now Mr. Black, I don't believe anyone has asked for you order," the ghost teased.

"Please?" asked Sirius, "and a cookie too, I'm getting pretty hungry."

"Not a chance Sirius, after that prank you and Potter pulled on my last week."

Beth gasped while giggling, and Sirius pretended to lower his head in shame. Then after a few moments, he perked up again and begged once more.

"Sir, can I have two pumpkin juices please? And perhaps a small plate of cookies as well?" Beth asked deciding to help her date out; her date and her crush.

The ghost looked pointedly at Sirius, and Sirius swore he was telling him not to hurt Beth as well. _Why does everyone think I'll hurt her?_

"Very well," and with that, the ordered items appeared onto the tray. The ghost lifted them off and placed them on the table. "I'll come back later for your entrees."

Beth picked up a cookie, and Sirius followed her lead. She nibbled on it nervously, and Sirius, who had been on enough dates to notice these actions, saw it quickly. He put his hand over her other hand which was lying on the table.

Beth was surprised to say the least. Should she pull away or should she not? Suddenly, all sense rushed into her head and the weightlessness of being asked out by Sirius Black came crashing down on her. She gathered all her courage up and decided to take a risk. She pulled away.

"Sirius," she started, waiting for him to shift his gaze from his empty hand that had momentarily held hers to her face. "Why did you really ask me to this?"

"What?"

"I mean, why me out of all the other girls?"

He honestly didn't know how to answer. Half of his was elated that she had cared about the reason behind his actions; that she wasn't just going because it was with a Marauder. Then the other half of him was terrified because he had never been asked this question before. None of the other girls had ever bothered to ask.

She waited patiently for him to answer. Beth didn't mind and wasn't exactly terrified of his answer. She figured he had never been asked this question before so he was probably gathering his thoughts. And besides, if he didn't like her, they could still be friends like they had always been since first year. She would always love him.

Sirius looked up to see Beth smiling encouragingly and his heart swarmed with an unknown feeling. He decided to tell the truth.

"I don't know," he said simply as he watched Beth try to hide her disappointment. "I'm sorry," he added quickly.

"It's alright," she sighed as Sir Nicholas reappeared before them. She saw a chance to change the topic, "I'll have the lasagna."

"I'll have the steak," Sirius said before emphasizing, "please."

The food then appeared just as the snacks had and the ghost soon left them to their silence. There was no avoiding it this time, the awkwardness surrounded them.

"It just felt right."

"What?" questioned Beth, tearing her eyes away from her chicken.

Sirius stopped poking at his steak with the fork and set it down. "Asking you I mean. It just felt right."

Beth thought she should have felt angry that it had been purely impulsive. She thought that she should have felt even more disappointed, or heartbroken even, but she didn't. Not at all. In fact, it was the opposite.

The smile reappeared on her face as she answered, "I bet all your other dates don't ask you stupid questions like that."

Seeing her smile, Sirius realized he had answered correctly and the tension evaporated as fast as it had settled. The rest of the dinner was spent with laughter and teasing; and of course that swarming in both their hearts. The difference was Beth knew what the feeling was: love.

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On the other side of the hall, closer to the rest of his friends, James and Lynne sat together. Lynne was a great girl in James' opinion and he didn't understand why his friends seemed to have a problem with her. They kept an easy flow of conversation at their table, and a steady flow of quick kisses as well. On one of these occasions when he leaned over, he caught sight of a ponytail he could recognize anywhere.

His mind wandered to when he and Lily had been on the Hogwarts train at the beginning of the year, and when he had still been devastatingly and definitely pathetically in love with her. He had convinced himself to stop the moment she had made it clear that she had no intentions of returning the feelings on the train. The red ponytail that he had loved so much still hadn't changed.

Green looked good on her he realized, although he had known that long before. She wore a baby doll light green dress that ended mid-calf. Black lace could be seen from the top and the bottom edges, along with the thing black designs on the bottom of the dress. She wore black pumps that made her thin legs look longer than ever. All in all, she looked good.

During this whole while, he had missed Lynne's smirks to the girls behind him.

When his eyes returned to his girlfriend, dressed in a tight red dress that barely covered her bottom, he couldn't help but compare the two. He also couldn't have seen Lily's despairing expression when he leaned in to kiss his 'fake' girlfriend.

His not-so-fake girlfriend after all.

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After dinner, the girls, along with Alice, were in Lily's room preparing for the dance. They had one hour, which was barely enough time. Many of the other girls had even left dinner early to prepare.

"I still can't believe you get your own bathroom," whined Alice upon seeing that Lily didn't have to share with anyone.

"Be grateful Alice, since I'm sharing it with you guys," replied Lily, who was running a comb through her wet hair. A groan escaped her lips as the brush came in contact with a tangle. "Long hair sucks," she declared.

In the meantime, Beth was in the shower and Alice and Jodie were struggling with their respective costumes. Alice was going as a glorified version of the fairytale character 'Little Red Riding Hood'; she had discovered this character through a story that Lily had read to her in first year. At that time, Alice had been crying in bed because one of the older kids had made fun of her awkward figure and the fact that she cried easily. Lily had comforted her with the storybook her mother had given to her. Now she looked at the girl in the white dress with poofy red plaid skirt that had a bottom trim of white lace and black corset around the waist. Lily couldn't believe the difference 6 years had made. Alice had blossomed mostly out of her awkward figure, and she was the one protecting Lily when needed. Jodie and Alice definitely had more in common with each other than Beth and Lily.

Beth emerged from the bathroom with wrapped in a robe with her hair dried and curly. She walked over to pick up her dress, only to return to a locked door.

"Lily!" she yelled.

"Emergency!" Lily squealed from behind the door. Beth rolled her eyes at her friends' outright lie.

"Hogwarts has definitely got to get more washrooms," announced Jodie from the bed. She was facing a mirror which was hovering at her eye level, as she pulled a straightening iron through her hair.

Beth sighed and sat beside her friend, easing the iron out of her grip. Beth ran the iron through her friend's hair while she waited for the washroom.

"Can you help me fix the hood? It's inside out," asked Alice walking towards the two. Jodie carefully reached out and pulled the hood from beneath the cloak. "Thanks." She waved her wand and her blonde hair began to form two perfect braids.

Jodie ran a hand through her own hair, feeling the warmth of where the iron had passed. "Alright, your hair's done," said Beth, who flipped the iron off. There was no need for electricity when you had magic.

Jodie stood up and flipped her now pin-straight hair. "Perfect," she declared, smiling at her reflection. She wasn't lying. The straight hair added with her even bangs made the cat suit look even sexier. The suit wasn't too revealing, but it wasn't shy either.

"Lily! Jodie and Alice are almost done!" shouted Beth, facing the closed bathroom door.

A muffled voice replied, "Just take the closet! I'm changing!"

Sighing, Beth resignedly carried her dress into the closet to change. On the way, she mumbled, "If it's like this here, what's it like in the dorm?"

Even if she wasn't really a mean person, she had to smile at the mental picture conjured in her head. Lynne and the rest of the Gryffindor girls were running around screaming and yelling, fighting each other for the hairdryer and the washrooms.

When she finally fitted herself into the dress, she found Lily already sitting with her hair dried. Her natural curls appearing smoother and more controlled than usual after shower moments. "Combed before I dried," said Lily, noticing Beth's interest in her hair.

Alice asked Lily how she wanted to do her hair while Jodie asked the same of Beth. Then, silence followed as Alice and Jodie worked diligently to finish the other two girl's up-dos. Lily was finished first. She had her hair pulled into large sections braided until just before the back of her head. Then they were clipped down, and the hair fell loosely behind her. Many loose tendrils were curled and framed her thing face. Lastly, two thin braids were pulled from the back of her head and across her forehead before being pinned on the other side, creating a double headband of hair. This natural look fit perfectly with her nature coloured dress.

Beth was finished shortly after. Her dark hair was put into a loose French twist that left her curled hair hanging over her left shoulder. She grabbed a pink flower and placed it into the twist, finishing up the look.

Finally the girls went onto make up. Jodie created a dramatic smoky-eye look, and created magical whiskers on her nose. Alice only used natural colours, but added extra blush to make her cheeks rosy. Beth kept her make up little as well, adding a gray eye shadow to intensify her pure look. Lastly, Lily used a light green on her eyes and white eyeliner instead of gray though.

The girls looked at each other and nodded approvingly, pretending with all their might to be calm. In the end, they couldn't help but giggle. Tonight, they all thought separately, they were going to have fun, no matter what. Besides, it was a masquerade after all; anything could happen.

Putting on their masks, the girls stepped out of the room and began down the stairs.

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**Note: Can anyone tell me, was it Sir Nicolas? Or Sir Nicholas? I can't quite remember the spelling of Nearly-headless Nick. Thanks.**

**Hope you guys like it!:)**


	15. Cinderella

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: The last paragraph is edited.**

**To thestralwhisperer: that was my original intention, about James being the cinderella, but i couldn't really get the wording right without calling him cinderella(a little weird) but now i think it's better. **

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She swayed back and forth to the music, letting the movement erase all thoughts from her head. She felt beautiful tonight, separated from her duties, her responsibilities, her labels. She felt free and happy. Her hair flew gracefully as she twirled around and back into the open arms of a masked young man. From the corner of her eye, she saw a girl in pink dance with a boy dressed like the one holding herself. Another man dressed similarly to the two mentioned was talking to a girl in a sleek black costume. _Why would you talk at a dance like this? _she wondered.

The man pulled her in closer to his body, their chests touching and their breaths mingling. She didn't object, rather, she let herself give into the dance. After all, no one would know. All thoughts evaporated from her mind.

She looked into his warm twinkling eyes to find they were obviously altered to a different colour. It was only natural for her to try and figure out who this mysterious person was. He had found her early in the dance and they had been dancing and talking since. Now, it was well into the night.

"Come on, let's take a walk," suggested the male voice. He grabbed her hand and she felt a familiar tingle rush through her. He pulled her quickly out to the outer grounds of the castle, but not so quick that she would trip on her heels.

Once outside, she shivered against her will as the blistering October winds hit her. She wrapped her arms around herself in a fetal attempt to warm up until she felt a coat being placed delicately around her shoulders. Lily looked up to the person beside her and smiled gratefully.

She wrapped the jacket around her closer and fell into step with the man.

"What are you supposed to be?" she asked him, as she analyzed his costume.

"Four musketeers or something. Si – my friend came up with it," he answered hoping she wouldn't catch his mistake.

She didn't.

Chuckling softly, she replied, "It's the three musketeers, not the four musketeers. No wonder you have three other boys dressed exactly like you."

"Oh? I wouldn't know. And yes, that's why the others are dressed like me."

"So you don't come from a muggle family then," Lily immediately deduced out loud, her emerald orbs darkening in colour as she thought.

"Don't try to figure out who I am," he said.

"Why not? We could play the game 20 questions, and try to figure out who each other is," she suggested, nudging him to play along.

_I know who you are, _he thought silently, _but you can't know who I am. _This was one night for him to be who he wanted to be. There was no one looking at him, no friends, no girlfriends, no judgements. And tonight, just for tonight, he wanted to feel the presence of Lily beside him. He wanted to know her better, and tonight was just the night to do it. It wasn't as if he had planned it. The moment he had walked into the great hall, glimmering and shining with music all around, he had seen that devil coloured hair. No one else had anything like it and at that moment, all his previous walls had crumbled. Just for one night, he would let himself experience the guilty pleasure. One look at those pouting lips and wide eyes beside him made his little resolve disappear. _It couldn't hurt. _

He paused for a long time before replying, "Sure, but let's make it 10"

She made a little jump of excitement before realizing what she was doing. A laugh escaped his lips, and she giggled along as well. "I'll go first," he declared.

"Do you live around muggles?" Realizing his question may have sounded demeaning he added, "since you know about the three musketeers and stuff. Most people looked confused when we mentioned who we were supposed to be."

"I do."

By now, the two of them had stopped walking. They were nearing the herbology area, and the plants were patches of green peaking out of the snow. Magical plants.

He looked at the girl in front of him. "What are you supposed to be?"

She hesitated, looking as though she would run away from him for a while, before answering, "An angel. Angel of the nature." She gestured to the plants surrounding her.

The coat of his over her shoulders seemed large and overbearing, reaching midway down her thigh. It was wrapped tightly around her, so only a bit of her white dress showed through. Her hair was blowing wildly in the wind, and her cheeks were glowing healthily, red from the harsh winds. Her lips were full and here eyes were twinkling with happiness. The scene would make anyone fall for her.

"Are you in seventh year?"

"Yes, that was three questions in a row." Lily replied holding out three of her fingers. "Are you in seventh year?"

"Yes." _A boy in seventh year._

"Are you a Slytherin?" he asked casually as he thought in his head, _better not let her know that I know who she is._

She smiled and looked at him. He was a Gryffindor, she just knew it. "Nope, and neither are you, am I right?"

"Yes. My turn now."

Lily immediately protested, "Wait, that wasn't what I meant!"

"But wasn't it a question?" he reasoned with a smirk on his face.

That smirked was wiped off once he had realized what he had done. Apparently, she had realized it too. "Yes it was. And so was that! So it's my turn," she declared triumphantly.

"Do you play quidditch," she asked, adding two more fingers to the previous three. The question could possible narrow the Gryffindor population to less than 20.

He had no choice but to admit it. "Yes, I do."

She should have known, looking at his well built body. Even beneath the clothes, it was clearly defined. Suddenly a thought flew into her head: _it's James. _She didn't want to believe it, because then, she knew they had no chance.

"Were you ever a prefect?" he asked with a smile that seemed to be daring her to lie and say no.

Lily Evans doesn't like to lie. "Yes."

She had to figure out if this was James. "Is Sirius Black your friend?"

_She's catching on, _James realized immediately. He underestimated the intelligence of Lily. He answered carefully, revealing nothing. "Everyone is Sirius Black's friend, so yes I guess."

That didn't help Lily at all, so she waited for her next turn.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" He couldn't stop himself from wondering. _She does James, it's Remus, _he reminded himself.

The answer surprised him, but the way she answered it surprised him more. She had said no, with no emotion at all save for a slight tint of resignation.

"You know who I am don't you?" she wondered out loud. "No wait! That wasn–"

"Too late Lily. That was your question and this is my answer."

"It's the damn hair isn't it," she laughed easily, "it always is."

He found he loved hearing her laugh. He hadn't realized it before, but she had hardly ever laughed around him. It was more sighing.

"I'll have to admit it was at first, you have the devil's hair Lily. It's always going to get you in trouble." He had to add the 'Lily' into the line since this was probably the only time he could ever use it.

She noticed it too, and found she liked how her name rolled of his tongue easily.

"Then," she asked quietly, "Do **I** know **you**?"

His smile disappeared and a cold look replaced it. _Did Lily know him? No, because she never gave me the chance. _The walls that had crumbled slowly began to rebuild itself. No more would she hurt him.

"You know of me, but I don't think you really know me," he answered, "so no."

"Is that what you think?" she asked. It can't be him!

"Yes," he replied in the same cold distant voice that she had heard to often in the past month. "You have one more question left."

From the clock tower far away, a loud chime could be heard. It was a quarter to midnight, fifteen minutes from revealing time. _Has it really been that long? _thought James with irritation.

"I have to go now, sorry." He couldn't let Lily know it was him. It would hurt him, and probably her as well.

Without another word, James ran back into the great hall, back to the music and the crowds of people. He ran back to the other James, the one that he had created to push himself away from Lily.

Lily stood outside and watched him run back. "Are you James?" she whispered her last question to no one in particular, letting the wind carry her words away. "Are you really him?"

The clock struck midnight in the distance, and her mask disappeared. But she had no one to reveal herself to anymore. Lily was left standing alone in the dark wrapped in the remainder of what seemed like a dream. If the prince in Cinderella could win the princesses' heart, so could she. _Besides, all fairy tales have a happy ending, _Lily thought, _and mine won't be any different._

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**Note: I'm not sure if I should keep this chapter, so if you people want, I might redo it. Depends on what you think I guess.**


	16. Remus Lupin

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: The last chapter was based on Cinderella Story. :) I didn't mention it before, sorry. Please review. **

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Jodie sighed as she caught sight of her expression while passing a glass cabinet. "I look like a mess."

"I look just as bad," Lily pointed out. She ran her hand through her hair in an attempt to tame it a bit.

"The only one that doesn't is Beth here. How does she do it?" Jodie asked Lily, "We went to bed at 2 together last night right Lils?"

"I probably shouldn't have slept over last night. Then I would have gotten some actual sleep. I have to patrol the late shift tonight too," complained Lily as she gave up and put her hands back into her robe. It seemed as though the temperature had taken a drastic drop just after Halloween night.

"Quit complaining guys, you both look fine. We have to hurry to class now," sad Beth in a sing-song voice.

"What's she so happy about?" mumbled Lily as she jogged to keep up with her friend.

Jodie answered with the same grumpy mood, "Beats me."

Just as the three girls turned the corners, they collided into the chests of three young men.

"Can't keep you hands off me eh?" laughed Sirius as he extended his arm to help Beth up. Remus and Peter did similarly for Jodie and Lily.

"Sorry," exclaimed Jodie as a blush stole her pale skin. When did Jodie ever blush?

Remus nodded shortly, and then turned his attention to Lily. "Are you okay Lils?"

"Yeah, but are you? You look pale Remus." This comment caught both Sirius and Peters' attentions; it was almost that time of the month.

Remus merely nodded shortly again. He was never too talkative during this time, and hoped the nod would satisfy the curious and worry-filled glances.

They began walking to the classroom together and Lily tried her hardest not to notice that James wasn't with them. She had a vague idea who he might be with.

As she began immersed in her own thoughts, her pace began to slow down. Remus saw this and slowed himself down as well, falling in step with Lily and letting Jodie and Peter walk together. Sirius and Beth were at the front. Even if the rest of them disappeared, they probably would not have noticed for another half hour.

Jodie looked behind to see Remus and Lily chatting amiably. "Do you think they like each other?"

Peter turned also, and watched the two carefully. Remus was doing most of the talking, while Lily seemed to not really pay attention. In all honesty, Peter wasn't a fool. Peter had long known that Remus had a thing for Lily, or at least, he had long felt that. He never would say it to anyone though, because that would cause a rift in the gang of Marauders. Without the Marauders, Peter was nothing. Remus would still be the top of the class, James would still be the school heartthrob, and Sirius would still be the charming golden boy. Peter would still be nothing.

"Nah, I don't think so." He concluded, looking briefly at the two once more before stepping into the classroom and taking his regular seat at the back.

"Right," she told herself walking to her own seat. She felt her heart sink a little as she saw Lily whisper something into Remus' ear.

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"I need to talk to you after class," she whispered to Remus before taking her seat between her two best friends. She had contemplated discussing her ideas with Beth and Jodie, but Beth was probably going to be busy with Sirius, and Jodie hadn't been too close to her lately. Lily would have to investigate why later on, but now, she had her own problems to deal with.

The voice of the professor silenced the loud class. Everyone had been talking excitedly about the previous night. "Please turn you books to page 344. Today we will be taking notes on Sanguins and Werewolves. I expect a 10-inch essay on either on of them for next class. It should include how they relate to transfiguration."

A harmony of groans filled the classroom.

"It's the day after Halloween though, professor!" a squeaky voice reasoned from the back of the class.

"Which means, Mr. Pettigrew," replied Professor McGonagall, "that there should be no more excuse to slack off in class like you lot have been doing for the past few days. You may begin now."

_Sanguins, _Lily began on her piece of parchment.

_Bloodthirsty creatures that roam the lands on every moonless night. Similarly to werewolves, they look like normal witches or wizards normally. The moon is what keeps them binded—_

She suddenly paused in her writing, and set her quill down.

"Jo," she whispered quietly, pretending to be reading her book.

Her friend stopped writing as well and Lily knew she had her attention. "I'm going to be friends with James Potter."

The tip of Jodie's quill snapped in half, causing many eyes to turn towards the girls.

"Whoops," said Jodie out loud, while magically repairing her writing tool. She added quietly so that only Beth and Lily could hear. "What?"

"I'm going to be friends with James," Lily repeated. The confidence in the idea she had earlier was beginning to become frustrated. She looked hopefully at her two friends. "What? Haven't you always been telling me to do that?"

Beth was the one to speak what she and Jodie had been thinking. "After what he's said?"

"He was just angry."

"He had no right," snorted Jodie.

Lily looked at James who was laughing joyously at the prank they had just pulled on an unfortunate and unsuspecting victim. "What if he apologizes?" she asked.

"I think it's a good idea," said Beth while finished the sentence on her page. "Sirius said James felt extremely guilty about saying those things."

"Sirius says." Jodie rolled her eyes, "Beth baby, you are in too deep."

As the conversation began to change course, Lily returned to her notes.

–_Both Sanguins and Werewolves only attack humans. They do not affect animals or other creatures. Werewolves, unlike Sanguins, escape from human binds on every full moon…_

The period passed quickly enough, and once the bell rang, she began to pick up her things.

Lily was one of the last to leave the class, along with James and Lynne. She was secretly glad that she didn't have to see James in her next class, although she did have Lynne in it. Why a girl like her would want to take herbology, Lily still couldn't figure out.

She slowly made her way outdoors, wrapping her red and yellow scarf around her neck tighter. Thankfully, she had enough sense to put her hair into a ponytail that morning.

As she neared the greenhouse, memories of the previous night surrounded her. Where James and she talked, where they laughed, where they teased – she even remembered exactly where he had left her. His suit jacket was back in her dorm at this moment, and she didn't plan on returning it. Obviously he had no intention of admitting it was him anyways.

"Lils, you have to bury the plant in deeper."

She looked over at Frank, Alice's boyfriend, and smiled. "Right, I'm sorry."

"No problem, so how did you like the Halloween event last night?"

"It was," Lily paused, trying to look for a flaw in the evening. She only found one, and she wasn't about to mention it. Lily continued, "surprisingly good, in fact, it was mostly perfect. I don't even have to ask about yours."

Frank smiled at Lily; smiled not smirked. He was an incredibly guy and Alice was really lucky. "Yeah, it was great," he admitted.

"What happened to a masquerade Frankie? It's supposed to be anonymous," teased Lily.

"I heard about the James thing Lils," he replied back, completely changing the topic. For some reason, this annoyed Lily. She had been on the way to 5 minutes without him in her head. She remained silent and glared at her friend instead.

"Lily, he's not a bad guy," Frank started.

"I know," she replied simply, but apparently, Frank passed it off as a protest.

"He would never say those things intentionally, it was probably just his anger speaking. You know how he's liked you for a long time, I just think he was…wait. You know?"

"Yeah, I know." Lily looked at Frank with a smile. "It's really okay, he was just protecting…her." She gestured vaguely to the group of girls behind them.

Frank was happy to see Lily like this, but he couldn't help but be a little suspicious.

"Oh Frank, don't look at me like that. Everyone has been doing that recently. I'm sick of it," Lily snapped.

_That's more like it, _Frank thought. He had begun to think the spark ready for igniting had died out.

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The eight of them, or nine really, had Defense against the Dark Arts together that afternoon. These nine included: Lily, Jodie, Beth, Alice, Frank, Sirius, Remus, Peter, James and last but not least, Lynne.

Unfortunately, they had that class with the Slytherins, and it was often a constant battle between the two houses. Immediately after the class ended, Lily hurriedly followed Remus to a quiet corner where they couldn't be overheard.

"Remus?" Lily questioned, her confusion showing in her eyes. Lily was the one who was supposed to need to talk to Remus.

"I have something to say."

"Oh," Lily answered, "Okay." She waited patiently for her friend to continue. He seemed to be stuttering, so she was worried. Remus Lupin, the perfectly articulate boy, never stuttered.

Remus watched as Lily looked at him worriedly. Thoughts were whirling through his mind. _Should he say it? Should he not?_

He bit his lip, pondering the question over.

"Lily, I…I l-like.." Realization dawned on Lily's face, but it wasn't the expression Remus wanted. It was the reaction he expected though.

He looked at her affectionately and realized he couldn't burden her further. In fact, Remus was quite aware that she had told him to meet her so she could discuss James. _James, you're BEST friend, _he reminded himself. _James the fool who doesn't know what he has. _

"I'm just joking around Lils," he amended, trying to cover all hints of sadness in his voice. Lily wasn't stupid, and he was sure she knew what he felt now, but he would still hope she didn't.

"Oh..Ohhhh." Lily did know how he felt, but couldn't bring herself to confront it. _Remus and me? _Lily thought. Instead, she chose the cowardly way out. "Stop fooling around Remus!"

He forced a smile onto his face, although he was pretty sure it turned out as more of a grimace. "What did you want to talk about?"

Lily falters. She couldn't speak to him about James now.

"I want to help you Lily," Remus said as if reading her mind. It was his way of saying, _you won't hurt me. _

She sighed. "I think I should be friends with him."

"Good idea," Remus said. "It'd be a step you know, instead of purely avoiding him."

_Last night wouldn't really be called avoiding would it? _thought Lily. "Yeah, that's what I thought too."

Remus pulled Lily into a tight embrace and he whispered into her hair, "I just want you to be happy. I'm sorry." He tried his hardest to hold himself together.

Lily buried herself into him, "Remus." She sighed, she didn't know what else to say. "Thank you. I'm the one who's sorry."

Remus nodded and let Lily go. Seeing as she could do nothing here, she walked to the great hall for dinner after making Remus promise to go after.

"But I really do love you Lily," he breathed into the abandoned hall. He knew she wouldn't love him back, it was purely something he had to get out of his system.


	17. My Spot

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Please review. **

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Footsteps echoed through the abandoned halls on the rare November afternoon with sunshine. Most of the students had left the school grounds for Hogsmeade. The younger years, who were not old enough to participate in these trips, were outside enjoying the crisp, cool air. Jodie wasn't at the homely village with her friends. Instead, she was walking aimlessly through the upper hallways, barely registering where she was going.

Unknowingly, she walked right into another person.

"I'm sorry," she managed to choke out, keenly aware of the person's arm around her waist. It was definitely a strong boy she collided into.

She looked up into such blue coloured eyes that she thought she could drown in. She gulped. They looked exactly like Remus' expressive eyes.

The boy, noticing that he was holding Jodie, set her up straight but didn't release his arm. "I'm Jeremy."

_Jeremy..Jeremy, _thought Jodie in her head. She was frantically trying to remember who he was. The boy seemed to sense this, and helpfully added, "Seventh year, Hufflepuff."

Jodie smiled and replied, "Jeremy Burt, in my muggle studies class! I'm—"

"Jodie Williams," he interrupted deliberately, smiling as well. His eyes twinkled, and his smile made the dimples on his face appear. His curly brown hair shone in the sunlight peeking into the hallway.

_If his hair was blonde and not as curly, he would look like Remus, _mused Jodie. The mental picture of him made her smile. She imagined it was him standing with her, with his hand around her waist. This reminded her of the lingering hand on her waist.  
Unconsciously, she stepped away from his hold. She continued conversation to not appear rude, although she wished she were anywhere but with him. Jeremy Burt was a flirt, as big a one as Jodie, which should have suited her, except she didn't feel up to it. Something was bothering her.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"I saw you walking here, so I followed because you didn't look too well," he answered with a wink. _Liar, _she thought.

She tried her best to keep the conversation neutral. "I was just thinking," she said.

He raised one of his perfect eyebrows. "About me?"

This was absurd and Jodie had to laugh out loud. How is it that she wasn't enjoying this flirtatious banter? A month ago, she would have participated. Now, she wasn't so sure this was what she wanted.

"About lunch," she countered. She felt the need to join in, "Care to have lunch with me?"

"That's the Jodie we all know," he replied nodding. He extended his arm but Jodie ignored it. Lunch was one thing, this was not a date.

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"Lily, what did you want?" asked James as he stood to get all of them drinks. The pub was very busy and no one seemed to be coming by with their orders.

"Butterbeer please," she replied cheerfully.

Lynne gave her a discreet glare, but Lily couldn't care less. She was just happy to have her friends around her, and take a break from all the work the teachers had been unleashing on them.

James left and the conversation continued.

"I just don't get how the teachers have enough time to grade all this work in the first place," Beth said as she fumed about her muggle study project. "I bet they don't even mark it; they just want us to work."

"Don't you love how they assign essays due on the same day? I swear they group together at those meetings and plan all the days in advance. Take the twenty-sixth for example. We have three essays due!" complained Sirius loudly.

"That's this Thursday I hope you know," Lily pointed out, watching the reaction on the four faces in front of her. Lynne had walked off the moment James had left, not that it had bothered any of them.

Peter rolled his eyes at his friend, "Cut it out Sirius, we all know you can finish in 10 minutes and still pass." Under his breath he continued, "If only he had the common sense to go with that half a brain."

"That's true," affirmed Sirius, oblivious to the insult.

"Then why am I here?!" exclaimed Beth, throwing her hands up into the air dramatically. "I have to go finish!"

Seeing the look on Sirius' face, she continued, "and no, it's not because I want to see you." Ever since the Halloween ball, Beth and Sirius had spent an immense amount of time together. She wished he would ask her out, but over the years, she had learned that hope only brought her a bigger disappointment. It was truly better sometimes, not to hope for anything.

"God, if you two don't stop flirting, I'm going to be sick," said Lily, pretending to gag, and then giggling.

"And your not like that with James?" whispered Beth beside her.

James chose that moment to appear behind them, "Did I hear my name?" he teased.

"Nope," smiled Lily innocently, looking at him with big green eyes. Her smile turned into a hundred-watt grin as she remembered how they had become friends once again.

It had happened when she and James went patrolling the night after Remus had admitted his feelings for her. Of course, to this day, she pretends to not know what he had been talking about.

_The hall was silent, except for the footsteps of the two Heads. To Lily, this silence was unbearable. Every minute was agony, to know that he had been the masked man the night before, but more importantly, to know that he didn't want to admit it. She wondered if he was mad at her maybe, or else why would he be so silent._

_Suddenly, she stopped walking, and closed her eyes. She heard the footsteps stop too. "James," she said simply._

_She waited for a reply, or at least some sort of acknowledgement before continuing._

_"Yes," snapped James impatiently. Why did she have to talk to him? Didn't she know he was trying to ignore her, to erase the memory of last night from his mind so it couldn't torment him anymore? He didn't know why it did anyways, she was his enemy of heart, Lily Evans. She was the girl who had rejected him countless times, humiliated him, and yelled at him. She was the girl he hated right? So why was she haunting his every second of the day._

_"I'm…really sorry."_

_"What?" replied James, genuinely confused. He turned around to see Lily with her eyes focused intently on something outside._

_"I'm sorry for being mean to you," she repeated, "and to Lynne." So she was lying a bit, she wasn't the least bit sorry about the Lynne incident. Lily just couldn't stand the silence she was getting from James. She used to be okay with it, believing him to be indifferent, but not after last night._

_Inside, James' heart melted. Lily was a girl with her pride and was famous for it. He softened his voice, "You shouldn't be sorry Ev—Lil-Evans, I should." She looked so hopeless and sad. He knew she was trying to avoid his eyes, so he purposely turned her to face him._

_"I'm sorry," he reiterated, "I mean it."_

_"I know," replied Lily, and she wasn't lying. She could see it in his eyes; his charming soulful hazel eyes that she loved. "I forgive you." _Besides, _she thought, _he really was only protecting his girlfriend. It was the right thing to do, _she guessed._

_James nodded, unsure of what to say. Where was the Lily that would bite her own head off before ever forgiving him?_

_He felt a breeze beside him, and noticed that it was because of Lily walking off. She continued walking without looking back at him, but she could here his footsteps following her. For the rest of the night, it was still silent, but now, it was a lot more comfortable._

_Lily didn't notice, because all she knew was that he was sorry and he truly meant it._

Lily snapped out of her reverie and listened in on the conversation flowing around her. On her one side, James was busy talking to Lynne. Resentment briefly flooded Lily, but she pushed it out. On her other side, Beth was talking to Sirius and Peter.

She heard Beth ask where Remus was.

"He doesn't feel too well," answered Sirius vaguely. Lily noticed Peter seemed a little uncomfortable about this and Sirius was looking pointedly at James.

James seemed to notice too, because he nodded to show that he had understood. Understood what, Beth and Lily weren't too sure about. Lily just knew something was going on here.

"That furry little problem again," sighed James before turning back to his previous conversation.

Sirius changed the topic, "Where's Jodie?"

Beth looked at Lily before answering, "She didn't feel like coming today."

"When does Jodie not feel like coming to Hogsmeade with her many dates?" asked Sirius incredulously.

The girls exchanged worried expressions. "Exactly."

"We're going to go to the spot now," said James after a moment of silence. He and Lynne stood up, retrieving their cloaks.

Sirius sipped his drink before wagging his brows, "The spot eh?"

James only glared. "Bye Lily, bye Beth."

"Bye," the two girls chimed.

After a while, Lily noticed that Beth kept sending her pleading looks. She sighed resignedly. "I suppose you two want to go too?"

Beth and Sirius nodded sheepishly, "I was going to show her around the outskirts of Hogsmeade."

"You've never shown **me** that," Lily pointed out, sticking out her tongue at the two.

"I would offer, but I didn't think you would want to go," replied Sirius, "Would you like to go?"

Lily laughed. "No, I would rather finish up the essays, and besides, I'd be sick watching the two of you."

Beth scowled, "You've already finished your homework."

"Whatever, I guess I'll just spend my day with Peter then," shrugged Lily, ushering the two out of the pub. "Go, go, but be careful, it's dangerous nowadays."

"Yes mother," said Sirius rolling his eyes.

"Don't say that!" hissed Lily suddenly angry. She hated when people called her mother, it reminded her of her own cold mother. She would never be like that.

Beth nudged Sirius and pulled him away, knowing this was a touchy subject for Lily. She smiled at her best friend gratefully before disappearing from view.

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"Close your eyes," said Sirius as he led her away from the many homes in Hogsmeade village. Apparently, Sirius knew many of the families that lived there, and they all loved him.

"I don't want to," whined Beth, "Where are you taking me?"

"Beth," he growled softly with a smile to show he was only teasing, "Trust me."

She closed her eyes because she really did trust him.

"Don't peek, or else," he warned. He grabbed her hand and led her through the street and onto a snow path. Without hesitation, he put his arm under the bend of her knee and her waist, lifting her up off the ground.

"Ah," she screamed, "What are you doing?!"

"It's dangerous and slippery here," he answered with fair reasoning, "You'd slip if you don't look where you're going."

She nodded and fought the urge to wrap her arms around his neck. The inner battle was lost once he pretended to drop her.

She flung her arms around him and buried her head in the crook of his neck, "Don't drop me please," she pleaded.

"Never," was the reply in a husky voice.

Beth felt like she was in heaven, and she savored the moment the best she could. Who knew if she would ever get the chance to be this close to him again?

Sirius looked down at the girl in his arms and smiled. He hugged her closer and continued his trek.

"We're almost there," he said after a while.

"Are we?" she asked. He thought she sounded a little disappointed.

"Okay, I'm going to let you stand now? Ready?" he asked before putting her down.

He took her hand and guided her a few steps through the thin layer of snow before he covered her closed eyes. "Open your eyes now," he said.

She did, and waited for him to release his hands. When he did, she gasped. They were at the edge of a pond, almost completely surrounded with endless trees and mountains. Sunlight lit the area from above, and the snow sparkled on the ground. There were even flowers peeking through the ground, flowers that Beth had never seen before. They constantly changed colour depending on the amount so sunlight they received. It lit the area up with splashes of colour and life.

Beside her, Beth found a picnic blanket, with a basket on top. Sirius, who was still holding her hand, led her to the blanket and urged her to sit down. She complied and immediately peeked into the basket.

"Hey!" laughed Sirius as he closed the lid on the basket. "It's supposed to be a surprise!"

"You mean there's more" asked Beth with wide eyes. Her immediate reaction was to hug him.

"I hope you have plenty more of those to give," he said, "and maybe a few kisses too."

Beth rolled her eyes but silently answered that she did; and endless amount.

"I thought, you know, we could have lunch out here, although if you would rather eat with a table and chairs indoors, we could go back," he began uncertainly

"Here," Beth said immediately, "It's beautiful, I can't imagine what it would be like in summer."

"I'll take you here in summer, I promise."

Beth nodded gratefully and continued, "How did you find this place?"

_While running around as a dog with a werewolf, _said Sirius silently. "Stumbled upon it really," he answered instead; he was being truthful. "This is my spot."

Suddenly, Beth remembered that James had mentioned his own spot. _Does James have a spot too? _she wondered. Sirius nodded as if reading her mind. "James has his spot, actually, each of us have a certain spot." Remus' was the shrieking shack, not really somewhere for refuge, but it was his spot nonetheless and Peter had his place somewhere in the forest.

He continued, "We never tell people where out spot is, or show other our spot. I don't even know where Peter's is actually." _I wonder why he would never show us, _Sirius suddenly thought.

"But you're showing me," Beth pointed out quietly, as if scared he would take her away once she told him that.

"We only show the important people in our lives," he answered while taking her in. The wind whipped her hair around, and her violet eyes seemed gray now. Her small nose led to her slightly parted pink lips that Sirius longed to possess.

"Lynne is that important to James?" she asked, completely missing the point. Sirius could have groaned in frustration.

"I would hope not, but it seems so." He decided to try a different tactic. "I made the lunch."

That got her attention. "Sirius made lunch?! And to think I thought Sirius only ate, how sweet," she teased.

He handed her a sandwich and a drink from the basket. "There's dessert later."

Together they laughed and ate lunch, fully enjoying each other's company. Beth continuously tried to peek into the basket to see what the dessert was, but Sirius had made sure to stop her every time.

"Come on," begged Beth, pouting.

"You're so cute," Sirius said, noticing her blush madly, "especially when you blush."

Although her Asian roots usually hid her blushes, this time, the colour was evident. She looked away from him in an attempt to take the colour off her cheeks.

When she looked back, she notice a plate of chocolate chip cookies in front of her and a small tub of rocky road Ben and Jerry's ice-cream.

"You remembered!" she blurted out uncontrollably. She had once told him she loved to take her cookies and dip them into her favourite ice-cream to eat. 'It was the best thing in the world,' she had said.

"I did!" he said, mocking her enthusiastic voice.

"And it's a muggle brand," she noticed, "my favourite."

He grinned and nodded, "Dig in."

Immediately she took a cookie and ripped it into smaller pieces, pulling them through the ice-cream. "Here," she said, lifting a piece to Sirius' mouth.

"No, that looks so weird," he said holding his nose childishly, "I eat my cookies and ice-cream separately." To prove his point, he took a spoon and scooped some ice-cream out of the container and stuck it in his mouth. "Mmm."

"Just try it," insisted Beth, while eating her own, "You'll love it, I promise."

"Nope," he said, wiping some ice-cream off his fingers on her nose. She took this chance to stick the piece of cookie into his mouth.

"Ha!" she exclaimed, wiping her nose clean. "How is it?"

Sirius smiled, and admitted to himself it was incredibly good, but he wouldn't give her satisfaction that easily. "Horrible."

She wiped some of the ice-cream that had dripped on the blanket and rubbed it on his nose. "If it's so horrible, then stop eating it. More for me."

"You wish!" he said, before ripping a piece of cookie and following a similar process as Beth.

Soon, they finished the whole container of ice-cream. Silently, the two of them watched the sky fill with colours as the sun began to set.

"Thanks Sirius, that was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me," Beth said, keeping her eyes on the sky. She let herself lie on her back on the blanket.

Beside her, Sirius spoke, "Not a problem."

Another silence ensued, but it didn't bother either of them.

"Beth?"

"Mm?" She had her eyes closed.

Sirius leaned down close to her ear and whispered, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Her eyes popped open immediately and she struggled to get up. Sirius put his hand on her shoulder and held her down gently. "What?" she whispered hoarsely.

He shook his head amusedly and put his weight on one elbow to face her. "Will you, Elizabeth Taylor, be my girlfriend? This has got to be the first time I've had to repeat that question to a girl."

She pushed herself onto her elbow too, to face him. "Yes, yes, yes, yes!" She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss before pulling back; worried that she had been too forward.

Sirius groaned audibly. "Come here," he said, before kissing her nose gently to cease her worrying. Then he turned his attention to those soft lips of hers. He gave her one long, slow kiss before pulling away and getting up.

"We have to go," he said suddenly, "it's dangerous out here late at night now with all the death eaters."

Beth nodded and helped him pack up, still feeling elated. She would never forget this day in her life. She felt on top of the world.

Elizabeth Taylor was the girlfriend of Sirius Black; how long had she waited for this day?


	18. I Promise

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: I don't think I'll be able to update again until next Tuesday because school is really busy right now. Maybe I'll be able to squeeze one in on Friday because I really like the idea I have for the next chapter. I'm sorry if this isn't the best chapter, and I might rewrite this if people feel it's needed so review:)**

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Lynne giggled and tugged on her blindfolds. "Where are you taking me Jamesie?"

James involuntarily cringed at the name but let it pass. "Just wait," he said softly, gently prying her hands off the cloth covering her eyes.

"It's going to flatten my hair James," she whined impatiently, the giggles subsiding immediately.

_Her hair, _thought James, _was too perfect anyways, so unlike the untamed red hair on Halloween nigh-. _He cut his thoughts short, refusing to acknowledge she was plaguing his thoughts again – Lynne, _his girlfriend, _was right beside him. Now was not the time to think of her, especially when he was taking his girlfriend to his spot.

"It's beautiful," he supplied absentmindedly. Seeing as that had placated the girl, he let his thoughts continue. _Was it right to be showing her this spot? _He couldn't help but wonder if what he was doing was right.

Making up his mind, he steered her to the left of a large, hollow tree. "We're almost there," he said.

Lynne crossed her arms over her chest and huffed, allowing her boyfriend to guide her through what she supposed was a forest. _Why was he taking her here? _she thought. Briefly, she considered that he was going to… _No, _she sighed silently, sadly _James wouldn't do that with her. Kissing was as far as he'd ever go. _Suddenly, all her disappointment redirected and turned to anger towards Lily Evans. She would always stand in the way between her and her goal – namely James.

"Are you ready?" James asked as he stopped her walking. He wrapped his arms around her waist and she snuggled against him. This was, after all, James Potter.

"Sure," she muttered, still not happy over her trek through the woods. She didn't get what he wanted to show her.

James lifted the blindfolds off her eyes carefully and gave her a minute to take in the view. It was absolutely astounding. They were standing on a barren hill, with the trees at their backs and the small homely Hogsmeade village far off in front of them. Hogwarts was merely a dot in the background. Still, as beautiful as it looked, Lynne couldn't see the wonder of it. She could find a view similarly as beautiful in any Hogwarts window.

In any case, she forced a gasp of delight, watching James calculatingly with her eyes. She noticed his unease turn into apparent relief. "James, it's gorgeous here." She delighted herself in the fact that he seemed quite happy she had liked it.

She pulled James to the soft dry ground and sat in his lap, staring at the dot that was Hogwarts. _The sacrifices she had to make to be with this guy_, Lynne thought bitterly. She longed to be back in the warm castle, without bugs and wind, without the trees and the mud.

"Do you like it?" he asked cautiously. James knew she wasn't too pleased about being here, and he felt a little disappointed. _Lily would have loved.._

Lynne acted out the pleased and loving girlfriend impeccably though and James let his suspicions fade away.

He relaxed, and let his girlfriend kiss him soundly on the lips. Today was going to be a good day.

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Lily tapped her foot on the ground impatiently, checking the clock on the wall one more time. It read ten thirty.  
"Where is he?" she muttered angrily, pointing her wand mercilessly at the fire, making it glow brighter. She shivered at the temperature of the room.

Lily got up and walked to one of the many shelves of books in the library, thumbing through the spines carefully. Once she had found a book she liked, she picked it up and walked back to the hearth. She sat down on the couch and began to read.

After 2 pages, she sighed loudly and glanced at the clock once again; ten thirty-nine. Lily closed her book and set it on the space beside her, and let her eyes wander yet again to the closed door of the library.

The librarian looked up from her desk and saw where Lily's eyes were directed. She looked at her favourite student with concern and gently suggested, "Go to bed, Ms. Evans."

The girl sitting on the couch in front of her just shook her head and leaned back. "Just 20 more minutes and I'll be gone."

Lily was as stubborn as girl as you could find, and the librarian wasn't about to start an argument with her now; not when she looked so tired and exhausted. Still, she had sensed Lily's presence here since over 3 hours ago.

The older woman picked up the abandoned book and gave it to Lily. Then she took the seat beside her.

"Who are you waiting for," asked the librarian, Professor Webb.

Lily looked at the book in her lap and mumbled, "James."

Professor Webb nodded, and waited for Lily to continue. When she didn't, the librarian stood up and began to leave the room, reminding Lily to be out by 11 as she had promised before she left.

Lily, who could feel the pieces of her heart drop like the grains of sand in an hourglass, quietly listened to the ticking of the clock. _Tick, tick, tick, _she heard the clock go. She watched the clock uselessly, knowing very well he wasn't coming. Either something had happened, or he had completely forgotten. Lily knew it was probably the latter.

As the giant bell of the clock tower far away chimed eleven, Lily left the cold, uninviting room. From the corner of her eye, she could see the librarians worried expression, so she turned and gave her a slight smile.

"_Lily, meet me in the library tonight will you?" James asked when sitting at Hogsmeade together that morning. Her heart danced happily at the fact that he wanted to meet her later although she knew it was because of the fact that they were the two Heads._

"_Sure James, at 7 after dinner?" she suggested, straining to keep the excitement out of her voice. She felt that any little step for her would at least still be a step. She would try for James, but she refused to be the third person. She would just have to wait._

"_Yeah, that sounds good," he replied smiling at her._

_He had promised her,_ she thought angrily. Then, an unpleasant thought came to her mind. What if he was in trouble? Or worse, hurt. Guiltily, she hoped that were the case. Once outside, she broke into a run, hoping to snuggle under her comforter as soon as possible. Maybe that would make her feel better.

Unfortunately for Lily, Beth and Jodie were wandering through the halls towards the common room, and since is was on the way to Lily's own room, she had literally ran into them.

"Oh good Lily, you're here. Beth said she had some news, but she refused to blurt it out until you were here too," said Jodie once she had regained her balance.

"Lily? How did it go?" asked Beth, trying to avoid the news she had to say. She knew the girls weren't going to entirely thrilled about Sirius, since he had a reputation that was quite true, but she also knew they would be happy for her. She would tell them...she just wanted some time first.

"Oh yeah, the meeting with _James," _laughed Jodie, exaggerating the word James. However, she stopped when she noticed Lily wasn't laughing

"What meeting?" retorted Lily with rage. She breathed in and out slowly before continuing with a calmer voice, "he didn't even come."

Immediately, Beth and Jodie tried to come up with reasons for his lack of appearance.

"Maybe he had detention, you know he always does."

"Maybe he was hurt, and couldn't tell you."

"Maybe the guys forcibly dragged him away."

"Maybe he was kidnapped."

"Maybe he –"

But they were cut off by the soft but strong voice of Lily, "or maybe he forgot?" Slowly, afraid at the scene behind them, Jodie and Beth turned around. James was there, smiling at them with his arm around Lynne's shoulder.

_Did they go to his spot? _thought Beth as she glared at the boy. She turned around to leave with Lily but found her already gone.

"Where'd she go," Beth asked out loud, bringing Jodie out of her death glare directed at James.

Seeing that her best friend had already left, Jodie whipped around once again and demanded in a dangerous whisper, "Can we talk to you James? Now?"

James nodded, waiting for them to continue.

"James," said Beth, "Just James."

James stared at them uncertainly and urged Lynne to go inside.

"What is it?" he asked, stepping closer to the two girls. _Where did Lily go?_

"WHAT IS IT JAMES?" bellowed Jodie, pointing her finger at his chest. He merely blinked at her.

"Did you have something to do tonight?" hinted Beth while trying to calm her friend down.

"Something to do?" he asked out loud. The answer popped to his brain almost immediately, "Lily!" he exclaimed. "How could I forget?"

"Yeah, that's a good question," said Jodie, her tone dripping with sarcasm, before she pulled Beth inside the room leaving James outside. They two girls glared menacingly at Lynne before pushing past and heading to their room. Too angry at James and Lynne, the two had completely forgotten about Beth's news, including Beth herself.

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"What do I do?" asked James as he paced his friends bedroom floor the next morning.

"My rug is hurt," said Sirius, looking pointedly at the ground James had been walking on for the past half hour, "and so are my feelings. No good morning for your good buddy?"

"Shut up Sirius."

"Just apologize James, it's not so hard," suggested a weak looking Remus, who was pulling his shirt over his head. "And you're giving me a headache, stop pacing!"

"I haven't seen you so worked up since you _gave up _on Lily," Sirius pointed out with a smirk. He air quoted the words gave up because they were all pretty sure he never did.

"I have a girlfriend now," said James impatiently, "I just….don't want to ruin the bet."

The other three boys just shook their heads in response. _Poor Lily, _thought Remus in his head, making a silent note to see how she was during class today. Remus was glad he and Lily were still friends, and he was not going to ruin that.

"Well, why would we help you win a bet when we would be the losers," asked Peter.

The boys waited for James' response.

"I don't want to hurt her feelings," he admitted after a while.

Remus was the one who snorted this time, "Too late for that."

"What do you mean?"

"Does it matter?" replied Remus tiredly, "Just go and apologize, she'll forgive you."

Sirius walked up to James and patted him on the back, "Prongs, Lily will always forgive you, now go."

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"Lily!" shouted James from behind the red haired girl. "Lily!"

Lily braced herself inwardly before turning around and facing James. She smiled tightly, and James could see it was forced.

"I'm so sorry," began James, trying to catch his breath.

Lily waited until he was ready before brushing his apology off and saying, "It's ok, you had more important things to do."

"That's not what I meant."

"That's what I saw," Lily replied, softening her voice just a bit. Still, she stared at him with hardened eyes. He couldn't see how much it had hurt.

"I'll never do that again to you," assured James, hoping that this would be accepted by Lily. He couldn't get over how her eyes seemed to return to how they looked the year before; cold and unbothered.

"Right," said Lily unbelievingly.

"I'm really sorry Lils," he repeated as he pulled her into a hug. Lily could feel her hurtful words build up in her throat; she could feel here resolve melting, her wall falling. She had to go.

"Do you promise? Because I don't think I'll be able to forgive you next time," asked Lily quietly, "Don't make a promise you can't keep."

"I promise."

"Ok James, I believe you," she replied, returning to a friendlier tone. "I need to go now."

With that, she practically ran to her next class, praying to god he wouldn't follow. Somehow, the disappointed hurt feeling she had vowed never to let herself be susceptible to two years ago was creeping up on her. Should she really risk it?

_Yes, _a voice in Lily's head answered her. She decided maybe it was time to start listening to this voice.


	19. To Be a Child

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Sorry for the slight delay. Remember when I said I liked the idea for the next chapter last time. Well, the idea turned out to be a little long, so now it's going to be split into two chapters. This one is more of an update on what has happened so far. Next chapter will be a little more dramatic.**

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"What's up with all you people tonight man?" demanded Peter, annoyed that no one seemed to paying the least attention to him. He and his two Marauder friends were sitting around the fireplace in the common room with Lily, Beth and Jodie. Although his friends seemed pleasant enough tonight, it was hard not to notice all of them had something on their minds. No one but him seemed to me making an effort to keep the conversation going and it was tiring him out. _Everyone was too busy for him nowadays, _Peter thought miserably.

"Sorry Wormtail," commented Sirius. Even though his comment was aimed towards Peter, his eyes were reserved for someone else.

"Take your eyes of your girlfriend Black," snorted Peter venomously, relaying his anger at his good friend. The look on his face was priceless. _At least now I have their attentions._

"Wh-at?" choked Sirius. Peter felt the penetrating glare of Sirius without even looking at him.

"I'm just joking," replied Peter, raising his one eyebrow at the group, "Always thought you could take a joke."

"A joke...right," said Sirius, clearly relieved. Beth released the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Her friends could not find out about Sirius and her relationship from someone else and not her. She had to tell them soon she knew.

Peter was about to question Sirius further when James and Lynne stepped into the circle.

"Hey guys."

A chorus of "Hey"s greeted the two arrivals.

"Well, this is our cue to leave," said Lily, hastening to leave before she would have to see James and Lynne together. She barely caught the look of confusion etched in James' face. Barely.

She felt compelled to give an explanation, but Jodie beat her to it.

"Sleepover tonight," she said, "Hope you don't mind James, it's going to be in the head's dorm."

Lily interrupted quickly as the thought of him feeling uncomfortable with it crossed her mind. "I would have talked to you about it, but you know," she said, gesturing vaguely with her hands, unable to continue.

"Oh it's alright, I won't be there anyways."

Sirius, Peter and Remus all looked at James when he said this. "Were you sleeping in our dorm tonight Pr-James?"

"No." He didn't need to continue. Everyone knew what he meant, with or without the obnoxious smirk Lynne threw around. Lily felt the need, more now than ever, to leave the room.

Seeing the unease on her friends face, Jodie linked arms with the two girls and headed for the door. They only stopped when James reminded Lily they had patrol tomorrow, and even then, it was brief. She didn't need the salt on her wound – it stung enough without it.

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"How long has it been since we last had one of these?" asked Beth as she changed into a tank top and pajama shorts.

"Forever," Lily answered while lying on her bed with her eyes closed.

Beth tied her long hair up into a quick bun before taking the space beside Lily and lying down. "I miss them."

"Remember when we used to sit in a circle, and talk until morning," Jodie thought out loud, "No boy troubles back them."

The three girls lied side by side on Lily's large bed in silence while they reminisced.

"I wish I was 8 again, there was so little to worry about," Beth suddenly said, turning around and propping herself up on her elbows. She looked at her two friends with their eyes closed and wondered once again if they would be happy for her. She would tell them tonight; Beth knew she couldn't put it off any longer. She knew they would always love her and support her, and definitely worry for her. Lately, Lily was going through so much, and Jodie seemed troubled as well. Beth just didn't know if it was the right time to lay another burden on their shoulders.

"What's wrong Beth?" asked Lily, popping one of her eyes open. _Besides, _thought Beth cynically, _Lily could figure anything out._

"Let's do it again."

"Do what," murmured Jodie keeping her eyes firmly shut.

"Talk."

"We always talk Beth," Lily pointed out, now opening both of her eyes and letting a worrisome wrinkle appear on her forehead.

"No, really talk. Like we used to. We all have different classes now, and this year has been so hectic. Let's just talk about anything and everything."

Two wrinkles now were on Lily's forehead as Lily forcibly pulled Jodie up into a sitting position.

"Fine," said Jodie, squinting her eyes at the blinding light. She pouted her lips to show her dissatisfaction of being disturbed. "There's a cute guy I met the other day, his name's Jeremy."

"Jeremy?"

"Jeremy Burt in Hufflepuff."

"He's a pure slimeball," said Beth with a start, "I mean, he dated Ashley Morrison last year and –"

"Oh I know," said Jodie with a smile, "he was flirting with me that day you guys went to Hogsmeade."

"And what else is new?" laughed Lily.

"And I didn't flirt back. I mean, what in the world is wrong with me?"

"Maybe it was because he's a pervert and you had a little bit of common sense in your head?" said Beth teasingly.

"That's not the point. I'm Jodie Williams. I'm a flirt, I'm a tease. Something is definitely not right when I don't WANT to flirt," and for the benefit of Beth, she added, "Even if the guy is a slimeball."

"I'm glad you know," huffed Beth, "but nothing's wrong with you."

"Oh no, I agree with Jodie. Something is wrong with her," Lily started but was cut off by Beth.

"What are you talking about? She perfectl—"

"Don't interrupt me Beth! Think about it, the world should be upside down according to the natural laws of the world. The day Jodie should stop flirting is the day the world would turn upside down – that what we used to say remember? Something is definitely wrong," Lily continued, winking at Beth.

Beth caught on, "Maybe we need to set her up on a few dates, you know, to ensure the world stays upright." The two girls broke out in laughter while the third scowled.

"I'm serious guys."

"Jodie, it's not a big deal. It's not a crime to not flirt with every guy you see," Lily comforted. "I'm sure you'll figure it out soon enough." With that, she engulfed her friend in a hug.

After a long time, Jodie released her grip on Lily. She swallowed deeply and opened her mouth to speak. Lily and Beth waited patiently.

Jodie tried once again, but her voice seemed to be lost.

Finally, she spoke in a tone barely above a whisper. "Remus has been awfully pale these past days, do you guys know what's wrong with him?"

When her friends gave her a look that clearly said they thought she was crazy, she continued. "I already figured it out…it's…Remus."

Lily's heart picked up. _Jodie can't like Remus. Jodie just can't, because he.._she thought wildly, barely hearing her friend.

"It's not that I like him," she said as Lily felt a wave of relief wash over her. It disappeared the moment she heard Jodie mumble, "I think."

"He's the smart type, you know. The perfect guy who would want real relationships that mean something, and what am I. The complete opposite. I just don't know."

Lily felt terrible. She knew it wasn't her fault, but the guilty feeling remained nonetheless. There was no way she could talk about Remus' confession to Jodie now – it would hurt her too much.

"Ok, now my secret is out. One of you guys go."

"Well…," Beth stuttered, "I can't believe Ashley Morrision ever went out with Burt. I'm so glad you didn't take an interest in him Jodie. Sirius told me all about him and, god, I was disgusted. And did you know that Kyle is going out with Janice now. They don't match at all! She paused for a breath, "But I'm still pretty amazed that he, as a slytherin, was brave enough to go with a Gryffindor. Maybe he really likes her? Who knows. And you know the Ravenclaw Hayden? I heard his aunt was a victim of you know who…that's supposedly why he hasn't been here lately and –"

"We know all of this too Beth," said Jodie bluntly. She was waiting for Beth to say something else and Beth knew it. It was now or never.

"Sirius asked me to be his girlfriend."

"WHAT" shouted Lily and Jodie at the same time. They both looked at her as if waiting for her to say it was all a joke. She nodded meekly.

Lily was the first to recover, "So he asked you to be his girlfriend?"

"I believe that's what I said."

"Sirius Black?" she prodded.

Beth had known this would happen, so she answered with as much patience as she could muster. "Yes"

"And when was this?" asked Jodie, her voice cracked.

"Hogsmeade."

"That was almost a week ago!"

"Only a few days, I just didn't know how to tell you guys. I really like him guys, so so much. You know this."

"We do," Lily said. "We're just worried he'll hurt you."

"He won't!" Beth defended, "I know it."

"It's a guy thing to do," argued Lily. "I would know."

"But, you've barely gone out that I know of and.."

Lily hesitated at this. Should she tell Beth about her past and Will? Jodie looked at her as well. Lily took a deep breath and decided she shouldn't keep it from her best friend. She began to tell her story.

"Oh my god!" Beth gasped. Lily just nodded.

"I just hope Sirius won't be like that," Jodie said, hoping to divert the conversation away from Lily, who seemed to be getting uncomfortable.

"He won't," Beth said firmly. She refused to believe otherwise.

Jodie and Lily looked at their best friend and smiled. _At least she has her happy ending, _they thought similarly. They were truly happy for her but they couldn't shrug off the jealousy wrapping around their hearts.

Why couldn't Lily have this with someone? Preferably James.

Why was this bugging Jodie at all?

Still, they smiled at their friend and asked for details eagerly.

After thoroughly telling her story, Beth then looked pointedly at Lily. "Now, spill the beans."

"There's nothing to spill."

"Don't lie Lily, we've both had our turns."

"There really is nothing," protested Lily.

"How about James?"

"He's a friend."

"A friend? Friends with benefits more like."

"I wish," breathed Lily. The words stunned her when she realized, that truly was what she wished.  
"What? I didn't catch that," said Beth.

"Nothing. I'm not going to be the third person in the relationship, the boyfriend stealing backstabber. He's a friend and nothing more."

"But you want more," prodded Jodie with a smug smile. Lily wanted to wipe that smile off her face.

"It doesn't matter what I want or don't. He's made it pretty clear he's happy with her and I've decided to let it go."

"You can't go down without a fight."

"I lost the chance," stated Lily simply.

"This isn't the girl I've known for so many years. If there's one thing you inherited from your…your _mother, _it's that blasted stubbornness and perseverance."

Lily sighed and imitated Jane Evans, "_An Evans never gives up."_

"Exactly Lily! Don't give up," said Beth encouragingly.

"I like him a lot guys," Lily conceded at last. There, she said it. She liked James Potter. She liked James Potter. Lily Evans liked James Potter. And James Potter obviously didn't want anything to do with Lily Evans anymore. "and I ruined it in the past few years."

"I'm sure he still has feelings for you," smiled Jodie, "Potter will always love his Lilyflower."

"I've made pretty damn sure I dashed every one of those feelings," said Lily angrily. "Why did this have to happen?"

"I for one am glad we had this talk," said Jodie as the three girls hugged each other. Oh, how they wished to be a carefree child once again. They would never have wished to grown up.


	20. Now what?

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

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A hesitant knock on the door woke Remus up from his sleep. He leaned over to check the time – 2:30 am. He pushed the comforter off himself and went to open the door.

"Hi."

"James, it's past two!," he whispered.

"Yeah I know, I'm sorry."

"Whatever," replied Remus as he rubbed his tired eyes. He stepped back from the door and nodded to James' sleeping bag and pillow already set on the floor. Then, he retreated back to the warmth of his bed.

James looked at the stuff on the ground and asked, "How'd you know?"

"Know what?" Remus questioned, turning to his side to face his friend.

"That I'd come tonight," replied James, gesturing at the sleeping arrangement on the ground.

"What are you doing with this whole Lynne business anyways? I thought she was a part of your plan?" countered Remus, sleepy but still curious. He would find out – for Lily's sake.

James sighed. "I honestly don't know. I mean…she's nice and all."

Remus snorted silently at that.

"And I think I do like her a bit. But, you know, she's just not _Lily_."

"That's for sure," added Remus.

"Sometimes though, I feel as if it's real between us – me and Lynne." He looked directly at Remus and said, "Most of the time though, I think I wish it was Lily."

Remus clarified, "You think?"

"I think. I'm just not sure about anything anymore. Don't tell Sirius," James laid his head on the pillow, "but I never really got over her. It's just…now that I'm with Lynne, it's so much easier."

"Easy doesn't mean anything."

"I know," James moaned, "What do I do? I'm in such a mess."

"You'll figure it out. You know..Lils thinks you're sleeping with…"

_Lily. _

"But you didn't think I would," James pointed out, glancing at Remus.

"Oh, I knew you couldn't do that to Lily," Remus said simply as he pulled his blanket higher up, "or else I would've killed you."

Silence ensued, and James used this time to think. _Remus is right, I couldn't do that to Lily. _Satisfied, James finally drifted off to sleep.

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Lily was busy eating her lunch when James walked up to her. She looked up and smiled. "Hey!"

"Hey," he replied, sending a smile to her. Her heart sped up ever so slightly.

"What's up?" she asked as she pointedly looked towards his girlfriend. He ignored that action.

"Patrol tonight," he answered, "I didn't forget."

She nodded solemnly. "Good."

James ran a hand through his hair and tucked the other hand deep into his pockets. She laughed at his nervousness, although she felt quite the same. It was just easier to laugh.

Lily recalled when she hated when James messed up his hair. She had known he did it on purpose. _But now, _she thought glancing at his hopeless expression, _it's actually because he's really nervous. _She liked this James a lot better. He seemed to be doing less to annoy her these days. Whether it was because of her or Lynne, she couldn't bring herself to find the answer.

"Jammmeeesssiiiie."

James looked down to see Lily looking at him with sad eyes. Eyes that made his heart break. _He could almost feel it. _

"I guess you have to go," she said with a tight smile. "Go."

James didn't know what to say.

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The loud chiming bell rang the end of the school day, setting the children of Hogwarts free. Sirius was the first to leave the classrooms. He sped down the hallway to meet up with James outside.

"James," he shouted as he neared the raven haired boy.

James excused himself from the people he was talking to before turning to his best friend. "What's up Padfoot?"

"It's Remus."

"What happened?" James inquired, pulling them to a quieter area away from all his classmates.

"Tonight's the full moon," Sirius said quietly.

"I thought that was tomorrow!"

"Apparently not," replied Sirius. "So tonight after dinner?"

James whispered urgently, "But I have patrol tonight Sirius, what am I supposed to tell Lily?"

"That your friend is a werewolf and you need to go help keep him in line," suggested Sirius. The joke wasn't funny and they both knew it. "Just tell her anything, that you're with Lynne or something."

"But –"

"Peter's already gone off somewhere and can't make it tonight. There's no way I can handle Moony alone when he's like that. You know we have to have at least two of us."

James stared blatantly at Sirius. He knew he had to go tonight, there was no way he could let Sirius face the dangers by himself. Even in the form of an animal, you couldn't be perfectly safe from a werewolf. Sure, they didn't attack you outright, but they were rough creatures. If there happened to be a person nearby, Sirius wouldn't be able to save anyone alone.

Besides, Remus would never be alright if anyone was hurt. He had done so much for the rest of them, James couldn't abandon him.

_But you can abandon Lily? _Said a voice in his head.

James sighed, probably for the hundredth time that day. "Alright, after dinner."

But Sirius was already walking back to the castle. He turned back. "Oh did I mention, I'm going out with Beth."

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Dinner was almost over and James had yet to see Lily.

"Beth, Jodie, have you seen Lily?" he asked urgently. He had to at least tell her he wasn't going to be able to make patrol tonight. "Oh congrats Beth by the way. Sirius told me."

"She went to dinner early because she had to talk with professor Dumbledore about something right now," answered Jodie nonchalantly, focusing more on her potato than the boy behind her.

"When will she be done?" he asked.

"Not sure, soon I think."

"Alright thanks." James walked back to his seat dejectedly. _Lily please come soon. _

He finished his meal and looked at the clock. It was almost 6, he had to go out soon and Lily still wasn't here. Sirius had already left, and Remus had excused himself from classes all day. Peter was nowhere to be seen.

Soon the clock tower chimed, signaling the beginning of a new hour.

James had to go.

This was it then. He knew when Lily found out he wasn't showing tonight, she would never forgive him. He had promised her. She had _told_ him not to make a promise he couldn't keep, but what was he to do. James was stuck; he couldn't leave Sirius and Remus to fend for themselves, yet he couldn't bear to have Lily hating him.

The right choice was with his friends he knew, _so why does it feel so wrong?_

He stepped out into to cool crisp air and focused on transforming himself into is animagus form of a stag.

_I'm so sorry Lily, I didn't mean to do this to you. Forgive me._

Then, the glowing white stag leapt forward to meet the black dog nearby.

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"I love you so much Frank," gushed Alice as they walked into the Gryffindor common room together. It was a little over half past seven yet the room was nearly abandoned.

Alice noticed her friend staring at the clock, and nudged Frank.

"What?" he asked before noticing Lily as well. He mouthed 'oh' silently.

Alice pointed at the staircase to the boys dorm and gave a quick kiss to her boyfriend. He nodded and headed off while Alice went to sit beside her friend.

"Mind if I sit down?"

Lily scooted over on the couch to allow room for Alice to sit.

"Who are you waiting for?" she asked.

Lily looked at Alice as if she were crazy. "Who else?"

"James?"

Lily nodded. "He was supposed to be here at 7 for patrol tonight."

Alice looked at the clock and saw it was a quarter to eight. She decided to keep her friend company.

Lily though, was too busy praying to notice. _Please be here James. I need you to be here. Don't do this._ It had been like this since 15 after 7.

The all too familiar ring from outside grazed upon the two girls.

Alice was the first to speak. "An hour is a stretch Lily."

"No," she said firmly, "he'll come." She gave her friend a forced smile, but she was sure it was palpable, her feelings. He wouldn't come. He had stood her up again. He had broken his promise.

Why did she even care? Shouldn't she have learned her lesson by now? James Potter doesn't care anymore, so stop being like this Lily. _I can't help it, _she thought.

She looked out at the full moon shining brightly on the cloudless night. Soon it would be a new moon.

Grabbing her sweater which was propped on the arm of the couch, she forced herself up. "Can't keep the halls waiting now can we?" she said. The joke even sounded lame to her own ears.

Alice nodded and smiled sadly at Lily. She pulled her in for a hug before whispering in her ear, "He didn't mean it. You'll be ok."

"You bet I will," she replied curtly walking away, "but I've had enough excuses for him." She tried her hardest not to stumble through her blurry vision.

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After the long night, James was feeling dead tired. Remus wasn't going to be in class for another few days because of a few injuries but other than that, the night went along fine. In fact, it was a perfect as you could get if you had to chase around with a werewolf all night.

"It's going to be a long day," said Sirius, sipping some strong coffee during breakfast. The boys never drank coffee except when they had pulled all-nighters.

"You have no idea," agreed James. Sirius really had no idea. Lily was going to _kill_ him today. "Come to my funeral by the way, just in case I die. You, Remus and Peter can share all my belongings."

"Why the morbid thoughts?" asked Sirius.

"No reason."

"Right…this lack of sleep is messing with you buddy," said Sirius lifting one of his perfect eyebrows.

"Peter still gone?" asked James, changing the subject.

"No clue where he went."

"Did you check the cliff that looks over Hogsmeade village?"

"No, why there?"

"It's his spot? You never knew?" replied James disbelievingly.

"Nope, never took the time to find out."

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That afternoon, James took it upon himself to look for Lily. She wasn't at breakfast and she wasn't at lunch. He was pretty sure she was avoiding him.

He found her, predictably, at the library.

"Go away."

He looked around him and noticed he was the only one there. "I'm sorry," he pleaded.

She didn't look at him but instead, focused on her book. James knew she wasn't reading anything though.

"I had some important stuff to do," he tried.

That brought her to snap the book shut. The noise echoed through the large room.

"Saying that I'm not important," she said angrily.

"No, that's not what I meant."

She lifted her chin up to face him. "Well, for your information _potter_, I don't care."

James grimaced at her emotionless eyes. He took in her pale skin and red nose, her bloodshot, puffy eyes and her tired expression. He hated himself at this moment.

"You were with _her _again, weren't you?" she spat out.

"No."

"Then where were you?! I waited an hour for you to show up because you had _promised. _You told me you would be there. You reminded be that day before, and at lunch today. So what _possible _reason do you have for not showing up," she shouted, her sadness changing into anger rapidly.

"I…" James thought about telling the truth, but then he'd be betraying Remus. So he kept silent.

He didn't have to say anything – his eyes said it all.

"Damn you! I _hate _you. I hate you so much. I never want to see you again." By this time, Lily was crying. "I thought you were different this year. But no, same old Potter."

"Lily, you can't mean that," begged James. He knew he deserved it though. The beautiful girl in front of him, inside and out, was crying because of him.

"I _do. _See James, when I say things, I actually _mean them. _Go back to your girlfriend or whatever she is." Lily dropped herself onto the couch dishearteningly, "Just go."

"Lily –"

"Don't call me that Potter," she said menacingly as she lifted her wand up.

"So what are you going to do, hex me?"

"Never had trouble doing it before now did I?"

"Lily –"

"Stop saying that!"

James lifted his hands up in surrender and waited for Lily to hit him with a spell. He watched her eyes widen in surprise before narrowing in suspicion. He noticed all the different emotions cross her face, conflicting against each other.

"Leave me alone, please? I beg you. Don't do this to me."

She slowly walked by him and out the door.

He didn't argue. He didn't follow. He just let her go.

_Now what?_


	21. Chances

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Pleaaaaaseee Revieewww. It makes me so happy when people review, even if its suggesting ideas or anything.  
And, do you guys think the previous summary was better or this one?**

**AND, just for clarification, it was stated in the last chapter that James never really did show Lynne 'his' spot. It was actually Peters. And he never slept with her, as if that wasn't clear enough. James is too good for that. **

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James was undoubtedly surprised and disappointed when Lily practically reverted to her previous self. He remembered all too clearly the way Lily was before this year. Now that he had gotten a taste of a friendship between himself and Lily, he wasn't sure he could give that up.

Except now, it wasn't like back then. He looked over at Lily, sitting between her best friends. Then, she had at least yelled at him, hexed him, cursed him, or something. Presently, she just seemed emotionless and remote. She wouldn't talk to him anymore, she wouldn't smile at him anymore; it was as if he were nonexistent.

It killed him to know it was because he had let her down again. It's not like he wanted to; in fact, it was the last thing he wanted to do.

Remus had understood James' pain. He had given James a sympathetic look that day at the hospital that told James Remus understood. It made him feel just a little better. Just a little.

"And that will be all for today," Professor McGonagall finished just as the bell rang. "Read chapter 7 for next class."

The class immediately dispersed and the students filed out of the classroom. Lily stood and closed her ink container, packed her quills and stuffed them all into her bag. She prided herself that she didn't once look at James throughout this class. It hurt to see him.

"Ready to go?" asked a deep voice from beside the three girls. Lily looked up to see Sirius.

"Yeah," replied Beth cheerfully, grasping her books under one arm. Lily smiled briefly when Sirius took the books from Beth and held her hand with his free one. Together they walked off to their next class.

Jodie sighed beside her. "And then there were two."

Lily merely nodded and linked arms with Jodie, climbing the few steps to the door.

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"It was weird."

"Sorry, what was?" asked Lily.

"Last night, Sirius, Peter, James and Remus were all missing. I think the school's got another big prank coming," replied Frank.

Lily absorbed this information slowly. _So, __**all**__of them were missing?_

She didn't have much time to analyze this though, as the squeaky voice of Professor Silmer disturbed her thoughts. The teacher was once again reminding Lynne and her two friends to stop talking and start planting.

"All of them gone you say?" she inquired as she measured the height of her and Frank's plant. It was brown in colour, and looked more like a tree trunk than a flower. The _Caliscous _it was called.

Frank didn't get a chance to answer.

"Longbottom? Please switch places with Lynne here please. Maybe then she and her friends will get some work done," demanded the professor.

Immediately Lily sent Frank a pleading look. She could **not** be paired with _her. _Frank just shrugged helplessly, with sympathetic eyes.

"Can I switch with her?" Lily suddenly blurted. She could feel the professors eyes boring holes into her back, contemplating.

With some reluctance mixed with confusion, Professor Silmer conceded. "Very well."

Lily sighed with relief and hurried to her new partners.

"What's you name again?" one of the two Barbie dolls asked snobbishly.

"Lily."

"Ah, infamous Evans – the one James liked. Thank god he got over that," said the other. Lily inwardly flinched but refused to give the two satisfaction.

Seeing that their words made no dent, they announced, "Alright carry on then." Lily paid no notice to them. She didn't care if they expected her to do all the work – it would probably be less trouble without them bothering her anyways.

Yet, bother her they did.

"I don't even know why Lynne is going out with him."

"What do you mean, it's _James Potter. _You'd be a _fool _to not go out with him."

Lily knew that too well.

"Well he's hot and all, but –"

"Not to mention, quidditch captain and popular?"

"Fine, but she told me the other day that he hasn't even gone all the way with her. Is something wrong with him?"

"_Oh my god_. If you tell me he's gay I'm going to kill myself."

Lily almost laughed at the absurdity of that assumption. James was definitely not like that.

"James Potter? I don't think so. Are you sure they haven't done it?"

"Apparently."

"Wow, do you think I have a chance then?"

"No, if anything it'd be me first." This girl was obviously the dominant of the two. "Anyways, I sort of feel sorry for him. Don't you?"

"Why?"

"Hasn't she told you? She's seeing Craig too."

"Craig Ernan? He's totally hot."

"Lynne's got both."

"I wish I were her," said one of the two girls in a dreamy voice, "but what if James finds out."

"He won't," said the other, "I wish I were her too."

Lily bit her tongue. She didn't mean to eavesdrop but she did. _So Lynne was cheating on James? How could she? _Lily almost laughed at herself, _because James is the most popular boy. _Then, Lily wondered if James knew about this.

Should she tell him, now that they apparently weren't talking anymore? She decided she had to; it was the right thing to do. For a moment, she even felt happy that Lynne was cheating on James – it meant a chance for her, but guiltiness quickly overcame her.

Lynne was cheating on James. _How could she do that to such a sweet boy? _But then again, she had rejected him for years on end, what right did she have to say anything?

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It was dinner before Lily had worked up the guts to tell James. She had discussed this new information with Beth, Jodie and Alice, and they had all agreed that this should be done alone. It would make James feel better without having the news delivered to him in front of his friends.

The plan was that Alice would get Peter away, while Sirius was obviously left to Beth. Remus was still in the hospital wing so he wasn't a problem. Jodie would make sure nobody would walk in on them. It was an infallible plan, except for one tiny consideration.

"What?" shouted James. He had been genuinely shocked when Lily had pulled him into a classroom and talked to him, but none more so then when she had declared Lynne was _cheating _on him.

"It's true," she said determinedly. He could see that twinkle in her eye when she had an idea in her mind that she had to get out.

"No," he said simply. _Nobody _would cheat on James Potter.

"Please James," pleaded Lily with a soft voice, "I'm not lying."

James softened his glare. "I'm not saying you are Lils," he noticed her flinch, "but maybe you heard wrong?"

"I did _not _hear wrong."

"Lynne wouldn't cheat on me."

"You believe her over me," Lily declared accusingly.

It wasn't that James didn't believe Lily. It wasn't even that James believed Lynne. It was his pride. His damn pride. _Nobody_ would cheat on James Potter. **That** was what he believed.

"It's not that Lily!" But his defenses were futile. Lily was already on a roll.

"James Potter, you'll regret this. I'm telling you now because I care about you. I don't want you to get hurt," she raged.

"I won't get hurt!"

"Fine. But when you do, don't expect sympathy from me. I swear Potter, I can't believe you." She laughed almost hysterically. "I can't believe _me _actually. I should have known better. And I'm a fool**," **she poked her finger into his chest, stepping forward she spoke each syllable, "for ever having liked you."

With that, she turned on her heel and walked out the room. Not a single tear leaked from her eyes until she was safely in bed and she prided herself for that. For all she cared, James Potter could be dead. Hell would freeze over before she ever cared for him again – look where it got her. At least, that was what she was going to try to pretend.

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"Can you guys believe it?" asked James with a laugh. "Lynne cheating on me!"

The rest of the Marauders weren't laughing though – not even smiling.

Remus pushed himself up into a sitting position on the hospital bed. "What I can't believe is that you didn't believe Lily. Before, you would have trusted her word above anything else. She was right, you have changed."

"And I, personally, believe she would cheat on you." Sirius looked at James with penetrating gray eyes, "I dated her before and well…infidelity was both our demises I can say that easily."

"But guys, Lynne?"

"I'm saying it could be a possibility, that's all. You could have at least told Lily you would think about it."

"I can't believe this," declared James throwing his hands up into the air.

"Whatever man, this is your problem. You asked for our ideas," said Peter bluntly. Then the conversation easily turned to another boyish topic, all hostility gone.

"You're time is up boys," said the nurse as she walked into the curtained area. "Off to bed with you all."

"Alright, see you tomorrow Remus. Hopefully you'll be back in class soon. My hands are tired from taking our own notes," whined Sirius as he left. "_We neeeeed you Moooonnnnnyyy!" _he cried dramatically before making his stage exit. Peter followed rolling his eyes and James was about to before Remus called his name.

"Yeah what's wrong Moony?" he asked.

"Lily really likes you I think," Remus said, "and you're really hurting her."

"Lily would never like me," said James shortly. He refused to let that thought enter his mind and give him hope, only for it to be dashed brutally once again. "Besides, you and her seem to be getting it on," he said quietly.

But Remus heard. "Me and Lily?" he laughed bitterly, remembering his confession to her. "I don't think so chum. I think she only has eyes for one boy, our very own Prongs."

James scoffed and turned to leave. "Well goodnight Moony, we really do miss you. Aside from notes and all you know."

"I know," Remus smiled. "Good night."

Just as James was about to disappear from view, Remus added, "just think about it James. Anything is possible."

And that was when he realized the exact words that were spoken to him earlier that day. Words that he had absently ignored.

_"I'm a fool for ever having liked you."_

No Lily, he was the fool. _Three times and you're out James, _he told himself. This was definitely at least his fourth. She had been giving him a chance, and he blew it.

How long had he waited for one chance from her? And now he had messed it all up. Maybe it was time to end things with Lynne?

God, this hurt his head.


	22. Mr Darcy

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: Review review review please:)**

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Remus didn't know how it had happened, but on minute, all four of the Marauders were in the common room with him and the next they were gone. He exhaled a long breath and leaned into the soft couch, sinking into the padding.

The guys had arrived to save him from the dull hospital wing he had been stuck in for the past three days. One more day in there and Remus swore he would likely have killed himself. It was lonely, quiet and bone-chilling. Remus hated hospitals. He hated the white walls, the impeccably clean surfaces, the ever cheerful nurses and most of all, the pitying looks.

He had thought he would be spending the day with his friends but that proved to be untrue. Sirius had all but sprinted off to find his girlfriend for their first date in a while. Peter had murmured some excuse and disappeared off to nowhere as well. Remus didn't even expect James to stay once the other two left. James just looked at him with those eyes and Remus had just told him to go.

"You too huh?" said a girl's voice beside him. The voice was low and soothing and brought peace to his restless mind.

"Where's Beth and Lily?" Remus asked as he pushed himself into a better position to talk.

"Beth's with Sirius," she said as her lips formed a small smile. Remus noted she looked different today. He always knew she was a pretty girl but, he couldn't place his finger on it.

"And Lily?" he asked absentmindedly, instead focusing on figuring out what was different about her.

"She's back to avoiding James. I think she's hiding in her room right now and I doubt she's going to leave it anytime soon." The once smile was replaced with a frown. She looked at him with her big blue eyes and Remus was shocked to see them filled with worry. It touched him that Beth and Jodie were such good friends. He had his share of them as well.

"Oh," he said simply because there was a lack of something else to say. "Up for a short walk outside?"

"Are you sure you should be going out?" asked Jodie with concern. Remus was looking a lot better from before she had to admit, but she wasn't sure whether going out in this weather was appropriate. Colour had returned to his cheeks, and he seemed fresher overall. The bags under his eyes had disappeared with a good day's rest.

"You bet," he said with a wink. Jodie smiled in return. She had missed the easygoing boy. He had been gone for the past week and Jodie was glad to have him back.

"Give me a second ok?" she said as she retreated up the girls' staircase.

Five minutes later, she came back down in a green sweater and gray gloves and a gray scarf. In her hand, she held a black cloak. "Ready."

"Alright," he said. As she passed him, he whiffed a bit of a lavender fresh scent. It suited her.

Together the two walked outside and to the back of the school. The wind whipped around them violently and the crisp air tingled against their faces.

Jodie's blonde hair swung wildly in the wind but she made no attempt to tame it. There was no point, it wouldn't stay put anyways. _I must look like a maniac. _She tilted her head up to look at Remus' short and wavy brown hair. It too was blowing in the wind, but she thought he looked handsome this way. The sun shone down on the two of them as they walked and sent warmth to Remus' look. He looked almost blissfull.

Her light blue eyes connected with the light brown ones beside her and she smiled. She felt her grin going from ear to ear.

Remus looked down at the girl beside him. She wasn't tall with her 5 foot 3 frame, slightly shorter than Lily. He himself reached almost 6 feet.

"It's the make up," he said softly, more to himself than to Jodie. But she head anyways and self consciously touched her eyes.

Today, they were almost bare, with only a thin layer of eyeliner. She usually covered her whole lid, but ever since she had discovered her disinterest in flirting, she had decided it was time for a change. Now she wasn't so sure.

He seemed to realize this as he quickly amended, "No no, I like it better this way."

It was no lie. He did like it better. Without make up, nothing distracted the viewer from Jodie's soft blue eyes framed with long curly lashes and shadowed by her long bangs. Her soft blue guarded eyes – they showed no emotion.

She seemed like such an innocent girl right now, looking up at him with those eyes. But in them, there was a deeper wall. Her defenses against, what Remus guessed, to be guys.

He always knew everyone had their secrets and for the first time ever, he began to wonder what hers was.

Jodie snapped her lids shut and turned her head to the ground, painfully aware of Remus' persistent swear. Her fingers wrapped around a knuckle in her pocket. She watched her feet sink a little in the soft brown dirt, devoid of all green at this time of the year. Every moment in the cold reminded her that winter was drawing near.

At last they stopped at a wall that shielded them from the relentless wind. It was slightly warmer.

Jodie leaned on the wall. "So, where have you been?" she asked casually. She was referring to the time before the hospital.

"Here and there," he answered vaguely.

"Somewhere where you could apparently get hurt," she pointed out. "I'm just saying."

"Yeah I know, I just…tripped on something."

"You trip on something every month then?" she asked, growing more curious by the instant. Remus however was getting more and more irritated.

"None of your business," he snapped rudely. The outburst even sounded mean and uncalled for in his own ears. He apologized.

"It's alright, I know you're not feeling well still," she answered, showing no animosity whatsoever. Remus never really knew Jodie, but he was sure from all that he had heard that this was not her usual attitude. He didn't get a chance to voice that thought though, before she continued, "So how have you been lately? I would offer to help you with your work but I don't think that would be necessary seeing as it's you."

Remus nodded, and was about to ask how she had been when another urgent thought burst into his head. "How's Lily?"

Jodie bit her lip. _It was always Lily. _Her eyes turned to steel and a little fire roared inside of her. Still, she maintained her calm on the exterior. "She's doing alright. She's sort of mortified that she had voiced her feelings…" Jodie stopped. These things couldn't be said.

"Feelings to James?" he asked curiously. "Lily told me."

_How close exactly was Lily and Remus? _Thought Jodie. She shook her head and her blond hair swung.

"I think I should go check on her," he announced suddenly. "She's got to be feeling bad after last night."

Jodie nodded numbly. _What about her? _Jodie wasn't stupid. Remus cared for Lily. It was obvious. And it was equally obvious that Lily knew about his feelings. Jodie had known that girl for so many years now.

_Why didn't Lily just tell her? _she asked herself. She would have been mad at her best friend. She really ought to. If she didn't know that Lily had all the right intentions behind her act. But Jodie did know. She mentally reminded herself to talk to Lily about it later. And besides, Lily was almost crying already.

Apparently Remus knew that too because he rushed away from Jodie as if she were contagious. It wasn't as much as running away from her as running towards Lily.

But Jodie Williams does not get jealous.

She pushed herself off the abandoned wall and walked in the opposite direction. She was pleasantly surprised to see Jeremy Burt standing nearby, staring at her openly. A little feeling tingled inside her. A little teasing wouldn't hurt anyone, would it?

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Cold air descended all around Lily and she drew away from it as if it had burned her. She buried herself deeper under her blanket. She folded the corner of the page she was on in her book and set it down in front of her so that she could prop another pillow up behind her back and adjust it so that she was in a more comfortable position. Then leaned over to her bedside table and grabbed her wand, murmuring a spell to turn on the stereo. Music blasted around her and she quickly adjusted the volume.

"Silencio," she muttered, pointing her wand at the door.

Then she carefully placed it back to it's original spot and returned to her book.

She had spent the whole day in a similar fashion, only leaving the comfort of her bed for washroom break and a lunch break. She even opted out of dinner because she couldn't tear herself away from the book she was reading: Pride and prejudice.

It was her comfort book. When other people chose chick flicks and ice-cream, Lily chose a good romantic book that she could pour herself into. Books took her away from this world, like a dream. A single tear slipped down her cheek: Elizabeth Bennet was rejecting Mr. Darcy.

"Lily, why weren't you at dinner," yelled James from outside. There was no reply, not only because there was a charm on her door, but also because she simply hadn't spoken.

"Lily?"

It had been two days since the previous incident and she had barely said a word to him in that time.

"Lily, just say something _please?_"

After another pause, he asked again, "Lily?"

She tried to ignore the pain underlying the anger in his voice. What right did he have? She gave no response.

"Fine Lily, but we have patrol right now."

Lily groaned. How could she forget? Ellen and Jack, the Ravenclaw prefects, were both busy tonight and Lily had promised that she would cover for them. But the last thing she wanted to do was to spend two hours alone with James.

She grabbed her wand with difficulty and undid the charm on her door.

"I don't feel so well," she replied masking her voice with sickly sweetness, "Do you mind if I don't go tonight?"

James could identify a lie anywhere. He was the master of lying. Just the other day he had to lie to get out of detention. Anyway, she wasn't making much of a point to cover her lie.

"Fine Lily," he said. "Are you okay?" He might as well let her get away with it as he wasn't about to bust her.

He could barely hear a reply but was fairly certain there was one.

"I'll see you later then."

In her room, Lily grumbled out softly, "Yeah right. Not if I can help it." Satisfied with being able to skip patrol, she smiled and returned to her Mr. Darcy.

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"Oh Craig," she said huskily as she pushed him against the wall. He resisted.

"Why are you with him," he ground out as he pushed Lynne off him. His dark brown eyes were ice cold and filled with anger.

It hurt _her _to see _him_ hurt. "Don't do this now, please?" she begged.

"If not now then when? We never have any time together," he said angrily.

"Craig," she said in a low voice as she kissed him softly on the cheek.

"I." Another soft kiss, this time on his chin.

"Love." One on the corner of his lips.

"Don't say it," he said pulling away, "when you don't mean it."

She stumbled backwards. "I don't mean it? _What are you talking about! _If I didn't mean it, would I be here with you?"

"If you did mean it, would you be there with him?" he countered.

He had a point.

"I'll end it with him soon," she promised softly, switching tactics.

"That's what you said last week. And the week before that. And the week before that."

"I will," she begged, willing herself not to break.

He seemed to have sensed this because he softened his voice. "I know you want the popularity and all. I know that's you. But I won't wait along forever, being your lover or man whore – which I'm not quite sure yet."

She nodded silently.

"Three weeks Lynne. If not, I'm out." He was giving her the ultimatum.

She nodded again.

And then he kissed her, and she let herself loose.

"What if he sees," he asked between a kiss.

"He won't, he doesn't have patrol tonight." She had checked the schedule.

There was no response, only kissing.

She pushed him down the steps slowly and he lifted her by the waist onto the teachers desk. She wrapped her long legs around him and ran a hand through his buzz-cut brown hair. She reveled the sensation in herself.

"So you really are cheating on me," came a voice from the now opened door. The voice was filled with sadness, but that was all. No anger, no jealously. She hated him for that. She couldn't open her eyes. The other cursed himself for not locking the door.

Then the door slammed shut. The sound riveted off the stone walls and echoed for seconds afterwards.


	23. Sorry

**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Harry Potter or any of the places or characters created by JkRowling**

**Note: I had added the Jodie/Remus part in because I felt that she was getting a little left out in all that was happening. There will be more coming, but only a little in this chapter. And again review review review please:)  
Thanks to everyone who did. It's appreciated. And check on the oneshot I wrote. It's a little different.**

**I'm really unsure about this chapter. I think it's a little jumpy, what do you think? I just wanted to get a chapter in before the weekend because I'm going to be busy probably all the way until tuesday.**

**This one might be redone? maybe.**

**Anyways. Thanks again!**

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_I'm a bastard. A horrible horrible guy. How could I have not believed Lily? _

Those were the thoughts that had been running through James' mind all night after he had caught Lynne with Craig.

Before all of this had happened, before he had stupidly gone out with that girl, Lily had at least reacted to his actions.

James still remembered the way she would look at him, with flaming eyes and pink cheeks. She would have her hands on her hips, looking all the more enticing. She would yell at him, curse him or hex him. But now….now all she did was ignore.

James missed those days – he never thought he'd say that. Not only did Lily ignore him now, she avoided him like the plague.

And he? He was avoiding her as well.

If he knew it would do anything, he would gladly swallow his pride, get on his knees and beg for forgiveness. Unfortunately, Lily was as stubborn as one could get.

James couldn't look Lily in the eye anymore when he knew that he had been the one to cause the hurt in her eyes. As a result, he took to avoiding her as much as possible.

After dinner, James changed into his quidditch robes and went outside for a run. It was an hour until practice still, but that made no difference to him. After a few laps, he got on his broom and began ascending into the night. The wind bit into his skin, and the cold made his eyes tear. That was his excuse at least.

Meanwhile inside, Remus, Sirius, Beth and Jodie were all talking after dinner. Lily had made an excuse and scurried away immediately after, assuming James would be in the common room. Peter had gone missing once again.

"Where'd she go?" asked Sirius about Lily.

"Tutoring some second year in the library I think. I don't really know anymore," replied Beth, glancing at the closed portrait hole. "Where's James?"

Sirius pointed at the window. In the distance, a small figure could be seen.

"I'm worried about them," said Beth.

Sirius pulled her into his lap and replied, "Don't be. They'll figure it out."

She wanted to respond, but Sirius was distracting her. "Stop it!" she exclaimed merrily while swatting his hand playfully. "This is serious."

Sirius smiled. For once, he didn't crack his serious-Sirius joke.

"What if they're never going to be friends again? What if they're going to hate each other forever?" asked Beth as she tucked her head into the crook of her boyfriend's neck.

She sighed when he stroked her hair lightly. "They're so perfect for each other."

Sirius lowered his lips to her ear and whispered softly. "Like us." He smiled when Beth kissed him softly on the chin. So far, kissing was all they had been doing and somehow, Sirius was alright with that.

Bickering brought the two back to reality.

"Always have to be her white knight in shining armor eh Remus?" said Jodie harshly as she leaped up from her sitting position.

"What are you talking about Jodie?" asked Remus.

Truthfully, Jodie didn't even know. She just knew Remus had something to do with James unveiling the mask of Lynne. That shouldn't matter to her though. It was a good thing. She had always hated that girl anyways. So why did it make her heart tighten and her stomach turn?

In one swift movement, she turned around and stomped out of the room, leaving three confused friends in her wake.

"Don't worry. I'll go see what's happening," said Beth immediately as she slowly pulled out of Sirius' embrace. She laughed when Sirius held her hand and didn't let go. When he begrudgingly released her, she bounded the stairs to find her friend.

"What was that all about?" asked Sirius as he watched his girlfriend disappear behind the corner.

"I was checking out the map last night and saw Lynne and Craig in a room together, so I told James to check it out," explained Remus. "I don't see what she's so upset about."

"Knight in shining armor?"

"Not a clue what that's all about," said Remus.

"Girls," laughed Sirius. "Can't live with them…"

Remus finished for his friend. "Can't live without them."

The two laughed, but both were conscious of the fact that the other two of the four were nowhere to be seen.

"Well, I better get to the quidditch meeting," said Sirius as he went to his room to change.

Remus never replied though – he was too caught up in his own thoughts. _Maybe it was time for a Marauders plan._

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A week flew by quickly as Christmas month donned on them. December had finally arrived, along with a layer of fresh snow on the ground. Hogwarts was covered in glorious pure white, and the general mood of the school seemed to be lighter and happier. That is, except for the group of friends that had to deal with Lily and James.

It had been two weeks. Two silent weeks. Two long silent weeks for James and Lily and their friends were beginning to get sick.

"Prongs, can I talk to you for a minute?" asked Remus that morning out of the blue.

James looked around the hall to make sure that patch of flaming red hair was nowhere in sight. Not that he expected it to be. "Yeah, what's up?"

Remus was about to answer before he was interrupted by a certain blonde haired girl.

"Excuse me Remus, but can I talk to James?"

Turning around, Remus came face to face with Lynne. He sent a questioning look to James, who nodded stiffly in reply. "Alright, find me nearby after okay James? We still need to talk." He sent a meaningful look to his friend saying, this better not be what I think it is, before he walked away.

"Sooo…" began Lynne, who looked around nervously. James said nothing to help her.

She sighed. "Okay James, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry okay?" She looked up to see if she would be getting any response. There was none.

Lynne knew she could very well plead with James and beg for forgiveness. She knew it would've worked too, but the thought of Craig stopped her. He wouldn't wait forever and she knew she couldn't lose him. Love may not be one way to describe their relationship, but it was something close.

And in that moment, the heart of the ice queen melted just a fraction. And in that moment of weakness, she said what no one had dared to say to James. She said what no one had wanted to bring up to James.

"Go get her James, because if you don't, someone else will take you place and mend her broken heart," Lynne smiled. "She won't wait forever."

James couldn't help but snort in disbelief. His silence broke. "And who are you to say this?" he asked harshly.

The moment was gone for Lynne as she replied, "You knew what this was before our relationship started James. And if you didn't, then you're just as much to blame. You wanted to use me, and I wanted to use you." She glared at him, "It was as simple as that."

She raised one perfectly manicured nail to his chest before turning her hand around, pushing back her hair, and strutting away from the boy.

"You look stunned," said Remus as he reappeared around the corner.

"I think I was just cheated on, then got relationship advice from my ex, then got blamed for her cheating and told off," said James as Remus pulled him towards the great hall for breakfast.

"Relationship advice?" questioned Remus as he chuckled.

"Yeah," answered James absentmindedly as his thoughts strayed back to the advice. Unknowingly, he voiced his question aloud. "Does Lily really like me?"

"I think she did."

James blinked. "What?"

"I think she did," Remus repeated.

_Did._

"And I think," said Remus, "it's time you did something about it. Stop avoiding her James."

"Maybe," he replied, but Remus knew James wasn't really considering it much.

"At least stop avoiding all your friends just to avoid her," demanded the boy, "We all miss you James."

James turned to give his friend a reassuring smile.

"I miss you guys too."

_Phase one, complete, _thought Remus happily.

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James sat in the head's common room feeling sure he wouldn't see Lily when he heard a voice from outside the entrance mutter the password, ad Libitum.

He didn't have anytime to escape, so he sat there with his head in the book in his hands, not reading it at all.

He barely recognized Lily talking to him.

"Potter," she demanded.

He nearly fell off the couch. "Yes?" he asked meekly.

"Christmas is coming and we need to do something as heads," she replied shortly. It killed her inside to not talk to him, to have to act so emotionless around him. It saddened her to just not see him and Lily resented him for that.

"Right," he said dumbly. After a pause, he seemed to have regained some of his composure as he pointed to the couch opposite him.

Lily walked to it slowly, as if it were a trap. When she sat down, James could see that she was tense and uncomfortable.

_Better make this short then Potter, _he told himself.

"How about a ball?" he suggested.

"We just did that for Halloween, don't you remember," she said. She immediately regretted saying that. It brought out the memories she had been trying to forget, and it reminded James of the memories that had been haunting him ever since that day.

He nodded.

There seemed to be an endless pause as the two young people sat there, watching each other.

Finally, Lily cleared her throat. "Um," she hesitated.

Upon seeing an encouraging look on James' face, she continued. "Well, with my other friends, the muggles, we always used to play this game. It's called secret Santa." She stopped suddenly, as if unsure whether she should keep going or not.

"Go on."

"Well, everyone who plays puts their names in a hat, and then afterwards, everyone draws a name out of it. You have to give the person you pulled out a present on Christmas, but they can't know who you are."

Lily waited nervously as James pondered in silence.

James had an idea and he would need the Marauder's help for it.

He snapped out of his thoughts to see Lily looking extremely worried and it was then that he realized he had yet to say anything.

"I think it's a great idea. I'll work on getting names and giving them, while you can work on making posters to post in the rooms. We can make this for the people who stay over the break."

Lily quickly nodded and even gave him a small smile before realizing what she was doing. "Right then, bye…Potter."

She hastily exited the room, leaving a happy James in the wake.

Lily had talked to him, even smiled to him. It was a start.

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"Lily come on!"

"We _always_ play in the first snow of the year, it's like tradition."

"I don't know guys."

"Every year, you're the one making us go so stop complaining and go already."

"But what if James is there?"

"He and Lynne already broke up though!"

_Which makes me all the more susceptible to losing my heart again. _

"Please Lils," begged Beth with the saddest expression she could muster. Jodie soon caught on.

"Okay okay!" relented Lily with a giggle. "You two are impossible."

The two girls jumped up in triumph and began forcing Lily to dance. Lily just rolled her eyes and played along.

"So outside before dinner alright James? We'll meet you there."

"Mmhmm sure," he said as he copied the notes from the board onto his paper.

Silently, Remus and Sirius high fived behind his back.

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"Where are they?" muttered James as he paced in the cold. The snow had been ruined beneath his footsteps.

He began to wander around aimlessly until he saw the familiar image of windswept red hair. _Lily._

Lily was outside as well, angry at her two friends. They had somehow disappeared and left her waiting in the cold. _So much for playing together in the snow. _

Then, she spotted a boy marching purposefully towards her – in all his messy black haired glory.

"I think we were set up." That was the first thing he said to her.

Her mouth formed the shape of an 'o' and James laughed without knowing it. Lily blushed.

_Walk away Lily, _she commanded herself. But she couldn't.

James knew he had to do something to make Lily forgive him, and he also knew this was his only chance. It was now or never for the Potter charm to kick in.

"I'm sorry," he said. James mentally scolded himself. Potter charm, yeah right.

"If that was your apology, that was a wretched one," Lily replied.

Then, a light clicked in his head. "That wasn't it," he smiled.

Suddenly, pink lily petals began falling around them. The soft pink blended with the falling white snow and Lily marveled at the beauty. The petals danced around Lily, twirling around her with the girl in the center. It was a flurry of pink and white. She gasped when the petals began forming a message in the air for all of Hogwarts to see.

_Lily Amelia Evans,_

_Potter the giant squid who you would never ever go out with is_

_Incredibly incredibly so so sorry for everything._

_Very sorry._

_Terribly sorry._

Lily spun around searching for James. She found him holding a bundle of white roses – her favourite. He looked at her sheepishly, searching for a response. His hair was covered in white, as well as his black cloak. His scarf's colour was now hard to tell, but Lily knew it was red and yellow. His thin wired glasses were covered in snow. When had it began snowing so hard. His nose was red and his cheeks were aswell, but his eyes were as penetrating as ever.

She almost smiled.

She almost cried.

But all she did was turn around and sprint as fast as she could towards the school.

"All right. I deserved that," said James under his breath as the petals dissolved in the air.


	24. Forgiven? Not quite

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine in any way as you probably know.**

**Note: Sorry for taking a while. **

**This is a more Lily x James chapter. I'm thinking the next one will be one where Lily will head off with James, Beth and Sirius, Peter off somewhere, Remus and Jodie and Frank and Alice. How's that sound? It might be a little off story line though, but it'll have some cute fluff.  
**

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At the moment, they were in transfiguration class together. The task for the day was to transform a rat, which was constantly moving, into a white dog with a brown spot on its left eye. The task had been a breeze for James and he had completed it easily at the beginning of class. Now he spent his time watching his classmates, regarding their distorted animal appearances and hearing their cries of frustration. Amidst these cries, he distinctly heard the soft cursing of Lily Evans.

Three rows directly in front of him was the familiar mass of red hair, shining ever so slightly in the light of the room. James felt the urge to run his hand through it and see if it felt as soft as it looked. He could imagine her green eyes, but no longer was the image in his head of shining happy eyes – they were replaced with unbearable pain-filled eyes. It tore him apart just thinking about how Lily had ran from him.

The hair on Lily's back pricked as she felt someone's gaze lingering on her. She concentrated harder on pointing her wand at the small helpless rat frantically trying to escape. She felt sorry for the creature – she wanted to escape too, none more so than at this moment. The eyes boring into her back were unnerving. She had a feeling she knew who it was but she didn't want to be right.

"Aha!" she triumphed looking at the white puppy in front of her. She looked up to find the teacher. She turned around when she didn't see her in front of the class. Instead of finding Professor McGonagall, she locked eyes with soft hazel ones.

Lily didn't look away until she realized the teacher had arrived beside her and was congratulating her on completing the task second. She quickly averted her gaze.

"Second?" questioned Lily, wondering who had finished it before her.

"Mr. Potter finished a few minutes ago," the teacher responded.

Lily nodded her head mutely, condemning herself for the lapse of memory. Of course James had finished – he was the best in the class.

She turned around to look at him one more time, and looked away almost immediately when she realized he had yet to look away. It was at that moment that James knew Lily had yet to forgive him.

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Lily was dismissed early from her next class and she spent the time sitting in the head's common room. There had been an accident in Herbology and the professor had let them all go while he took care of everything.

She stood up from the couch and headed to James' room, intending to shut the door that he had left open. She couldn't resist the urge to look inside. He was at a quidditch practice and wouldn't be returning anytime soon so there was no risk of getting caught.

Slowly, she stepped into the room. Immediately, she could feel that this room was made for James, similarly to how her room was made for her. It spoke 'James' although Lily wondered how she knew that.

On the wall, a picture of a happy James, Sirius, Remus and Peter was waving brightly at her. She figured it was taken a few years ago. There was only one more picture in the room that he could see, and it was a picture of James and her earlier this year when they had decided to be friends. She sighed wistfully.

He had his signature look going on in the picture, right down to his cocky smirk and messy black hair. The miniature James was turning his head back and forth slowly, smiling at herself in the picture, and then smiling at the real Lily. Lily on the other hand was waving in the picture. It was a nice picture. Lily couldn't believe he had kept it, and she willed herself not to wonder if Lynne had seen it as well. Surely Lynne had been in this room?

Lily shook her head to erase those thoughts. To be honest, Lily didn't want it to be like before. She didn't want to hate James. Remembering the many years she had spent rejecting him, she felt regret rush into her veins. She **wanted** to forget him. She wanted to so badly, yet she didn't want to be the love-struck school girl like so many of the girls at Hogwarts. She was not going to fall, waiting for James to sweep in and pick her up. Just because Lily had liked him – liked him – didn't mean she would forgive him easily. She just wasn't like that.

The clock in the room struck 12, signaling lunch. James would be back for a shower soon so she quickly set the picture back down and exited, closing the door softly just as the portrait hole swung open.

She smiled at him briefly before hurrying to her own room.

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"You and James are okay now right?" asked Jodie as she caught up with Lily in the hall.

Lily turned to look at her blonde friend."What makes you say that?"

"Well, I mean, the whole _school_ saw the words in the air yesterday. Actually, a quarter of the school population saw, but the whole school knows anyways." Jodie laughed, but stopped when she realized Lily wasn't finding it amusing. "You guys aren't all right," she stated. It wasn't a question, rather, a statement.

"So that was what everyone was whispering about this morning," snorted Lily disbelievingly, "it's none of their business."

"According to them, the girls anyways…"

"Yeah yeah I know, James Potter **is** their business," Lily finished for her friend. "To answer your question, no we aren't alright. I sort of just ran."

The last part came off almost silently.

"Pardon, didn't catch the last part," said Jodie.

Lily cleared her throat. "I ran." She continued when she saw the disgusted look on her friend's face. "What was I supposed to do? He ignored me, yelled at me, didn't believe me, and hurt me."

"I know Lils."

"He's just like..William."

"James isn't like William, at all." Jodie's voice was firm and convincing.

"Right, and I'm Snape's best friend forever," said Lily sarcastically.

"You know he isn't like that," Jodie accused.

Lily relented as she rolled her eyes. "Fine, he isn't like him, but he's still pretty bad."

"Come on Lily, he feels sorry," Jodie said, "Remus said he was almost crying last night."

"Almost crying," Lily laughed hysterically, "I **was** crying for weeks before and it was because of him!"

"You wanted this year to be different, you wanted to change, so take a chance."

"I did by being his friend – look where that turned out."

"Jane Evans wouldn't give him another chance," said Jodie giving a pointed look to Lily, "See you in the great hall in a few minutes." She walked away briskly without glancing back, her blonde hair swishing back and forth behind her.

Lily stood silently for a few seconds before recovering and yelling, "that won't work every time Williams!" Lily could feel her friend's smile radiating off her and hitting Lily square in the chest because Jodie and Lily both knew that that **would** work every time.

A few minutes later, Lily felt three people sliding into the seats beside her. She looked up to find Alice, Beth and Jodie who still had that annoying smirk on her face. Beth too was smirking, a perfect copy of Sirius' smirk. Only Alice had a kind smile on her face and Lily found that a comfort from her two conspiring best friends.

"Okay, I forgive him."

The three cheered loudly, earning looks from the people around them. Luckily, none of the Marauders were around. Lily thought they were probably off pulling another prank. _You can't take the boy out of a man, _she thought silently.

"But don't tell him that," Lily said as an afterthought. "I think he should earn his forgiveness."

Jodie smiled knowingly. Time for James to do some serious groveling.

"If it means anything Lils, I think you're doing the right thing," said Alice, patting her friend on the back.

"And being the better person," added Beth, before taking a sip of her juice.

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A few days earlier, Lily had briefly told James to organize the drawing of names for secret Santa for this lunch. She wouldn't blame James if he didn't show though, because she barely heard herself saying it. But Lily didn't have to worry because James showed up on time, with a santa hat in his hand.

As James walked in, Lily felt a wave of relief over her. He hadn't forgotten this time. She stood up when James walked by and followed behind him. Professor Heegal, who was one of the few teachers eating lunch at the teachers' table today stood up and tapped her cup, requesting silence.

James and Lily walked to the front and waited for the students' attentions. Lily pointed her wand at James' throat and muttered a spell. Then, she repeated the action for her own voice.

"Excuse me," said James. He was surprised his voice was a lot louder than normal, and sent a grateful look to Lily. She only nodded briefly, still fixing her eyes on everybody.

"You all know Christmas is arriving soon," he paused to allow for the stray cheers and comments, "so we're organizing this event for all students who choose to remain at Hogwarts over their break. Any student can enter, first years included."

Lily continued, "If you choose to participate, you simply write your name on a piece of paper and enter it into this hat." She pointed at the red hat beside her. "The hat will cease accepting names on December seventh. Whoever signed up will then have to request a name from the hat, which will be located outside of this room. If it recognizes your name, it will sputter out a random sheet of paper. You will be the secret santa for this person."

"You will have until Christmas morning to prepare a gift for this person. They cannot know who you are, and so you are not allowed to tell any of your friends who you got. You can choose to reveal yourself after Christmas morning or not, it's up to you," finished James.

"Thank you," said Lily, before she stepped off the stage. Immediately, a frenzy of excited whispers broke out around the room.

Nearby, James heard a second year Ravenclaw whisper, "this Christmas is finally going to be a little different."

James smiled. This Christmas was definitely going to be different, especially for Lily. If he got his way, the Marauders and himself should be able to bribe the hat into giving him the name of his choice – Lily. Then his plan to win her back would be well on the way.

James all but skipped out of the hall, returning to his friends to complete their newest attack on the Slytherins.

Only 23 days left until Christmas, but who's counting?


	25. Teddy

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: Sorry for taking a while – I had a lot of work and I couldn't come up with a good chapter idea. Little change of plans.  
Review please!**

**So I was wondering, would you guys like more of Jodie and Remus things happening, or Beth and Sirius next chapter.  
**

**I REPOSTED THIS CHAPTER BECAUSE I FOUND SOME MISTAKES. IF YOU HAVE READ IT, THERE ARE ONLY GRAMMATICAL CHANGES, SORRY.**

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Lily opened the door of her room and immediately looked down. On the floor lay a single, fragile white tulip – the flower of forgiveness. Underneath the flower was the word _Sorry_ written on a piece of parchment paper in the unmistakable penmanship of James Potter. Lily bent down and picked it up, placing it into a vase with 8 other of these flowers.

The tulips had been appearing everyday for the past four days, once in the morning when she first came out, and once before she went in. She stepped back to admire the bouquet of flowers and smiled. There was no doubt James Potter was a charmer.

The next morning, Lily rose and got ready for class once again. She slipped on a grey tanktop and jeans with the Hogwarts sweater on top. As she tied up her hair and picked up her bag, she pulled the door open. She froze mid-step.

Where was the flower?

It was nowhere to be seen.

She frantically looked around, wondering if maybe someone had taken it. That would be impossible though, as this was the head dorm. Only two people could enter this room – James and herself. The only explanation Lily could come up with was James had simply not placed one here today.

Lily spun around and slammed the door shut. James could hear the force in which she the door was closed as he attempted to push down his unruly hair to no avail. He slowly sauntered out of the room, careful to ensure Lily had already left. He didn't need to worry though, as she had already flown out the room to find Beth and Jodie.

"Beth!" she yelled as she spotted her friends heading to breakfast. "Jodie!"

"What's wrong Lily?"

"He didn't send one today, that's what's wrong."

"Maybe he just forgot?" suggested Beth, sending a glance to Jodie. _What was James planning?_

Jodie shrugged in reply. "I'm sure there was a reason."

"No."

"No?"

"No, I shouldn't have made him wait for a week. I should've told him I forgave him," Lily said hysterically with her eyes wide. "Now he's given up and he probably hates me! It's all my fault."

"Lils, James could never hate you."

"Yeah he could, like when he was with Lynne."

"That was different," said Jodie as she ushered her friends into the hall. She was getting hungry.

Lily ignored the comment. "What do I do now? I knew this was a bad idea. I knew it! I knew it!"

"Calm down Lily, just see how today plays out first ok?"

"I knew it! I knew it!" exclaimed Lily, more to herself than anyone else as she plopped down ungracefully into her seat. She rested her chin on the palms of her hands as she watched James from the corner of her eye.

He was looking awfully happy; disgustingly happy in Lily's opinion. Then she sighed dejectedly and watched her plate fill up with food.

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Much of the day continued in a similar fashion; James as gloriously joyful as ever, and Lily, as worried as could be. In fact, James looked happier than he had been in the past month put together.

By dinner, Lily was desperate. She hadn't been paying attention all day, opting to scribble angrily at herself on the borders of her papers during class instead of taking notes. And she realized that she didn't **want** to lose James, as a friend of course. She never meant for this to happen.

"Oh Lily, cheer up," said Alice the moment she saw Lily during dinner. She had noticed Lily's glum demeanor all day and was worried. Lily was always bright and cheerful, and even if she was sad, she always tried to hide it.

Lily didn't hear her friend though, as she had just noticed James was missing from the group of three who were walking this way.

Sirius was the first to arrive and he bent down to kiss Beth on her cheek. She smiled and pulled him into the empty seat beside her. Remus and Peter followed up behind him, but both seemed uncomfortable. Peter immediately went for the food whilst Remus began talking to Frank and Alice, ignoring both Jodie and Lily.

For the first time in the past 10 hours, Lily's thoughts turned away from James and it was a pleasant escape. She turned to Jodie and whispered, "You talk with Remus alright? I'm going to go back to my room."

"Lily!" she protested, but Lily cut her off.

"I'm not hungry anyways."

Lily was stopped from leaving once again when Sirius called after her. "Lily wait!"

"What Sirius?" She turned around to face him, putting her hands on her hips.

Noticing the exchange, Remus quietly opened a piece of paper under the table and murmured, "I solemnly swear I am up…" while Sirius stalled Lily.

The dot marking James Potter wasn't on the map.

"He's not back yet Padfoot," said Remus under his breath.

"Well?" Lily asked, blowing hair off her face getting more irritated by the second. She just wanted to go back to her room.

"I was hoping I didn't have to do this," said Sirius out loud thoughtfully as he nudged Peter, who took the cue and uttered a spell with his wand pointed at the doors of the great hall.

Hundreds of mini-rockets began shooting in, each with names printed on them. The unfortunate students to have their names on one of the rockets began desperately running away from the attacking objects.

"SIRIIIUUSSSS!" screamed Lily, ducking just in time to avoid a rocket slamming against her head.

Sirius turned and gave his friends high fives while wrapping his arm around his girlfriend, who was trying to push away and help her best friend.

Remus tucked the map back into his robe carefully after whispering, "Mischief managed."

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It was about an hour before Lily finally managed to return to her room. Her hair was a disheveled mess, due to the many flying objects zooming past her, and her stomach was grumbling. There was a hole burned through her favourite pair of jeans as well, not to mention she hadn't started out in the greatest mood in the first place.

She walked into her room, not noticing nor caring whether James was there or not, and fell onto her bed. She closed her eyes and let her head sink into the heavenly pillow it was resting on. Suddenly she felt something soft and warm against her leg. Something moving.

Her eyes popped open and she sat up with a start, immediately raising her wand.

There in front of her, was a whimpering terrier puppy, with big beady eyes and snow white hair.

Lily stared at the puppy, at first with suspicious eyes. _Why was there a dog in her room? Dogs weren't allowed at Hogwarts, at least, not that Lily knew of. _

Nevertheless, Lily couldn't help put pet the animal in affection. Dogs were perhaps her favourite animals. She had wanted to bring one to Hogwarts in her first year, but Diagon Alley didn't sell them and she decided she didn't need to stand out any more than she already had to.

The dog nuzzled her hand briefly before she picked it up and placed it onto her lap.

"What's your name buddy?" she asked, scratching the crook behind its ears.

Suddenly, it stood up on her lap and trotted to the edge of the bed, pawing at the mattress.

"Do you want to get down?" Lily asked as she cocked her head to the side. "Alright then."

She lifted the dog to the ground and watched it walk to her dresser. Midway, the dog turned around as if asking Lily to follow it. She did.

When she arrived at the dresser, she found a blue velvet box on her table, along with a two white tulips.

_Sorry. _

She sat down on her chair and lifted the puppy into her lap. Then she moved the flowers aside and took the box into her hands.

She slowly opened it, revealing a beautiful silver bracelet. It was two thin strands, each with small diamond hearts all along it. Lily fingered the metal. _Perfect, _was the only word to describe it. And it was.

It was perfect for Lily. Silver was her favourite for jewellery, and diamonds as well. She liked simple things, simple and beautiful, nothing too eye-catching.

She snapped the box shut and picked up the dog. Then she walked out of her room.

She found James sitting in the common room, staring at the fire. She walked up behind him quietly and said three simple words.

Three simple, meaningful words.

But not the three words that she truly wanted to say.

"I forgive you."

"Come here Lily," said James without turning his head to face her. He opened his arms wide and Lily obediently sat beside him, letting him hug her.

James didn't want to let go.

Lily didn't want James to let go.

But he did. "It's a he," he said.

"What?"

"The dog."

"Oh. Right. Thanks for him James," she said, gulping from the beating in her heart, the aching in her body. She yearned for his touch again.

"So you like him?" James asked hopefully.

"Love him, but I think he needs a name." She looked down at the dog lying comfortably on their laps. She contemplated names for it.

"Teddy," said Lily. "Is that okay?"

"Hey, it's your dog," laughed James – the first real laugh of his in a while. Today he had been deliriously happy, anticipating tonight, but by the time he left to pick up the gifts, he had realized he wouldn't be truly happy until Lily forgave him.

"It's our dog," decided Lily at that moment.

"Our dog?"

She nodded.

"Teddy it is then," James consented, picking Teddy up and placing him onto the floor. "I think Teddy will have to be our little secret though," he added thoughtfully.

"What do you mean?"

"Well…" James smiled sheepishly. "Jodie said you always wanted a dog when you were small and…"

"The teachers don't know about him do they?" asked Lily disbelievingly. James looked at her with pleading hazel eyes.

Lily laughed. "You're lucky I love him," she said. _And you. _

James smiled. He proceeded to enter his room and return with a big bag. "For Teddy," he said merrily, "I couldn't resist and I knew you'd keep him."

Then he dug into the bag and brought out a small purple ball. He rolled it on the ground, "Go Teddy go!"

The terrier bounded up in chase for the ball, with James close behind. "Too slow Teddy," he shouted as he kicked the ball further away from the dog, who responded by pouncing after it.

Lily sat on the couch, smiling happily at the scene in front of her.

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Lily yawned and rubbed her eyes. She didn't remember falling asleep. Then she noticed she was still in her Hogwarts sweater and her jeans from the day before.

_Had James brought her in here? _She wondered, blush creeping onto her skin.

She looked around the room to see if there was any clue he had been in here.

There was none.

Except the jacket from Halloween night had been touched. Lily didn't know how she knew, but she did. She got up and walked over to where the jacket lay hanging over her bedpost.

She hoped he wouldn't ever forget that night, because she wouldn't ever.

Lily quickly pushed the thought out of her head. No use dwelling in the past, now that the future looked so much brighter.

She smiled happily and went to check on Teddy, who now resided in the common area, before heading to the washroom.

It was going to be a good weekend.


	26. Wingless Bird

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: Review Please:)  
And thank you all so much who have reviewed! **

**ok so, this chapter may not be as good. It was difficult to write the Jodie and Remus part because as of this moment, they aren't romantically involved or anything, just friends so...I hope that it's ok. I would love reviews.  
And I'm estimating at this moment that this story will be about 40 chapters?  
For the next 1 or 2 chapters, I want to build friendships.  
Then it will be Christmas!:)**

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The bright morning sun blinded Jodie's eyes as she sat up on her bed. She extended her arms and yawned loudly before throwing her pillow at her best friend who was currently curled up under the blanket of her own bed.

"Wake up," she grumbled. She slid out from under the caressing warmth of her covers and shivered at the coolness of the room. Jodie immediately slipped back into her bed and fell back onto her now pillow-less bed. Pulling the blanket up to her chin, she closed her eyes once again. "Five more minutes."

Half an hour later, their room was a mess. The three girls were storming around the area wildly.

"Get out of the bloody bathroom Beth!" screamed Jodie as she plopped onto the ground outside the door. Her clothes were on, her hair was done and she had already applied some make up, she just needed to brush her teeth and she'd be ready.

Jodie was about to kick the door again when Beth stumbled out of the bathroom. "I'm out, I'm out!"

She stood up and headed to the bathroom, only to be beaten by her other friend.

"Aliicceeeee!"

In a muffled voice, Jodie heard Alice laugh loudly. She groaned, this was not a good start.

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Three hours later, three of the Marauders came dashing down the stairs in a race to see who would make it first.

"I win!" shouted Peter happily as he jumped from the fourth step and landed loudly on the ground.

The two other boys followed suit.

As they headed towards the door, they caught sight of three girls sprawled across the large pillows lying in front of the fireplace. Quietly, the crept towards them and noticed their even breathing and peaceful expressions.

Using his hands, Sirius instructed Remus to go to Jodie and Peter to go to Alice. Leaning down until Sirius' mouth was merely centimeters from Beth's ear, he whispered, "Boo!"

Remus and Peter did the same.

All three girls jolted up at once, screaming loudly. Unfortunately for the boys, they also sat up and in the process; Jodie's hard head collided with Remus' equally hard nose.

The result was a deafening _crack _sound.

Remus stumbled back a bit and held his nose helplessly.

"Sorry," she said whilst looking downwards, holding her left hand to the sore spot.

"My fault," said Remus in a nasally voice. Then he turned to Sirius. "We're never doing that again. I think I broke my nose."

Jodie grinned sheepishly, but winced when the movement of skin on her face increased the pain in her head.

Alice was the one that spoke next. "Off to the hospital wing you go," Alice said as she helped Jodie stand.

Both the two injured people groaned.

_Hospital wing again, _thought Remus amusedly, _story of my life. _

Sirius spent the whole way apologizing to Beth, who spent the whole time telling Sirius that she was in fact not mad and should be apologizing to the injured people, not her. Sirius was never one to listen.

"Sirius, it's okay!" she cried. She spotted Lily walking out of the Head's dorm at that moment. "Lily help me, this guy here is driving me insane. James?"

Beth was confused. Were they not fighting? Now they were walking out of the dorm together while talking…_talking!_

The group paused to allow James and Lily to catch up. "What happened to them?" asked James as he fell into step between Remus and Sirius.

"What happened to you guys?" asked Remus in the same nasally voice. He wasn't asking James though, he was asking Lily, Jodie noted.

She felt her heart sink a little.

"We're friends now," she exclaimed, and to prove it, she linked arms with James and skipped forward a few steps, dragging the unwilling James with her.

James looked back at his friends. Peter was walking silently by himself, slightly behind everyone. Sirius was pestering Beth about something. She looked like she was going to wring his neck any moment. James guessed Remus was smiling, although he couldn't really tell with his hand covering his mouth. Alice was talking to Jodie, but the other girl didn't seem to be listening but…looking at Remus? No, it couldn't be.

After a few more skips, Lily took her hand back and James immediately felt the lack of warmth that had been radiating from her small hand. He didn't complain though. A day ago, getting her to even look at him had been a difficulty.

Before James could go deeper into thought though, they had arrived at the doors of the hospital wing.

"You guys go ahead, I'll probably be here all day," Remus said.

"Why?" asked Alice, "It's just a broken nose, does it take that long?"

James answered for his friend, "Remus has a fan club in the hospital. Madame Pomfrey loves to keep him there as long as possible." Remus playfully shoved James when he said this.

"Look who's talking," laughed Remus, but stopping quickly as he felt pain coursing from his nose to his head.

"Whatever," James said as he brushed off the tease with ease. "We'll go if you don't mind."

Remus nodded and so did Jodie.

"Breakfast then?" asked Lily once the two had disappeared. Agreeing, the group began their way to the great hall.

Peter and Sirius sped up to talk to James, while the girls walked a few meters back.

"Shouldn't have doubted him," said Peter to Sirius, intentionally loud so that James could hear it.

James punched Peter lightly in the shoulder, "Shut up."

"Hey, it was a compliment!" he defended. James shook his head in exasperation.

"Quiet down at least."

"Besides Wormtail, they're **just friends. **No need to worry just yet," said Sirius easily, casually looking at the girls behind him. "Still don't think he can do it."

James didn't speak.

"Right, I mean, it took him three months to get here. Besides, he probably ruined it with the whole Lynne jealously thing," Peter added

James growled quietly, "Don't remind me about that."

"How does it feel Prongs, to be **cheated** on," laughed Sirius. It wasn't an insult though, as they had all laughed about it in the past already.

"How does it feel Padfoot, to be whipped," retorted James before looking back at Beth. Sirius and Peter followed his gaze, and when Beth noticed Sirius' eyes, she looked up and smiled.

Sirius felt his heart skip a beat, not that he'd show it.

"I'm not whipped," he denied, refusing to allow it.

"Right, and I'm not going to win the bet. Fat chance," James said with a smirk.

Feeling better about himself, he threw a wink at a group of girls nearby.

Thankfully, Lily didn't notice.

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"Names!" exclaimed Lily happily once she saw the red and white Christmas hat floating a meter of the ground on the right of the large doors of the great hall.

Beth and Alice shared a smile. Lily had told them of what James had done to apologize, and they had both told her once again that they were proud of her for forgiving him. They hadn't seen Lily this happy in a while.

Honestly, Lily hadn't felt this happy in a long time. She truthfully couldn't remember the last time she felt this way. Maybe before William, she thought, but the thought of him no longer bothered her.

Once they had reached the hat after a short line up, they went to draw names one my one.

Lily went first. She stuck her hand into the empty hat and waited. Mere seconds later, she felt a slip of paper appear inside her hand and she pulled it out. Stepping away, she quickly read the name.

James went next. He pulled out a piece of paper as well. It said:

_Gryffindor. Lily Evans._

He smiled and gave Sirius and Peter high fives. Never underestimate the brilliance of a Marauder. It had worked.

Sirius was after, followed by Peter and Beth. Alice wouldn't be staying for Christmas so she hadn't signed up.

As the entered the breakfast room, the excitement in the air was palpable. Hushed whispers were all over, with bright smiles on everyone's faces including the group of friends that had just entered.

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"So…" said Remus, trying to break the silence that consumed the room. Apparently, today no one had gotten injured and the nurse wanted some company. Hence, Remus was sitting on a hospital bed with a white bandage over his nose.

"So…" said Jodie, sitting in a chair beside him. She hadn't had any serious injuries but she stayed all the same.

"You don't have to stay you know."

"I know," answered Jodie, but she made no move to leave so Remus nodded.

Silence ensued.

Suddenly, both people spoke up at once.

"How's your head?"

"How's your nose?"

Remus laughed out loud at that, erasing the tension in the room. Jodie loved his laugh. She loved his voice. It was sensual, and soothing. It made her skin tingle and made her mouth smile. Nobody **ever** had that effect on her. Sure boys had made her heart flutter or her stomach full of butterflies, but never as much as Remus had. She knew it was different with him, and she wasn't about to let it go. It just wasn't her way to go.

"My nose is honestly fine. I think Madame Pomfrey just kept me here for company."

Jodie smiled. "Good. And my head is perfectly fine."

"Why were you guys sleeping in the common room in the first place?"

"We thought it was a Friday, so we all got up at like seven thirty and lo and behold, the common room was completely empty."

Jodie paused to let the boy laugh before continuing. "I guess we were all so tired we just fell asleep again."

Remus nodded knowingly. "I've done that before too. Hey, are you sure you don't want to go?"

"I'm sure," said Jodie firmly. Then she added quietly in a teasing manner, "besides, I have to save you from Madame Pomfrey right."

"Right." Remus gave her a wink. "Are you staying over Christmas?"

"Yeah, my parent's think it's safer here…from you know."

"Mine too. I wonder what it'll be like once we're out of here. It just doesn't seem real yet."

"I know. Lily's going to fight. We both know that," said Jodie quietly.

"Lily's that type of girl."

Jodie smiled sadly. "You're going to fight too, with James and Sirius and Peter," said Jodie. It was a given.

"Yeah." Remus didn't want to ask if Jodie would fight. He wasn't sure if she even decided yet. But he didn't need to ask.

"I will too I think. Enough of this though, let's talk about something more cheerful," she said quickly.

"Are you excited for Christmas?"

"Yeah, I'm excited." Jodie attempted to look happier. "This will be the first year since second year where Lily, Beth and I are staying. Not to mention this will be the first year spending it with you guys."

"All of us spending it together," murmured Remus. He decided not to mention that this might be the last time.

"Would you like a book Remus?" Her voice snapped Remus out of his morbid thoughts. A book would certainly be nice.

"Yes, I would summon it but I'm afraid it would hit everyone flying here."

"I don't mind getting it," suggested Jodie, "where is it?"

"Um…" Remus wasn't particularly keen to have anyone search through his stuff – he didn't want to take a chance with anyone discovering his 'furry little problem'.

"It's alright. If it's in your room, I can just summon it from the common room."

He looked at her face for any annoyance at the fact that he didn't want her in his room but didn't see any – so he smiled and nodded. "Please."

Once Jodie had returned, they had talked for nearly an hour before he had picked up the book. Hours later, Remus flipped the very last page of his book. He was about to speak, when he felt something warm lying on his lap. He carefully closed his book and peered under it. There, was Jodie, sleeping peacefully and contently. Not having the heart to wake her up, he carefully slid his book to the counter nearby and closed his eyes as well.

A hour had gone by before Remus woke up. When he did though, he realized that Jodie was missing. Frantically he searched the room. He didn't find the girl, although he did find a steaming hot plate of food on the bedside table with a note.

_I'll be back._

_J_

She had kept her promise. Not moments after he had picked up his tray, she reappeared at the door. Her blonde hair was tied in a messy ponytail at the back of her head and her bangs had been clipped up. Remus watched as her pink lips curled upwards. She had on a thick white sweater and simple blue jeans.

"You're different when you're alone," he pointed out as she resumed her seat in the chair beside his bed.

She laughed and Remus thought her laugh was smooth and beautiful. He wished he heard it more. It was quite similar to Lily's happy laugh, although that had been missing for a while. It was refreshing now.

"Maybe you just never knew me," she said.

"Maybe," mumbled Remus, trying to keep his mouth closed while he chewed.

"Got some sauce on your nose buddy," she said with mirth evident in her eyes. She grabbed a tissue nearby and handed it to him. His hands were full with a fork and a knife though, so she helped him wipe it off instead. Rose crept onto his face slowly he was sure.

"Thanks," he said, embarrassed.

She shrugged and pulled out a book, parchment and a quill from her bag.

"Homework," she said when he gave her a questioning look. "Tomorrow's Hogsmeade so I want to finish it tonight. And there's the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw match.

_That's right, _Remus thought, _tomorrow was the Hogsmeade trip. _

"Are you going with anyone?" he couldn't help but ask.

"Nope," she said cheerfully.

"Jodie Williams, not on a date?" he said disbelievingly.

"Oh shut up you git."

"What about last time then?" he probed.

She said something but Remus couldn't catch it. "Pardon?"

"I said, I didn't go last time in case you didn't notice," she said angrily. She didn't want to believe he didn't notice she wasn't there. Didn't he care in the least?

Remus wasn't stupid though. He knew why she was angry. It was his nature to understand, to be sentimental if you may.

"I didn't go last time either, so I'm sorry I didn't know."

Jodie looked up, surprised. "You didn't?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Didn't feel well."

"Oh," she said. Remus seemed to not feel well a lot, Jodie discovered.

"But I plan on going tomorrow, as long as Madame Pomfrey doesn't lock me up here."

"It's alright damsel in distress. If she does, I'll be the shining knight and rescue you from your tower," Jodie replied with a serious face.

"Oh my dear prince, you are my hero!" replied Remus in a high pitched voice. They both burst out laughing.

All of a sudden, Jodie stopped laughing and faced Remus. She swallowed loudly.

"Well then, I guess you'll owe me a favour. Say…accompany the prince to Hogsmeade tomorrow?" she said hesitantly.

Remus simply stared.

"As friends of course," she added. She gave him her best smile that she knew no boy could resist.

Remus was no exception.

"Sure," he replied. Jodie felt like a bird, soaring.

"As friends," he added. Then, the bird had just lost it's wings.

Would anybody be there to catch her?


	27. Quidditch

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: I tried to capture the awkwardness of all those 'friendly' meetings we've all experienced for Jodie and Remus. Not sure if I was really successful but I would love to hear from you guys.  
**

**And I live in Canada, so I use Celsius when talking about weather. Negative 15 degrees Celsius is about 5 degrees Fahrenheit. **

**I can't really remember if Sirius was a Quidditch player. I keep thinking he is but I'm not sure, so for my benefit, I'm assuming he was, alright?**

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Sunday had arrived in all it's white glory, a new layer of fresh snow gracing the land and rooftops around them. It would have been the perfect day, had he not been so distant.

She turned her head sideways to look at him, taking in his dark hair, his thoughtful yet far away expression, and his stiff body. Her enthralling violet coloured eyes filled with confusion.

Lightly, she tugged on his hand, which was securely wrapped around her own. It felt warm and comforting to have her small hands within his large and slightly rough hands. She had always dreamed of this day – to have him beside her, holding her, laughing with her. He was perfect in her opinion, carelessly handsome.

Ever since her first year, ever since she had first seen his charming smile, she had fallen for him. Over the years though, she had learned the hard way that Sirius Black was not the guy that you could keep. Every time he charged into the room with a girl on his arm, Beth had desperately tried to ignore the pain battling to erupt inside her.

As time went on though, the pain eased, and she learnt to deal with the truth – Black would never like her. She even found some other boys that she liked as well, although unconsciously, they would be compared to her first crush.

Now everything seemed surreal; like it was too good to last.

Beth suddenly stopped walking and slipped her hand out of the embrace. Sirius stopped too, wondering what was wrong. Suddenly, he was hit in the face with the cold, wet snow.

"Oh I see how it is," he raged as he wiped the snow off his face, shivering slightly as some fell into his jacket. He noticed Beth had already taken off. "You're going to get it now!"

He slowly bent down to gather some snow, all the while keeping his eyes trained on Beth. Against his will, he smiled. How could he help it? His girlfriend was jogging backwards away from him while laughing, her two braids swinging wildly with the movement. Her eyes were smiling – the unusual violet turning slightly gray in the light. The sun seemed to make her glow like an angel with flawless skin. She looked as if she could fly off into the sky any minute.

"Beth watch out!" he yelled, aware that she was about to hit a lamppost. But she didn't hear him and with a loud _conk! _she fell to the ground.

Sirius immediately dropped the snow from his hands and sprinted forwards. "Beth!" he bellowed, increasingly worried. Many people nearby turned to see what Sirius Black was so concerned about.

"Are you alright?" he asked as he knelt down beside the girl.

She pouted looking up at him. Her lips seemed to tease him, and he resisted the urged to capture them with his own. "My head hurts," she whined in a childish tone.

Knowing that she was fine, he laughed a relieved laugh. "Well if I were a mean person, I'd say you deserved it."

She snorted and crossed her hands over her chest. _Very sensitive, Black, _she thought.

"But I'm a nice person, so I'm going to make you feel all better," he breathed quietly into her ear. The tone sent shivers down her spine and when she looked into his eyes, she found them filled with emotion, among them, hunger, passion and…perhaps love even.

She was about to speak when he cut her off with his mouth. Beth felt his one hand on the back of her neck, holding her in place solidly but not at all forcefully. She knew she could pull back if she wanted. His other hand was pushing against the lamppost.

Without knowing it, Beth wrapped her hands around his neck, running a hand through his thick soft hair.

Gently, he urged her lips to part with his tongue. Sensing her hesitation, Sirius pulled back and pleaded with his eyes, waiting to see if she would acquiescent.

It was her that made the next move, using her arms to pull him closer, kissing him more openly and passionately than she had ever before. She leaned forwards from her sitting position, pulling her legs closer so that Sirius would have room to shift closer to her. He complied to the unspoken request, leaning lower on his knees.

There, in the cold afternoon of winter under a broken lamppost in the abnormally quiet street of Hogmeade's was they shared their first real kiss.

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"Where do you want to go?" asked Remus as he dug his hands deeply into his jean pockets in an attempt to keep them warm.

"Doesn't matter really," answered Jodie, as she too put her hands into the pockets of her coat. "It's pretty cold today eh?" _Weather, I'm talking about weather!_

"Um, yeah. It's supposed to be almost negative 15 today." _We're talking about weather, _Remus thought.

"Right wow, feels colder than last year. I remember when I was a little kid, Lily and I could wear like…our jackets and be in the coldest temperatures ever and not feel the slightest cold. Winters used to be so much colder."

"Yeah, the whole global warming thing."

Jodie let the conversation fade in an attempt to think of something more interesting to say. Why had she never had this problem on normal dates?

"So how's classes this year?" she asked after some contemplation. _That's the best you could come up with? _She scolded herself.

Remus kept his eyes downcast as he replied, "Fine. It's a little crazy you know, with N.E.W.T.s and all but I don't mind. Being the oldest has its perks."

"Like torturing all those poor innocent kids," she laughed.

"Hey, it's called pranking, not torturing," he defended with a smile.

"I was subject to one of these so called 'pranks' and I refuse to believe it isn't torture." She shook her head in mock rejection. "Honestly, I don't know how Snape can take it."

"Oh, it's cause his skin is as thick as a tree trunk."

"And you're supposed to be the nice, kind, intelligent and responsible one."

"Everyone has their bad sides," he said, and three her one of his smiles.

_Now we're getting somewhere, _thought Jodie happily, but the smile on her face quickly disappeared as she noticed Remus had resumed his awkward stance once again.

_Why was this so difficult? _thought Remus at the same time. _It's just a friendly conversation._

"So –"

"How about –"

They said at the same time.

"Um –"

"Yeah –"

"We do that a lot," Jodie pointed out as they continued their walk.

Remus nodded and looked up at the Quidditch store they were about to pass. Jodie noticed this and shook her head. "Do you want to go in?"

"Hm?"

"The Quidditch store?" she asked while pointing her finger at it. "You seem interested. That's not really a surprise though."

"Um, yeah sure, do you mind?" he asked uncertainly.

Jodie smiled, glad for something to do. "Nope. Come on let's go in," she said as she took his arm. She released it quickly though, noticing what she had done.

Remus didn't notice.

As they entered the door, Jodie spoke. "While we're here, how about you help me look for a present that a guy would like? Every boy likes Quidditch right?"

His interest piqued, and something like jealously hitting his heart, Remus wondered why she would need a present out loud.

"Secret Santa," she said breezily as she fingered through a few sports magazines.

Remus picked one up and flipped through the pages while asking, "Who do you have?"

Jodie chuckled. "As a prefect, you should know that you have to abide by rules. Of course, as a Marauder, you've probably learned to disregard them all. Remind me again about how you've been a prefect AND a Marauder since forever, and how James of all people got head boy?"

"You never know with Dumbledore," he said. He put the magazine back down and walked over to a nearby shelf full of Quidditch related items. "So about that gift, still need help?"

She nodded eagerly, and their shopping day began. Conversation remained slightly awkward and tense, but hey, at least it was something right?

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Sirius and Beth sat talking in the Three Broomsticks, waiting for their friends to arrive for lunch. A loud bell which cut clearly through the noisy chattering, signaled the entrance of another person and interrupted them from their conversation.

"Hey," Lily said as she slipped into the seat across from Beth.

"Where's James?" asked Sirius as he motioned for someone to take Lily's order. He had expected his friend to be with the girl across from him.

"I don't know, probably off with Peter somewhere?" she suggested as she considered what to order. "I'll have the sandwich and a pumpkin juice please."

"No can't be. Peter's off somewhere today; never came to Hogsmeade."

"He's been gone quite a bit hasn't he?" asked Beth, more to Sirius than to Lily. Lily smiled at the affection between the two.

"It's a bit mysterious," Sirius agreed.

"Maybe you should ask him about it or something," suggested Beth. "Excuse me." She got up to go to the washroom, "you coming Lily?"

Lily nodded and smiled at Sirius, who nodded as well.

As the two girls walked away, Sirius took the time to once again consider James' words from last day. _Whipped?_ James was the one that had always been whipped, not Sirius. When had this happened?

Sirius gulped. He was Sirius Black, the player, the Marauder, the guy who didn't fall in love.

Just then, James came barging into the store, with Remus and Jodie trailing behind.

Sirius waved to catch his friends' attentions, shaking his head softly at his previous thoughts. No use getting carried away now.

Once everyone was seated, including Beth and Lily, they began to talk. Mostly though, it was prodding about who had gotten who for secret Santa. Lily was truly amazed none of the boys had blurted out their people. Maybe they really had grown up.

"Peter gone again?" asked Remus.

They all nodded, and Remus narrowed his eyes suspiciously, sharing a glance with the boys. James shook his head as if to say 'no worries' but Remus wasn't too positive. He let it go anyways.

"Are you guys all coming to the game after?" asked Sirius. He draped his arm over James' shoulder and shook his friend. "We're on tonight."

"Like we would forget. The girls never shut up whenever you two," Jodie waved her finger at the two boys, "have a Quidditch game."

"What can I say, we have that kind of effect on them," boasted Sirius, earning a smack from Beth.

James laughed and caught the eyes of a certain green eyed girl. She was amazed he hadn't said anything. Last year this time, he would have been first to say how good he was or something of the sort.

"You coming Beth?" asked Sirius to his girl.

"Of course, and so is Jodie and Lily right?"

"Right," answered Jodie immediately.

Lily was a little slower, as she had tuned out of the conversation thinking about how James had changed.

"Who ordered the fries?" interrupted the waiter seemingly out of nowhere, ruining the happy moment for the group of friends.

Sirius' hand shot up into the air. "Never see him do that in class," murmured Remus, causing a laugh from Jodie. They smiled innocently when everyone looked at them.

"Just fries Sirius?" laughed James, "I thought better of you."

"Of course not. This is only the starter," he said as he began stuffing his mouth full.

"Who would've guessed?" said Beth as she rolled her eyes and stole a fry from him.

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"And Owenson manages to catch the Quaffle before it enters. He tosses it to Benson." The announcer spoke into the amplifier for everyone to hear. "Oh, barely missed the bludger sent by Ravenclaw's Jason Redd. Careful there Benson!"

The Gryffindors cheered at the mention of their Chaser.

"Benson tosses it to Graham. Or Miss Graham shall I say! And she narrowly escapes the double attack by Hollen and Creeves. Black hits the bludger at Creeves, who promptly smacks it back. Looks like a game of toss is going to happen here."

He was drowned out by even more cheering as the Gryffindors had just scored.

"110-100! 110-100! This is a tight game witches and wizards!"

Suddenly, a soft voice streamed up from the stands. "Look at James!" Everyone whipped their heads around to see a streak of red zooming across the pitch towards the teachers stands followed closely by another figure.

"And it seems as if the snitch as appeared! Will Potter do it again and win?"

The snitch took a sharp turn downwards just as it reached the stands. James, being in front, raised his broom up to give his opponent the impression that he was pulling up, before he dived nose first downwards. The Ravenclaw seeker fell for it, cursing loudly despite the outraged looks of the adults in front of him.

"Looks like Potter has just fooled Burkson!"

Among the stands, chants could be heard for both Ravenclaw and Gryffindor.

The snitch circled around the stadium with James in close pursuit and Hayden Burkson behind. Suddenly, the three objects increased air and rised upwards, skimming the edge of the stands. The crowd was silent.

James reached forwards with all his might and touched the snitch. It jerked faster, and James was unable to get a hold of it. He urged his broom to go quicker.

In the background, he could hear the "James! James! James!" surround him. He could distinctly make out Lily's soft voice chanting along.

And in that one moment, he pushed forward and in a swift motion, captured the golden object. From the corner of his eyes, he saw a flash of Lily's face.

Instead of cheering though, he heard one distinct cry.

"JAMMMESSS!"

It was Lily. It was a terrified, unbelieving, scared Lily. He turned his head slightly before faintly glimpsing a small black ball aimed at where he was.

That was the last thing he heard before blackening out and plummeting in a spiral motion downwards, his forgotten broom, hanging in the air for the crowd to see.

"JAMES!" shouted Sirius from above.

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**Please Review! Pretty please!**


	28. And It All Falls Apart

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: Thank you so so much for all the reviews. I was so happy:) thanks to all you people!**

**This is a short chapter, because I didn't want to keep you guys waiting that long. I'm so sorry. It'll get better for James and Lily soon though. It kills me to do this to him too!**

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Sirius stumbled to the hospital wing hurriedly after the game to find a massive crowd of people surrounding the door. He pushed his way through roughly, glaring at anyone who dared stop him.

He threw the doors open and barged into the room; not giving a thought to the yelling nurse in front of him. He found his best friend lying unconscious on a bed. His face was now bloodless though—a massive improvement.

"Lily?" he asked tentatively to the girl sitting in a chair beside James.

She shot up and Sirius saw tears in her tired eyes.

"What's happening Sirius? How did it happen? Tell me James is going to be okay?"

"He—"

"It's been half an hour and he still hasn't woken up. Sirius?" she said frantically.

Sirius pulled up a chair beside her. "He'll be alright Lily, it's James for god sakes." Sirius cracked a grim smile. "Remember, it was you who had said that _nothing would take that kid of the face of this planet_ in fourth year. I believe you."

Lily shook her head and looked down, letting her long red hair—which now looked slightly duller—cover her face. She allowed Sirius to pull her head onto his shoulder.

"How are you in here?" she asked quietly after a while.

"Who could stop me when James is here? He's the one who's been for me all these years…you know…with my family and all. He was my first friend at Hogwarts, even though I was a Black. You honestly think a pair of flimsy doors and a crowd of idiots could stop me from coming to him when he's hurt?"

"But Remus and Peter—" She didn't continue, instead she waited expectantly for him to speak.

"They care about him as much as I do, but they're not as impulsive. They'll be here soon."

Lily nodded understandingly. She knew Sirius wanted to know how she was in here while everyone else, including their friends, weren't allowed but she didn't want to say anything. He seemed to sense this because he didn't ask.

"He'll be okay," Sirius repeated suddenly out of nowhere. He didn't sound convincing even to his own ears.

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Hours later, in the midst of the hallow night, Lily rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and stretched her sore back.

Their friends had been to visit a while ago and had left Sirius and Lily to stay with James, which was where she was now, Sirius beside her.

She carefully leaned over the unconscious body and put her hand to his cheek. It was cold and in the light of the half moon, she could see the paleness of his skin.

"James," she whispered softly, "please wake up. Please."

Snoring could be heard from her side—an affirmative that Sirius was soundly asleep. She continued onwards then.

"We need you James. The Marauders need you. How could they be without Prongs? Sirius would be devastated. You** know **how much you mean to him—how much you mean to all of them. And what about Remus? He needs you too. And Peter? Who would protect Peter? He's always been bullied, that's why you took him in isn't it? You can't leave him."

She sighed audibly, although she tried not to. She sat back down and rested her elbows on the side of his bed, near his chest. Her head fell into her hands.

"And the rest of the girl population. You're their golden heartthrob. All your 'adoring fans' you once called them." Lily faltered at the memory of those days when he had been full of hubris. She gathered her breath. "What about Jodie and Beth, your friends? They're probably crying themselves to sleep right now because of you. How can you do that to them James? Boy's aren't supposed to make girls cry!" Lily let her tears fall freely onto his chest, creating dark spots on the fabric.

"You're like the glue that holds us all together James. You're it. Wake up James, because we all need you. What would we be without you?" Lily sniffled quietly, once again glancing over to make sure Sirius was asleep. He was turned away, but seemed to be breathing quite steadily so she assumed he was. She was wrong.

"We all need you," she repeated. Then she paused before continuing in a barely audible whisper. "I need you."

"I need you James," she said again in a stronger voice because it made it all the more real to her. "I need you, because I love you. You can't just leave me like this. Do you know how it felt to watch this happen right in front of me, before my very eyes? I felt so absolutely helpless. The bludger was coming, and you were looking in the crowd. I couldn't stop it. When I got my wand out, it was already too late." Lily sobbed quietly into her hands. Sirius felt his own eyes glaze over. "It was all I could do to stop your fall, but it was too late. I was too late."

She once again stopped.

"If you…"

"If you…"

Her voice wavered and her throat felt incredibly dry. "Die."

"James Potter if you die, **I will never forgive you. **I'll never forgive **myself. **I'm sorry James. I am so so sorry for all that I've said to you over the years."

Lily hiccupped through her sobs. She let herself calm down, closing her eyes and counting to ten slowly, before opening them up again.

"I would kill for you to say those words again. I would say yes. I imagine it every day you know? Now more than ever. But now, there's no chance."

Sirius felt something wet slip out from his eyes. A tear? It couldn't be. When had he ever cried. Not when his mother had kicked him out, now when his family had abandoned him. Never. But then…what was he doing now?

It was a lot later before he heard the soft female voice again, now filled with forced anger.

"Ja—Potter, you git," she cried. "What happened to all your promises you made me?!" She pounded her fist on his chest. "You said you'd be there for me. You said you'd never leave me. All those years, all those times you can't have been lying to me! And I thought you had changed this year."

Sirius was about to get up and physically remove the hysterical girl from hurting his friend further but Lily seemed to stop by herself.

"Please James," she begged, softening her voice and controlling herself once more, "Don't break another promise. I need you."

When all was silent and Lily's sobs had receded to soft breathing, Sirius spoke up.

"We all need you buddy."


	29. Ambiguity

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: Thanks again:) Hope this is a good chapter.  
It'll be Christmas next. And you know what that means?  
That's right. More drama. It would be boring without it wouldn't it?**

**LJ IS COMING SOON. I've realized that I've neglected them a bit, but next chapter. I pinky promise ;) **

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The fire cackled violently. It was a pleasant contrast to the comfortable quietness in the room. Outside, the sun was slowly setting, signaling the end to yet another short-lived day.

"Get your butt of the couch Sirius," complained Beth from her seat on the ground. She leaned on the couch for support and tilted her head back. From the top of her eyes, she could see her boyfriend's face.

"No," he retorted childishly, sticking out his tongue at her even though he knew she couldn't see it. He reached for another chocolate frog, throwing the wrapper carelessly on the ground—card included. "I don't get why you guys are working two days before Christmas break officially starts."

Jodie, sitting on the floor across from Beth, rolled her eyes.

"Tell me, Sirius, where are you going to find a Potion's essay all perfect and ready for you tomorrow if you don't start working like the rest of us."

"Remus of course," he said with a shrug, glancing at his friend without moving his head. He didn't feel like any physical movement was necessary.

"Oh no you don't." Remus was sitting on the other couch with Frank and Alice. "McGonagall is going to collect this one." He almost laughed at his friend, sprawled on the couch with one arm resting on Beth's head.

Sirius groaned loudly and raised his arm off the head to smack his own.

"Why doesn't James have to do this?" He pushed his unwilling self into a sitting position and summoned the tools necessary to write.

"Because he's lying on a hospital bed," Alice kindly pointed out to him. "Page 365."

"Thanks. And fine, how about Lily then?" He flipped through his textbook until he reached the correct page.

James had awoken a few days ago but was still recovering. It wouldn't be long before he would be out of there though. Sirius wouldn't put it past his friend to fake sick to get out of class; he had certainly done it enough before. Although this time, Sirius thought it might have more to do with a certain red-headed girl who had never left his side since the incident.

Beth was the one who answered as she seated herself on his couch. "She's done."

"How did I guess that?" he said sarcastically as he began scribbling with the quill. "Frog please."

Frank leaned forward and grabbed a package from the stack on the table. Technically, it was the candy that had been meant for James, but he had given them to his friends. Frank thought Madame Promfrey was quite happy that the wing had been relieved of the overflow of snacks. He tossed it over to his friend, who caught it easily in the air with one hand, the other was still writing.

It would be a long night.

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"Hey Lily?" James said quietly the next night.

She turned from pouring him a glass of water. "Yes?"

"Thanks." He smiled gratefully at her.

Lily chuckled and returned to her previous task. "Not a problem James."

"I heard Sirius made a real entrance to get in here."

"Almost broke down the doors really," she said as she handed the cup over to him. He took it with haste, smiling when he saw Lily blush when their hands touched. James' didn't think she would be pleased if he pointed that out though, so he decided to keep it quiet; something he wouldn't have done last year.

"How were you in here then?" He frowned, a crease appearing on his forehead. "I must've been pretty beaten up to be out cold for 3 days." Lily had previously told him she had been with him since the beginning, and for that he was grateful. Now he wasn't so sure. He didn't want Lily to see him bloody, disfigured and all. It made even him queasy. Come to think of it, James was sure Lily never mentioned how he had looked to him.

"It wasn't the prettiest sight," she admitted, "the teachers let me in because I was the one levitating you here. I wasn't actually here when they treated you though, only after."

He nodded, _good. _He swallowed the rest of the water from the cup and Lily stood to take it back to the table.

"Well, I'm going to go back and sleep now. I'll be back in the morning alright?" she said as she rinsed the cup.

"Okay sure." Suddenly, James remembered something important. "When's Christmas?" he asked urgently. He still needed to pick up Lily's gift, although he had ordered it already. How was he going to do that now that he was stuck on this bed?

"Well, today's the 17th so there's eight days till Christmas. One day left of class."

James nodded. It was sooner than he thought. An idea suddenly came to him.

"When you go back, can you tell Remus to come here?" he asked.

"But it's going to be after curfew," she replied, somewhat displeased.

He looked at her with pleading eyes, a pout forming on his lips.

She relented, "fine."

As Lily walked through the abandoned, dark hallways, she wondered what James would possibly need Remus there for. _Probably another prank_, she concluded. Then shook her head. Some thing would never change, and oddly, she was okay with that.

A smile formed on her lips, but quickly disappeared when she saw some shadows moving through the halls.

"Hey!" she yelled as she ran forward.

Lily swore there were two people before, but now there was only one. Severus Snape.

"What do you want?" he snapped, looking ever so slightly behind him. He hoped Lily wouldn't notice, but soon reprimanded herself for ever thinking she wouldn't.

"Who else was here Snape?" she asked. She swore it looked like Peter but she couldn't be too sure.

"No one," he snarled. "I haven't got all day you filthy mu—witch."

A little hope sparked in her chest.

"What are you going to do? Send me off to detention?" he said impatiently, tapping his foot against the ground. The sound riveted against the walls and made the mood even more hallow and chilling.

Lily sighed and brushed a strand of loose hair off her face.

She looked up at him with her piercing emerald gaze. He stepped back slightly.

Then she focused on a portrait somewhere behind him to his left.

"Just go back Sev, and make sure no one catches you."

He had yet to recover and realize she had used their childhood nicknames before he noticed she had already walked past him.

By the time Lily reached the common room, she was feeling incredibly frustrated and angry.

"Covellentio," she murmured to the fat lady portrait. The woman began to speak to her as it did, but Lily ignored her fully.

She looked around the room and found that not one of the Marauders were there. Luckily, she found another seventh year boy about to head up.

"Rafe," she called, "can you get Remus down here for me please?"

"Sure thing Lily," he replied before climbing the steps.

Faintly, she could hear his call.

Sure enough, Remus appeared at the bottom of the staircase immediately after. "What's up?" he asked as soon as he reached her.

"James wants you for some reason."

"Isn't it after curfew?" he asked. It was a rhetorical question since he knew as well as Lily did that it was. "What does he want me there for?"

"Hell if I know," she fumed. "Sorry," she added for the benefit of Remus. She saw his shocked reaction. "Had a run in with Snape. Anyways, go. It seemed urgent." Lily walked behind Remus and gently pushed him to the door. He complied willingly, and she followed suit.

"I'm going back to the heads' dorm but two other prefects are on patrol tonight so you'll have to watch out."

"Right, okay thanks. Goodnight Lils."

"G'nite," she replied before murmuring another word and disappearing into the room.

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"Moony!" James struggled to sit up to greet his friend. His back was still a little sore, even though the bruises had healed with magic.

He ended up letting Remus help him. He gave a boyish handshake to Remus afterwards, smiling happily. "Forever since we've last done that, seems like."

"What's up Prongs?" he whispered after a nod. He pulled up a nearby chair quietly, careful not to let the nurse hear him.

James picked up his wand from the side table, and charmed the door to block sound from escaping.

He returned to his normal voice. "I need help."

"Help?"

"You know who my Secret santa is."

"Right, we helped bribe the hat to make it give you Lily's name remember," Remus pointed out amusedly. It was weird, he recalled, talking to the hat. It was quite the picky annoying type of hat unfortunately.

James waved the comment off.

"And you know what I'm planning."

"Vaguely," Remus responded, but motioned for James to continue anyways.

"I ordered the gift a week ago, but since the accident, I haven't been able to pick it up." James looked up at his friend knowing that he had already drawn the correct conclusions.

"And you want me to pick it up for you." Remus finished. "Why not Sirius or Peter?" he asked lamely, and then answered his own question. "Right, Sirius would lose it and Peter is…well Peter."

James nodded.

Remus looked at his friend.

"All right Prongs," he sighed, "Name and location now."

James smiled boyishly. "Mulcere Gifts. Diagon Alley."

Remus sighed again. "Diagon Alley?! Prongs man, couldn't you have stuck to somewhere in Hogsmeade?"

"You have Dumbledore's permission by the way."

"Fine," Remus said although a smile appeared. "You better get it right this time."

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The days rolled by quickly as the break began. The sun rose to signal morning, and set to signal night. Five days passed like this.

Christmas spirit was everywhere. Christmas trees were placed in every hall, decorated lavishly with ornaments and multi-coloured lights. And on each and every top of the tree was a bright shining star.

Not only this, tinsel and wreaths were hung throught, changing colours every so often. Sometime red, sometimes green—maybe even silver. Even the paintings seemed to be getting into the season. Many portrait characters were now dressed in red and green, with a Santa hat to boot.

Soft and faint Christmas music played constantly throughout the school, blending in harmony with the humming of the students' excitement.

Last but not least, mistletoe. Although the teachers didn't approve of them being hung everywhere, they turned a blind eye to the white and green plants hung in lesser used entrances. Even so, Sirius was pretty sure they still made sure the plants weren't the enchanted types.

Sirius shook his head, trying to block out the annoying music plaguing his head. He just couldn't say he was a fan of it. Suddenly, he felt a presence nearby.

He looked around and his gaze fell to Beth, dressed in a tight gray sweater and fitting blue jeans. Her hair was tied in two long braids that ran to all the way to her mid-back. As if she sensed him too, she turned and waved. Sirius was pleased—and displease, for others could see it too—that her sweater was a little low cutting.

He walked up to her and grabbed her hand, abruptly pulling her away from her friends. She didn't struggle. He lead her to one of those 'lesser used doors' and stood in the frame, hugging her tightly.

"Look up," he whispered into her ear. She did and he took the chance to take her lips.

A while later, Sirius was left alone in that same door with something warm coursing through his body. The temperature though, had not risen.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't my favourite older brother," a voice spoke from behind him.

Sirius acknowledged the person coolly, without a glance, "Regulus."

"How's it like at the Potters'?" he asked, no concern in his voice whatsoever though.

"None of your business now is it?"

"That any way to treat a brother?" said another voice.

"Bellatrix. And no doubt Narcissa is hear too I presume." Sirius said it with an even voice, but inside he was shaking. Not with fear, no, but with hatred and anger.

"Let's just call it a little family reunion," said Narcissa with the same emotionless voice she always had. Bellatrix cackled with laughter, although no one else apparently found it funny.

"Blacks' we all are," snarled Regulus. He looked at his cousin and she took the cue.

"Oh wait, you're not one are you?" They all laughed this time, and it took all of Sirius' will power not to hex them all. He did, however, place his hand on his wand. _Better safe than sorry. _

Regulus noticed this action though. He was never a stupid child.

"No need for a wand brother dearest, we just want to talk," he chided.

Sirius did not let go and if his brother noticed, he chose to ignore it.

"I," Sirius said, looking around to see if there was anyone for support, "do **not** wish to talk with you all. Death eaters to be." He spat the last part out in disgust.

He could see Bellatrix's anger bubble, and Narcissa's stable manner fade. His brother was the only one who could keep the cool demeanor. It pleased him to know his brother was stronger and to know his comment bothered them.

"You're so unlike us, you always were," Regulus started, stepping forward and locking eyes with Sirius.

"Thank god for that," Sirius cut in, his gaze not wavering.

"Blacks don't love Sirius, when will you learn that. It's a weakness, an error that could lead to your death in the end."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Sirius bellowed.

"Oh don't think we don't see. What happened to you? Wait till mother dear hears that you finally feel something more than lust for a girl. She'll be so proud." He said the last part so normally, that is seemed…almost believable.

_Love? Beth?_

"Get out while you can, because she'll leave you in the end. That's what happens isn't it. Once you let her be your everything, it's over," he continued. "A disgrace to us Blacks to see you like that with the word Black on your name. And what happened to your precious reputation. All for a girl." He shook his head.

Sirius almost stuttered, but recovered quickly. "I don't even want Black on my name."

"Good, because we don't either," his brother retorted. It hurt Sirius, although he wouldn't show it. He watched the three Slytherins' retreating backs.

As they disappeared, a new voice broke through behind him.

"Padfoot," James called, looking for his friend.

It suddenly occurred to Sirius to talk to James. Was it not him who suggested he was whipped a while ago?  
"Prongs," he called back.

James ran up to his friend but never got the chance to speak.

"Regulus talked to me just now." That in itself seemed to cut James short. "Am I whipped Prongs? You teased me about it last week, but it seems they've noticed too."

James suddenly understood.

Sirius prided himself in being independent. Away from his family. He was the self-proclaimed womanizer. The person who would never fall in love.

"Sirius," James replied calmly, "it's n—"

"It's a disgrace isn't it?"

"Pad—"

"What a joke!" Sirius forced a laugh. "Sirius Black doesn't fall in love. I just don't do that type of thing. She's just another girl."

"You know Beth isn't just another girl. It's okay to love someone Padfoot, there's nothing wrong in that," James said quietly, staring intently at his friend, praying he wouldn't do something foolish.

"It isn't okay Prongs, don't you get it." Sirius turned his back on his friend. He couldn't let himself get in too deep. "It's just not okay."

Sirius walked away.


	30. Christmas

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: To ****Friar Freaking Lawrence**** you were right:( **

**After this chapter—unless I can somehow write something super fast which is unlikely—there will be about a ****2 week pause**** in this story because I'm going on **_**vacation**_**. The next update will be the 27****th**** I think, or I hope. Sorry. **

But all that aside, I leave you all with something happy for our favourite couple:) Christmas present.  


**Review, Review, Review!**

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Sirius looked at himself in the mirror, rubbing his tired, puffy eyes. He yawned loudly and ran a hand through his thick black hair to flatten it. It didn't work. His hair remained an untamed mess, his eyes were tired looking and his skin was pale. A slight shadow of stubble covered his jaw line. To put it in three short words—he looked bad. _Terrible even, _thought Sirius himself.

He padded his way roughly through the piles of clothes on the floor, stopping at the one nearest his bed. Dropping down on his knees, he rummaged into the pile to find a pair of jeans. It didn't smell, so he figured it was good enough. He slipped it on, over the boxers he had slept in.

He then proceeded with the searching, and without a mere look, he slipped on a clean, new white polo long sleeve shirt.

Cautiously, he walked over to the curtains drawn over the window and pulled them apart ever so slightly. Bright light peeked through immediately, blinding him. He quickly yanked the curtains together again. Just as he thought, it was well into the day already.

He couldn't truly be blamed though, as he had barely slept the previous night. Countless thoughts had been raging in his head, over and over again. The devil himself had made sure Sirius wouldn't get a wink of sleep in the 12 hours he had spent lying in bed.

Yet, even so, he had come to a decision. If he had had a smile on his face, it would have been thoroughly wiped off at that thought.

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"Beth," he called from the stone steps on the outskirts of Hogwarts property. It was there he had originally found the lot of his friends playing, merrily prancing around and throwing snow at each other harmlessly. He had almost cracked a smile, but sobered up quickly when he realized this.

She skipped up the steps to meet him, laughing as if all was right in the world. To her, all was.

"Beth," he repeated, in the same toneless voice. When she noticed the grim expression on his face, her smiles died.

"What's the matter?" she asked, reaching out to him with her hands, enclosed in mittens.

He avoided her grasp. He didn't think he could go through with this if she touched him. It was hard enough having her look at him so innocently. Funny he never had a problem with this before.

_That's it,_ he thought. _She's just another girl. One of those previous ones. _He focused on imagining Beth to be someone else, replacing the girl in front of him with one of the countless nameless faces stored in his memory.

This made matters easier for him—just slightly though.

Beth frowned, noticing his evasion of her hands. She drew them back slowly, a quizzical expression on her face. Nothing could prepare her for the words about to escape his lips.

"We can't do this anymore."

She stumbled back, almost tripping. She stepped down a step, steadying herself.

"What?" she whispered hoarsely—her ears refusing to take in those fateful words.

Sirius flustered, then cleared his throat uncomfortably. The whole imagining she was a different person thing just failed him. _Damn._

"I think…we need to break up."

She looked at him, stared at him with blank eyes. They were virtually unreadable, save for the darkness of her pupils. No longer were they vibrant purple. Now they were stormy gray, clouded with pain.

Sirius begged, prayed, that she would say something. Anything. Even if it was yelling, it would be better than this silence.

His prayers were answered.

"We?" she roared, stepping down another step. She tripped but recovered, ignoring his outstretched hand. It was instinctive for him to reach for her, but he pulled it back when he reminded himself the situation they were in.

"You need a break Siri—" she paused, "Black, not me. So why don't you say it?"

He didn't even get a chance to answer though, because in the next second, she was flying down the steps and running with all her might to the castle, away from him.

Away from him.

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James and Lily had been walking around the castle that day—Christmas eve—simply talking with each other. Ever since his accident, and Lily's countless hours by his side, they had grown tighter than ever.

That was when they saw a figure run by them with tears running down her face and her long dark hair flying behind her.

Without so much as a word, Lily looked at the boy beside her. Then she ran for her friend. No words needed to be spoken.

Once Lily had disappeared from him view, James went in search of Sirius. _What had happened? _All he knew was that that girl running by was Beth, and he was going to find out why she was crying.

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Remus and Jodie had also been hanging out together, but instead, they were inside the common room. They weren't doing anything special really, just talking and getting to know each other better.

Remus was surprised to find out a lot of interesting things about Jodie, like how she had known Lily even before Hogwarts. What astonished him the most was that she was nothing like he had originally thought she'd be—a female version of his friend. No, she was a kind, sweet and caring girl who hid it beneath a tough—

"Beth?" said the soft voice beside him. He turned just in time to see a shadow disappear from the girl's staircase.

He felt a weight lift off the couch and figured Jodie had just stood up.

"Lily!"

"Jodie," she gasped. The panted slightly, pointing to the stairs, "Beth!"

Wordlessly, Jodie left. Lily never even acknowledged Remus' presence. He didn't think she noticed.

Two things Remus knew for sure in this world, and that was that Jodie wouldn't leave him without saying something and Lily notices everything, all the time.

Something was amiss.

The muffled sob he heard just confirmed it.

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"Prongs!" shouted a stout by upon seeing the recognizable tall black haired boy. He nudged the person beside him.

"Wormtail, Moony, just the people I need," James responded. "Just now, Beth was—"

"Crying? We know." The three shared a worried expression. "Does Sirius?"

"Does Sirius what?" said a voice behind them. They whipped around to see the last of the Marauders.

"Sirius!" exclaimed Peter in a shriek. "Beth was crying and—"

Sirius' heart thundered but he ignored it. _Just another girl, _he reminded himself.

"So what?" He shrugged carelessly, as if it didn't bother him in the least.

"and we were wondering—wait what?" Peter stopped mid sentence, his small mouth falling open.

"S-oo wha---t," repeated Sirius, emphasizing the syllables.

"She's your girlfriend, that's what," yelled Remus, taking a step forward where as Peter had retreated behind the other two. Never one to be in a fight.

_Just another girl. Nothing special._ A voice chanted in his head.

"Not anymore," he replied, careful to keep the edge out of his voice.

"What the hell do you mean?" bellowed Remus, the usually quieter one. James, the one who would normally be doing the confronting, was oddly silent. Remus looked to him for support.

James raised his head slowly, blinking a few times. "Please Padfoot," he spoke in a pleading voice, "tell me you didn't do this."

Sirius didn't speak. What could he say?"

"Prongs?" urged Remus.

"Please," James tried again, "Tell me you didn't let them get to you. That you didn't break her heart."

Again, Sirius was silent.

"You broke up with her?" said a quiet voice in the back of the group. Even Peter couldn't believe it.

"I did."

The three other boys stared, speechless.

"Who cares? I've broken up with girls before. She was just another one right?" He said what the voice in his head said, "B-Beth's just another girl, no need to get so worked up over it. Time to move on."

However, Sirius didn't continue because at that time, James' fist connected with his jaw.

Sirius crumpled forward, spitting the blood out of his mouth and onto the ground.

"Did you ever consider that this time it was different?" screamed James when he saw that his friend had recovered. "That this time, a girl liked you not because you were **the** Sirius Black? Wake up Sirius! She's not _just another girl." _He spat the last part out like it was poison. And in a way, it was. It had poisoned his friend's mind.

"What right do you have to tell me what to do?!" retorted Sirius. He didn't have a better come back.

This time, it was Remus who punched him, squarely in the stomach.

"The right as a friend," he said menacingly, before getting pulled away by a now aware Peter. "You hurt her."

As they reluctantly left, they could still hear Sirius' verbal curses flying.

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The next day, more precisely, Christmas day, the school was a buzz. Carols jingled louder, lights shone brighter, but to Lily, it all seemed so artificial. Whatever was so special that she had been excited about had died off since yesterday.

She felt a reassuring squeeze on her arm that was linked through Jodie's.

As they walked through the empty corridor from the common room the stairs that led to the Great hall, Lily passed by a window. Outside was a neat, new layer of snow. The sky was black, yet filled with twinkling stars. There was a slight flurry going outside, but all in all, the night was clear. _The perfect Christmas. _It all seemed to be mocking her—to all of them.

"Can't we stay with her?" pleaded Lily to her friend. She was in no mood for a feast.

"No Lils, she needs some time on her own. She'd feel worse if we didn't go to Christmas dinner."

Lily stopped walking. "But she needs us."

"What she needs right now is ice-cream, movies and a good cry. She has that all. She also needs to never see Sirius Black again."

"Come on Jodie," said Lily, relenting to continue the journey to dinner.

"No, I'm serious. It was a bad idea all along. We knew she liked him a lot, but we never should have let them go out."

"There was nothing we could do," said Lily. She added quietly, "I was sure he had changed."

"So was I, so was I," sighed Jodie. "Enjoy the night Lily, she'd want us to. Tomorrow, we'll all wallow together."

Lily nodded. She and Jodie knew that they both wouldn't be able to enjoy the night. So much for _merry _Christmas.

The only thing that brightened Lily was that she would probably be seeing James.

"If I can get my hands on Black, he'll be a dead man," decided Jodie suddenly. That thought also brought a small smile to Lily's lips.

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When they entered the dining hall, they found probably the biggest tree they had ever seen in their lives sitting in the centre, with thousands of gifts underneath. They were the secret Santa gifts and would be given to their rightful owners after dinner.

Lily walked up and placed a small box in the pile, wrapped in gold paper with the name printed neatly on a card. She added Lily Evans to it.

Jodie did the same, with two boxes though. Beth had figured it would be unfair to not give her person a gift just because she was too busy staring at a blank wall. That wasn't exactly the way she had worded it though, but Lily and Jodie got the idea.

They made their way to the Gryffindor table, ignoring the sneers of the Slytherins at the other end of the room.

They found the Marauders sitting there. Unlike usual though, they weren't laughing, or talking for the matter. At least Sirius wasn't. And he seemed to have somewhat of a bruise on his jaw. The girls didn't ask him about it though, as they clearly weren't talking to him.

They took their seat across from them like in the beginning of the year, ignoring the changes of seating that had occurred as they year had progressed. Now it was back to girls on one side, boys on the other.

Jodie and Lily were one of the last people to sit, and as they arrived, the food had just began appearing. While everyone around them was actively talking to one another, bright smiles on their faces, these six people were absolutely silent.

Not a word was spoken.

This was not how Lily had imagined her Christmas to be. She thought about how different it would be if Sirius and Beth were still together. Lily looked at Sirius. She honestly didn't blame him. Was it not her that had similar problems at the beginning of the year? Only she hadn't broken anyone's heart.

Now that she thought about it, she had. James' heart.

Then her thoughts quickly proceeded to turn to worry for her friend sitting in the common room, refusing to eat. She resolved that after dinner, she would immediately return. There was no use to linger here anyways.

Dinner seemed to drag on longer than any dinner she had ever eaten. It was awkward. Finally, after what seemed like forever, the desserts arrived. Lily picked at her pie a good five minutes before deciding she was no longer hungry. She wrapped up a few cookies for Beth and was about to stood up.

"Wait," said Sirius, surprising everyone there. Lily looked at him kindly, giving him a chance, but Jodie merely glared. "Here," he said shortly, pulling out a wrapped box and placing it on the table.

Lily waited for an explanation.

"I got it for her before, but you know," he said vaguely. Honestly, even he didn't know. He was so confused. Naturally, he raised his hand to rub the sore spot on his jaw. It reminded him of what James and Remus had said.

Lily nodded understandingly. Sirius hadn't been sure whether or not to give it to her, that much was clear. The rest of them had visited Beth and the girls and traded presents earlier that day. Sirius sent his over with the guys as he didn't think he would be received kindly. Smart man.

As she stood, the ceiling began to blow snow down on everyone. Although this snow was neither cold, nor able to materialize, it was still a sight. And amidst the wildly blowing snow were light pink lily petals. She didn't even here the many gasps.

The scene was too familiar. Her eyes scanned the table. Only three of the Marauders were there—no James. _Where was he? _She looked around the whole room, trying to pick out the unmistakable figure. He wasn't there. When had he left?

She could feel the wrapped cookies being taken from her tight grasp. Only then did she realize she was nervously crushing them. Jodie looked up at her with a smile and said, "I'll take them to Beth."

And that was all that Lily needed to hear.

She stepped out of her seat, and with they eyes of everyone on her, she ran out the doors at top speed. Jodie watched as her friend slowly disappeared in the mass of swirling snowflakes.

Right as Lily's foot stepped onto the ground outside the hall, she heard the chatter erupt once again. It as all mostly likely about her but she didn't care. Her heart was in her throat, her small hands were sweating and she was biting her bottom lip nervously.

She paused to think, her logical brain kicking into action. _Where would he be?_

The first place that came up in her mind was the Gryffindor common room, so that was exactly where she went.

She looked behind her, watching the snowflakes and petals fall steadily in the hall. Resisting the urge to run, she composed herself and slowed to a walk. A few steps in, she broke out into a jog, and in a few more steps, she all out ran.

Everything was a blur to her—the green, the red, the music, the conversations of the paintings who were all feasting as well. Her mind was focused on one thing, and that was finding him.

She almost raced right past the fat lady portrait, which was unrecognizable as the woman had left her frame.

"Come back," she yelled impatiently. Slowly but surely, an annoyed woman appeared in the frame.

Immediately Lily said, "Covellentio, covellentio!"

"What's the rush?" muttered the lady, who hastily threw the door open for Lily.

Lily rushed him, only to find the room empty. She looked around and found a pink slip of paper on the table with her name written on it. Picking it up, she read what is said out loud.

"Will you dance the night away?"

She turned the card over, looking around for some other words. Nothing.

Muttering as many spells as she could come up with that might put some light onto the puzzle, she tried to look for more words but still came up with nothing.

_Okay, _she thought, mentally calming herself down, _what now?_

She looked at the girl's staircase. Beth was up there. Suddenly she felt guilty. _Beth was up there, __**hurt and alone, **__and I'm here, chasing after something that very well may not be real._

Fiddling with the paper in her hands, she glanced back and forth between it and the staircase.

She sighed. _Sorry Beth, I have to take this chance._

Quickly before she could change her mind, she stepped out of the room with the paper in hand.

_Where else? _She thought to herself. She began wandering a little down the hall, before abruptly turning around and sprinting back.

"Our dorm," she thought aloud.

But once again, upon entering, she found nothing except for another slip of paper.

"Your mask is slowly fading," she read. "What mask?"

Looking around the room for something to clue her in, she only found the glowing outlines of the furniture.

"Where else could he be?" She sat down on the couch, only to leap up a moment after. Slowly, she knocked on his room door. There was no answer. She opened the door, aware of the loud creaking.

"Lumos," she whispered, pointing her wand.

Still no James. Only all his stuff, like his bed, his books, his broom—

That gave her an idea. She walked out of the room and rapidly closed the door behind her. Then she tucked her wand into her robe and headed out the room.

When she walked out, she noticed that the students had yet to leave the hall, probably exchanging presents. She also found that all the characters in the paintings had returned to their own frames and were all staring at her. She paused to look at one; it was a lady cradling a baby.

"Go on dear," she encouraged in a feminine voice, careful to keep it low so the baby wouldn't awaken.

She decided to heed the stranger's advice.

As she jogged through the halls, she knew she was being watched by all the small eyes of the paintings but she ignored them.

Finally she broke out onto the Quidditch pitch. _Surely James had to be here._

He wasn't, but floating in the middle was another card.

Lily didn't even hesitate to take it—it was like some sort of scavenger hunt.

"Time will run out on you when the clock strikes 12."

She sighed. "What are you talking about James?"

Closing her eyes, she began to think. It was no where near midnight. And definitely not noon. She sank down into the fresh snow, ignoring the coolness on her ankles. _What if she couldn't find him—obviously his intention was for her to. Would he be disappointed? _Lily almost decided to give up, but at last minute, her stubbornness pulled through.

"No stupid puzzle of Potter's going to stump me," she mumbled, looking through the three cards in her hand.

"Dance the night away? Mask is fading? Time will run out at 12?"

She groaned in frustration.

That's when she heard a loud chime. She ignored it as it was just the clock tower signaling a new hour.

"Dance the night away? Mask is fading? Time will run out at 12?" she repeated, hoping the answer would just appear. "Dance, mask, time."

Again, the clock rang.

_CLOCK TOWER._

Lily jumped out, almost slipping on the snow, and sprinted back into the building. Now, she was **sure** all the paintings were watching her. Hell, they were cheering for her.

She could hear them whooping and cheering, urging her on.

"Go Lily Go," one yelled.

"That's the idea!" said another.

"He knew you'd figure it out," one cried. And through each hall, similar phrases were repeated.

She passed one of the Hogwarts ghost on her run. "About time Lily," he said passing right through her. "Almost thought you wouldn't figuuuuuureeeee iiiiittttt oooooooouuuuutt…" but his last words were drowned out as he faded through the wall.

Lily smiled. _Only James could get even the paintings and ghost to be—_she couldn't even come up with a word to describe it_. Only James, _she concluded.

She stopped and looked up at the never ending circular staircase facing her. This was it.

Lily gulped and twisted her hands together nervously, although she still held on to the papers tightly. She gathered her robe up behind her and bounded the steps two at a time impatiently.

Up and up. On and on.

And when she finally made it to the top, she was greeted with a gust of cool air. It was a lot colder so high up.

She dropped her robe and picked up the pink paper on the ground.

"You're my Cinderella."

Lily was half expecting James to mysteriously appear in front of her, dressed like a medieval prince, but when she looked up, Lily found nobody. It was dark and she couldn't make out anyone. Maybe it was just another part of the puzzle—not yet the end.

As she was about to turn around though, the moon outside moved ever so slightly to the right.

Lily gasped.

The new light outlined the silhouette of a man.

"James," she stuttered. She bit her lip and felt herself perspire even more. Vaguely, she was painfully aware that she must've looked like a mess from the lack of sleep, the amount of running, and the utter unwillingness to dress nicely earlier today.

He stepped forward from the shadows, now partially illuminated. "Merry Christmas Lily," he said in his deep voice.

Her brain stopped thinking, her voice was dry. "Merry Christmas?" she asked, a frown appearing. She was unfortunately also aware that he looked better than ever. And that he had just said 'Merry Christmas'. What was she expecting? I love you? But a little voice in her head told her… _yes._

"Well yeah, I'm your secret Santa," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Lily was dumbstruck.

"Oh." It was the only thing she could manage.

"Oh?" He smiled at her, making her mind incapable of comprehending the situation. Making her oblivious that he was now slightly closer than before.

"Okay," she said slowly, sounding out the word. "So then…um…where's my gift?"

_No need to drag this out longer, _she thought to herself, scolding herself to think it could be something more.

The pause made her fill with dread, crushing her dreams. She closed her eyes painfully, a stabbing becoming more and more prominent in her chest. A teardrop appeared in the corner of her eyes—she hoped he wouldn't see it.

Just as she closed off all hope, he whispered in her ear.

"Me."

And without giving her anytime to think, he gently lifted her chin up with the pad of his thumb, leaned down and captured her frowning lips with his own.

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**The next chapter, just so you all know, will begin from exactly this point. So the moment is not over. And also, I wanted to put more time into Lily and James, so I'll also be focusing on Beth next chapter.**

**And**

**Since this is my last post before the 25****th****, I WISH YOU ALL A VERY SPECIAL CHRISTMAS AND I HOPE ALL YOUR WISHES COME TRUE. **


	31. The Black Epiphany

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: I hope you all had a great Christmas! I did!:)**

**I also hope you guys like this chapter too, and give me help or comments. REVIEW 3**

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The kiss was gentle, yet desperate at the same time. They couldn't see each other clearly, only in the faint moon light, but Lily could imagine James' every feature. She could picture the small upward twist at the corner of his lips; the beginning of his heart melting smile. Then there was the happiness in his eyes and the small, almost unidentifiable, little wrinkle at the corners of his eyes. She felt him run his hand through her hair and she savored the feeling.

James put all of his suppressed emotions into the kiss. He wanted to give her everything, but at the same time, he wanted their first kiss to be soft and pleasing. He wanted Lily to feel as elated, as god-like, he was feeling because at that very moment, James Potter felt like he was on top of the world.

Lily felt a tear drip meaninglessly down her cheeks. Her uncertainty was gone, blown away with the wind. All that mattered was the boy in front of her. The boy with the incredibly soft lips, that were pressing softly on her own.

Throughout the kiss, she had let James take the lead. Now, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling herself closer to him—telling him that she, Lily Evans, was his. And suddenly, it wasn't enough to just kiss him.

She pulled away from the kiss, breathless and flushed. James felt panic course through his veins. If this didn't work, there would be no more tries for him. This was…it.

"James," she breathed.

"Lily, I'm so sor—"

"I love you," she blurted out. "I truly do."

He let out a relieved breath. Then he kissed the tear on Lily's face, erasing her previous heartbreak. He reached into his robe pocket, pulling out a small box.

"Oh my god."

James paused, letting the anticipation build. Mirth filled his eyes as he watched the beautiful girl in front of him. "Lily Amelia Evans, will you be my girlfriend?"

He opened the box to reveal a simple silver band, with a small off-center diamond. Then he continued. "This is a promise ring Lily."

Lily smiled. "And what are you promising?" She let him slip the ring on her middle finger of her left hand.

"Oh no, you're the one promising. You're promising to be mine forever."

"I think I can deal with that."

"Good. And I promise to love you forever."

Lily leaned up and took James' bottom lip. He responded willingly, but after a while, he broke away. It wasn't that he wanted to—but rather, he had to. It was the right thing to do.

"You," he paused, taking the time to place a small kiss on his girlfriends forehead, "need to go."

"Go?" Lily looked up at James.

"Well, I want a happy Lily. And if a happy Lily means that I have to part with her so she can be a good friend on our first night together, then that's what I'm going to do."

Lily hugged James tightly once he said that. It was just too sweet. "How'd you know?"

"You tend to know things about someone after liking them for years." He said this in a laughing manner, but it still worried Lily.

"James, I'm sorry about all those years."

"No, you had the right to hate me. Although I'm glad you changed your mind. So glad."

"Me too," smiled Lily, still wrapped in his embrace.

"Now go."

"Okay okay, I'm going _boyfriend._"

"Goodbye my _girlfriend."_

And with a parting glance, Lily slowly descended the stairs while James watched her go. She didn't particularly want to go, but she knew it was something that she needed to do. She was just glad James understood. Apparently, she really had mistaken his levels of maturity.

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"Now, why are _you_ here?" demanded Jodie the moment Lily stepped into their room.

"Why should I not be here?" she asked quizzically.

"Shouldn't you be with James?" wondered Beth out loud. Lily studied her friend, and found that save for the ice cream smudges by her lips and the slightly swollen eyes, Beth didn't seem too different. Lily gave a look to Jodie, who shrugged and mouthed something along the lines of, 'I think it's the denial stage'.

"Nah, boys suck." She flopped onto the bed beside her friends and grabbed the extra spoon lying in the carton of ice-cream. She scooped a spoonful out and popped it in her mouth. Jodie and Beth did the same.

"Whatever," said Jodie, "you probably have a boyfriend now."

Lily only smiled and gave Beth a hug. "Tonight's a girl's night."

"Oh, and there's cookies—from dinner. We thought you would like some," Jodie said, getting up to pick up the wrapped goods.

"Cookies with ice-cream. Yum," Beth said happily. The cheerfulness was obviously forced though.

Jodie returned to the bed with the cookies in one hand, and a package in the other.

"Um…and there's this for you."

Beth took the package. "What is it?"

"A present," answered Lily.

"To Beth, from—"

Before Lily and Jodie knew it, Beth was standing up, crying and facing a dent in the wall. The anger phase had finally arrived, if the gift thrown at the wall that was now lying on the ground was any judge.

And what comes after anger?

"Well, I brought the notebook," declared Lily.

"Good. We need some serious wallowing," said Jodie. "Seriously Lils, if you weren't the one with that bloody good muggle film, I would kick you out of here you boy trouble-less chick."

"Remus?" asked Lily sympathetically.

"I swear he's like a cow. He can't take a hint. I think the only way for him to figure it out is if I walk right up to him and kiss him."

"Why don't you? It's not like you've ever done that before," commented Beth, spooning some more ice-cream into her mouth. "Ben and Jerry's is my hero."

"Because he doesn't seem to be the type of guy that will like those things."

"But that'll always be you. Frank and outspoken," Lily said. "Those are the things we love about you."

"I guess."

"You don't have much to complain about…you didn't date Sirius Black."

"I think," said Jodie, "you need to cry."

"I did cry," Beth replied.

"Wallow and cry."

"I'm not the wallowing type of girl," said Beth.

Lily was the one to reply to this. "That's what we're here for."

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"Come," said Sirius. He put his arm around the brunette girl beside him, pulling her close to him.

"Where are we going?" she asked but Sirius knew she could care less. As a result, Sirius ignored her question hoping she would take the hint and stop asking. She didn't.

"Do you even know my name Sirius?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied, racking his brain to remember what Tom had said during the introductions today. "Lindsay."

"You do know my name," she exclaimed. A small step for many guys, a big step for Sirius Black.

By this time, they had entered a fairly empty hallway. Sirius wasted no time in doing what he wanted. He took her mouth with his, hungrily.

She wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling herself against the wall. He put his arms on either side of her head for support.

Suddenly, Sirius heard a sound behind him. His whole body filled with dread. He was sure there was a person behind him, and he was honestly scared to know who the person was because he knew from experience that fate was cruel.

He stopped the wild kiss and slowly turned around. He could hear heavy breathing behind him. His pulse sped up, pumping wildly within him.

Now, Sirius Black was known to be a fearless person. But at that very moment, he felt so scared, so absolutely in fear, that he was afraid to turn around. He swore he could hear quiet sobbing behind him.

The girl whom he was kissing stared at the boy in front of her. She watched him close his eyes slowly, squeezing them shut and turn his body around.

"Sirius," she whispered, preparing to ask what was happening.

He ignored her.

While inhaling the heavy air, he opened his eyes.

And what he saw took his breath away—squeezing the wind right out of his lungs. He felt his heart beat even more fiercely than before. He felt his voice catch in his throat, and he suddenly lost the notion to breathe.

Yet what did this to him wasn't what he saw. Because what he saw was nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

There was no one there. The hallway was empty—soulless. Nobody had witnessed the kiss shared between Sirius and Lindsay.

All the noises had been merely a figment of his imagination. Of his guilt.

And it was then that Sirius experienced his epiphany. He wouldn't have cared if anyone had seen him kiss the girl. Anyone other than _her._

The person that he feared to be behind him the most was _Beth. _Because just to see the heartbreak in her face on more time would have killed him. Beth was the one he was ashamed to see. He didn't want her to know about him being with someone else because…

He…he…

He cared about her.

Hell, he may even love her.

Sirius Black may _love _Elizabeth Taylor.


	32. Aftermath

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: Hey! I'm hoping this is an okay chapter. It was sort of rushed. Personally, I'm not too sure about it.**

Capelthwaite** commented on spelling errors and I hereby apologize for them. I hate spelling errors. And I hate proofreading (I don't proofread. Ever.) Which makes it sorta ironic. But if you do catch any like you mentioned before, please tell me and I would gladly fix it. I'll try to watch out for them.**

**And again to **Capelthwaite, **Jodie likes Remus, who used to like Lily. He let go of her though. And Jodie isn't really heartbroken, but I hope this chapter will clear up her feelings towards that. And…Remus doesn't really know right now.**

**I'm super glad you guys liked the last chapter. I'm glad **thestralwhisperer** commented on the ending too! I wasn't sure at the beginning whether Beth should have seen the kiss or not, but I figured it'd be less typical if no one was there. Something slightly different.**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed:) and please please continue!**

**Review!**

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It was a few days after Christmas. James walked out of his room to find a suit jacket lying carelessly on the couch. He picked it up and frowned.

"I believe it was yours," said a voice from behind him.

James smiled, knowing that Lily couldn't see his face. He made a thoughtful 'hmm' noise before answering. "No, I'm afraid I don't recognize this."

Lily stared at his back, her eyes widening. The jacket James was holding was the jacket the person at the masquerade Halloween party had left her with. She was so sure that guy had been James. This was the first time the notion that it _hadn't _been James entered her mind.

"Oh oh wait," he continued, his smile growing wider every second.

Lily cocked her head to the side.

"Yes, yes it is mine."

"Are you _sure _James?" Lily emphasized.

James turned around to face her, letting her see his brilliant smile. "Yes," he chuckled. It was then that Lily knew she had been played.

She groaned. "Jammmess!"

James laughed out loud. As he further inspected the jacket, he found that it appeared to be in a more worn out state then he had last seen it, which was on Halloween night. Suddenly, he smirked.

Upon seeing this reaction, Lily groaned again. "What now?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

"I see you've been keeping my clothing company," he commented lightly. "Tell me," he sad in a teasing manner, "did you hug it when you missed me?"

Lily felt the answer appear on her cheeks, but for the sake of her pride, screamed, "No!"

James took one slow step towards Lily. "Really?"

Lily stumbled back a step. "Really."

James took another step towards her. "Then why is it so worn out. I remember it being new."

"No reason," she replied hastily, backing up until she fell on her bottom on the opposite couch.

He took yet another step. "Must've been because you hugged it when you missed me," he coaxed.

"More like took it out to beat every time I was mad at you—which was always, may I add," she defended, noticing that he was just a step away from her now.

He laughed, a sound that gave Lily the chills. "Is that true?" he asked. He towered over her.

"Yes," she said weakly. Her knees would have given if she weren't sitting. "Okay partially."

He waited for more, placing one of his large hands on her cheek. The truth potion couldn't have been any more effective than this.

She blushed, still looking into his eyes. "And I hugged it when I missed you, –" she whispered, watching as he leaned down to her.

Then their lips met. Waves of electricity shocked the both of them, sending a tingling feeling from their heads to the tips of their toes.

And against his lips, she continued, "– which was also every day."

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That day, the students of Hogwarts who had stayed for the break witnessed something that should have gone down in history. For the first time ever, walking hand in hand through the halls of the castle was the most expected, and in a way, unexpected couple. Oh, everyone knew that they were meant to be, but everyone also figured it would never happen.

But it did happen and they soon had to acknowledge that. Because how could you miss the tall, dark haired boy with stunning hazel eyes, extremely masculine features, toned body, and boyish mischievous smile smiling at the petite, fair skinned girl with piercing green eyes, a head full of hair from the devil himself, a heart bigger than the world and an everlasting smile on her face. How could you miss the sparkling new ring on her finger? How could you miss James Potter and Lily Evans walking together, oblivious to all the staring, all the whispering, all the pointing and all the smiles?

"Earth to Lily and James?" said an annoyed Jodie as she waved her hand in front of the two.

They were now sitting in the Head's common room as a group enjoying one of the quiet. In 3 days, Hogwarts would be once again swarmed with an army of students. They were also relishing the time spent with all their friends. It was becoming rarer and rarer to see Peter around and everyone seemed so busy doing their own things lately.

She heard Peter call 'check' and Remus mutter a few curses under his breath. Jodie resisted the urge to sigh. It was December 31st…the last day of the year. If anybody asked her to reflect on the year as a whole, she would only have one thought – life wasn't the same as it had been at the beginning. So much had happened; so much that she resented and so much that she welcomed at the same time.

She resented that Beth and Sirius were sitting away from each other like the other had a contagious disease. She hated that Beth no longer smiled a true smile. Every little menial task had now become a struggle for Beth to complete. She hated that it had become this way.

More so, she despised how much she had changed. She looked at Remus playing chess, who seemed, as always, tired. _Remus, Remus, Remus. _Jodie hated his name, simply because it wouldn't leave her alone. She thought Remus, breathed Remus and even dreamed Remus. She hated that she couldn't go out with any boy, because her heart wanted it to be him. _Was this what it was like to like someone? _she thought, because if so, she never truly liked a guy before this

She _needed _to do something about this. Jodie Williams was an assertive girl, and unlike her friends, she didn't like to leave things up to fate.

All these things seemed so measly though, compared to what she hated the _most. _And thatwas the state the wizarding world and the impending war. But often more than not, she tried to forget about that.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, Sirius sat staring out the window with a glazed expression over his face. It had been like this for the past few days. The astonishment of his epiphany had yet to leave him. Three thoughts continuously ran through his mind. One was, _he loved Beth. _Another was, _he broke up with Beth. _

He remembered when he told the Marauders about his newfound ideas.

"_Guys," he said breathlessly after bursting into the shared room. Conveniently, James was there as well. He briefly wondered why James would be with the guys since he knew that James had planned to ask Lily out that night. But he let that thought slip away since he had more important things to share._

_Easily, Sirius ignored the glares around the room but wiped his mouth nonetheless. No use receiving another punch for some lipstick he wasn't aware of._

_His friends seemed to be waiting for him to continue rather than staring at his most likely flushed face, so he continued. _

How to start this? _he thought silently._

"_Um…I deserved it."_

_Remus looked up at his friend and asked, "what?"_

"_The punch. I deserved it."_

_Nobody spoke so Sirius continued. _Rip that band-aid off, _he chanted to himself._

"_I think I may love Beth."_

_And again, nobody spoke. This time though, Sirius didn't stop the silence. He just sat down and waited._

_Finally, James clarified, "You love her…but you broke up with her."_

_Sirius nodded dumbly, the wheels in his head turning. He almost didn't hear Peter commenting on how much of a mess he was in. Like he needed someone to tell him that._

With his confession had come his forgiveness, but Sirius hardly cared about that.

It was probably at that moment that Sirius came up with the third thought that now constantly plagued his mind. _How did he break up with Beth if he loved her?_

But Sirius knew how it had happened. To him, James was the one out of the four of them that was always head over heels in love. It had never occurred to him that he would ever feel that way.

Love was always so foreign to him. His mother never loved his father and his father had never loved his mother. Certainly neither of them ever loved _him._

From early on, he had learned that love was for the weak. He'd understood long ago that love was a treacherous thing to give. It was a weakness people could penetrate. Sirius wouldn't have survived if he was weak. There could be no chink in his armor.

It took Sirius forever just to _care _about someone and even now, the people he cared about were limited to this room. He took a minute to survey the seven people in the room. _And perhaps Mr. and Mrs. Potter, who had taken him in, _he thought, looking at James.

He had people who claimed to love him, but he knew it was lust. Lust, or love for popularity. No one loved Sirius. And the feeling was mutual.

That was…until Beth came along. Beth loved him. He knew that.

But when his 'family' had laughed at him, he felt the need to cover that new weakness. It wasn't easy to be the Black that wasn't a true Black. And because of that, Sirius convinced himself he didn't love. The only way to prove to himself, and the world, that Sirius didn't love was to break up with Beth.

The only problem in the otherwise foolproof plan was…he _did _love her. And if he was stupid enough not to figure it out then, he definitely knew that now.

Sirius Black did love.

That was what made him _different _than his 'family'. It was what made him better. He needed to prove that he did love—not that he didn't.

And now looking at the girl he had hurt so badly, with her eyes cast downwards, he realized that he was too late.

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**I would love if anybody could help me make this chapter a little better. I think my thoughts are sort of jumbled together. Not sure.**


	33. A New Year's Kiss

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: **

**I think...that this is my fastest update ever. And it's because of all your fast reviews:) really. I wasn't sure whether to put this up today or tomorrow. But...:) here it is.**

**Thanks **smile123 **for your review. Personally I don't think I'm that great a writer but thanks anyways. I just wanted to say that some of the ideas you had mentioned, I had thought about as well and I agree with some things you said too. I definitely don't think what you wrote was a flame, I think it was helpful. **

**The last chapter was a little uneventful, but I needed to put some of the character's thoughts in and I didn't want to just jump from Christmas to New Year's too fast, and you'll see why.**

**And to** Little Miss Elizabeth, **the ring was the promise ring given to Lily by James in the…31****st**** chapter. Also, about Sirius. It was more arrogance that made him listen to his family. And I'll take you're ideas into consideration, although I think they won't be used until the next chapter. Thanks for the help though.**

**Jodie and Remus' relationship is supposed to be one of those, not perfect/a little struggling type of relationships. You know, the one that seems a little awkward all the time and stuff, but I'm not sure really how to portray that. Any ideas?**

**Please review!**

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Lily had never really fallen in love before. Indeed, there were times she had thought she had fallen in love, like with Will so many years ago. Now that she thought about it, she decided it really wasn't love at all. More like…she didn't know.

But on this very New Year's day, Lily Evans fell hopelessly and carelessly in love. There was no denying it.

She leaned in closer, aware of the sweet scent enveloping her. She breathed in deeply, reveling at the lust that seemed to grow inside of her. Closing her eyes, she felt a serene smile grow on her face. Maybe love wasn't so bad after all.

Suddenly, James barged into the room, destroying the heavenly feeling bubbling inside Lily. Guilt flooded in her face as she attempted to hide what she had been doing.

"Lily?" said James uncertainly, his perfect brows coming together. "What were you doing?"

Lily tried to look away, for all the good it did her. "Nothing," she replied weakly.

"What's behind you're back?" he asked suspiciously, squinting his eyes.

"No-Nothing."

"Lily."

Her game was up. She was discovered red-handed.

She fell back onto the foot of the couch and pouted. "I made cookies?" she said sheepishly, looking at the obviously half eaten plate of chocolate chip cookies in front of her.

Without looking up, she pushed the plate across the table. "Happy New Year!"

James threw his head back and laughed while he walked towards his girlfriend. "Yes, Happy New Year," he chuckled, grabbing a cookie from the plate.

He sat down on the couch and pulled Lily up to sit with him. Instinctively, she yawned and leaned into his chest. "Tired, are we?" he asked softly.

Lily nodded. Last night, their friends had not left until well into the morning. They had counted down the arrival of the New Year together, although the tension was palpable in the room. Lily's New Year resolution had been that they would all get along happily, and everything would turn out right by the end of this year. She prayed it would come true/

"Take a nap," he suggested, wrapping his arm around Lily's waist. Lily tensed up a little beneath his hand and James felt it. He looked at her face, searching for rejection or any signs that he should let go. He found none.

"Nah," she responded. "Did you accomplish any of last year's resolutions?" she asked James, tilting her head up so that she stared straight into his eyes.

"Mmhmm," he replied, "I accomplished the most important one. There were others that failed miserably though."

Lily smiled. She had a vague idea what accomplishment her boyfriend was talking about. Nonetheless, she took the bait. "Oh, and what would that be?"

"I got you," he smiled. "You have no idea how long that's been on my resolution lists."

She laughed. "I have some idea." Then she returned her gaze downward, shifting her head into a more comfortable position. "And what failed?" she asked.

"Last year, I wrote my resolution's with the Marauders. We all decided we should aim to beat each other out in the number of detentions we would get that year. I was doing so well too," he shook his head at that thought. "But then after summer, I got the head boy letter. How was I supposed to win with that?"

"Aww, my poor James," said Lily mockingly, rolling her eyes in amusement. "And who won? No don't tell me. Sirius?"

"I was his only competition."

"I could've guessed."

Lily spoke again, "Hey James?"

"Yeah?"

"I suppose it'd be too much to ask for you to change your ways for me," she surmised out loud.

"I already have baby," he replied, running his hand through her long red hair. "But if you want, I could do better." It would be a worthy sacrifice for Lily to be his.

Inwardly, and perhaps even a little outwardly, Lily smiled. She imagined what life would be like if James were the perfect guy, who studied hard and never got into any trouble. His mischievous gleam would be gone, his pranking smiles would be gone, and…he just wouldn't be James anymore.

"No, no. I was just wondering, I don't mean it. I would hate if you changed," she admitted truthfully. "Imagine, I'd be dating a saint. How boring would that be?"

"You're dating the devil Lils," he laughed.

"Pretty much," Lily said simply, her eyes becoming heavier.

James looked out the window for a moment, before turning back to the conversation. But by that time, he found a sleeping girl in his arms. Unable to resist, James stared at Lily's sleeping form, admiring it. He couldn't decide whether she looked more, or less beautiful than usual. On one hand, she looked like a freaking angel at the moment—what with the afternoon sun shining down on them through the large windows of the room. But on the other, she looked so eager and vivacious when she was up.

He decided that she was the most beautiful either way. And she was all his at the moment, and he intended to keep it that way.

And before he too, drifted off the sleep, the brief thought about a bet crossed his mind. But it was gone too soon for him to latch onto it.

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"And then there were two," sighed Jodie was she lay on her bed with Beth beside her. It was one in the afternoon, and the two of them were still lying lazily in bed with their pajamas on. It wasn't like they had anything to do.

"We're pathetic aren't we," declared Beth, surrendering to the idea.

"No, we're strong, independent women who don't need men to complete our lives," said Jodie, suddenly having the strength to sit up. And then it all rushed out of her as she fell back onto the bed. "Yes, we're pathetic."

"Knew it," sighed Beth. "Pathetic, pathetic, pathetic."

"Couldn't you come up with a better sounding word?"

"Didn't know there was a better way to put it," Beth pointed out.

"There isn't," Jodie answered dully.

"Oh."

"Yup."

"Woot."

"Yup."

"Shut up."

There was a pause.

"Yup."

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"Yup," said Remus in the boy's respective room.

"So you're telling me, three out of the four Marauders are sitting in their dorm playing _chess _on New Year's day when probably even Snivellus has a date," repeated Sirius disbelievingly.

"Yup," answered Peter, watching the game between his two friends. He would be playing the winner next.

"Check. That's about right Sirius."

"Crap," muttered Sirius, moving his king to the left. Then he looked up and continued, "so you're telling me—"

"Yes Sirius. _Yes. _For God's sake, stop repeating it."

"This shames our name," said Sirius unhappily.

"Well why don't you go do something about it," suggested Remus, "Check again."

"_Crap!" _He moved his rook to block the pathway. "And I can't do anything about it remember?"

"Not really," replied Peter easily, which earned him a hard frightening glare, courtesy of Sirius.

"Just go apologize to her," said Remus, "Check."

"I can't," replied Sirius. He didn't know how. Sirius rarely ever apologized to a girl—he never really had a need. And when he _did _apologize to a girl..well, it usually ended up becoming something…a little more. In a room.

And he certainly didn't want that with Beth. He wanted it to be sincere. He wanted _just_ to apologize.

Not only that, but whenever he was around her, all his smooth words seemed to dissolve and turn into a bunch of ah's and um's. When he needed his charm the most, it _had _to just disappear. He just didn't know what do to around her. And that frightened him.

Because ever since he was 12, he just _knew_ what to say and do around girls. He had never been like those awkward little boys who seemed to choke when they tried to talk to girls. He had never had the horrible experience of asking a girl on a first date. He found it rather fun to tell the truth.

And now, that was _exactly _how he felt like. He had always taken his charm, or his way with girls, for granted. Now, he was sure to appreciate it. Whenever he was around Beth, he seemed to feel the need to just run away. And whenever he was near enough to her, he couldn't utter a single word. The speech he always had prepared seemed to die in his throat, lost in the thoughts about how pretty she looked even when she was sad.

That brought him to his last problem. She probably wouldn't forgive him anyways. He had yet to talk to her, but he was pretty sure she would just run away. At least he _resisted _that urge. But then again, she had reason to run. He didn't.

Sirius was afraid of….rejection. Never in his young life had he been truly rejected by a girl. Oh, there were the occasional, but he had never really cared about them. He cared so much about Beth it hurt him. And if she rejected him…he just didn't want to think about it.

He moved the pawn he was fingering forward absentmindedly.

"I win," declared a triumphant Remus, snapping Sirius out of his daze. "Can't believe you didn't see that."

Sirius sighed.

"You know what," Remus said, noticing the change in Sirius' demeanor, "Wormtail would you like to take a walk with me?" He wanted to give Sirius some time alone.

"Not really."

"Wormtail," Remus said firmly, looking discretely at Sirius.

"Huh?"

Remus closed his eyes in frustration, then looked at Sirius pointedly.

"Oh, _Oh. _Okay," responded Peter, finally understanding.

When they made it to the door, Remus spoke out.

"Sirius, will you be able to make tonight?"

"Of course Moony."

He looked up at the bright blue sky. It seemed so beautiful, yet behind it, was danger. Once the blue peeled away, revealing the dark night and the full moon, the danger would appear. More so for his friend than anyone else.

Sirius frowned. Maybe his problems weren't nearly as big as his friend's.

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The clock chimed, signaling yet another hour had gone by.

Beth peeped open an eye cautiously. "Is it over yet?" she asked.

Jodie struggled to prop herself up on her side to look at the clock. With a giant sigh, she buried her head in her hands. "Seven hours until the day is finished."

"Seven?!" screamed Beth. "That means we were only asleep for half an hour."

Jodie picked up her teddy bear and threw it in the air. Then she caught it, and threw it back up.

Up it went, and then back down. "I've never not had a date on New Years since I was a fourth year man."

"Then go get one."

"I want…"

"Remus, I know. He's never going to take the hint Jodie."

"God, I know."

"So do what you do best?"

"And what's that?" she asked, as if challenging Beth to insult her.

The corners of Beth's lips twitched, but still, no smile came. "Be up front and blunt. In his face."

"I could be insulted," Jodie pointed out, smiling to herself. She threw the poor animal up in the air once again.

"But you're not."

Suddenly, Jodie stopped the torture of the teddy bear. "Maybe I will," she said aloud, thinking about what she said the night before. What better day that the start of a new year? Then again, she wasn't too sure about leaving Beth alone. She seemed more talkative today, although Jodie was sure that was just a front she put up to please Lily and herself.

As if her friend could read her thoughts, Beth spoke. "It's fine Jodie, go." She turned to her side as well, facing Jodie. "Go and make a boy happy. And yourself. I'll be fine, so long as I don't see his face."

"But if you did see him, I should probably be worried for _him_ shouldn't I," responded Jodie cheekily, earning a small smile from Beth.

"I don't think I really could hurt him," she admitted quietly, and in that very moment, Jodie felt like crying for her friend. She sounded so vulnerable and disheartened.

"I don't mind staying you know."

"I know, but I don't want you to. Go."

Jodie stared blankly at her friend. Beth didn't seem like she was going to break down anymore.

"Alright."

And together, they dressed Jodie and made her up. Beth chose skinny jeans, and a large white sweater for her friend, in case they would be meeting indoors. Then, when her make up was done and her hair properly brushed, Jodie slipped on a scarf, a winter coat and boots. Nothing too fancy for the day.

"Wait!" yelled Beth as Jodie was about to depart.

She ran to her trunk and pulled out a wooly white toque hat. "Perfect," she declared. And it was. "Now go, go, go and make me jealous," she said with a small smile.

A smile which fell right as the door shut. "And then there was one," she whispered.

Beth didn't really mind that her friends were out with guys without her. She was just…a little jealous.

During the afternoon that day, Beth had imagined what this New Year's day would have been like if she were with Sirius. And just thinking about it hurt.

Then her thoughts had molded into a picture of him and another girl having a romantic dinner and her stomach turned sour. She felt like throwing up.

She had always felt queasy when she saw of him with someone else throughout her seven years at Hogwarts. That happened quite often actually. She couldn't help it though, because she had fallen hopelessly for him when she had been 11 years old. Liking him was like a having bad habit. She just couldn't kick it.

And when he asked her out, she felt like she was a fairy tale princess with her dreams coming true. She wasn't naïve though. She had always known he might leave her. She had seen it often enough.

But Beth didn't have the heart to reject him, because she ached for him. She had resolved to just not lose her whole heart to him. And during their relationship, she had always told herself to keep herself at arms length—to not get too attached. She had reminded herself constantly of all his discarded girls. But as time passed, those thoughts got weaker and weaker and in the end—

In the end, it happened. She let herself get too close. She fell in love with him.

And what did she get in return. A nice hard kick in the stomach.

She just didn't know what had happened. Nothing had seemed amiss with them the day before. They didn't have an argument, or disagreement and she was pretty sure she didn't do anything wrong.

At first, Beth had hated him for doing this to her. But as days passed, she just felt numb. She had accepted that she would have to see him around—for the sake of their friends. But every time she saw him, she would have to fight the urge to cry.

Beth wasn't a particularly weak girl. She wasn't the type to cry over every little thing. It was just that Sirius was a soft spot for her. He always had been.

Beth was sure about one thing though. If she was given the choice to go through this all again, or never have gone out with him at all, she would choose to go through it again in a heartbeat. Because she had been so deliriously happy while she was with him.

_What did that say about her? _Beth thought. _That I'm hopelessly, and foolishly, in love with a bastard. _

She had learned her lesson though. And although she knew it was inevitably that she would always have a weak spot for him, she wouldn't let him penetrate it again.

No. Because she was sure that if she ever gave her heart to him again, he would crush it. And then…and then, Beth may not be able to pick herself up after that.

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Jodie looked all over for Remus, but he seemed to have just disappeared off Hogwarts grounds. Jodie didn't doubt that that might have well been true. The Marauders had done it often enough.

After looking everywhere, she decided the best way to catch him was just to wait him out back at the common room. That would give her some time to think anyways.

That was where she was at that very moment, with her jacket and hat laying beside her.

"Remus," she whispered, "I think I like you."

She paused, and waited.

"No," she concluded. "Too…typical."

"Hey, who do you like," she whispered quietly. "Because I think I like you."

She considered. "No."

She let out a breath, putting a hand over her stomach trying to quell the slaughter of fluttering butterflies. She would go through with this—it wasn't her first time to profess her love to a guy. _It wasn't that different_, she reminded herself.

But it was, because for some reason which she couldn't place, Remus meant more.

At that moment, said person walked alone into the common room and Jodie's breath caught in her throat. The words she had planned to say flew right out of her mind.

Still, she managed to get up and call, "Remus!"

He had already been walking over to her though. He smiled tightly, but Jodie was too caught up in her own thoughts to notice his strained expression.

"Hey," he greeted in his voice. It wasn't seductive, but rather, kind and sincere. That was one thing that Jodie liked about him.

And in her thoughts about his voice, her improvised speech flew from her mind as well.

"Uh."

_Great. Now she looked like a bumbling fool._

But he just continued smiling patiently.

Jodie Williams was a bold girl, everyone knew that. She was a girl that wasn't afraid to show you what she meant. She could create trouble, cause scenes, and pick fights. She was the type of girl that would laugh in your face, and not behind your back. Because that was just who she was.

So it really wasn't a surprise when she lifted herself to her toes, placed her hands on Remus' shoulders for support, and kissed him fully on the mouth.

And when that was done, it wasn't a surprise that she was rather pleased with herself. _Not typical in the least. _

Remus looked at the girl in front of him while blushing furiously. "That was…a surprise," he mumbled, causing Jodie to laugh. Her laugh was almost a nervous laugh.

"So," she said.

"So you like me." he stated, the disbelief evident in his words.

She nodded, then said, "I would think that was obvious enough."

Remus smiled slowly. "I like you too," he said. And he wasn't lying. Over the past few weeks, he had been thinking about her. She had been the first girl he thought about after Lily. He wouldn't have really acted upon it though, for many reasons. Mostly though, it was because he was a werewolf.

Jodie smiled brightly in return.

"But I have to go Jodie, I really do. Tonight, I have—I have some important stuff to do." Jodie felt her smile fade like a star retreating from the night.

Still, her head automatically bobbed and he turned away from her.

And just as she began to turn away as well, he caught her hand.

He had turned back.

She looked up at him quizzically. Remus leaned down and gave her a quick, short kiss on the cheek. "But…" he paused, tormenting her, "how about a date on Monday?"

A thousand thoughts ran through her mind at that moment, ranging from snapping retorts for teasing her, to eager responses. "Why not tomorrow?" she asked carefully, afraid that somehow, she would say the wrong thing.

"I'm going to be away a few days after tonight," he answered as truthfully as he could manage. What else could he say? I'll be in the hospital, but don't visit me.

He waited for her response, fully expecting a demand for further explanation. Something which he couldn't give.

But she seemed to sense that that would be all he would say because she never pushed it. "I would love to," she whispered, "I would really love to."

He gave her hand a quick squeeze and then disappeared up the stairs.


	34. A Wolf Howl in the Night

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: After writing this, it seems a LITTLE random but I'm really hoping its not.**

**Well, it's not supposed to be at least, but that's a given.**

**Please review!**

**And. OMG THE REVIEW BROKE 200! THANK YOU EVERYBODY WHO DID REVIEW. I love you all. :$(that's the blushing smiley.)**

**Review, review, review!**

**That's probably the most overused word on fanfiction.**

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Lily looked up at the cloudless sky, marveling at how beautiful the bright round moon seemed to be. It was the only light pinned on the blanket of black covering them. There were no stars that night to steal the spotlight from the moon, and even if there were stars, Lily doubted they would do anything but earn a few non-committed glances. But the moon, that would earn stares.

James had said earlier that he needed to go do something with his friends tonight, and Lily had gladly obliged to stay in the tower alone. She needed to clean her desk anyways; months of old papers had been piled up on it.

Upon thinking about her messy desk, she grimaced. _Better start now, _she decided, picking up her feet and heading to her desk.

"Fwooper," she read aloud. _An African bird that produces the feathers for most quills, _she recited in her head while creating a pile for her care for magical creatures class.

"Amortentia," she murmured next, "Potions."

And one by one, she sorted through her stack of papers.

The clock tick

Suddenly, a long mournful howl from outside caught her attention, and she turned to face the window. There were no wolves at Hogwarts.

But after moments of silence, she merely shrugged and returned to the task at hand. As she lifted the next paper though, she paused.

"Werewolves," she whispered, a light bulb appearing in her head.

She quickly skimmed through the essay she had written over a month ago for transfiguration about the difference between werewolves and sanguins.

"…doesn't attack animals…normally in the shape of a human…transfigures every full moon," she murmured quietly to herself, glancing every now and then out the window.

She felt herself shiver, and a idea began forming in her mind.

The Marauders always disappeared around the time of a full moon. Lily couldn't be sure when it began for she had never paid much attention to them before but she had often heard that once in a while, all four marauders would be missing from bed.

People usually associated that with them preparing for a prank, but James had told her recently that Sirius and Peter never liked to be out of bed past two, contrary to what people thought. He had joked that they needed their beauty sleep. She wondered if that were really true—the whole disappearing thing. She decided to see where they were.

And then as Lily briskly walked out of the head's dorm, she remembered the night when he had stood her up. She remembered waiting quietly in her room, hoping to hear him return to his room so she could confront him. She couldn't quite recall when she had fallen asleep, but she was pretty sure it had been late.

She entered the Gryffindor common room behind a fifth year girl, and rushed up the steps to the boys' rooms. Lily prayed that the Marauders weren't in any trouble and were there. It was nearly curfew.

They weren't there.

_Where could they be? _she wondered. It wasn't unusual for the Marauders to be sneaking around past the curfew, but somehow, Lily's instincts told her something was up.

She slowly walked back down the stairs, wondering whether she should look for them or not. She really didn't want to be the type of girlfriend that wouldn't let their boyfriends hang out with their own friends. Then again, this wasn't just about James. It was about her friends—all four of them.

Lily walked out the portrait hole, deciding that she would 'check up' on the prefect on duty tonight. It had been her turn just a few days ago so tonight wasn't her night to patrol. Unfortunately, the only other prefects staying were the Slytherin prefects.

That was precisely the reason that at quarter past 11, she was wandering through the dungeons. She figured that she would have more of an excuse if she were caught if she was down where the Slytherins' were—even if the prefects were to patrol the whole school.

"Well, well, well," sneered a voice from behind her. "It isn't every day you see a goody-good Gryffindor like yourself walking through the halls past curfew—especially the Slytherin halls."

"Snape," Lily returned coldly, turning around.

"Evans," he said easily, his sleek, black hair gleaming in the light given off by the torches. In the light, his eyes seemed like an endless pitch of black—unrelenting and unforgiving, emotionless.

"And what are you doing here?" she asked coolly, not letting him see her unease at the situation. She didn't have any more reason to be here than he did.

"I'm a Slytherin. I belong here," he pointed out, looking away from her as if bored from the conversation.

Lily knew that of course. "It's past curfew Snape," she snapped. "You belong _inside _the Slytherin dorms." She emphasized the inside, reinforcing the word with a quick glance at the blank stone that would become an entrance for the Slytherins.

"And you belong inside the _Head's _dorm," he sneered, "Or is her majesty the head of the school too good to follow rules? Learning from your new boyfriend I see." He snapped his head back to focus on her as he said the last part.

"What goes on between James and I is none of your business," she said irritably.

After a moment, Severus spoke again. Except this time, his voice was softer, and much, much quieter. "He's not good for you Li—he's just not good for you."

"What? Because his pure blood his too good for my filthy one," she snapped back, refusing to acknowledge his softer tone. "Find something new to say Snape."

Severus looked at the girl in front of him. The girl he used to love. The girl he loved. The girl that he lost—lost to a foolish boy like James Potter. Anger flooded him.

"Just leave Evans," he said, once again looking away. "Run back to your Jamesie…but don't say I didn't warn you when he breaks your heart."

Lily shuddered at that nickname, once used by Lynne. "Looking out for me like the good friend you are, right Snape?" she said, raising her voice just a little bit. He completely ignored her though.

"But wait, he's missing isn't he," Severus laughed mirthlessly. "And you don't know why," he guessed correctly.

Lily remained silent. _How did he know? _

"Well, I'll enlighten you," he said slowly, "he's out dealing with Remus' furry little problem." He laughed at that and then murmured a quiet word. Lily watched as the blank slate became an entrance. He cast one parting sneer at her before stepping in and disappearing.

But that all ceased to matter to Lily, because at that very moment, it all clicked inside her head.

_Remus' furry little problem. _

_Werewolves._

_Full moons._

Remus was a werewolf. Oddly, that just seemed to make sense.

It explained everything.

Remus was a werewolf. And Lily was sure as hell that James, Sirius and Peter were in on it. She briefly wondered whether perhaps the four of them were werewolves.

_But no, _she decided because Severus had said _Remus' _furry little problem. And James always spoke of _Remus' _furry little problem. It was Remus who was missing a few days a month. _After every full moon, _Lily concluded, walking instinctively back to the tower.

She felt numb. She felt scared—more for James, Sirius and Peter than for herself. She felt surprised. But most of all, most of all, she felt she needed to talk to Remus.

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Lily woke at the crack of dawn the next morning, barely catching a wink of sleep the night before. She had tossed and turned relentlessly, refusing to let herself get up and search for the boys. She knew that was foolish. There was nothing she could do to stop anything from happening. And apparently, they had done this many times before. She told herself to feel better at that thought, but it never worked.

Hence, she was awake at 6 am, dressed and ready to go.

Lily decided that they would be tired and needed rest, so she began to plan what to say. But then again, _how do you confront someone about being a werewolf? _

She barely knew anything about it.

Oh, she knew the facts. She had read her paper on werewolves the moment she returned last night. But knowing the facts was only so much, and Lily understood that the feelings must run much, much deeper.

At 9 o'clock she headed to the hospital wing, but not before checking to see that James was sleeping safely in his bed. That calmed some of her nerves.

She creeped into the hospital wing to find it practically abandoned. She had almost thought that there was no one in there, before catching Remus sitting up in the furthest bed from the doors.

"Remus?" she whispered, just in case he was sleeping.

As she neared him, she could see the stricken look on his face.

"Hey Remus," she said softly, pulling up a chair beside his bed. The bloodstained shirt and the many scratches covering his skin, some deeper than other, were a telltale sine that she had been correct.

"Wha—" He cleared his voice. "What are you doing here Lily?"

She bit her lip. "Ummm.." She watched as he pulled the blanket up to cover his shirt, but soon abandoned the idea when he figured that it would do no use.

"Last night, I looked out the window and I saw the beautiful moon." When Lily said this, she had turned her head to the big open windows that revealed the bright new day but she still caught the visible flinch from Remus when he heard the words _beautiful moon. _

It seemed ironic that a beautiful moon could bring him so much pain. The moon was his biggest fear.

"And as I was thumbing through some of my papers," she continued quietly, "I stumbled on the old transfiguration paper about Sanguins and…"

She turned to look him in the eye, daring him to look away.

"…werewolves," he finished for her, looking at her.

"Yes," she gulped, "werewolves."

Remus didn't doubt Lily's intelligence. He had long wondered when anybody would connect the dots. His secret shouldn't have even stayed a secret for so many years. It would have been easy to keep if he had been just a mere nobody amongst the hundreds of Hogwarts students, but he was a Marauder—the famous four.

"I figured it out," she whispered.

He could only manage to choke out some sort of weird noise in response.

Her next words surprised him though, unclogging his throat.

"And I'm sorry," she said, her eyes gleaming with a layer of tears. "I'm so sorry."

She reached her arms around him and pulled him into a loose hug. He felt pain course through his sore body, but relished the embrace nonetheless.

"Aren't you scared of me?" he asked her quietly after pulling back from the hug.

"Why should I be?" she challenged, smiling. "If you wanted to hurt anyone, you would have long ago. This wasn't your choice. You never asked for any of this did you?"

He paused. "No," he conceded, "I didn't."

Lily continued slowly, hesitating to ask. "And….the Marauders…aren't scared of..you," she said. She wondered if she was overstepping the line but was relieved when he seemed to form a small smile.

"Yes, yes," he nodded. "You're dying to know more aren't you?" he asked.

She laughed. "Not if it bothers you," she answered.

Remus considered it. He had never talked to anybody about his problem save for the Marauders. He had never thought that anybody else would accept him.

He smiled.

"Not at all."

She seemed to read his thoughts. "But when you're fully recovered," she said.

Lily pushed her chair back and stood.

"My lips are sealed Remus," she said as an afterthought, before placing a small kiss on his cheek and leaving the room.

"I knew," he said to no one in particular, after she had left, "I knew it would be you who figured it out." He shook his head, as if chiding himself.

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It was the day when the school flooded once again with students that Lily and Remus talked again. That also happened to be just the day after.

James had decided that he would visit Remus that day, and Peter had decided that he would hang with Lily, Jodie and Beth. Sirius immediately chose to accompany James. He just felt so awkward around Beth now. In her presence, he felt like mud. He couldn't say anything. He couldn't do anything. A guilty pile of mud—which was obviously what everyone wanted to feel like.

He couldn't handle hearing himself stutter like a fool—and he wasn't even talking to _her_ when he stuttered.

But when they arrived at Remus' bed, Remus had kindly told them to come back in half an hour. In the meantime, he wanted to talk to Lily and only Lily.

"Lily," James called once he entered the circle formed by the four. Sirius was standing a little behind him. "Remus wants to talk to you?"

He raised the end of the sentence a bit, wondering why his friend would want to talk to Lily.

"Remus?" she asked.

"Yeah."

She rose, giving Jodie and Beth a smile and James a quick squeeze of hand before leaving.

"I thought Remus was away," said Jodie once Lily had left.

James stuttered in response, "He is. Sort of." Sirius smacked him from behind.

"You do better," he hissed to the person behind him.

Sirius stepped up. "He-he—" he managed. Then spoke quietly to James. "I can't, she's here."

James rolled his eyes.

"So Remus wanted to talk to Lily alone?" Jodie asked, frowning. _He had clearly told her he wouldn't be available until Monday. Today was Sunday. And yet, he was available for Lily?_

"Apparently," shrugged James, flopping onto the couch beside her. "Why are you so worked up anyways?"

Jodie hesitated. "No reason."

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"In third year, when we had to face a boggart in DADA, mine took the shape of a moon," Remus confessed. "That was when I thought everyone would find out."

Lily remembered that class. She wondered why she didn't think of it then but Remus answered her question.

"That happened after James, Sirius and Peter found out so they helped me cover it up. They turned Snivellus hair and robes pink, and by the time the laughter had died down in the class, everyone had forgotten about the moon."

"Oh," said Lily, "I remember now. I think I even hexed James because of that."

"Probably," laughed Remus.

"Oops."

"Well, you didn't know."

She didn't respond, instead, waited for Remus to continue.

"I always feared the moon the most because I was afraid of turning. You don't know how its like Lils," he whispered hoarsely.

"I don't," she answered sullenly.

"You lose all your human qualities. All you know to do is to be a wolf. You have no control. Your mind has no power over you anymore. But it's not the loss of control that scares me. I know what I'm capable of as a w-werewolf Lily, and it scares me." He took a deep breath. "I hurt people. I have before."

"Have you ever..bitten anyone?" asked Lily quietly.

"No. Nearly once but the guys stopped me in time. It was Janice Stellinga."

"How did they stop you?" Lily gulped, wondering if they knew how much danger they were putting themselves into. But something wasn't right. "Wait, how can they come near you when you're...in the other form?" she asked quietly.

"I don't know how they stopped me because I can't remember anything that happens when I'm a werewolf. They say it wasn't that bad, but I doubt it. They were probably just trying to comfort me."

"Oh Remus," cried Lily softly.

"It makes life hard sometimes, all the secrets and the guilt, but you learn to live with it."

Suddenly, Lily knew why Remus rarely dated. She understood why Remus never got too attached. It wasn't because he was simply shy. It was because he was self-depreciating.

Lily wanted to wipe all her friends' pains away.

"There's nothing that can be done about it Lily," he said.

She felt a tear roll down her face. For her friend.

He smiled. "It's already a lot better that I know some people can accept me."

He pulled her into a hug.

A new voice broke spoke out into the room. "That's his girlfriend you're hugging." It was said in a clearly jesting voice, but still, Lily and Remus broke apart.

"Hey James," said Remus, looking up to see his two friends smiling. At least they weren't misunderstanding anything.

Then he looked at Lily's sad face and nodded to James. James looked at Lily.

"Lils?" he questioned.

"I'm okay," she squeaked, rubbing the single tear. "Look at me, I'm crying when really, I have nothing to cry about."

James looked at Remus for clarification.

"She figured it out," he laughed.

"Figured what out?" asked Sirius.

"My furry little problem," answered Remus, his eyes twinkling. "She figured it out."

The boys' mouths fell open.

"Wha—"

"When?"

"Wha—"

"How?"

Apparently, Sirius could handle these situations better, since he could form real words.

"Yesterday, and it just came to me," answered Lily, keeping the part about Severus to herself. She was sure they would do something to get revenge on him. Besides, he hadn't really _told _her.

"And you know about us being animagus too then?" asked Sirius.

Now, Lily's mouth fell open.

"A-an-anima—gus?" she stuttered.

James jutted Sirius in the ribs, hard. "Yes, Lily," he swallowed, "Animagus."

She looked up at Remus weakly, who just smiled sympathetically at her, and then to the two boys.

"Animagus?" she repeated weakly.

The three nodded.

"And…Peter too?" she asked, her voice getting stronger.

They nodded again.

"I should've known better than to step into Marauder secrets," she mumbled under her breath, causing smirks all around. She glared at the three darkly.

"Okay, Potter, Black, Lupin…you've got some serious explaining to do."


	35. Love isn't my Weakness

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: I seriously love you all. But I'm sorry to say that since schools coming back to haunt me in like…1 day, my posting might be a little slower. I'll try to keep it at a new chapter every 3 days at most, but exams are coming soon too. **

**I'm planning to write more before the exams so I'll still be able to post them but…that's just a plan right now.**

**We'll see how it plays out.**

**Review review review again!**

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"Do we have to do this James, or should I say Prongs?" asked Lily, pouting to the boy next to her.

He rolled his eyes. "How many time do I have to tell you, stick with James! You calling me Prongs is just…weird."

"Fine. I just can't believe it…do we really have to do this?"

He sighed, imagining the four grand tables in the great hall lined with people for dinner. Everyone had returned since class began the next day.

"Not if you don't want to," he answered, "but, we'll have to eventually Lily."

She pinched the bridge of her nose lightly in an attempt to calm her pounding head. "Alright," she resigned. "It's not like they don't already know."

"True. Do you think we can stun even Dumbledore?" asked James, looking hopefully at Lily to see if she would laugh.

She did. "Honestly James, he knows everything. We could hardly surprise him. I'll bet he planned it all out. Why else would you have become head boy?" she joked.

"Thanks for the boost of confidence Lils."

She smiled and grabbed the hand hanging loosely at his side. "Ready?"

He gave her hand a tight squeeze. "Here we go." James stepped forward, pulling Lily along gently, towards the doors of the great hall.

"Remind me again why your friends didn't wait for us," she hissed as she stumbled forward to catch up with James' long strides.

Together, they stepped through the doors and stopped, unsure of what to anticipate.

Nothing happened. Everyone in the room continued their chatter with their reunited friends whilst eating. Lily breathed a sigh of relief and headed towards their spots at the table, her hand still in James'. Sirius and Jodie had saved two spots between them.

And then, she heard the clatter of dropped silverware. She stopped moving, causing James to nearly run into her.

"What the—Lily?" asked James, suddenly also aware of the quietness in the room.

He looked around to see that everybody, even the Slytherins at the far table, were looking at them—staring at them. Their glances went from their intertwined hands to their faces, back and forth disbelievingly.

Lily looked up at the teachers' tables only to encounter a similar reaction.

She suddenly felt very self-conscious, hating now that she hadn't chosen a more flattering outfit to wear. She lifted her free hand to smooth over her hair instinctively, but snapped it back to her side when she felt wet patches under her arms.

"Somebody up there hates me," she cursed under her breath. She felt James squeeze her hand again and she felt comforted by the fact that he was there beside her. She looked over at him and smiled.

Encouraged by her smile, James let go of her hand and put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He kissed her forehead sweetly, amused by the soft gasps echoing around the room. Then he smiled politely at the people around him, occasionally winking, before walking purposefully to their spot near their friends.

As if triggered by his act to move, the chatter started up again. The excitement in the voices was evident. James and Lily could feel many eyes boring into their backs. Actually, it felt like eyes were boring into them from all directions—the back, the sides and the front.

"That," commented Sirius the moment they sat down, "should get the award for being the most shocking moment of the year."

Lily chuckled and got up to spoon some mashed potato on her plate. She leaned over and put her hand on the large spoon. She froze when she noticed that her movement had caused almost the whole Gryffindor table to turn and stare at her. She let go of the spoon, and slowly leaned back into her seat.

"Jodie," she said, smiling sheepishly, "could you pass me some potatoes?"

Her friend laughed and helped her out.

"I just don't get it. What's so shocking about—" began Lily while she spooned some potato into her mouth.

"Lily, you've been rejecting the boy for years and suddenly, you're walking in here with your hand in his. Hell, while _smiling _even. No, nothing shocking there right?" said Jodie, handing back James' plate after spooning some mashed potato into his plate as well.

"Yes, but half the people had to have seen us around last week," Lily whined, conjuring up a glass of pumpkin juice.

"Nobody really stays around here over winter break," said Beth quietly, finally speaking up for the first time in a while.

Sirius, who had been about to say something, clamped his mouth shut and looked at his food.

"Besides, we stayed in the rooms a lot."

"Yeah, well they must've told their friends today!" said James.

"Who would've believed it? I don't even think you guys would've if we told you that you'd be together a month ago," Remus, sitting across from Jodie, pointed out to Lily and James.

"Fine, point taken. It's just weird," said Lily. She looked around discreetly. "Everyone's staring at us."

"No," said Peter, joining in on the conversation, "everyone's staring at you two."

"Great," commented James sarcastically. "Just keep your mouth shut buddy, you're not helping." In response, Peter quickly stuffed some food into his mouth.

"So Remus," started Jodie, "why were you in the hospital wing today? Are you alright?"

She was concerned, but she was also wondering why Remus had talked to Lily. She watched his face for any signs of deception.

"Tripped this morning," he said nonchalantly. "I blame it on Sirius' messy habits."

Surprising everybody, Beth spoke. "Sirius doesn't have…" she paused, aware that she shouldn't have spoken but continued anyways in a barely audible voice, "…messy habits."

Sirius blushed in his seat, secretly elated that Beth cared. It wasn't big, but it was something.

Remus shrugged it off. "You haven't seen our room."

Not able to help himself, he sent a knowing glance at Lily, which unfortunately, Jodie caught as well.

She looked from Remus to Lily, who were both smiling in a secretive way. A surge of jealousy shot through her. He had never smiled like that to her. It was the type of smile that contained hidden meanings, and secrets only the two people would know.

"Jodie?" said Lily, breaking Jodie out of her trance.

"Mm," she answered, looking at her friend smiling innocently at her. She sighed. Jodie knew she shouldn't be feeling jealous. Lily had told her enough times how much she liked James. In fact, it was endless. Lily would never go behind James and be with Remus.

It was just hard not to get worked up. Remus wasn't a very talkative guy, especially about his feelings. Jodie didn't know how to feel about him. He had said he liked her too, but how could she put away what she knew about Remus liking Lily before?

She wondered for the first time if he ever really got over her.

"Lily?" she whispered, "can I talk to you outside for a moment?"

Worried, Lily nodded silently and followed her friend out, ignoring the curious glances of the people around them.

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"What's up?" asked Lily, seating herself beside Jodie on the floor with her back against the wall.

"So, on New Years, I kissed Remus," said Jodie.

"And I quote: 'I swear he's like a cow. He can't take a hint. I think the only way for him to figure it out is if I walk right up to him and kiss him.' I didn't think you'd actually do it," laughed Lily.

Jodie chuckled. "I had no choice," she defended. Then she sobered up.

"Lily?"

Lily sensed that her friend had something to say so she kept quiet.

"I've changed Lily."

Lily looked at Jodie uncertainly. "Changed?"

"I guess we've all changed. I used to be like Sirius was you know? It was always boys, boys and boys. One after the other. He's not like that anymore….and….neither am I."

Jodie watched her friend nod.

"It's not a bad thing Jodie."

"I never used to get jealous. There never was a need. I never really cared I think."

"What are you saying?" Lily asked softly.

Jodie snapped back, "Just let me finish."

"Sorry," she apologized immediately afterward, "It's just…I used to want to be like Beth. You know, how she liked Sirius so much?"

Lily nodded. "I used to want to be like her too. To be able to really love someone, not caring about anything else."

"Yeah," agreed Jodie, "but now that I do like someone like that, I find that it's not really that great. It hurts. I've never doubted myself when it came to boys, but it seems that all I do now. I'm so confused Lils, I don't know what to do."

"Oh Jodie," sighed Lily, "That's how liking someone feels like."

Jodie stared at her friend, wide eyed.

"Yeah," conceded Lily. "Crazy. That's how I felt at first with James this year you know."

"Lily, you don't get it. I'm..I'm jealous."

Lily looked up thoughtfully. "Well, when you like someone, you _do_ get jealous a lot," she said, more to herself as she reflected on herself with James.

"No, no! I'm jealous...of _you."_

At that, she snapped her head back down. "Of me?"

"I'm not jealous because you and James are happy. I'm jealous because…you and Remus share something special."

"We don't—"

"I know he liked you Lily. And knowing you, you probably just pretended to be ignorant."

Lily bit her lip nervously.

"I'm right aren't I?" laughed Jodie sadly. "I was hoping you would tell me I was hallucinating."

"Jodie, it was a long time ago."

"Why didn't you just tell us Lily? You know you can trust me and Beth."

"I know, but…how could I tell you that the person you may like, liked me?"

"He looks at you differently you know, like today."

"Today?" asked Lily. "Oh! That wasn't anything." Lily didn't know how to explain. How could she tell her friend that the smile was because she knew Remus' deepest secret, without telling her what it was.

"You have to believe me Jodie, I wouldn't…you know. I mean, I have James!"

"I know Lily, I know _you_ don't like him. But what if _he_ likes you. You can't just pretend forever."

"He doesn't," said Lily firmly, refusing to let Jodie's suggestions bother her.

"But what _if?_" cried Jodie. "Don't you see? Whether you want it or not, Remus will always care for you in a way that he won't for me."

"Jodie. Remus is just shy—"

"Don't feed me that Lils, he's not _just _shy. There's something else."

_Yes, because he's scared that if he's with you, he'll end up hurting you. Because he knows he can't do long relationship. Because he needs to really trust you. _

"Remus likes _you_ Jodie. He may not act like it sometimes, but I know it's true. You have to trust him."

"I just don't know sometimes. I don't know how I fell for him."

"He does have a certain charm doesn't he," smiled Lily.

"Sort of an easygoing, boyish charm I'd say. Irresistable," laughed Jodie. "Oh, and he's got that whole mysterious thing going."

"Yes, I dare say he does," said Lily, pretending to consider him.

"Hey! Go back to dreaming about James!" laughed Jodie, lightening the mood.

"Wouldn't dream about leaving him in the first place," smiled Lily, pulling her friend in for a hug. Then she whispered, "I didn't know Jodie. I'm sorry. I should have told you."

Jodie pulled away. "I know you didn't mean to. And I know I really have no reason to be jealous. I just wanted to tell you."

Lily smiled. "I'm glad you did."

"I think we left Beth alone to face her worst fear long enough. How about we head back?" asked Jodie, who had already stood up by now and extended her arm to help Lily up.

Lily took the offered hand.

"You know Jodie. I like the new you."

"Me too."

"And I think you're right."

"About?" asked Jodie as they walked back.

"We all really have changed. Look at Sirius, and James. Me, and you. Even Beth."

"What about Remus then?"

Lily winked. "Not yet. But I know a certain blue eyed girl named Jodie Williams who might be able to do something about that."

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_Beth, I'm sorry. How are you?_

_Stupid._

_Beth, I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have broken up with you. Do you think that maybe, we could give it another shot?_

_Lame._

_Beth, James had thought it would be funny to feed me a potion that would say the _opposite _of what I really mean. That's what really happened that day. So what I _really _meant was I want to spend the rest of my life—_

_Okay, that's just stupid AND creepy._

"Beth," said Sirius, deciding to just go for it.

He watched as she looked up at him uncertainly from across the table.

"What?" she snapped.

"Beth," he repeated.

She narrowed her eyes, as if to protect herself from him—to create a barrier, a wall.

"Yes?" she prodded.

"Beth," he said again. He was stalling time. _I sound like an idiot who only knows how to say her name, _he thought.

"What?" She gave him a look that clearly said she was waiting.

At the moment, Lily and Jodie came back laughing.

"I miss you," he said quietly and quickly. And even though Sirius was certain no one had heard him, Beth did. Beth heard him.

She smiled inwardly, for the first time in nearly a week. He missed her. Then she made herself erase that smile.

_It shouldn't matter, _she yelled inside. But she knew…it did. _He missed me!_

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That night, Sirius found himself in the dungeons, similar to where Lily had been just two nights ago. Except in his case, Sirius had a clear purpose for coming down.

He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

When a Slytherin walked by him, he grabbed the person by the arm. It happened to be a second year boy.

"Kid, go in there and tell Regulus Black to come out here."

"H-he won't li-listen to a second year like me," the kid pointed out fairly.

"Listen," he said, roughly grabbing the person by the collar, "do you know who I am?"

The second year boy nodded immediately. "Sirius Black."

"Yes," he growled. "Tell Regulus his _brother _is outside waiting for him."

Then he let the boy scurry into the dorm.

"What do you want?" Regulus wore an expression on his face that clearly showed he was bored already.

"You were right."

"This is the day," said Regulus incredulously. "Sirius Black admitting that I, Regulus Black, was right. And pray, what was I right about?"

"I'm simply not a Black. Thank god for that. Remember when you told me that I shouldn't love and that love was a weakness?"

"Yes," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"You were wrong Regulus. You were so, so wrong. I _should_ love, and you know what?"

"Oh don't tell me," said Regulus in a condescending voice.

"I _do_. And that's what makes me not a Black. It makes me better and stronger than people like you. I do love. Love isn't a weakness, _brother, _and it'd do you well to remember that."

He paused to look at his brother.

"Don't even bother saying anything, because I don't care. I don't even know why I let you guys get to me last time. But I feel sorry for you Regulus. I feel sorry for you because you'll never know this feeling."

Sirius began walking away.

"I just wanted you to know. I love her and I don't give a shit about what you think."

Regulus would have never admitted it, but to the day he died, he had never once forgotten his brothers words. _Love isn't a weakness. It isn't something to be ashamed of. _


	36. Worthy of my Pride

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Note: Less than a week till my exams come!  
**

**A lot of conversation in this chapter. I hope it's okay. Please comment! I want to know if you like it or not, and I want to hear like..suggestions and stuff you know. They help:)**

**I wouldn't even mind if you told me to redo a chapter or something. My next chapter is already written:) but I think I'm not going to post it until Saturday. Sorry.**

**Also, the whole James Sirius and them making the bet thing isn't over yet alright?**

**Review review review again!**

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**IM SORRY!!! I PUT THE WRONG STORY! lol that was stupid. Sorry! **

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The month of January was nearing its end. James felt goose bumps rise on the skin of his bare arms. He rolled down the sleeves of his sweater after while packing up from potions class.

However, as he heard soft laughter echo through the room, he pulled his head up. He watched as the girl in front of him packed up her ingredients while talking with Alice. Apparently, Alice must have said something funny.

Lily shook her head as she pulled the elastic out of her ponytail, letting her long hair tumble down her back. Then she threw her head back and laughed again.

James silently slipped past his seat and down to the row in front.

"Guess who?" he said in the deepest voice he could manage, covering Lily's eyes with his large hands.

In front of the now blinded Lily, Alice laughed and resumed packing, leaving the two alone.

Lily lifted her hands to cover his.

"Hmm," she said thoughtfully, feeling his hands, "I'm thinking these feel like…Snape's hands."

James laughed and pulled her a step closer to him, still with his hands over her eyes. He resumed his alias voice. "Evans, how did you know?" he asked mocking the Slytherin boy.

"I don't know? Because I'm brilliant, smart, a genius?," allowed Lily.

"Oh, you're that and more Lilyflower," James said, forgetting about his act.

Lily turned around in his arms, sending him a smile. He had thoroughly decided that that smile should have been reserved for him, and him only. He wondered how many people had fallen for that smile before.

His heart skipped a beat in his chest.

_Bloody hell, _he thought, _if this keeps on, she's going to kill me._

Lily was thinking something similar. She stared into his hazel eyes, losing herself in them. They were so full of love.

When he finally blinked, her gaze traveled lower. She followed his long nose, his chiseled cheekbones and in the end, his beautiful lips.

"Beautiful?" he asked, hearing her whisper the word out loud. "Aw, are you calling me _beautiful? _I personally don't mind, but I think I prefer handsome more. Doesn't sound as girly."

She blushed, ignoring his arrogant remark. Although she would never admit it, she found that sometimes—just sometimes—his arrogance was sexy.

Lily tilted her head up and gave him a quick kiss on his lips. Then, while he was still recuperating, she ducked under his arms and hurried away with her bag.

At the door of the dungeons, she turned back and sent him another heart-warming smile.

James figured it was really then that he decided he needed to talk to the boys. He couldn't lose Lily. And he knew what he needed to do.

"Beth!" he called, as he entered the river of people streaming through the hallways. "Beth!"

The dark haired girl turned around. "Oh, hey James."

James noted how good she looked. It wasn't that he was thinking about other girls while he was with Lily, especially not her best friend, it was just that she looked a lot better since the beginning of the month.

She no longer looked as frail. The colour had flooded back into her skin—the red cheeks, the flushed skin tones, the shining purple eyes. She had gained back some of the weight she had lost.

Lily told him it was probably because of all the ice-cream. She said that she had gained some too. He had laughed and told her she looked better than ever.

He snapped out of his reverie.

Beth was wearing her Hogwart's sweater on top of skinny jeans and boots. It was a big difference considering all the baggy clothes she had been wearing before. James made a mental note to himself to notice more of what Lily chose to wear. It seemed a girl's wardrobe varied on their moods.

_Complicated creatures, the lot of them._

"James?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh right! Have you seen any of the Marauders around today?"

"I saw Sirius earlier when he walked with me to class this morning. Other than that, I haven't seen anybody else."

James had to give credit to his friend. He had single-handedly reverted Beth to her old self which was something even her best friends had trouble doing. The incredible thing about it was that they were really _just friends, _and although that wasn't what Sirius wanted, he didn't want to push it.

And James quoted, "It's all I can ask for really, at least we're friends." Honestly, Sirius was making James sick. Of course, this was only with the Marauders.

Sirius had now become the new James—what with the whole day-dreaming about a girl twenty-three seven and complaining about it during the other hour. Except this time, it was Beth not Lily.

Beth on the other hand, seemed perfectly content to stay friends, and James pitied his best friend because of that. He had had years of first hand experience with that type of thing.

He had tried suggesting to Sirius to ask her out again, but Sirius had firmly rejected that, saying that she needed her time and he understood that.

Again to his credit, he seemed patient enough. Not once had he even looked at another girl.

A year ago, maybe even a month ago, nobody would have pinned Sirius to be the type to fall in love. He had proved the all wrong. James was glad for his friend.

Whether Beth knew it or not, she had him hooked around her finger. James believed that she probably knew it, but didn't want to act on it.

He could understand her. Sirius had put her through a lot, and as much as Sirius regretted it, sometimes forgiving is different than forgetting.

That had been what Lily had taught him a while ago in the incident with Lynne. Occasionally, he would see her looking at Lynne from a distance and he knew—just knew—that she was remembering her with him. He shuddered at the thought.

Nowadays, they rarely spoke. The last time he had spoken with her was when she congratulated him after stepping into the great hall with Lily. She was with Craig now, and everyone was happy for them. He wished everyone could have their happy endings.

"Beth," he said suddenly, "are you going to the Quidditch game tomorrow?"

She smiled. That was maybe the _one_ thing that had changed about her after the incident. Beth never smiled quite as brightly as before. "Of course James, I haven't missed a game since when me and Si—a long time ago," she said, catching herself.

James smiled knowingly. _Time for a little Marauder meddling, _he thought happily.

"You never came to many games before this year," he stated in fake innocence.

She stuttered. "I-I…how would you know James? I wasn't really close to you before this year was I?"

"You're forgetting my infatuation, or as other call it, obsession, with Lily all those years darlin'," he said, resting his arm on his shoulder.

"I'm glad you two are together you know," she said, changing the topic, "you guys are good for each other."

"Don't try to—"

"You better not hurt her again James," she said without missing a beat, "it took her forever to take the leap. Don't make her regret it."

Somehow, James got the feeling she was talking about both Lily _and _herself.

"I regretted going out with Lynne you know. We make mistakes," he said softly. We as in Sirius and himself.

"What if I tell you that sometimes, after falling, you become afraid of heights? You just don't want to leap across again."

"What if there was someone waiting on the other side for you?"

"He left me though," she breathed quietly, "he pushed me to fall."

"What?" asked James, not quite hearing properly.

"Nothing," she said, forcing a smile, "Just don't hurt her again. She's had a bad experience with a guy before you know, but she never really talks about it."

_A bad experience, _thought James, _he had never heard that from Lily._ But he put that thought aside, focusing on the matter at hand.

"I'm pretty sure we weren't talking about Lily back there," he said.

"I'm pretty sure we were, in fact," she replied.

"He loves you Beth."

"No, he doesn't."

"He told his _brother _that he loved you. _That _has got to mean something."

"What?" she gasped. "Regulus?"

"Yeah, well that's what I heard at least."

"It must've just been a rumor James—you know better. When would Sirius really talk to his brother? I mean, practically every time they see each other, they start fighting."

"Maybe," he conceded, "and maybe not. You'll just have to ask him and see." He smiled, his eyes twinkling.

Beth shook her head. "And I thought your mischievous days were over."

"Never!" he shouted, "and besides, Lily secretly likes it." His head bounced in consent.

Beth laughed softly. "Any last attempts before I head off to muggle studies James? I might as well hear it."

James racked his brain. "Actually," he said slowly, "yes."

"Oh?"

"He took you to his spot."

"His spot?"

"See, we know Hogwarts better than anybody in this school, save for maybe Dumbledore."

"So I've learned over the past 7 years."

"And some places in Hogwarts' grounds are hidden away like treasure in the sand. Nobody knows about them except us."

Beth nodded. Hogwarts was so big, it was entirely probable that there were hidden places only people like the Marauders would know.

"We discovered most of these places over the year, not saying that we found them all." He didn't mention that they usually found them on the nights with the full moons. "And in our fourth year, we each chose a place for ourselves."

"Like staking claim to a colony?"

"What's a colony?"

"Never mind, continue."

"Well, these spots are really important to us. And we never really show it to people. You know, it's like a place that belongs to the each of us."

"The pond." Realization dawned on her.

"Yes, that was Sirius' spot."

"The pond," she repeated. A silence followed and James smiled.

"He's never showed anybody there before, if you're wondering."

Then, feeling as if his job was done, he turned and went the other direction.

"James!"

"What Beth?" he called back, without turning."

"You took Lynne to your spot then?" she asked hesistantly.

That made him pause and look back.

"There's only one girl I'll take to _my _spot Beth, just like there was only one girl Sirius had ever taken to his. Whether he knew it or not, he loved you."

"That's what you think," she said softly. "I was just another girl."

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"Jodie! Remus!" he called as he caught sight of the pair walking hand in hand.

"James!" yelled Jodie loudly, copying James, "we can hear you! You're only a meter away!"

James grimaced. "My ears."

Remus laughed. "What's up James?"

"Can I steal him away from you for a bit Jodie?" he asked with a smile. "Please?"

Jodie narrowed her eyes. "I hope Lily knows you're stealing _my _boyfriend. Cheating on her—with a guy no less." She shook her head while containing her smile. "She'll be heartbroken."

James laughed. "She knows," he said with a shrug, acting as if it didn't matter. Then he looked at her with big pleading eyes.

"Alright! I'll see you later Remus," she said, continuing the rest of her way alone.

Remus watched her leave.

"Done staring?" asked James impatiently.

"Nope, not quite." He watched as she rounded the corner. "Alright," he sighed dramatically, "what did you do this time?"

James narrowed his eyes.

"What?" laughed Remus.

"Come on," said James, "we have to find Sirius and Peter."

"They're in the room of requirement," replied Remus.

"Don't they have class?"

"Well now we know what to think of when we try to get in."

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"Guys," announced James once he entered the room. "I have something important to say."

They seated themselves around a desk that had magically appeared. He chewed the inside of his mouth softly, reconsidering whether he should do this or not. And then an image of Lily appeared in his head, helping him decide.

He sighed.

A loud plop was heard as James threw a small pouch onto the table in front of his friends.

They looked at him in confusion.

He nodded at the bag.

Peter picked it up, looking surprised as he heard the jingle of coins.

"60 galleons," confirmed James, sinking into the couch.

"But.."

"I-I.." stuttered James. He had never done this before. He placed his head in his hands.

"Wait wha—"

"I—" James tried again, looking up.

Remus smiled. _Sometimes, it was about knowing which was more important. _

James swallowed his pride.

"I forfeit."


	37. Mayhem

**Disclaimer: If Harry Potter were mine, I'd be freaking rich. Key word—if. I can dream can't I?**

**Ok, to **Capelthwaite **and anyone else confused, Jodie and Remus had a date set up for the Monday when school started again (remembering the New Year's Kiss). Since then, they began dating, although I never went into detail about how that had happened. I understand how it got a little confusing though, so I'll mention it in this chapter. **

**If you guys would rather me do a part about them on their dates or something, I could do that too, but it might be a while until things settle down a bit. Or I can edit a previous chapter. **

**Note: Review review review again!**

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Striding purposefully under the wooden stands placed high in the sky were six boys and one girl—determination in each of their eyes.

James led the group from the front, occasionally catching glimpses of the muddy ground through the holes between the supporting beams of the stands.

As he reached the wooden steps, he looked back at his team, each ready for the battle to come. He climbed the steps rapidly, his maroon robe trailing behind.

He took the position directly behind the closed wooden doors, listening to the footsteps of the others. In his hand was his broomstick, gripped tightly in anticipation.

"Ready guys?" he asked, staring straight ahead.

"Ready!" the returned enthusiastically.

"It's only Hufflepuff today, it should be no problem," James reassured, quickly glancing at his team. He gave a nod to Sirius, standing in a similar position at the back of the group.

Suddenly, the doors were thrown open and James whipped his head around. He quickly mounted his broom and took of, basking in the cheers all around.

The cold air tingled his skin, replenishing his anxiety and refreshing his body. The swish of air zipping past his ears made his blood course that much stronger throughout his body. He flew around the pitch once with his team before they parted.

James ascended into the air, watching as the players became smaller and smaller in the distance.

The quaffle was thrown in the air. The game had begun.

James released his hands from the broom and cracked his knuckles. Then he dived down, circling the pitch meters above the rest of his team.

"James!" called Angela Graham as she sped past him, the other team's chaser on her tail. "Watch out!"

James swiveled around just in time to see the bludger aimed for Angela head his way. He instinctively ducked, narrowly missing the ball. The crowd cheered.

He wanted to look for Lily, but he knew that would be completely foolish. For one, he could miss catching the snitch. Two, there were hundreds of people out here today. And lastly, she would probably yell at him if he had been distracted because of her.

He scanned the pitch for any signs of the snitch while circling the stadium once again.

"50-20 Hufflepuff!" shouted the announcer.

James shook his head. "Come on guys!" he yelled.

Sirius looked up and nodded his head before taking a swing at the black ball with his bat. It headed straight for the unaware Hufflepuff chaser about to receive the quaffle.

"Hewitt!" shouted James, but nobody had heard him. It didn't matter though because said person had already headed to intercept the ball while the Hufflepuff regained his position. James smiled in relief.

He gently tilted his broom upward, casting a glance to the other seeker. She was sitting idly in the air like him. _Good, _he thought. Then he felt a familiar fluttering noise near his ears followed by a distinct flash of gold.

He sprung into action, turning his broom around to the right with such force he almost fell off. James sped forward, aware now that many eyes were on him. There was no doubt the other seeker would be coming from the opposite direction. James and her would fly straight into each other if one didn't give way.

There was no need though, as the snitch decided to make a 90 degree turn to the left. The seekers turned, barely scraping each other, now traveling side by side across the middle of the court.

"Left!" called Sirius' familiar voice.

James immediately pushed his broom higher while the other seeker flew lower. A bludger flew right between them.

Then they resumed there positions, still traveling at high speed.

James reached out with his hand.

Seeing as only one of his hands was on the broom, the Hufflepuff seeker ran into him from the side, nearly causing James to fall over.

His broom turned sideways, but he managed to grab the handle and swivel upright. Deciding that it would be a waste of valuable time to continue the struggle with the seeker, he simply sped up.

He was almost within reach of the flying object. He flew higher and higher.

Nearby, the Hufflepuff beater's wayward bludger flew harmlessly by him.

Almost.

Nearly there.

Suddenly, an ear piercing scream ripped through the air. Shouts followed, soon to be covered by the uproar of the crowd. James looked back.

The stands were full of moving people, screaming and shouting.

He pulled his broom to the stop. Obviously something was wrong.

The Hufflepuff seeker did the same. It was only the two of them that high up.

"What do you reckon's wrong?" she asked, leaning down so her chest pressed against the handle of her broom to get a closer view.

James flew lower.

"They all seem to be moving," he said, squinting. "But nobody's really going anywhere."

The other seeker pulled up beside him.

James lowered a little further, beginning now to see some faces. "Oh my god," he whispered.

"What is it?" she called from above. Upon hearing a soft curse, she tried again.

"What is it?!" she said anxiously, nervousness in her voice.

"We're being attacked," he said in a low whisper. "Move!" he yelled suddenly, using the tail of his broom to knock the girl away.

She narrowly escaped the spell aimed for her head. Her broom briefly span in a circle, losing control.

"Let's go!" he shouted, watching as two masked men ascend quickly into the air on their brooms. "Go!"

The girl couldn't seem to force herself to move.

"Are they—?" she began.

"Death Eaters? Yes and they're going to _kill _us if you don't go," he bellowed, his instinct kicking in.

He made sure she began to move before speeding in the opposite direction of the men with her.

Through the loud whirling wind surrounding them, he asked, "Do you have a wand?" His heart plummeted as she shook her head wildly, her hair in her ponytail flying straight behind her like a stick.

"Alright," he said soothingly, "stick with me. Don't go any lower than we were before. I'm guessing there are death eaters down there too." He paused, thinking of his friends endangered below.

_But they'll be able to handle themselves, _he reassured himself, quickly looking behind him. _And the teachers are down there. And Lily. Lily will hex those death eaters until they wished they had never come in the first place. _He almost smiled, but didn't as he realized he had bigger problems to deal with.

It was two against one, and he was thousands of feet off the ground. He couldn't let…Marissa?...stay near him if he chose to deal with the death eaters as she couldn't protect herself. Yet he couldn't let her fly away—there could be others in the air.

That made him nervous, but he wiped those thoughts away.

He looked at the quivering girl beside him. The air was now freezing his face, harshly numbing his skin. It hurt to speak. "Don't worry," he reassured, sounding fake even to his own ears.

"I'm going to die!" she screamed. "I don't want to die. I don't want to die!"

James wanted to be anywhere but here.

"You are _not_ going to die," he said firmly.

"Those bastards killed my _mother. _And now they're going to kill me too!" she yelled, tears in her eyes.

James stayed silent and looked behind.

They couldn't keep running. There would soon be nowhere to go and the men were slowly gaining on them. The two seekers were tired because of the game, while the death eaters were refreshed and ready to attack.

There was also no way James could keep the hysterical girl by his side. She would panic. He would have to save her. They would both end up dead in seconds.

No, he would have to take the risk.

"Hey…um…Hufflepuff seeker!" he shouted.

"Hey! Listen to me!" he screamed, urgency evident in his voice.

"Marissa," she shouted back against the wind whipping around them. So he had been right.

"Marissa, do you see anybody in front of you at all? Anything flying?" he asked. He prayed and prayed the answer would be no. His head was still turned around at the Death Eaters. His eyes tearing as they became dry in the high velocity they were traveling at.

"Focus Marissa!" he shouted.

His prayers were answered.

"No…No! I don't see anybody," she yelled back after a while.

"Okay, you go ahead. Go far ahead. Don't come back. Don't go down. Just stay there!" he demanded.

Apparently, he had been pretty intimidating because she obeyed without hesitation. That or the fact that the two hooded figures were looming closer and closer.

James turned his broom around and reached into his robe, pulling out his wand.

"Protego!" he yelled as he saw a beam of yellow light head in his direction.

The two death eaters pulled up across from him, merely 5 meters away.

The three of them hovered in the air, each with their respective wands held ready.

"Well, well, if it isn't the Potter's boy," spat the first one, obviously the stronger and the leader of the two.

He looked back to his friend. "This should be fun."

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"Stupefy!" screamed Lily, directing her wand at the hooded figure advancing slowly towards her. It was no use, she was too afraid to steady her arm and aim properly.

She was standing with a group of terrified first and second years, shaking to the core of their very bones. She pushed them back, herself shaking as well. She put her other hand over the one on her wand, both sweating profusely. Lily tried to quell her trembling.

"You'll have to do better than that," the man snarled, watching the attack fly harmlessly by his side. He raised his wand, pointing it at a boy to her right.

"Cru—"

"Expelliarmus!" she shouted, willing herself not to miss. She didn't, as she caught his flying wand in her hand.

The man growled, and without a second thought, leaped at her.

"Duro!" she said, gaining confidence. The man was helpless to her spell. Lily heard yelps of relieved joy pass around her. She stared at the once man, now turned into stone, mid-motion.

Frantically, she searched the surrounding area with her eyes for other Death Eaters. There were none at the moment—but there was also no way out of here without running into one either.

She racked her brain, trying to think straight. It was difficult with the constant yelling surrounding her. There were just too many people.

Lily felt helpless as she noticed the anxious stares of the group around her. She was head girl; she should be able to _do _something.

How did the Death Eaters get into Hogwarts anyways? According to what she knew, the grounds blocked all apparation. They had to have flown here.

"Okay guys," she yelled, desperately trying to get their attention, "I need you to sneak under the stands and stay there. Crawl beneath the seats and hide."

Immediately, the defenseless children scattered.

"Don't leave, until we declare it's safe," she warned. "And do _not _get up!"

Upon seeing the empty area around her, she nodded. _It wasn't the safest to leave them there, but at least they were out of sight. _The problem with this attack was that a lot of the older students hadn't attended the game—and almost all of the younger ones _had. _They could barely cast a protection spell for themselves, as if it would do them any good anyways.

The older students, on the other hand, could defend themselves if they stayed calm and stuck together.

Lily looked to the teachers stands, comforted in the fact that they were fighting. It looked as if most of the Death Eaters had chosen to deal with the adults first, while the others stationed themselves around the exits. Nobody could get out.

She surveyed the scene. There weren't a lot of them. Forty at most—twenty at least.

She tilted her head up towards the sky, looking for any signs of their leader. Knowing Voldemort, Lily expected him to either be present watching the mayhem from above, or safely tucked miles and miles away.

She rather hoped it was the latter.

Finding no signs of him, she continued looking in the sky for James. She had last seen him as he and the other seeker flew up to catch the snitch. A scream had been heard a few boxes to her left, and she had turned to see what had happened.

Everything had occurred so fast. In one moment, everyone seemed to be lost, looking between each other, all wondering about the scream, and in the next, the Death Eaters had already descended into the stands and headed to their predetermined areas, hexing everyone in their way ruthlessly.

She had barely enough time to look into the empty pitch and notice James was missing. Then she had been tossed roughly out of the way by the statue, née Death Eater.

"Lily!" shouted Beth from below. Apparently, some of the men had left the adults to begin terrorizing and Beth was a victim.

"Beth!" cried Lily. She was too far away to do anything. Earlier in the game, Beth had decided she wanted to move to the front, and Lily was contented to stay at the back, where there was less of a crowd.

"Beth!" she cried again, as she saw her friend try and blast one of the Death Eaters away. The Death Eaters simply flicked his wand and the spell was deflected.

Beth stumbled back.

Beth looked between the two men, her heart thumping loudly. In both directions, there was no way out. In front of her was the quidditch pitch and behind her were the stands. If she tried climbing up them, one of the men would surely hit her with a spell first.

She was thoroughly trapped.

Then the men advanced towards her. One lifted his hand up, his thick scarred fingers grasped tightly around his wand. His fingers were grimy, nails filled with dirt—reminding Beth of a sewer rat. He put the wand under her chin, forcing her to look up.

Beth wasn't foolish and complied, although she sent a hard glare at the two men, now cackling madly before her. She shivered involuntarily. The cruel laughter was like the sound of nails on a chalkboard to her ear.

"Pre'y one ain't she?" one said roughly, in imperfect English. He took his wand of her chin and used the tip to push her bangs back.

"Aye. It'd be a pity."

Beth narrowed her eyes and shook her head, roughly forcing the wand away. "Let go of me."

The man returned his wand to her throat, no longer laughing. "Her wand," he said coldly to the other man.

The other death eater snatched her wand away from her reluctant hand. And no matter how hard Beth struggled, he was far stronger than she was. Then he dropped it on the floor and kicked it away.

Beth felt her hope die as her wand was ripped from her hand, even more so as she heard it roll against the wooden floor.

It seemed as though all the noise save the wand rolling had been muffled—the panicking people, the agonizing screams, the insane wild laughter, Lily's screaming her name…all gone—leaving only the echo of the wand against the wood in her ear.

Beth was powerless without her wand.

She was done for.

"What do you want from me?" she said, refusing to let her defeat be acknowledged to the two attackers. She refused to be humiliated…she refused to cry. Beth knew she would rather kill herself then let these despicable, vile men torture her, laugh at her and mock her. No, she would not be humiliated.

The man with the wand at her throat used his other hand to grip her arm. She shuddered at the thought of his hand on her skin—the scarred abused hand, filthy and dirty. He roughly swiveled her around, pushing the wander deeper into her flesh. She closed her eyes in pain. The throbbing in her head increasing with everyone moment the wand stayed in contact with her neck.

The man was muttering a chant.

"Grimes. Ypes… I'll kill you." stated a low voice in front of Beth. She almost didn't recognize it. It was so cold, so murderous. It was almost as if it was another Death Eater, but Beth knew it wasn't. It was her savior.

She heard two feet plant on the ground, and she assumed he was landing from his broom.

The muttering stopped, as did the throbbing pain, but the man never loosened his grip on her arm.

"Just like Regulus said," he cackled behind her. "Just like Regulus said."

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"Jodie, oh thanks god," sighed Remus, pulling Jodie into a big bear hug. They had been steadily dating since their first date a while back.

She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Remus," she cried into his shoulder. She pulled back. "The others?"

His expression was grim.

"Nobody can get out," said Remus, looking around to ensure it was safe. They were surrounded with people, but no Death Eaters seemed to be advancing into the crowd. It would be suicide on their part. "We should be fine if we stay in groups," he said. "There's almost two hundred of us and thirty or so of them."

"Except most of us can't do anything," she cried.

"It's fine Jo," he said, no smile appearing on his face as would usually happen, "it'd be suicide for one of them to head into such a big crowd alone."

"And the teachers?"

"They're holding them off. I think Lily got one of them."

"ALONE?" yelped Jodie. She wished Remus would correct her, but he didn't. Lily really was alone.

"She's trapped higher up over there," he said, pointing. "If she tries to head down the steps, she'd be heading straight into one of the positioned Death Eaters."

"She can't be alone! Where's James?"

Remus pointed up.

"Two Death Eaters followed James and Marissa Stevens up."

"Then…wait…How about the rest of the Quidditch teams?" cried Jodie, reaching out to grab Remus' arm for balance as she was pushed by another girl. Remus took her into his arms, positioning his feet wider apart to brace himself from the struggling and restless crowd..

"Most landed onto the stands."

"Most?"

"Sirius flew somewhere. And Henry Massie was knocked off the broom."

"Is he—"

"Nobody knows."

"How many are hurt?"

"Nobody knows that either. There are too many people. It shouldn't be a lot though," he considered. "No, the teachers have it under control, but we can't stay here Jodie." He was pushed forward, knocking into another person. "We have to find a way out."

Jodie nodded, understandingly. "But they have all the exits blocked…"

"Then we'll just have to unblock them," he resolved, "Stay here."

"No!" she yelled. Looking around cautiously, she answered, "Are you joking me? I'm coming Remus. I'm not leaving you."

He nodded reluctantly and grabbed her hand, ducking under the stands and into the space below. He began walking.

Unfortunately, the Death Eater at the nearby entrance saw them.

"Going somewhere?" she asked, ducking under the stands as well with her wand pointed at their backs.

"Mission accomplished," whispered Jodie. "That was fast."

And indeed, the Death Eater had left an entrance open for student to escape. Remus wrapped his fingers around his wand.

The Death Eater saw the movement in his robes though and immediately disarmed him.

"Expelliarmus!" she shouted.

Jodie, predicting the Death Eater's reaction, cast her own spell at the same time. She whipped around. "Confundo!"

The Death Eater stumbled forward, knocking her head against the low wooden roof over them. Then she wobbled unsteadily and fell to the ground, unconcious.

Remus quickly walked over to his wand. He picked it up. "Incarcerous," he said, watching as ropes magically wind around the knocked out woman. He knelt down beside her and kicked away her forgotten wand.

"Better safe than sorry," agreed Jodie walking up as well.

"Let's get going. We have nine more to go."

"What's the next plan?"

"I thought you'd have one," he said.

"And I had thought you were the mastermind behind the Marauders," she said, trying to crack a joke to lighten the atmosphere. It was no use. The noise above hung heavily over them. "Ok, so here's how we can do it."

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"Confringo!" Lily shouted, blasting the ground before the two advancing Death Eaters. They had found she was alone, and had decided that she would be an easier target than a crowd of other kids. Two against one—Death Eaters never played fair.

She looked down at Beth quickly, only to see the back of two men now. But she didn't have time to contemplate that as a curse narrowly flew by her.

They threw hex after hex at her, closing the distance between them slowly.

"You can't dodge them forever," cried the man, "Crucio—crucio!"

The last curse brushed against Lily's hair. It was too close for comfort. She felt the power radiate past her.

She ignored it, and dodged yet another one, the pain in her muscles screaming their reluctance. She ignored that too, waiting for the perfect moment while dodging.

"Impedimenta!" she screamed, as one man paused to catch his breath. The man went flying backwards, slamming harshly against the stairs as he rolled down it, his body binded by the spell Lily cast. He slumped, unconscious, in a pile at the bottom. The floor under the weight squeaked in protest.

A sixth year quickly disarmed the man, throwing the wand triumphantly over the edge into the depth below. Cheering nearby ensued, and Lily felt momentarily brightened.

Lily tried to turn her head back to the other man, but found her body fully immobilized. In her distraction, she had mistakenly forgotten about the other Death Eater. Now, he had cast a freezing charm over her.

She blinked and attempted to move her hand. It was futile.

The Death Eater smiled, allowing his crooked yellow teeth to show through. Some were missing.

He began walking towards Lily, laughing.

"That was good," he admitted, "but this—this—will be better."

And then, in all of a sudden, he lurched forward. Not in attack though…in pain. He collapsed in a heap at her feet, the charm wearing off as the caster lost power. Lily instinctively took his wand and snapped it in half, whether he was capable of using it or not. Then, she peered over the man's wound. It was a visible wound. A deep gash, seemingly caused by a sword.

She had never seen this spell cast before. She had never even heard of the spell.

She looked around, searching the district for the person who had saved her. Nobody seemed to stand out, and just as she was about to give up, she caught a flash of familiar black greasy hair disappearing into the crowd.

"Snape?" she wondered allowed.

"It couldn't be."

But then again, Hogwarts had been the safest place she had ever known. It had been thought that an attack here would be impossible.

Impossible was nothing.

She regarded the scene in front of her. _Yes, impossible is truly nothing. _Panic had decreased now, and the older students all around had begun to restore order. Slytherins banded with Ravenclaws. Ravenclaws banded with Gryffindors. Gryffindors banded with Hufflepuffs and so on.

She watched as another Death Eater fell victim to a gang of students.

Another down, many more to go.

_James, _she begged, _please be okay._ He was still no where to be seen.

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**WOW. That was long. If I was evil, I would have split that chapter into two. But no:) since it's already a cliffy.**

**I hoped you guys liked it. I'm not very good at writing the whole…attack and fear and panic type of scenes, so if you have any suggestions, please let me know. **

**Oh, and I know that James may not be thousands of feet of the ground, I'm not really sure how high they fly, so please excuse that.**


	38. Everything's Going to be Alright

**When I read it over, I **_**do **_**understand how it could seem a little sudden, but I'm not sure how to fix it. How does a death eater attack thing be…not sudden. I'll try to maybe edit the chapters and see if there anything I can do to change that, but thanks for that review.**

**Also, about being able to fly into Hogwarts, I forgot about that. My bad. I might make a mention on that later, perhaps saying that Dumbledore casts those enchantments on the school as a result of this attack. Would that work?**

**Does anybody notice how many commas I use:( I think I comma splice like…every sentence.**

**Ok so as usual, I don't own Harry Potter or anything related to it.**

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**REVIEW PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE...pretty please with cherries on top?:)**

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"Just like Regulus said," he cackled behind her. "Just like Regulus said."

Sirius' grip tightened around his wand, held menacingly by his side. His eyes flashed dangerously, anger bubbling within him.

Beth never took her eyes off him, pleading him to just look at her once. Instead, he remained focused on the men behind her, as though she wasn't even there.

"He said there would be no doubt you would come and save your little princess. Didn't believe it at first, you know." He snarled, letting his gaze fall downwards. He picked up a few strands of Beth's long loose hair and let it run between his fingers.

"Don't touch her," growled Sirius, lifting his hand up. He had forgotten the most important rule when dealing with Voldemort and his men—never let your emotions show.

The man laughed nastily. "Sirius Black, loving a girl. Didn't think it was possible."

Sirius glared at the despicable man in front of him with penetrating eyes, taking in the situation. "Yes," he admitted slowly, still not looking at Beth. "I love her. I told him and now I'm telling you."

Beth's eyes widened in disbelief and she gasped quietly. _He loved her. _Her eyes welled up with unshed tears as she gazed at the mesmerizing man in front of her.

She bit her lip, holding back a sob, and resisted the urge to throw her hands around him. She couldn't if she tried, as the man, presumably by the name of Grimes, had his wand at her throat. But nothing mattered anymore. Because he loved her.

She studied his expression. His face was determined, his jaw set hard, and yet, there was a touch of softness in his eyes when he uttered those very three words.

She let a tear drop from her eyes.

_Yes, _she thought happily, temporarily forgetting the moment, _nothing matter anymore. Nothing but him. _

She knew the extreme peril he was in—two against one. And no matter how good of a fighter and a dueler she knew him to be, it would be a tough match to even face one of these men.

Apparently, they had known each other. Beth felt certain that the Death Eaters knew their advantage—not to mention they had her as a hostage.

She desperately wanted to yell at him for coming to save her. She yearned to tell him to leave now and save himself while he still had the chance.

A tear rolled down her cheek, and a small sob escaped her slightly parted lips. That caused Sirius to quickly glance at Beth.

She almost fell apart at the tenderness in his dark brown eyes. She almost broke down at the worrisome expression on his face at the instant that he looked over. But his eyes quickly turned back to emitting the cold stare, and his face immediately lost all signs of benevolence.

Beth felt selfish as she watched Sirius take a step forwards toward her, the planks squeaking eerily beneath his feet. She wanted him to leave her, she wanted him to be safe, yet at the same time, she felt intoxicated with happiness that he was there for her—that he chose to save her.

Her heart banged against the outermost cages of her ribs, beating painfully in her chest. She let another tear drop. Her breathing was audible. Her short ragged breaths clear to be heard. Her body ached with fear, for they boy in front of her more than herself. Everything inside of her hurt, even though she knew that Grimes was no longer casting a spell on her.

"What do you think you're going to do boy?" barked the other man, Ypes. "You really think we won't 'urt 'er?"

Sirius stumbled discreetly and arrested to a stop. If the men had Beth, there was nothing he could do. He couldn't risk hurting her.

He knew these men since he was born. One of his parents' many 'friends'. These two, particularly Grimes, were one of the more sickening ones. Sirius knew that if he made any wrong move, the first thing they would do would be to kill the girl in their hands. It wouldn't take more than a second, and her life would be lost. She would be gone from him forever.

Damned if he'd let that happen.

Sirius knew he had one thing to his advantage. His years as a Black had taught him one thing, and one thing only. It had taught him to be conniving, using his enemy's weaknesses as his targets.

"Oh, I don't doubt that for a moment," he muttered, loud and clear enough for the men to hear. They laughed in return. "I also don't doubt that you're fellow Death Eaters would have a nice laugh at you two when they learned you needed a hostage to defeat me."

They gnarled their teeth, their jaws cracking loudly. "What do you mean?" they thundered. "We don't need a hostage to deal with the disinherited Black!"

Sirius laughed hallowly. "Who would believe it?"

And before Sirius could even blink an eye, Grimes had already thrown Beth venomously on the ground, kicking her brutally out of his path.

Sirius fell down beside her, begging her to be alive. She moved her hand, and Sirius immediately took it in his.

"Beth," he whispered. "Please, Beth." He took her into his arms and set her down against the wall.

Her eyelids fluttered open. "Sirius?"

He nodded, breathing out a sigh of relief. He kissed her briefly on the forehead—for good measure in case he didn't make it.

"Sirius?" she repeated, this time more urgently as she became aware of her surroundings once again.

He ignored the gentleness of her voice and turned away, back to the men.

They were snarling at him, with disgusted looks written on their faces.

"Repulsve," they grunted.

"Yes, I'd have to say you are…," said Sirius.

Sirius had attacked their pride, and it had worked out easily to his advantage. Now though, there could be no manipulating anymore. It was skill against skill. And perhaps, a battle to see whose side lady luck was on.

He raised his wand as a sign that he was ready for a duel. No bowing was necessary. If you bowed to a Death Eater, they would likely finish you off as you came up from the bow.

The other two men raised their wands as well.

With one little flick of Ypes' wand, Sirius was sent flying back, landing harshly on the hard wooden floor. He scrambled up quickly.

"Stupe—"

"It won't work Black," barked Grimes, slashing his wand easily through the air. "These foolish schools teach you nothing that could truly fulfill your potential."

"Imped—"

"What did I say?!" he roared. "It won't work!"

Sirius fell to his knees, feeling excruciating pain throughout his body. He put his one hand onto the ground to brace himself, but never gave his opponent the satisfaction of making his head fall.

No, Sirius stared at the men in front of him, his face full of rage.

He struggled up, staggering as he went.

"STUPEFY!" he yelled, aiming at the man Grimes. But as he said it, he stumbled back, instead, hitting a nearby student.

"Foolish boy!"

Beth sat on the ground, horrified as the scene in front of her played out.

They had sent a spell at Sirius, and she could see the pain in his every movements. She could see the beads of sweat at the side of his head, dripping down slowly, each a telltale sign of the fighting he was doing within his very body.

She looked around frantically. The men didn't seem to notice she was awake.

She searched for someone to help Sirius, but everyone seemed to scared to do anything.

Finally, she spotted her wand which had been so carelessly thrown away.

Beth knew what she had to do.

Sirius lifted his hand to his brow, wiping away the beads of sweat.

"Crucio!" he yelled, with all his might. There wasn't a problem about the will behind his curse. He meant those words with every particle in his body. "Impedimenta!" he yelled again.

This time, it hit Ypes squarely on the chest, sending his body flying into the ocean of people.

"Crucio!" thundered Grimes, effectively hitting Sirius dead on. Sirius collapsed to the ground, writhing and screaming in pain.

"You thought you could beat me? Who are you?!" the man screamed, laughing as Sirius roared a wretched howl.

Beth's hand was now centimeters away from her wand, but as she heard the tortured yell from Sirius, her hand fumbled and knocked the wand further.

She closed her eyes, desperately trying to block out the screams, but it was no use.

It was murder to her heart.

But she knew that if she didn't get to her wand, this would be the end.

She reached out, stretching her fingers as far as they could go. She felt the familiar feeling rush into her fingers and throughout her body as her skin came in contact with her wand. She urged herself on.

In his blind delight of watching Sirius in pain, Grimes never had the chance to foresee the events that were about to occur.

Briefly, it crossed Beth's mind to kill the man off right there and then. God knew she could do it, watching Sirius in pain at this moment. But no, she wouldn't become one of them.

"Petrificus totallus."

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James looked back, glad to see that Marissa was no where in sight. He then turned around and gulped.

"Well, well, if it isn't the Potter's boy," spat the first one, obviously the stronger and the leader of the two.

He looked back to his friend. "This should be fun."

James stayed quiet.

"I wonder how you're parents will deal with the funeral for their only son. We know them, you know?"

James again, refused to speak.

"Folks that can't mind their own businesses. They'll get themselves killed one day," commented the other lightly, purposely building on James' anger.

James bit his tongue.

"Very well then, if you won't talk…"

"Imper—"

James ducked hastily.

"Stupefy!"

The Death Eater easily dodged the attack.

"Stupe—" he tried again, but had to stop as one of them sped by him on the broom, pushing James as they brushed. He struggled to ensure he stayed in control of his broom.

"That wasn't—"

"What?" said the Death Eater from behind him bluntly, "It was against the _rules?" _

"Ye—" James abruptly stopped. _If they didn't play by rules, then.._

James urged his broom upwards, flying above them. He turned halfway on his broom and pointed his wand at the man nearest him. "Frurnunculus!" he yelled, remembering the spell he pulled on Snape.

The man screamed in agony as boils popped out over every inch of his skin.

He flew up into the sky, chasing James, but James was faster. In the idle moments, he had rested.

James suddenly felt his course become wobbly. He looked down and found that his broom was swaying from side to side. He leaned left, but the broom swiveled right.

_That was not good, _he thought, peering down at the ground below. He turned around.

"Confringo!"

He missed, and the spell flew downwards to the ground. He saw a tree being engulfed in flames moments later where his spell had hit.

But a second later, his broom flipped upside down.

His feet slipped off the handle, but he held on with his hands. The man was laughing now, no longer enchanting his broom. He was also distracted.

James let go of his right hand—the hand with his wand. He steadied it.

"Stupefy!"

He watched as the man slumped over onto his broom, then as the broom began its decent to the ground. He didn't want to see the results.

And besides, he had other things to focus on—mainly the other Death Eater that was headed his way.

The man growled, his face contorted with pure anger. His face was red, eyes glaring daggers into every part of James' body.

He struggled to swing himself up onto the broom, but it was impossible if he wanted to keep his wand.

He looked down at the bottomless fall.

The man, seeing his victims helpless situation, slowly came closer.

"Expelliarmus!" yelled the Death Eater, sending James' wand flying into the air. Now, he edged even closer, circling the dangling boy tauntingly.

James felt his fingers glaze with sweat, and felt his hand slip slowly off the handle. He swung his now empty hand onto the broom, just in time as his left hand slipped away.

He swung left and right, but every time he got one hand on the broom, the other slipped off.

The man was now even closer, laughing madly in James' ear. James turned his head right, but the man was there. He whipped his head around the other way, but the man was there too.

He closed his eyes and shook his head violently, but the cackling never ceased.

Then, miraculously, the laughing stopped.

He opened his eyes, and nearly let go of his broom as the man's face was inches from his own.

"Scared?" he whispered in a low, menacing voice.

James watched as the man's lips formed silent words. And just as James wondered what was happnening, his broom began spinning uncontrollably. Like a horse trying to kick off its owner, the broom was doing similarly.

James screamed.

He felt his fingers lose it's hold. The outrageous swinging continued.

James closed his eyes, bravely preparing for the fall to come.

There were so many things he had yet to do. He was just a kid, for heaven's sake.

He hadn't said goodbye to so many people. His parents. His friends. _Lily. _

Lily. Lily had only just accepted him. She would never forgive him if he died.

And as these thoughts ran by his mind, he barely noticed that the broom had stilled.

He cracked open one eye, and watched in amazement as the man sat frozen, wide-eyed in fear. James looked to the direction the man was looking at, and saw a streak of black fly by.

The thing knocked straight into the Death Eater and sent him spiraling to the ground.

Then, the thing, or rather, the person, handed him a long brown stick—his wand.

"It flew right into my forehead!"

James cracked a smile and swung himself back onto the seat.

"Thanks Marissa."

She nodded, and together, they dived down to help the others.

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"James! Oh thank god! James!" screamed a hysterical Lily as she threw herself into his arms.

He staggered back and caught her legs as she wrapped them around his hip.

She breathed in the smell of him, the musty, sweaty smell. It was her James.

"Lily," he replied, hugging her closer to him. "Not trying to ruin the moment where you're throwing yourself at me…literally…but…" James said, unsure of himself.

"Not the time to crack jokes!" she practically screamed, digging her head into his shoulder. "I thought I had lost you," she murmured, quieter this time. "I really thought I did."

"Oh Lils, I thought I had lost me too."

She whacked him on the arms.

"Watch it! These are sore!"

She looked at him with her big green eyes.

"What's wrong Lily?" he asked. Suddenly, he remembered that there were more Death Eaters down there, than there were up in the sky. "Lily, are you okay? They didn't hurt you or anything…"

"James…"

"Oh god, they did didn't they! You're under the imperius spell aren't you! I knew you wouldn't throw yourself…"

"James…"

"I'm going to—"

"James," she said seriously. He waited. "I love you."

"Okay, now I'm sure you're under…" He stopped seeing the frown on her face. "Yo-you're serious?" he stuttered.

She nodded solemnly, her happiness quickly deflating. "It's okay if you don't, I mean…I just wanted to tell you," she said immediately, gesturing at the scene around her. "You know, when I thought I would never see you again, it just sort of dawned on me an—"

She was cut off by a set of firm lips pressed against her own.

"I love you too."

Lily smiled. She didn't care if there were little kids 'ewwing' under the bench, watching her. She didn't care that he was sweaty and tired and her hair was a mess and her make up running around her eyes from tears.

It was her and—

"Lily help!" screamed a voice from below. She snapped out of her trance and looked down.

"Beth!" she yelled. She grabbed James' hand. "Sirius is hurt!"

She flew down the stairs, James in tow.

The crowd parted for her to get through. "What happened?" she asked, arriving at the scene.

"Death Eaters—Sirius—me—Death Eaters…" gasped Beth, her whole body shaking as she held Sirius' head in her lap. "Sirius!" she cried finally.

Lily and James could barely make out anything, but figured it out nonetheless.

James kneeled down. "Passed out," he affirmed, "but nothing he hasn't been through before. He'll be okay."

"Are you—" she sniffed, "are you…sure?"

"Positive," said James, looking at his friend. "He must've put up a fight."

Beth nodded and Lily looked around.

"We have to get the people out of here," she said. James bobbed his head in agreement. Even in the few minutes that he had planted his feet on the ground, he had found that it was simply chaotic.

"There are some entrances that people are exiting from," said James, suddenly remembering a small stream of kids exiting the area.

Lily glanced around. It was hard to tell the difference between people moving around, and people leaving. "Remus!" she said suddenly, pointing to somebody. "They're freeing up the exits."

James looked down at Beth, who understood immediately. "I'm staying with Sirius," she said firmly, "but you guys go."

They needed no more urging.

"I'll fly up and see how many entrances are free," he said, "stay put!"

He held out his hand. "Accio broom." Then he mounted and headed off.

Lily caught sight of a Hufflepuff prefect nearby, and ran to catch up with her.

"Gabi," she panted, "I need you to lead everyone here out that exit over there." She pointed to where a flow of people were heading out. "Hurry!"

The girl immediately took off, and Lily surveyed the seen.

No longer were all the exits closed, which meant that students could return to the safety of the school.

She looked over at the teachers area. The Death Eaters' numbers were falling quickly, and Lily was sure that soon enough, they would retreat.

Lily suddenly remembered the kids she had left up above. But she didn't want to leave without letting James know. She waved up at the boy and pointed upwards.

After receiving a nod, she ran up the stairs.

"Guys, follow the people and go immediately back to your dorms."

"Where?" asked a first year, biting on her nails nervously.

"I know where!" shouted a third year, taking the girls hand in his. "I'll lead them!"

Lily flashed a quick smile and crouched down to his level. "See over there?"

She waited for him to nod affirmative.

"Go there, and then you'll know the way back."

He hurried off. "One by one now! Follow quickly!"

She felt the ground shake a little under her feat.

"How is it?" she asked quickly, without even having to see it was James.

"All the Death Eaters are accounted for. Any of them that are still moving, which aren't a lot, are trying to escape."

"And.." she paused, a thought popping into her mind. "Where _is_ Peter?"

James frowned, his eyebrows creasing.

"I haven't seen him anywhere," she said slowly. "Did you see him up—"

James shook his head.

Lily frowned.

"And everything's going to be okay," he said comfortingly, hugging Lily in close.

"No it's not," she insisted. She sniffled and rubbed her eyes. "If this can happen at Hogwarts James, who knows what we'll be facing out there?"

James sighed.

"It's war out there."

James didn't respond for a while, and Lily thought he wasn't planning to.

Then, James said something that his parents had always repeated to him.

"We can't let it stop us from living our lives. Or else then, they would win."


	39. Give Me a Reason to Live

**The thing that's really different about the first and second war, is that people knew what they were up against in the second one. Where as in the first, nobody really knew what was happening until it well…happened. I just wanted to say that.**

**I really do appreciate all the reviews coming in, especially for my first fanfic.**

**I hope you read my other one, Tattoo! That is, if you are interested in a HSM one.**

**If not, that's alright:)**

**I'm afraid this chapter may have been too cheesy?: I tried not to at the beginning, but it just...i don't even know how to make it NOT cheesy. very sad.**

**Anywayssss, review review reviewww as usual. **

**Oh, and...so theres probably going to be one more update this sunday, before i face the wrath of my exams head on. The update after that will have to be in another week. **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine. **

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Lily pushed her food around her plate with her fork with one hand, and let her other hand prop her head upright.

She drew circles in the sauce, and aligned the vegetables into an arch around her meat. Then, she angrily mixed them all back to their original positions.

Lily sighed, sliding the plate away from her.

"Come on," James urged gently, picking up Lily's fork and handing it to her. "Eat a little."

Lily shook her head. "I'm not hungry." And as if to prove her point, the desserts appeared, showcasing Lily's favourites—cookies and pies of all sorts. She never gave them a second glance.

"Lily," James began, his annoyance showing in his voice.

"No James, I just don't want to eat," she said resolutely. She looked around. How could he have an appetite at a time like this.

True, it had been a few days since the attack on Hogwarts, but there were still countless empty spots at the four tables. A sign that many were still hurt and recuperating in the hospital wing. Thankfully, no lives were lost.

Lily still remembered the moment she walked into the despairing room, full of groaning students in pain. James and Remus had tried to prevent Lily, Jodie and Beth from entering, but they had insisted. Sirius had been one of the many hurt, and they wouldn't be stopped from seeing him.

She shuddered at the thought, and wrapped her arm around James loosely.

Sure, she had heard of the dreadful attacks happening around the wizarding world. She had read about the increasing numbers of attacks, the ripening confidence of the Death Eaters, and the intensifying forms of dark magic. But now, Lily truly understood that what you read and what you hear, isn't the same as what you see.

You never read about the constant ringing in your ears, you never know about the indescribable fear in your hearts; fear that you'll lose someone, fear that you'll lose yourself. You never hear about the panic such attacks cause, the true extent of seeing others being tortured or hurt before your very eyes.

Lily saw that the other day. In fact, all of them did. And it served as a vivid reminder that the world as they knew it was going to change. The Hogwarts that they had come to call has their haven, their home, was no longer as safe as it once was, because the world was becoming more and more dangerous.

This attack hit too close to home.

Lily looked at her own table, counting the missing spots. There were eleven. Eleven people that she did not know. Eleven people that could have very well lost their lives.

She glanced at the other tables. Ravenclaw—thirteen. Hufflepuff—seven. Slytherin—eight. And these were just the ones that were injured badly during the battle.

She looked up at the teachers table. All were present, and at that, she breathed a sigh of relief.

Speaking to Dumbledore at that moment was a ministry official, although she couldn't place a name on him. There were just too many roaming about the school since that day.

Now, there were only three still left in the school—a great contrast to the twenty that arrived just after the Death Eaters left. They had lessened the numbers since they believed everything was now alright.

_Alright? _Lily thought, _nothing's alright._

That was just it though. In appearance, everything truly was alright. New enchantments had been placed to protect the school and the students, stronger and more difficult to penetrate than ever. Nobody doubted that these charms would fail—they had been placed by Dumbledore himself.

And there were no major, life threatening injuries. Aurors had been sent to investigate the people behind the attack. To the Ministy of Magic, everything was perfect. Peachy. Resolved. _Alright. _But to Lily—James—Beth—Sirius—and the rest of the student body, everything was _not _alright.

There was no longer happy chatter amongst the students during meals. There were no longer smiles and laughs. Instead, replacing this all, was pure unexhausted tension. A mouse running through the hall could make all the students jump in fear. A laugh could make them all cringe. Talking was only barely appropriate, more so, whispering.

Breakfast, lunch, dinner was now only a time to fill our stomachs. The halls were only to transport us from one lesson to another. Classes were only there to educate us. There was little socialization. Gossip was a thing of the past. Hobbies were a thing of the past as well. Now, it was merely a matter of the mandatory things.

But that wasn't the biggest change. The biggest change was that Quidditch, the beloved sport of wizards, had seemingly been snatched from them. It seemed as if the Death Eaters had taken away their game—their hope. No one dared return to the pitch.

On appearance, yes, everything was fine. But beneath it all, the battle was not over.

Lily suddenly felt a surge of anger. _Who were the Death Eaters to place this type of spell over us all? Who did they think they were? _she raged.

And in her rush of anger, Lily pushed out of her seat and climbed onto her table. The students' attentions stirred towards the red headed girl leaping onto the dinner table, preparing to make a speech.

"I can't take this anymore," she declared immediately, flicking her wand to clear the contents off the tabletop area near her. "I just can't!"

She looked up, finding the whole hall looking at her curiously. But still, nobody dared to whisper to their friends. Not like they used to.

"Why aren't you whispering about me?!" she muttered unhappily. "Why aren't you laughing at this crazy girl, me, whose jumping on the tables and yelling at you all?"

They continued staring. Beth cleared her throat softly, causing Lily to look at her. Beth smiled supportingly, then pointed to her throat with her wand. Lily caught the drift, enhancing her voice to amplify.

As she did this, she caught the wide-eyed look off the many students—boys, girls, young, old, and even the teachers. She suddenly felt uncomfortable. She felt like she could melt under their curious stares, turning into jello and sliding right back into her seat.

But just the thought of withstanding another day of this silence convinced her to continue.

"Umm," she began. "I just wanted to say something to the all of you."

She bit her lip and looked down, her heart lifting as she saw her friends nod at her encouragingly. Even Sirius, who had just been released the day before, was smiling happily.

Her confidence restored a little. "A few days ago, a heartbreaking event happened in our school. An incident that has surely changed you as much as it has changed me. Something that was so terrible that sometimes I feel as if it is a dream." She paused, thinking to herself, "we, the students of Hogwarts and the school itself, were attacked."

She began to sway from side to side, shifting her weight from one leg to another. She closed her eyes. "We've all read about attacks, we've all heard them, we've all felt them affect our ways in some form, but never, _never, _have we seen it with our own eyes. Never have we touched it with our own fingers. Never has it come to haunt us in front of our very own faces. I hope—no, I am sure—you feel similarly."

"I don't know whether to say this or not, but this will most likely not be our last time to encounter such," Lily said, stopping as she began to hear a reaction—gasps—from the crowd.

"But now we know," she reassured quickly. "Now we know what we must face. We no longer face the unknown. We are _prepared, _she said, her confidence continuously rising.

"Maybe we should think of this as a blessing instead of a curse. Nobody was killed. Nobody seriously hurt," she said, realizing this for the first time along with the rest of the people. "These Death Eaters—men and women who bring evil into our lives—aim to destroy us. But yet, they have done nothing but destroyed themselves, have they not? They are no longer human—but torturing, _killing _machines."

Suddenly, a chill seemed to set of the room, and many students began to look away. Why? Fear? Who knows.

"But we," Lily smiled, gesturing around the room, "we're still human. We can laugh. We can cry. We can love. And we can also hate."

The students looked up again, but many disbelievingly.

"We _can," _Lily insisted. "We truly can."

Lily was frantically trying to think of something to prove it to them when Beth leaped onto the table beside her.

"I believe her," she said, smiling down at Sirius. "The battle was just one of many. This is war, or it will be soon. We all know it."

Some nodded solemnly.

"But we have an advantage," said Jodie, her calm voice projecting throughout the room. She climbed on her chair and onto the table as she spoke, taking the other side of Lily. "We have something to fight for."

Beth smiled, thinking of Sirius. He had fought for her. She had yet to talk to him about it since then though, but she planned on changing that soon.

Lily and Jodie smiled, thinking of James and Remus respectively.

And soon, a few students began to smile. And a few more. And a few more.

"We should be ashamed of ourselves," said Lily, her eyes cast downwards. "For the past few days, we let these despicable people take away what we held dear to us. Our smiles," she said, nodding appreciatively at the encouraging smiles.

Beth continued, "Our friends." She linked hands with Lily, who in turn took Jodie's hand into her own.

"Our passionate and drama-filled teenage lives," joked Jodie.

"Quidditch!" yelled James and Sirius, giving each other a high five after they said it in synchrony.

"Books," shouted a Ravenclaw, standing up as he did.

"Jokes," said another timidly.

"Chess!"

"Games!"

"Pranks!" yelled James, raising his first in the air.

On and on the list went, with people speaking out for the first time in days. It was like releasing a heavy burden. And with each word said, a miracle began to occur.

For the first time in days, there was talk, there were smiles, there were laughs, and most importantly, tears.

"Love." Lily said simply, as the list slowed down. "Love."

"These are all things that makes us different," she continued, smiling and crying at the sight before her, with hundreds of students on their feet before her. "They're the reason we fight. Those people can take our lives from us, yes," she said quietly, the severity of the notion implied carefully, "but that's really all we should let them take away."

She threw her head back and laughed.

"As a wise person once told me, We can't let it stop us from living our lives. Or else then, they would win."

The hall erupted in applause. And the three girls jumped off the table.

_Now, _thought Lily, _everything's going to be alright. _She truly believed it this time.

The fact that Beth was pulling Sirius towards the back wall of the cheering hall was only a small sign that confirmed Lily's thoughts. The bigger one was well…the cheering hall.

She was probably smiling so much to make up for all the days she _hadn't _been able to smile. She hugged James from behind and smiled.

Who said it was a bad thing?

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"What's wrong Beth?" Sirius asked, a crease appearing on his forehead. He wasn't sure why Beth had taken him to the side of the room.

"Are we ever going to talk about it Sirius?" she asked, frowning ever so slightly. Sirius felt the urge to kiss those pouting lips until the frown disappeared. "About what happened at the game?"

Sirius laughed nervously. In the back of his mind somewhere, Sirius knew he would have to talk to her about that sometime. He had just tried to make that sometime happen later.

He was scared. He liked how things were going. They were on safe ground.

But he knew the moment he said those words, 'I love her', that they had stepped right into a hole in that ground. The hole had always been there.

"About my awesome beater skills? Or about the attack?"

Beth shook her head, biting the inside of her cheek as she thought. He didn't seem to be wanting to talk about it—but Beth didn't want to wait anymore. She had been scared before. Scared that he would back out again if she let him into her heart. Scared that she had just been 'one of those girls' to him. Scared that he would hurt her again.

But now she knew better. He had proven that to her. She couldn't lose him.

"Neither," she said slowly, "I actually wanted to talk about you saving me."

He nodded. "Oh, that."

"Yeah." She felt her palms sweat. She began playing with her hands, looking down.

Sirius watched the girl in front of him—the one that had done the impossible, and captured his heart.

There was no way out of the hole than up.

He took his hands out of his pocket and used them to cover hers, stopping her from pulling her fingers apart.

Her heart jumped at the contact. His contracted, squeezing so hard he thought it would break. She looked up at him with bright purple eyes, silently begging him to continue.

He looked down at their hands, and for a long moment, didn't say a thing.

"I've never been good at love," he said quietly.

Beth took her hands out and covered his with her own. "Nobody is."

He continued, without looking up. "Do you think we could…I mean if you don't want to…"

"Do you?" she asked.

"…I-I…of course I do…but…"

"It's all I ask."

Once she said those words, he lifted her by the waist in one swift motion and spun her around. She yelped in surprise. "Sirius! Put me down!"

He laughed, and Beth couldn't help but admit that she could die happy in this moment. "Never!"

"Sirius, people are looking!"

"Who cares?" he asked, but he stopped nonetheless and placed her feet back firmly on the ground. "What're you smiling like that for?"

Then, she jumped into his arms and wrapped her legs above his waist. His quick reflexes allowed him to catch her, holding her by the waist. "Now who's causing the commotion?" he teased.

"You were right," she said, seductively trailing her finger over his bottom lip. He quirked his lips. "You're so hot," she whispered, before leaning down and possessively taking his lips with her own.

Besides…_who really did care? _


	40. Love in the air

**I think I'm not going to write another chapter until after my exams, because I've really been rushing them a bit and I think people can probably tell that.**

**So here's the last one in a while. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP**

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Soon enough after their speech, life in Hogwarts began to resume its usual pace. Almost everybody was out of the hospital wing now—only two people remained, and so, a huge weight was lifted of everyone's shoulders.

The school began to pick up its normal hustle and bustle, the throng of constant chatter, the complaints about the unrelenting teachers and the dread of O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s coming up.

Students who had been at the pitch excitedly told the thrilling story to their friends, beginning from the close match and the struggle for the snitch to the Death Eaters departing rapidly once they realized their numbers had begun to fall.

And nothinghelped speed all of that along better than a little love in the air.

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There were many types of people in the world. There were the early sleepers. There were the early risers. There were the late sleepers. There were the late risers. There were the late sleepers and early risers. There were the early sleepers and early risers. There were the early sleepers and late risers. And then, there were the late sleepers and late risers.

Beth shook her head, the combination of _late's _and _early's, sleepers _and _risers, _giving her a headache.

Not that it made much of a difference since she already had one anyways. You see, Beth was the type of person that fell into the late sleepers and late risers category. But now, as she looked at the clock, she recognized that it was definitely not past ten yet, which to her, was considered early on a Saturday morning.

So the question became, why was she up so early?

She kicked her blanket so that it fell over her cold toes. Then she closed her eyes in an attempt to sleep.

Minutes later, she found herself staring up at the ceiling, every nerve in her body protesting.The early sun shone through her windows and hit her eye.

Beth groaned, grabbing an extra pillow from her side and covering her face. She rolled over to her side, back and forth in frustration. Unexpectedly, she felt herself plummet to the ground with a _thump!_

Using her pillow to muffle her voice, she screamed, not caring if she woke anyone else up. Then she threw the abused pillow onto the ground and kicked off her blanket, tangled at her feet. Reluctantly, she raised her arm and searched blindly for her alarm clock on the bedside table. Her fingers fumbled around objects, knocking things off the desk. Finally, she picked up her clock and pulled it in front of her face to read.

_February 14__th_

Shit.

She looked around the room, and sure enough, it was completely empty—if you didn't count the carelessly strewn pieces of clothing all over. Beth almost wanted to yell in frustration once again, but figured that would be useless._ Now_ she remembered why her alarm had woken her up at such a god forbidden hour.

It would probably be another two hours before she could get ready. All the girls would take centuries in the shared washrooms.

It _was _valentine's day after all.

Great. The perfect start to the day.

She sighed miserably before wrapping her bathrobe rightly around her body, holding it in a knot at her waist. Then she crawled to her trunk to rummage through for some clothes to wear.

As much as she didn't want to admit it, she wanted to look good today. She felt hypocritical, laughing at all those girls in the past as they primped for dates on this special day.

Beth laughed out loud. "Special day," she muttered. Ironically, she couldn't remember ever thinking that _Valentine's Day _could be anything but tedious.

She had always hated it. She had hated the fact that everybody but her would have somebody. She hated the fact that _he, _Sirius, had somebody. She just hated it.

Her motto had been: _stay in her room, and sleep until it past. _

But this year, it was different, and Beth's heart soared at the thought. This year, _she _would be Sirius' somebody. This year she would have somebody. This year, somebody else would drown in their self pity—but not her.

Beth picked out a pair of straight fitted grey jeans. Although the temperature was steadily heading upwards, winter wasn't ready to leave just yet.

She struggled to put them on, cursing the fact that she had indulged herself so much in the past few weeks. That was probably the only visible trace of her heartbreak that seemed so far from her mind as of this moment.

When she had confessed to Lily that she had gained three pounds, the girl's only response was a very bitter and sarcastic, "So cry me a river." Beth never spoke of it again. Lily had gained more during the James and Lynne time period she later found out.

After finally winning the fight against her jeans, she slipped on her favourite white sweater. She looked in the mirror, marveling at the warmth the piece of clothing provided. And yet, _it was too casual, _she decided.

She pulled the sweater off and threw it on her bed. There was a reason the room was in such a disheveled condition. She kneeled down beside her trunk and took out a black fitted t-shirt. She held it up.

_Nope, _she thought, throwing that too onto the bed while picking out another shirt.

Soon enough, a smile pile began to build.

Finally, when it seemed as though she had emptied her whole trunk onto her bed, she smiled at the sight before her. She had chosen a lacy deep purple spaghetti strap shirt under a white three quarter sleeve wrap around shirt. Simple and flirty.

She walked out of her room and to the washroom, finding herself fifth in the line-up. It wasn't as bad as she thought. She supposed she could go to Lily's washroom, but Beth didn't want to face the crowd of people downstairs with her not yet brushed teeth, messy hair, and tired, unwashed face.

It was better to wait it out.

As she did so, she looked around and was happy to see everyone smiling. Valentine's day seemed to be the perfect reprieve after the incident.

And even though time had passed, nobody had forgotten. And to prove that fact, Beth felt her wand in her back pocket. She never went anywhere without it anymore. It was little things like that that had changed since about a week ago. Everybody tried to ignore them, but they all knew it was there.

"Beth," nudged the person from behind her. Beth wiped the thoughtful expression of her face and entered the room, closing the door behind her.

She turned on the hair curler. Then set off to brush her teeth quickly while the iron heated. She washed her face, finishing just as a soft beep rang out. Beth took the new towel that had magically appeared on the counter and dried herself off.

She skillfully curled her hair, preferring to do it the muggle way rather than the magic way. She combed her fingers through her hair and nodded, touching up any stray curls with a little concealing spell.

She returned to her own room to find Lily sitting on her bed with Jodie and Alice, her roommates, nearby—all ready to go. It seemed she had been the only one who had slept in. "Hey you!" she called as she entered, "You guys look great."

Lily had on a jean miniskirt with black ballet flats. She wore a black V-neck shirt, with a blue ribbon beneath her chest, tying at the back, and a matching blue ribbon around her loose ponytail.

Jodie was wearing black jeans with a fitted orange sweater that showed the tiniest bit of her midriff. Alice, on the other hand, wore a simple white shirt with blue jeans, and her hair braided on either side.

Jodie stood up and fished into a box by her bed. "Here," she said to Beth, producing a striped purple headband, alternating between two shades of the colour. "It matches."

Beth caught it and put it on, pulling her hair from under the band to cover the sides. She slipped on some silver hoop earrings as well.

After applying some light make-up to enhance her eyes and some blush, she was ready.

"Breakfast anyone?" asked Jodie.

Beth bit her newly glossed lips, "Um."

"Yeah," Lily said nervously.

Alice looked away.

"Ok, I get the point," Jodie said, laughing. "At least we'll walk there together?"

In her heart, she was disappointed that everyone but her would meet up with their boyfriends for breakfast. Remus had said they would meet up afterwards, but he was always a bit vague when it came to these things. He was always uncomfortable, like there was something bothering him when it came to her.

Still, she didn't think it was anything much. He hadn't been known to have many girlfriends before, so Jodie accounted that to be the reason.

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_"Peter Pettigrew," _hissed a voice. Peter froze. He looked around the room to find it was empty.

Hesitantly, he resumed brushing his teeth. He heard the laughter of his friends through the door, their anticipation of the day evident.

_"Peter Pettigrew," _the voice hissed again. This time, Peter had no doubt it was real. He whipped around.

_"You can't see me Peter." _The voice laughed, condescendingly—mockingly.

"What do you want?" Peter hissed fearfully, careful to keep his voice low.

_"It's time."_

The spit out the foam in his mouth, the taste suddenly burning his tongue. He choked, sputtering and coughing. "Please," he begged quietly. "Get Malfoy. Don't make me do this."

_"Your duty is to _me," roared the voice in his head, _"your job is to break up the Order of the Phoenix. Do as you will but dare not fail." _Peter shuddered.

"Why them?" he whispered fervently.

_"They will be a part of it," _the voice answered simply.

"Please, no," he tried again, but the presence in his head had already left.

"Please."

Another burst of merry laughter from outside was his only response.

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"Toerag? Is that even a word James?" Lily questioned skeptically, tapping the scrabble board gently with her fingers. The board instantly sprung into action, sending the T, O, R, A and G pieces flying back to James. "Apparently not."

"Hey! She used to call me a toerag though!" whined James, pointing an accusing finger at Lily.

"You're talking to a gameboard," she laughed, then added, "you toerag."

"See!" said James, "it should be a word." Lily laughed again, and James found himself doing silly things more and more often to hear it. "Fine then," he pouted, "Gore."

Lily nodded absentmindedly, spelling the word align using James' G.

James groaned. "I'm never going to win at this game. There you go with another triple word score. How bad am I losing now? 100?"

"Actually," said Lily slowly, "172."

James gave her a dark look. "Fine, we can stop," she relented, "You can choose now."

He grinned, happy to end the game. He watched her long bangs fall over her eyes as she leaned over to pick up the game pieces. They were sitting on James' bed, and the fact that he had a pillow in his hand served as inspiration.

He waited until she looked away in search of the scrabble box, before lifting his pillow above his head. His eyes followed the pillow as it began its descent.

"James?" a voice cut in. His arms stopped mid-air, hovering a few feet above Lily's head.

"Yes?"

Lily looked up at the pillow, then at the boy's grinning face. "What're you doing?" she asked, backing up off the bed.

"Not getting ready to smack you with the pillow?" James said innocently.

Lily shrieked. "Don't you dare James Potter!" She leapt off the bed, stumbling as she did, and fell onto the ground. "Ow!"

James winced. "Lily, are you okay?"

He pushed the scrabble board out of the way and scrambled to the other side of the bed.

_Smack!_

"Liilllyy," he growled softly.

She stuck her tongue out at him cheekily, before grabbing the pillow from his hand and pelting him with it twice.

"That's it," he said, picking up another pillow.

He got up and began advancing towards her. Lily squealed, recognizing that she was about to be hit, and attempted to run away.

"I don't think so," he laughed, wrapping one strong arm around her waist, smacking the pillow onto her head with his other hand.

"James!" she whined, squirming out of his grasp. "That's not fair."

When she finally escaped, she darted for the bed, grabbing a pillow and turning around. She huffed, patting her hair down.

James thought she looked better when it was messy and disheveled, when her face was flushed with excitement, when her eyes twinkled with mirth.

Suddenly, a pillow came flying dead on into his face. Then the pillow retreated and came flying again. "Now this," declared Lily, waving her wand as she sat cross legged on the bed, "is fair."

James ducked to avoid the continuous pelting, but the pillow followed eagerly. He held up his own pillow in defense, but the other just flew to the other side. It was useless.

"Ouch," he drawled, his hands on his hips as he watched Lily laugh at him. The pillow came again and again. He didn't bother to stop it.

"Lily," he warned.

She looked at him with innocent eyes. "Yes James dearest?" She smiled sweetly.

"Stop the pillow," he continued, narrowing his eyes. Another hit to the head.

"What pillow?"

James sprang forward onto the bed, pinning Lily down. "Yes, what pillow?" he asked, as it began to hit them both from the side.

Lily relaxed her hand, dropping the wand onto the ground. The pillow ceased, falling forgotten onto the bed. She wrapped her arms around his neck.

He leaned down, and kissed her teasingly on the nose. The forehead. The cheeks.

"James." Each eyelid as they fluttered closed.

"Please." The chin.

The corner of her lips. "Not until you beg."

Each time, she felt herself quiver under his touch, her body mutinously reacting to his actions.

She rolled so that he was on the bed and she was above him. Then she arched down and took his mouth hungrily, passionately and wildly. She slowly pulled away, as if fighting her will. She ran her hands around his face, feeling the slight stubble on his chin, the smoothness of his skin, the smirk on his lips. She filled her hand with his hair.

"Whose begging?" she whispered, watching his every emotion play on his face.

"Me," he said, shaking his head in mock pity.

James placed his hands on either side of her. She kissed him again. And again. And again.

He ran his hand from her hair, down her spine, and back up—exploring and discovering. She had her legs on either side of him, her hands on his chest.

His hand began playing at the edge of her shirt, which had snaked its way upward to expose her flat stomach. He felt his hand jump out of his skin as he touched her bare skin.

She kissed him feverishly. He kissed back urgently

It was a game, a dance…an art.

He slid his hand beneath her shirt and tenderly rubbed in a circular motion on her back..

Lily stopped, her body tensing. James felt it..

"James," she cried softly. She looked into his entrancing eyes. She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I don't think I'm…" She closed her eyes.

James pulled his hand out gently, pulling her shirt down as he went. "Me neither," he smiled. He craned his neck up and kissed her.

She didn't return the favour, only staring in confusion and uncertainty.

"I'm sure Lily."

She nodded briefly, but still felt ashamed. Lily wasn't mad at him, and she told him that. She just felt bad for suggesting it in the reckless way she acted. She pushed up off him, removing her legs, and fell down beside him on the bed.

He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her in, closing his eyes. Lily felt herself relax.

And they stayed that way for the rest of the day. Nothing more, nothing less.

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"Is it too much?"

"You made me dinner." Beth stared.

He made a face. "Yes?" he said hesitantly. "Good thing, bad thing?"

"You made me dinner."

"I'm leaning towards bad thing now," he said, feeling nervous during a date for the first time ever. He felt like such a fourth year.

She quirked her lips and cocked an eyebrow. "Sirius Black. You're kidding right?"

"Um…no..."

"You are a fool," she declared, playing with the pasta on her plate. "You made me dinner! How could that not be a good thing?"

He looked at her suspiciously. "Then why aren't you eating it. What's wrong?"

"It's just…" she paused, thinking of the right word. "…surreal…I can't help but think that I might lose you," she admitted quietly.

"Are you still thinking about it?" he asked sadly. This wasn't what he planned on. He planned on a happy, romantic evening that made Beth forget all about their troubled past together.

"I can't believe you attacked them!" she exclaimed, suddenly agitated. "Why would you do that?!"

He couldn't answer.

"You were screaming Sirius, crying even," she cried, "how can I forget?"

"It's okay now though Beth," he said, reaching across the table and entwining his fingers with hers. She looked up on contact.

"I know that. I really do," she insisted, "but...what if one day?"

"Then we make everyday count," he said smiling, "starting now. So how's the food?"

She placed some into her mouth, fighting the grimace that began to form. "Perfect."

Sirius scoffed disbelievingly, noticing her expression and tasted it for himself.

He swallowed the food down with a gulp of water. "This," he said, pointing at the food, coughing vehemently, "is crap."

Beth shook her head, greedily taking another spoonful. "This is good," she insisted, gulping down the food with forced gusto while keeping her face straight.

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "I've ruined it. You dressed up, it's your first Valentine's day date, and I've ruined it. God I'm such a…"

Beth huffed, cutting him off. "You've said that a hundred times today, and I've said the same thing again and again."

"And you've been lying again and again," said Sirius, getting up from the table that the house elves had prepared for him. He took his plate into his hand, and emptied the contents into the trash rather roughly.

"You didn't ruin a thing," she continued, placing her fork gently onto the plate. "Except maybe the poor pasta."

"I told you," he sighed dejectedly. "I just wanted to make this special and look how that turned out. If you want to..."

"You did make it special," she said, gesturing at the rose and the dinner. "And if you're suggesting we _take a break _again Black, I'm going to kick your ass."

He grimaced, regret showing on his face.

She eased her harsh tone, softening her expression. "I'm not letting go that easily, so where's that confident Black that I know and love?"

"Ruined by freaking love. Charms gone I tell you, all I have is the looks."

Beth sighed, sinking into her seat. "Not egotistical at all. Tell me Sirius, have you ever cooked for any other girls?"

She looked at him pointedly, daring him to say yes.

"No," he answered scrutinizing the idea. Why would Sirius ever have needed to _cook_ for a girl?

"Exactly," she reminded, "then it's special."

He gave her a look. "But…dinner was.."

"I don't need it to be perfect Sirius," said Beth encouragingly. "You don't know _how _long I've just dreamed of simply talking to you. This. This is already perfect."

He smiled slightly. "So you're happy?"

"I'm ecstatic. I'm bouncing in my seat. I'm leaping for joy." She paused hearing Sirius burst out laughing.

Then her stomach grumbled. She blushed a bright red, and continued, "And I'm sort of hungry apparently."

He looked at her thoughtfully.

"How about a little Hogsmeade escapade?" he asked suddenly, his eyes brightening at the idea.

She hesitated. "Were not allowed to Hogsmeade anymore, remember Dumbledore said after the Quidditch…"

"Beth," he said seriously, tilting his head down to look at her, "I'm a Marauder. We don't abide by the rules."

"But it's dangerous…" she said thoughtfully.

"We'll go as a group. All seven of us."

"But…"

"Oh it'll be great! We haven't had excitement in a long time," he added.

Beth paled.

"You call that whole attack thing.._not _exciting!"

"That was a whole week ago."

Beth smacked her forehead with her hand.

"I'm going to have a heart attack if I date you," she said dramatically, rolling her eyes.

"So how about it?"

"You're serious?" But already, her resolve was weakening and Sirius knew it. He flashed her a winning smile—the epitome of sexy. It took out the last of her resolve.

"Dead as can be," he replied without missing a beat.

"But security…" She was curious to find out how they would sneak out.

"Not a problem."

"Heavens…"

"Just think about it Beth! We haven't hung out in such a long time as a group, it'll be awesome."

She burst out laughing. "Heavens…I've gone bloody insane."

Sirius took hold of her hand and pulled her through the kitchen door.

"Master Sirius!" called one of the elves.

"We're done! Thanks!" he yelled back. "Come on, we have to find James." Beth giggled and allowed herself to be pulled along.

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This had not been what she had hoped for. She didn't want to talk. She wanted to be swept off her feet. She wanted to be romanced. She wanted to be doing anything but…well, you get the point.

Instead she was talking. Not that it was a bad conversation. In fact, it really was a good one. They had no problems talking to each other, but when you're in a relationship on Valentine's day, you don't just talk.

She wanted to scream her frustration at him. But each time he said something, he would look up with his piercing blue eyes and smile that charming smile and she would melt inside.

"So…how are you?" he asked. He cocked his head to the side to regard her.

Oh, this was awkward. She smiled tightly

"Okay. And you?"

He continued walking, turning his head back to face the front. They stood a few inches apart. "Good."

She bit down on her lip to refrain from screaming in agony.

He continued talking, keeping up the pointless conversation. She kept her answers short.

"And so…" he rambled, smiling in her direction. Inexorable sadness weighed in her heart.

"Lily," she said softly.

"..the—what?" He stopped walking abruptly, and turned to face her.

"Do you still…" She trailed off, unable to bring herself to continue.

He looked perplexed. "I'm afraid I don't get what you mean."

She swallowed, and in one quick breath, huffed out, "doyoustillloveher?"

"Do I still love her?" he echoed. "What?"

She looked up, annoyed. "Do—you—still—love—her?" she spelled out.

"Lily?"

"Yes Lily!" she guffawed, "unless there's someone else…" The idea seemed believable in her mind, and suddenly, she felt anxious. If it was Lily, at least she knew that Lily didn't like him back.

"So this is what it's about?" Remus asked incredulously.

"Yes!" she replied, her face flushed with embarrassment.

"Oh Jesus." He put his hand on her chin and lifted her head up to face him. She felt her cheeks heat up under his gaze. "This is my fault."

She felt her heart break. _He didn't mean that…_She felt like she could cry. Jodie pulled back, preparing to escape. Jodie knew that Remus cared about her. Remus had showed that at the pitch last time. She also knew that he rarely displayed it. They had kissed but once, and even that time, she was the one that had done the kissing. She had hoped that maybe it was because he wasn't ready—not because he loved someone else.

"No," he pressed. His other hand found hers.

"No," he said in a low tone. "I don't love her. Believe me."

She nodded briefly.

"I don't," he repeated. Remus looked at the girl in front of him, the usually brave and strong Gryffindor. He decided to come out with the truth. "I did at one point."

"I know," she whispered, so softly that he barely caught it.

But he did. He leaned down to catch her eye, showing that he wasn't lying when he said, "But that was a long, long time ago."

Jodie wanted to ask him who he loved now. She wanted to ask: _do you love _me? But she didn't want to know the answer. She was content as it was.

"Okay," she said softly.

"Okay?" he repeated, placing his knuckle onto her cheek.

"Okay," she said once again, stronger this time.

"Be honest Jodie, are we okay?"

She paused, her expression thoughtful. "Yes," she affirmed.

He smiled, then leaned forward and closed the distance between them, his other hand pulling her closer.

She suddenly found her lips occupied—she was kissing Remus. Jodie smiled too. It was the first time ever that Remus initiated anything more than a fraternal hug towards her. That had to account for something—

"Remus," a voice cut in. Jodie jumped away in surprise. "Oops."

Remus growled softly, and reluctantly pulled away. "Yes?" he asked, somewhat disturbed.

"Was I interrupting something?" laughed Sirius, pulling Beth into view.

"Hey Remus, hey Jodie. Jodie…why is your face so red—oh. Ohhhhh," Beth looked between the two wide-eyed.

"Remus is red too!" announced Sirius.

Remus rolled his eyes. "What do you want?" he snapped.

"Are you up for a little trip to Hogsmeade?"

Remus looked bewildered. "Now? Are you serious?"

Sirius nodded his head eagerly. "Why does nobody believe me?"

"Beth, I can't believe you would agree to a stupid idea like that."

"Me neither," she sighed.

Jodie laughed as Sirius protested.

"Sirius, Dumbledore's just cast about a thousand enchantments around the castle."

"We can try can't we?"

Jodie smiled. "Why not? It won't hurt," she agreed, "I'm up for a little adventure. It's been a bit boring."

"Boring?!" exclaimed Remus.

"Ha, see…someone agrees with me." Sirius nodded appreciatively at Jodie.

"You are just like him," chuckled Beth. "Ball's in your court Remus."

Remus was about to say no when he looked at Jodie's pleading eyes. To his utter disbelief, before he could stop it, he heard himself say yes.

Instantly he regretted it as Sirius leaped for joy. But as he saw Jodie's happy expression, a little part of him congratulated himself.

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"Remind me—why did I agree to this?"

James looked at her innocently.

"Right, that's why," Lily said, throwing her hands up in the air.

"We won't get caught," assured Sirius.

Lily crossed her arms. "That's not much coming from you."

"Someone's in a grumpy mood," Jodie chimed in.

"I am not," Lily huffed.

James took Lily's hand and squeezed. "I'm head boy. I know my responsibilities too Lils, trust me," he said quietly so that only she could hear.

She nodded, feeling a little better because—well—she honestly did trust him.

Besides as Lily looked up into the black night with thousands of twinkling lights pinned onto it, she couldn't help but feel better. It was truly a breathtaking sight and Lily wondered if magic had anything to do with it.

She took her hand out of James' and skipped ahead, spinning as she went with her hands flying freely. She shrieked happily, prancing around in the cold night air like she did when she was a little girl.

James stifled a laugh, running to catch up with her.

Beth and Jodie soon joined in, followed by Sirius who happily obliged. Remus and Peter looked at each other and shrugged, then ran after the group.

Together the seven twirled and span, dancing in a surreal glow. James was the first to stop, placing his hands on his knees and hunching over.

He laughed breathlessly, his breath visible in the cold. Sirius stood beside him similarly.

"Aren't you tired?" chuckled Sirius, catching Beth as she tumbled towards him intentionally. He caught her in his arms. She stuck her tongue out at him in a child like manner.

"Bad idea," he said, letting go of his hold on her. She fell to the hard ground, covered in frost.

But instead of complaining, she bubbled with laughter.

"That was fun," admitted Remus as he helped Beth up. Peter was beside him while Lily stood near James.

Jodie nodded.

She looked meaningfully at Lily and Beth, nodding her head towards the tree near the lake in the distance. They caught her drift.

"Last one to the tree has to do what the winner says!" squealed Beth, sprinting ahead alongside Jodie and Lily.

The boys were only a second behind in reaction, and they easily over took them.

Lily slowed down, deciding she was going to lose anyways. Beth and Jodie followed suit. The boys were too far ahead to notice though, probably too caught up in the race to realize that their competition had given up. They walked instead, catching their breath.

As the boys neared the destination, they realized the girls were missing and caught sight of them in the distance, slowly walking.

James held up his hand, and they all high fived, celebrating a victory. They huffed and panted, their bodies warm due to the exercise.

They leaned on the other side of the tree, resting after a long run. The girls wouldn't be there for minutes.

Peter though, stood.

_"Timmmmmeeee,"_ a voice echoed in his head. He closed his eyes, his head hurting.

"You okay Wormtail?" asked James, concerned for his friend.

Peter wanted to shout, _stop caring for me! _He didn't deserve it. But instead, he only nodded his head.

_"Timmmmmeeeee."_

"OKAY!" squealed Peter angrily. He looked at the three pairs of eyes staring at him, none matching the frightening voice in his head. "Sorry."

"Do you want to go back?" Remus pressed. "You look pale."

"No, it's alright," Peter gulped, catching sight of the girls picking up their pace. He began to execute the plan he had contrived earlier.

He stalled, waiting for the right moment. "So…."

"Yeah Wormy?"

"Um…." The girls were approaching.

"It's February 14th."

"We've established that since we woke up this morning Wormtail, thanks," grumbled Sirius, looking at his friend curiously. None of them noticed the nearing people.

"You've won the bet."

"But—" James protested, about to point out that he had, in fact, _forfeited_ that bet.

Peter hastily cut him off. "You've made Lily you're girlfriend."

Remus heard a noise behind him and whipped around.

Peter continued, "Tricked her into it didn't you? Used that good old Potter charm." His beady eyes watched Lily's reaction. By now, the girls had slowed their pace and were on the other side of the tree trunk, but a meter away. Certainly within hearing distance.

Remus was glaring at him, pressing him to stop. James and Sirius were still oblivious, confusion etched onto their features.

_"Well donnee,"_ a voice hissed. But Peter didn't feel like he was doing anything good—really, it was the opposite. He knew the consequences if he didn't continue though.

"Peter," muttered Remus, "Stop."

He ignored him. "How much do you win, 60 galleons? When are you going to break up with her?"

"Peter!"

A soft voice broke through. "A bet?"

James froze, every muscle tensing in his body. He closed his eyes tightly. This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid in forfeiting the bet. How could Peter forget that he already gave it up?

Surely Lily would let him explain? Surely she would listen?

"It was all a bet," she breathed, tasting the words on her lips. She covered her mouth with her hand, choking out a sob, and backed away.

James leapt up, turning around. "Please Lily, it's not what you think."

But Lily only shook her head. She looked straight into James' anguished face, her eyes burning holes in them. "I should have known," she cried softly, her own face drained of all colour. Her grip tightened around her face.

He took a step forward.

"You know what," she said, suddenly looking to Beth and Jodie, who were regarding her with sympathy. "I'm dead tired, you guys go ahead."

And with that, she ran.

"Leave her James," said Beth in a soft tone when he began to sprint as well. His feet instantly rooted to the ground as if by some invisible force.

Jodie was not as nice. "What the hell man?"

James felt as if he were in a nightmare. He watched the flash of red hair disappear into the darkness. His gaze shifted from the comforting face of Beth, to the angry Jodie. Then to his sympathetic friends, and the apologetic one of Peter.

"Why?" he asked him. Peter couldn't reply, squeaking in response.

He looked back towards the castle—the direction in which Lily had took off. "Why?" he asked again, to no one in particular. He buried his face in his hands.

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**This chapter took a while to write. I had a writer's block. I tried to make the whole…fluffy parts not THAT typical and cheesy (which probably again, didn't work. I don't know) because the last chapter was, I admit, horrifically and disgustingly cheesy. Um, I hope this was good.**

**I bet you can guess who it was instructing Peter. Throughout my whole story, I hope you noticed that Peter had been constantly disappearing, and at times, the Marauders noticed. That really led up to this point.**

**Review Please!**


	41. The Disaster In Me

**Sorry this took a while. I had my exams. **

**The story is slowly coming to closure. I'm thinking…5 more chapters around. :( I**

**Harry Potter is not mine.**

**Review!**

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James ran the pad of his thumb over the delicately engraved letters that spelt Lily's name. "Please Lily, open the door." His voice was desperate.

He had tried banging, kicking, knocking, pleading…anything you could think of to get Lily to open her door to talk to him—but alas, to no avail.

"Lily, I'm sorry. You have to hear me out." He waited for a response. He wished she would come out and yell, come out and scream at him. Instead, all he got was silence. "Please," he begged. "Please Lily. Come out and talk to me."

"Sort of difficult since I'm not in there Potter," a voice spat from the dorm entrance.

He whipped around. "Lily," he gasped. "I'm so sorr—"

A powerful buzzing filled her head as she watched James stumble for words. Her hand came up to her throat, preparing for another onslaught of tears. The urge to flee from the man that had deceived her was strong. She didn't want to hear his excuses. She just wanted him to disappear. Him with her shattered heart in his hands. She barreled past him, careful to avoid contact. She was afraid of what his touch could do to her. _Hurry, _her mind told her, _hurry before he sees you break down._

"Get out of my way," she growled, her voice low and emotionless. Smartly, James stepped out of her. Immediately, she thundered past.

"Lily, wait!" he called, racing to stop the door from closing.

He was able to stick his hand between the door and the frame just in time. He gripped the wood with all his might, refusing to let her leave.

Abruptly, she stopped trying to force the door closed. She turned to face him, giving him a view of her bloodshot eyes, sad and angry at the same time.

"You got what you wanted. You won. Now, leave me alone," she surrendered. She watched as his grip slackened. "Please," she added.

James let his hand fall in defeat. The door clicked shut.

Lily fell against the wood, sliding down until she reached the ground. She hugged her legs into her body, cradling herself gently. Why had she ever believed him? It had all been a lie. A horrible, gruesome lie—_Had all those years been lies? _She didn't want to believe it, but she wouldn't put it past him. Now, even the lie was over.

Lily cried herself to sleep that night.

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Lily watched herself in the mirror the next morning, torn between the decision to face him, or to hide. She buttoned her shirt, straightened her skirt and rolled up the cuffs of her sleeves, all the while staring into the mirror. She swept her bangs to the side and pulled her hair into a ponytail.

She wanted to face him with dignity.

She almost achieved the effect, looking like she did any other day. Except for her jaded eyes, her puffy lips, and her broken heart. Almost.

She still wasn't sure what to do—but the moment she threw her door open, the decision was made for her.

"Lily." In his hand was a white tulip which he was nervously twirling between his fingers. It reminded her of the time he had used that flower as an apology. Suddenly, she felt sick in her stomach. The pungent smell brought unwanted emotions into her body. She felt like tearing the flower apart. She used to like tulips—they had been her favourite. Now she hated them.

How could it hurt this much? Hadn't she learned before? William. Now James. He was never known for long term relationships. Lily had known that! How could this have happened? How could she have managed to let herself fall for a guy who had been with her to win a wager.

At least now she knew the truth. Before it went too far.

But Lily didn't know how much farther it could have gone. She loved him.

She faced her enemy, her body tense, her eyes flashing. "Potter," she said coolly.

"I know you're mad—"

"Damn right—" she yelled.

"Just hear me out." He cut her off and presented the flower to her. She took it, ignoring the brief hopeful look on his face, and threw it to the ground, stomping on it for good measure. She almost laughed at how similar it was to her heart—the poor flower.

"Tell me…James. Be honest for once."

She eyed him as he nodded.

"Was this really a bet?" she questioned hoarsely, praying that he would say no. She felt herself break as the silence engulfed them.

"I-it—it wasn't like that—"

"It's not that hard!" she screamed. "Was there, or wasn't there a bet?!"

He reached out for her and she drew away. He retracted his hand and tapped his head. "Just let me explain Lily."

"What kind of pitiful argument can you possibly come up with? How can you even look at my face after what you've done?"

"It changed Lily!" He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. Why wouldn't she believe him?

"Yes, it did change. You got caught. That's what changed," she raged. "Don't lie to me James," she said softly, her voice broken and tired. "Not anymore. How much was the wager worth?"

"60," he breathed raggedly.

"60 measly galleons," she said, looking away. "I would have gladly given you 100, just so you would have left me alone."

He stood dejected, unable to process what she had just said. He hung his head in shame. "That's not why I got together with you Lily."

"What? Did you bet double or nothing too? Are there any more bets I should know about?" She looked at him with a beady expression. Their eyes locked. "Did you bet how long it would take for you too dump me too?" she asked quietly.

"Oh god Lily," he whispered, his hands forming fists. "I have no intention of doing that Lily. You have to believe me."

"I _did _believe you, don't you get it?" she cried.

"You don't know how long I've loved you Lily. We'll be together forever Lily." His voice was quiet and gentle.

She shook her head, backing away from their proximity. "Nothing lasts forever," she yelled, her voice raising.

"Lily!"

"Didn't you care how I would feel? I'm a human being with feelings James. And a heart!" She began pacing. "You don't do this to people you love James. You don't love me."

"I do Lily!"

"You don't," she said slowly as she began to walk away.

"Wait!" He was relieved to see her pause. "You have every right to be mad. But when I made the bet, I was trying to convince myself that I didn't love you. Don't you see though? I did. I do. I always will!" He paused, waiting for a reaction. He ran a hand through his hair again, and rubbed his eyes. "I didn't know how it would be between us. I mean, I've always suspected it but…it's been the best few months of my life."

Memories of what they had shared flooded her. Lily turned around.

"Were you lying in bed all these nights counting your money? 60 galleons. What could you buy with that? Oh, maybe there were more wagers!" she screeched.

"There were no other bets."

The tears she had held at bay suddenly rose to her throat. She gulped, knowing that if they started, they wouldn't quit.

James raised his hands. "When I realized that I truly loved you Lily—that I couldn't live without you—I forfeited."

A tear rolled down her face, unseen by James. She quickly raised her hand to swipe it away, but soon, another dropped. Then another.

Sobs followed. Desperate, bulky, pain filled sobs that ripped James' heart out.

"I want nothing more to do with you," she choked out.

She hastily turned away and ran out of the room.

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Shoulders slumped, James made his way from yet another Lily-less dinner to the head dormitories. It had been a week since Lily had found out about the bet. Since then, James hadn't been able to eat, to sleep, to do anything really.

He found classes a waste of time, because he couldn't think of anything he wanted to do in the future besides spend his life with Lily. And since that didn't seem to be happening anymore, what was the point of education? During class, he would focus on coming up with ways to grovel for forgiveness from the girl who refused to even look at him anymore.

As he entered through the portrait, he padded his way to the room. As he crossed the common area, he took in how empty and abandoned the room felt. Since the argument—James refused to call it a break up—the room had taken on the atmosphere of a tomb. Even though only Lily and James lived here, there had always been a presence of Lily in the room. Now, it echoed with a chilling silence, despite the warming weather.

James paused and eyed the fireplace, burning with the smallest of fires. Where once it had been a place of comfort, of happiness, of shared laughter between Lily and himself, James now avoided it. He never saw Lily anymore, save for during classes. Of course, it was a given that she wouldn't miss classes because of him.

James, along with the rest of their friends, was disconcerted about Lily's withdrawal. He had just learned to live with it. It didn't mean that he was going to stop trying.

Lily now woke up especially early and left the room before James woke up. She would have breakfast earlier than nearly the whole school. During classes, she would surround herself with friends, blatantly ignoring James' attempts. Then during lunch, she would sit as far from him as possible. Dinner—she had convinced the house elves to bring that to her room.

Damned house elves.

James usually had a tender spot for those abused creatures. They were his friends. Countless times, the house elves had allowed the Marauders into their kitchens for late snacks. Numerous times, the house elves had aided them in their pranks.

But now, the house elves treated James like any other student. Some, the house elf Molly in particular, who favoured James above all others, had taken to scolding him for hurting '_the pretty little lady'._

God, he missed the pretty little lady. He missed her smile, her laugh, he quiet gentle ways. He wanted her back in his arms. He had apologized. He knew he was wrong. He just didn't know what he was supposed to do.

He stood silently in the room looking like a fool. He missed her teasing ways. He missed their verbal sparring. He just missed Lily.

He needed her to know that.

"Potter, we have patrol duty."

He missed that voice.

"Potter?" Lily snapped.

"Stop calling me Potter, Lily. I thought we got over that."

"Over and back. Stop calling me Lily, Potter."

"No can do."

"Whatever Potter, I'll take the first floor. You take the second." And without another word, she strode out of the room. Their conversations had been similar to this all week. If you could call the conversations at least.

"Lily, we need to talk." He raced after her, easily catching up with her before she left the dorm.

"Go away."

"No." He shook his head, standing resolutely in place.

"There's nothing to say." She began walking again, but he blocked her escape with his body.

"I didn't give you permission to speak with me," she said furiously, sensing now that she was trapped.

"I didn't ask."

"Well now we know the brute you are."

"I'll leave you alone as soon as you hear me out," he negotiated. She needed to hear his explanation, if not just to ease his mind.

She raised her eyebrows. "Now why would I listen?"

"Because I want to apologize." His voice was low and husky, sending shivers down Lily's spine. It wasn't fair that he had that effect on her. She was aware that he was waiting for her to soften her expression, so she hardened it instead—although inside, she was melting.

"All I'm asking for is forgiveness."

"Forgiveness is easy to give. Forgetting—"

"is a different matter altogether. I know, Lily." He clasped his hands tightly together, preventing himself from reaching for her. "I'm not asking you to forget."

"You ask for forgiveness a lot."

"Please Lily."

"Forgiveness you can earn. I don't care how _great _it was being with you."

James felt a small smile appear on his face. It was an aloof smile. He felt like dancing a happy dance because of this moment. She thought it was great being with him.

"You want us back together just as much as I do," he stated before he could stop himself. His words were soft and from his heart, yet upon seeing her reaction, he knew it was the wrong thing to say. He knew it before seeing her reaction actually.

She drew herself erect, wrenching around to face him, her eyes flaring with indignation. "Let's make a bet. I bet you 60 galleons that you'll find another girl before you find yourself with me again."

He grabbed her arm forcefully and pulled her towards him. She was using his own words against him and it hurt. It made him feel even worse about his actions.

He watched as her eyes widened in response to his sudden action. The smell of lilacs and the feel of her in his hands made it hurt even more.

"Damn you Lily," he ground out. "Damn you for making me love you so much it hurts." He released her and pushed his way out the door.

"I truly am sorry. But I did give it up Lily. I didn't win the bet—because I didn't want to win that way."

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**REVIEW? Yes? Yes? Yes?**


	42. Do It All Over Again

**Harry Potter…is…not…mine. Lovely.**

**Review!**

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_"I truly am sorry. But I did give it up Lily. I didn't win the bet—because I didn't want to win that way."_

The words hung heavily in the air, minutes after they had been spoken.

Lily's mind whirled as she watched James disappear through the portrait hole, looking back at her one last time before leaving a discerning silence in his wake.

_He didn't win? _

Those were the only words she could process. He. Didn't. Win.

Her analytical mind, usually so efficient and correct, was at loss. Utterly lost. Hadn't Peter clearly been congratulating James on his win? _Yet, James…_She didn't understand at all. She wasn't sure she wanted to.

Lily bit her lip, and squeezed her eyes shut—thoughts of the previous conversation flooding past the weak resistance in her mind.

60 galleons.

She was worth 60 galleons to him. 60 bloody galleons. It hurt. It hurt like hell. Perhaps she had taken for granted his years of infatuation of her. It had always made her feel secretly important, no matter how annoying it had been. She had always suspected it wasn't just an infatuation—rather more of a game to him. She supposed she had been correct.

Never more than now did Lily wish she had been wrong. Except…Lily Evans was rarely wrong—_damn it. _

But that wasn't what hurt the most. What hurt the most was that all of what they had shared, all those times that she had believed he had changed, was a lie. A lie that earned him 60 galleons. What tore her apart were all his broken promises—empty words, she now realized. She had trusted him.

Lily Evans had handed her heart to him in a neat little package, and he had taken it to his friends, dangling it in front of them like a trophy.

In the process, tearing her heart apart.

She wondered if he had been laughing at her on the inside. Had he been…

_No, _she berated herself, cutting off her thoughts, _James wouldn't do that. _She knew that. She should know that. She begged herself to know that. But inside, there was the little seed of doubt.

She remembered Christmas. It was branded upon her mind. She wondered if it were the same to him. Their first kiss. She had taken a chance.

_He stepped forward from the shadows, now partially illuminated. "Merry Christmas Lily," he said in his deep voice. _

_Her brain stopped thinking, her voice was dry. "Merry Christmas?" she asked, a frown appearing. She was unfortunately also aware that he looked better than ever. And that he had just said 'Merry Christmas'. What was she expecting? I love you? But a little voice in her head told her… yes._

"_Well yeah, I'm your secret Santa," he said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Lily was dumbstruck._

"_Oh." It was the only thing she could manage._

"_Oh?" He smiled at her, making her mind incapable of comprehending the situation. Making her oblivious that he was now slightly closer than before._

"_Okay," she said slowly, sounding out the word. "So then…um…where's my gift?"_

_No need to drag this out longer, she thought to herself, scolding herself to think it could be something more._

_The pause made her fill with dread, crushing her dreams. She closed her eyes painfully, a stabbing becoming more and more prominent in her chest. A teardrop appeared in the corner of her eyes—she hoped he wouldn't see it._

_Just as she closed off all hope, he whispered in her ear._

"_Me."_

_And without giving her anytime to think, he gently lifted her chin up with the pad of his thumb, leaned down and captured her frowning lips with his own._

The memory now was like a curse. Where once it had been the source of her happiness, now it was the source of her hurt.

It pained her to think that at that time, he had just succeeded in his bet. How could she have been such a fool? Never..never, had she thought that he would do this to her. She had thought he was sincere. That he meant what he said.

"_James," she said seriously. He waited. "I love you."_

"_Okay, now I'm sure you're under…" He stopped seeing the frown on her face. "Yo-you're serious?" he stuttered._

_She nodded solemnly, her happiness quickly deflating. "It's okay if you don't, I mean…I just wanted to tell you," she said immediately, gesturing at the scene around her. "You know, when I thought I would never see you again, it just sort of dawned on me an—"_

_She was cut off by a set of firm lips pressed against her own._

_"I love you too."_

"Love," she said, echoing her thoughts. There wasn't love. She had meant every word she said, where as he…Her thoughts trailed off.

She realized that she had expected love. She wanted love.

James, she decided, should have been an actor.

Unable to support herself anymore, she sank to the ground. Sadness was written on her face, in her posture. Her head was in her hands, her shoulders slumped in defeat. She croaked a laugh. He had, unknowingly, become her everything. Until this moment, she hadn't realized it.

She had taken a gamble. And she had lost.

Lily rubbed the bridge of her nose, her head falling into her hands. Broken, exhausted.

At first, she had prayed that she had heard wrong. When she had come running back to the castle, she had hoped that he would run after her, tell her she was wrong, hug her, kiss her and make it all better. But he hadn't.

And even in the darkness of the night, she knew her eyes had not misled her. It had been guilt that had risen in his face, flushing his white skin. Nothing but guilt.

And she had given him the chance to tell her she was wrong. Against all presumptions, she had forced herself to allow him the chance to correct her had she been mistaken. She had asked him if there really had been a bet about her.

He hadn't been able to answer at first—and that was when she knew.

Then he had said that one word that had stabbed her chest. A finality. Yes.

There had been a bet. He had made the bet.

Her world, her dreams, had shattered at that moment.

Lily didn't know what to believe. But she believed one thing. She had been a bet—that had been the reason James chose her.

The words haunted her again, vividly branded in her mind.

_"I truly am sorry. But I did give it up Lily. I didn't win the bet—because I didn't want to win that way."_

Did it matter that he hadn't won? What did he mean he gave it up? How could he have not won?

Lily tried to convince herself it that she didn't care—but she did. She wanted to believe that this wasn't the end. But how could she trust him again after this?

Was this truly the end?

And against her better judgment, she wished it wasn't. Because she knew, she knew, that if she had the choice, she would do it all over again.

She would have loved him.

She would love him.

He had stolen her heart, whether he gave her his or not.

And she would have let him take it, even if he hadn't thieved it away. She would have let him in a heartbeat.

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"Let. Us. In," raged Jodie at the character in the portrait door of the heads dorm.

"I cannot. You are neither Lily Evans or James Potter."

"Thank you for stating the obvious, but I don't care. Let us in."

The character merely shook her head and sat back down on her plump chair, sipping her glass of wine casually as if the two furious children in front of her were not there.

"You have got to be joking me," muttered Beth, looking around for signs of James. Perhaps he would be able to convince the insufferable lady to let them in.

"Lily! Lily!" screamed Jodie, placing her mouth directly in front of the face of the lady. Her screams echoed in the painting, the wineglass shattering at the pitch of the yell.

"Bloody hell!" thundered the lady, jumping up from her seat in surprise. "What do you think you're doing?" But she was ignored.

"Lily!"

The character covered her ears in frustration. "Stop screaming! It echoes in here!"

"That's the point!" replied Jodie, raising her voice another notch. The Gryffindors in the tower beside could probably hear her. "Now get me Lily!"

Beth gaped at Jodie for a moment. Then proceeded to scream as well. "Lily! Lily!"

That did it.

The lady turned away, slipping out of the portrait angrily, muttering harshly under her breath, "Outrageous. Children these days. Dumbledore. OUTRAGEOUS!"

"Think it worked?" asked Jodie, ceasing to yell the moment the lady slipped away.

Beth rubbed her throat. "Better have."

And it did, because in the next moment, Lily threw the entrance open, revealing the deserted common area where she had just been sitting in.

She stepped away, giving the two girls entrance. Immediately they stepped in, but not before Jodie pranced around the open painting to give the lady a view of her victorious smirk.

Beth stepped inside, shaking her head at Jodie's sudden immaturity, and looked around the rooms curiously. "Is he—"

"He left just a while ago," sighed Lily tiredly. She remembered his crestfallen expression. "I doubt he'll be back any time soon."

Beth nodded, dragging Jodie away from taunting the poor lady, and took a seat on the couch. Even she noticed the empty feeling in the room.

They started talking casually. It was a forced conversation, void of anything important. Schoolwork. What was happening around school. Simple things like that. Jodie and Beth were waiting for Lily to speak up about James—she had been avoiding it since the brief conversation that had had the day after.

Finally, after it seemed as if Lily would never bring it up, she did.

"He said he gave it up—that he didn't win. I don't get it."

Beth looked at Jodie, giving her a _should we tell her? _look. Lily caught on, and rose her eyebrows in curiosity. "What is it?" she said hesitantly.

"Lily," she began softly, "we need to talk."

"I don't want to hear it," she immediately replied obstinately.

Jodie frowned. "Don't be stubborn Lily, hear us out."

"I can't believe you're taking his side! All week you've been on my side, and suddenly you're on his?!" yelped Lily, pushing off her seat in anger.

Beth shook her head.She gripped Lily's forearm and pulled her down, then put her two hands on Lily's shoulders.

"We are on you're side. What he did was horrible and wrong—"

"Then…"

"Just let her continue!" interrupted Jodie. Lily bit her lip.

Jodie nodded at Beth to proceed. "But…you have to hear the full story Lily," she went on, "just.—"

"What full story?"

Upon hearing no response, she looked between her two best friends. "Guys…" she said slowly.

The three stared at each other.

"Uh…"

"This full story," said a new voice. The three girls looked up to see Sirius walk in, seemingly alone.

Beth and Jodie visibly relaxed, while Lily still wore a puzzled expression.

"How did you get in?" asked Jodie, trying to ease the tension.

Sirius merely looked at the door.

Lo and behold, in walked James Potter, the one and only.

Beth whirled around and glared at Sirius, who squirmed under her gaze. Jodie immediately put her arm around Lily, comforting her, yet preventing her from escaping. She could feel Lily tense up beneath her hold. She looked over at James, who merely stared at Lily longingly.

Suddenly, the tension was thicker than ever.

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**I PROMISE next chapter I'll try my best to put some Lily/James heart-to-heart. And I'll try to make it very cute. and very nice. and...**

**So, I'm not sure how this turned out. Next chapter, or next next, will have a resolution, and then slowly the story will wind down to it's finish:(**

UNLESS, you guys have any suggestions? ****

**I'm not sure whether I will keep Remus and Jodie together in the end. What do you guys think?**

**REVIEW. COMMENT. **

**\/**

**Wow, I can't make arrows.**


	43. Tell Me What I Want to Hear

**To **thestralwhisperer, **the '****I love you****' scene happened right after the Death Eater attack, and since Lily hadn't been able to find James at first, she thought she wouldn't ever see him again. I hope that answered your question.**

**Right now, its about March (a little over a week past valentine's day), so there are a few months left of school for them.**

**Oh, and to one of the reviews, which I cannot name off the top of my head, lo and behold I believe is like a term or a common phrase. The lo and the behold go together.**

**As for Remus and Jodie, I think I've made my decision on what to do. But I shall keep that a secret. Thanks for your reviews.**

**And, I hope this chapter meets up to the expectation. It's a scary thing—expectations. :P**

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Silence filled the room. If a pin were to have dropped, the miniscule clang as the object hit the floor would have been heard loud and clear in the room at that moment.

Lily trained her eyes away from James.

James stared sorrowfully and apologetically at Lily.

Sirius looked heavenward, praying to God that they would all make it out alive.

Beth gave Sirius her deadliest glare, deciding that that her boyfriend was probably the biggest git in the world. She had no doubt he had forced James here.

The last person in the room, Jodie, panned the room, taking in everybody's reaction. "So—" she began.

Lily interrupted her, spitting the words out with malice. "I'm leaving."

She made a move to stand up, but was prevented by Jodie's firm grip.

"You can't leave," she said simply.

Lily struggled to push Jodie off. "I _am _leaving," she reiterated furiously.

"No," repeated Jodie.

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Ye—"

"NO!" shouted Sirius. He stormed over to Lily, sick of the arguing, and forcefully pushed her onto the couch. "Sit there," he growled, his tone indicating that he wasn't afraid to use magic to make her stay put.

Lily glared daggers at the boy, but complied nonetheless. She knew she was fighting a losing battle.

Sirius nodded gruffly, satisfied, and proceeded to stomp over to James. "And you," he said, "sit here." He directed James to the spot on the couch where Beth occupied, directly beside Lily.

"Beth." Sirius cocked his head to the side, and Beth began to stand.

"Don't you dare Beth," said a fearful Lily. She didn't want James beside her.

Beth looked between James and Lily. She smiled softly at James. "It's for your own good Lily," she said quietly.

The next thing Lily knew, Beth was standing beside Sirius. "Beth!" she shouted, crossing her arms.

She felt the cushion under her shift as new weight was added beside her. She, not-so-discreetly, inched away.

James watched the love of his life separate herself from him, as if he carried an infectious disease. He knew it was his own fault.

"I'm sorry," he said, for the billionth time it seemed.

"Yeah?" Lily turned to look at him, and for a brief moment, he felt hopeful. "Me too. For believing you the first time." Hope only gave room for shattered dreams. Her words were not spoken in spite, or anger. They were spoken emotionally—they were raw and honest, and that made James feel all the more pained.

Lily watched as the spark in his eyes disappeared. He looked like how she felt—broken and dispirited. He looked like he needed a hug. She had to use all her willpower to force herself to remember that she wasn't the one to give it to him anymore.

She regarded Jodie. Strong and jubilant Jodie, who was now subdued and exhaled an air of sadness all because of Remus. Jodie loved Remus, but Remus…

Lily didn't blame him.

She looked at Sirius, who had his arm wrapped around the Beth's waist. It made her burn with jealously and anguishes.

Beth. She wasn't Beth. She wondered how Beth at forgiven Sirius when he had broken her heart.

Were their hearts made to be broken? Because then, Lily would rather choose not to have a heart.

But hadn't Beth shown that hearts could be mended? Lily felt hypocritical. She had told Beth to hear Sirius out. She was the one that had convinced Beth to give him a second chance. But she hadn't done that for James.

She let her gaze fall on James now. James, with his tousled hair, his piercing hazel eyes, his joyous humorous personality, his strong embrace, his warm touch, his sweet kisses—she missed him.

She didn't want them to end.

She simply didn't.

It was then that she realized Sirius had been speaking. She concentrated on the words.

"And yes, we _did _make a bet on you. On whether he would have been able to get you as his girlfriend before Valentine's day…"

Lily cringed and she looked down, placing her hands on either side of her. She felt Jodie squeeze her shoulder reassuringly. She listened on, choosing to follow her heart for once instead of her head.

"…I don't know why Peter said that."

"Why wouldn't he?" Lily burst, before she could contain herself. It was the first time she spoke since she had previously resolutely crossed her hands and stayed against her will.

Sirius rose his eyebrows. "Maybe James should continue."

"Maybe not," argued Lily, but she was ignored.

"Because," James went on quietly, "because I forfeited the bet weeks ago."

Lily's head snapped up and she gaped at James, her mouth falling open in surprise.

"Wha—What?" she stuttered.

"I forfeited. I paid the 60 galleons."

The uninvolved members in the room smiled knowingly.

"What?" Lily repeated. "You what?"

"Forfeited," he said patiently.

"Forfeited," she murmured, while James nodded. "But—_why?" _Her heart was soaring.

He looked down at her left hand, gripping the edge of the cushion between them. He dared to put his hand over hers, holding hers so that she couldn't retreat if she tried.

She didn't.

"James. _Why?"_

He didn't answer.

"I think," began Beth quietly. "I think we better head back now." She tugged at Sirius' reluctant hand.

"But I want to see this," he hissed.

"Too bad," she whispered back. "Come on." And together they left the dorm.

Jodie stood as well, squeezing Lily's shoulder one last time before heading out.

Finally, the door slammed shut and silence was restored.

Lily didn't know what to do. She watched their hands—hers within his gentle grasp. He looked as if he were struggling.

By instinct, Lily used her thumb to gently rub his hand in circular motions. He looked up at her in surprise, but made no move to talk.

She stopped, and looked away. "It's not a difficult question."

He sighed, running his free hand through his hair. "It was the end of January." He paused, trying to get control of his thoughts. "Before that time, I had almost forgotten about my bet with the guys."

Lily looked at him skeptically.

"It's true. I know it doesn't make what I did any better, but being with you Lily—it was so-i—it just wasn't about the bet."

Lily began retracting her hand, hating how he was lying to her again. His grip tightened. "Please Lily, just hear me out. I'll-I'll—never bother you again after if you want it that way."

She didn't, but wasn't about to tell him that. Nevertheless, she listened.

He smiled a small, relieved smile. Hesitant, tentative. "As I was saying," he continued, "It was the end of January when I remembered the bet. I knew it was wrong."

_That was an understatement, _thought Lily.

He seemed to pick up on her thoughts. "No, it was more than wrong. It was a horrible, disgusting thing to do. I knew that if you found out, you would hate me for it—"

In one swift moment, Lily pulled her hand back. "So that was it?" she raged. "You forfeited because I would hate you if I found out?!" she screamed. "Oh that's rich James. And here I thought—"

"Didn't you hear what I just said?" yelled James, equally as loud. "I had forgotten about the bet!"

"And now their fighting," commentated the lady in the portrait to the three eager listeners outside. She enjoyed the attention.

Sirius, Beth, and Jodie simultaneously groaned.

"Oh, oh wait…"

"I'm sorry," sighed James. "That came out wrong."

He rubbed the bridge of his nose, and Lily fell silent. "I knew that if you found out, you would hate me, but that wasn't why I gave it up. I gave it up because I truly lost the bet."

Lily bit her lip, refraining from any vulgar comments to let him continue. She wanted to hear this.

"The bet was to get you as my girlfriend, and in that aspect, I succeeded." He hurried on. "But what the bet didn't tell me was that I was going to fall madly and hopelessly in love with you."

Lily gulped.

"I forfeited because…because I wanted what was between us to be real. I didn't want it to be because of a bet."

He looked down. "I know it was foolish to think that," he hesitated, "that just because I gave it up, I could pretend like it never happened. I just hoped that you would never find out Lily, because I never wanted to see you hurt. It was never my intention."

There was a long pause, and James felt himself flush after his confession. Shouldn't Lily be saying anything? Was it too much to hope that he hadn't destroyed all of her affection for him with his stupid mistakes?

"What _was _your intention?" she croaked out tearfully.

He looked at her thoughtfully. "I don't know," he admitted, "but it doesn't matter."

She let a tear run along her cheek, and allowed James to clear it off with his caressing touch. "What _is _your intention?" she managed.

"To apologize I guess," he shrugged, feigning nonchalance. That was _not _what Lily wanted to hear, but before she could get a word in, he had grabbed her other hand.

"To beg for forgiveness. To love you. To never hurt you again. To—"

Lily cut him off with her lips on the corner of his mouth. It was a quick peck. A fearful peck. But it was something.

He felt his own cheeks wet with something salty. Was it tears?

If it was, he didn't mind, because at that moment, Lily was wiping them away with her kisses.

Finally, she stopped and pulled back.

"You've succeeded in your first two," she whispered, her breathing heavy and unsteady.

"Will you let me complete the rest of my intentions," he asked, softly, just as quiet in her ear.

She pulled her hands out of his, and placed them on either sides of his face. "Tell me we were real. Tell me it wasn't a lie. Because I thought we were real."

He lifted his hands, hesitating briefly before covering hers with his. He was afraid he would ruin his last chance.

"We were," he cried. "Believe me," he pleaded.

She inhaled sharply. Her mind was whirling, contemplating all the times he had proven to her just how much she shouldn't believe him—shouldn't trust him. Her eyes shut harshly.

"I do," she said, the words flowing from her heart. "Do you promise there's no more?"

"I promise," he said solemnly. "Never again."

She smiled, her eyes fluttered open, the emerald in them shining brighter than ever. "And you learnt your lesson?" she teased.

He smiled elatedly. "Yes, yes, and yes."

She brought her lips down to his smiling ones, feeling—not watching—the smile turn into a grin. "I love you," she muttered, nibbling his bottom lip gently to open up for her. "So much. So, so much." Tears fell from the both of them, merging together. Happy tears.

"I love you too Lily," he said, and she took this chance to plunge further into the kiss, displaying to him just how much she loved her.

He did the same.

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**So, tell me, how was it? Up to par?**

**I was contemplating going further at the end. You know…but this shall remain children friendly I have decided. Let your imaginations run wild.**

**And somebody asked about continuing into after school. I would honestly love to, but I don't think I will for two reasons.**

**I don't think I will be able to bear with writing them going past school, knowing that not long after, the inevitable will happen. **

**I have an idea for another Harry Potter story. Unfortunately, I do not think it will be another LJ fic, so I'm sorry if the pairing for the new story isn't what some of you guys like. But that shall be revealed in time! Ignore that for now:) heh**

**Review please. Comments:)**


	44. Beastly

**Hey. So first off. Thank you for all the reviews so far. They've been incredible:)  
**

**I've been loaded with work, so I'm sorry the next update will take longer than usual. Probably at least Tuesday earliest. Maybe not until after Valentine's. I'll try. But it not. HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODY:) hope you have someone to spend it with. I don't. :P oh well. **

**Last thing, for** the muddy worm **who asked about my new story's title, I'm not sure yet to be honest. But I will definitely make a mention of the new title by the ****very end**** of the story. So look out for that if you're interested.**

**Remember to review!:) **

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"Ok, if you guys don't stop snogging, I'm going to be sick," complained Jodie, rolling her eyes dramatically as she swallowed. "Along with the rest of the school."

Lily entwined her hands with James underneath the table, giving him one last quick kiss, before happily taking two pancakes from the pile in front of her. "It's not our fault," she shrugged, gesturing with her hand for the butter. "We have to make up for a whole week."

Lily dug her knife into the yellow substance, taking a generous serving, and spread it over her pancakes.

"Spare me," said Jodie bitterly. "Even they weren't like that after they made up." She nudged Beth with her elbow, who was sitting on her right hand side.

Beth whipped her head around, her long back hair in a ponytail slapping Jodie in the face as she did.

"What? Who? Huh? Sorry, I was talking to Sirius."

Jodie rubbed her left cheek, stinging slightly. "Nothing," she grumbled, and Lily bit back a giggle. Beth returned to her previous activity.

"How would you know," she continued thoughtfully, "he was in the hospital. Come to think of it, who knows what they did there?"

"Erm. I'd really rather not think about that," commented Jodie. "Anyways Lily, do you know where Remus—"

But she was cut off by a loud giggle, bubbling from Lily's mouth. "James!" she scolded, tugging at the arm of his that was around her, "Stop it."

He grinned cheekily at her, and pulled her closer towards him.

"James!"

He ignored her, picking up his fork clumsily with his left hand and spearing his food. She playfully hit his arm, but snuggled into his embrace nonetheless.

"Sorry Jodie, what?" She pointedly glared at James, placing the blame for the interruption on him.

"Remu—" Jodie looked between the two, and forced a smile. "Ah," she waved her hand, "it's nothing."

They were so happy together, and it was only the day before that they had reconciled. Jodie didn't want to bother her friends. She didn't want to burden them, disrupting their obviously blissful state.

Blissful was one way to put it. Another, as most of the Hogwart's population would tell you, was disgusting. They were just so damn happy.

"Remus?" inquired Lily, her eyebrows netting in confusion. She felt the grip tighten around her hand. "Remus?" she repeated, feeling James look up at her from her left.

James' eyes went wide. "I uh—have to go," he choked up, stuffing the rest of his toast hurriedly into his mouth and gulping down a cup of milk.

Jodie looked at him. "What?"

"Pee," he said as it was the first thing that came to mind.

Lily smacked her head mentally. Pee. Brilliant. "Yes," she said, "he has to pee."

Jodie narrowed her eyes for a second, "he has to pee?"

Both nodded.

"I won't even ask," she said, raising her hands up in mock surrender. Then suddenly, she dropped them and laughed. "Wait, do you have to _pee _too Lily?" she questioned, suggesting other implications.

"No." "Yes."

They looked at each other.

"Yes." "No."

James shook his head, hiding his smile, and placed a small kiss on Lily's forehead. "No," he said aloud. "Shut up Jodie." Then he turned around and all but ran out of the hall towards his room. He had been so caught up in Lily the past week, figuring ways to apologize, that he hadn't checked his calendar. Was it time again? Already?

He calculated backwards, counting the weeks. It wasn't looking good. What happened to friends forever? He increased his speed, becoming a flash of black against the stone walls.

"Um, okay that was just weird," frowned Jodie, watching James depart. Lily bit her lip. Why did he have to leave so suddenly? But she didn't have time to think of that as Jodie continued. "So Remus?" she asked. "Do you know where he is?"

Lily looked around, and sure enough, the boy was nowhere to be seen. Funny, usually him and Jodie were together. This time, Jodie didn't seem to know where he went. "No," Lily answered truthfully. "Not a clue."

A notion suddenly appeared in Lily's mind, causing her to frown. Jodie noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Lily said, shaking her head, but her mind was elsewhere. She mentally calculated the days since she had found out about that Remus was…well, what he was. Although she didn't have a schedule of the moon's cycle, it didn't take a genius to figure out why he was missing.

In the background, behind the thoughts whirling within her brain, she heard Jodie ask her if she needed to be somewhere else.

"Yes," Lily spoke out, interrupting what Jodie had been saying. She raised her eyebrows suggestively, thinking that Lily was going to meet up with James, but Lily merely shrugged, not noticing the implications.

"Alright then," Jodie said slowly.

Lily leaped out of her seat, nodded briefly to Jodie, Beth, Sirius, and Peter who had taken to sitting a few seats away recently to avoid the wrath of the angered Marauders, and forced herself to walk out slowly.

"Damn boyfriends," she heard Jodie mutter.

"You have one too you know," she called back.

There was no answer.

Lily didn't expect one.

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Lily breathed a sigh of relief as she wandered the halls, happy they no one had followed her. She began heading towards the head's tower, knowing that James would be there. It would be safer if she were with her boyfriend.

No matter how much she trusted Remus, she knew her facts. After she had found out—a quite shocking discovery really—that Remus was, in fact, a werewolf and that her boyfriends and his two other best friends were animagus, she had immediately rushed to the library, pulling out all the books she could about both topics.

If it had not been for James hurrying to catch up with her, she would have checked them all out at once, practically revealing all their secrets. Thankfully, James had stopped her, and together they had sat in the library reading. Mostly, Lily admitted, she had read and he had explained, but she hadn't minded.

Once a werewolf was in his or her animal form, they lose their human minds. They don't have the ability to feel, to think, to understand. They become purely beasts, instinctive and ruthless.

Lily looked outside, and squinted against the bright sun. She smacked her hand against her head. _Sun. _

She quickly redirected her route, choosing to look for Remus outside. If the event were to take place today, it would not be until nighttime.

"Remus?" she called, as she passed through countless empty classrooms along the way. "Reeeeemussssss," she dragged out. Her runners were silent against the stone floors.

Just as she was about to round the corner, she heard a voice on the other side.

"Remus?" it cried softly. "Where are you?"

Lily skidded to a stop, pushing her back against the wall, not daring to peer around the corner.

"Where are you?"

Lily listened as the footsteps faded away, slowly becoming softer and softer.

_Jodie. He didn't mean to. I swear. _

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It was nearly noon that Saturday before Lily found Remus and her boyfriend near the tree by the lake. The same spot where they had marked as the finishing line of the race one night, where Peter had revealed the bet, where Lily had run off in tears.

"Hey," greeted James cheerfully, whipping a flat stone across the surface of the water. He turned and smiled brightly at the sight of Lily.

She skipped over towards him and hugged him affectionately from behind. "Hey," she murmured. Then she turned to Remus. "Hey," she smiled.

"Lily," he nodded, sending her a small smile.

She looked at him, beginning hesitantly. "Is it…?" She pointed at the sky—the spring sun beating down directly above them.

He understood, shaking his head. "Not tonight," he said quietly. "Tomorrow," he said, barely a whisper.

Lily walked over to him, enchanting the damp ground to dry, before plopping herself down beside him. She crossed her legs, leaning against the tree.

_Plick. Pluck. Plick. Pluck. _

Rock after rock, stone after stone, the amount of bounces increased, traveling farther and farther away from the three students.

"Remus," began Lily, after a while.

"Mm?" he asked, his hair gently blowing in the light wind.

"She was worried about you." It was a simple statement.

"I figured," he conceded sadly, his gaze resting on the rippling aftermath upon the water's surface. James went off to scout for another good stone.

Lily pushed herself out of her comfortable position and sat up, turning to face the person beside him. "Why didn't you tell her where you were?" she asked innocently, purely out of wonder.

But yet, it made him feel ashamed. "I don't want her to see me like this."

"Like what?"

"Like this," he said, pointing to himself. Lily looked, taking in his pale skin, his tired eyes, and his worn out expression. "If the war doesn't kill me Lils, this will. I swear to god. This will." He rubbed his eyes.

Lily pressed her lips together. There was a pregnant pause, where Lily tried to come up with something to say. "Don't say that Remus. Maybe one day there'll be a cure—"

"Nobody cares to make one," he cut her off.

"You can't just give up," she reasoned.

"Don't you get it? I can't do anything. Look at my relationship with Jodie…" he trailed off. His eyes displayed sadness.

"Why don't you tell her?" suggested Lily softly.

"No."

"Why?"

"I can't afford to let too many people know. You know that."

"What are you saying? That you can't trust my friend?" said Lily, slightly offended.

"She's my girlfriend Lils, of course I trust her—"

"Then why not?"

"Simply because."

And Lily suddenly understood. She struggled to kneel in front of Remus. "She's a good person," Lily stated.

"I know."

"She'll stand by you Remus. I know it. She will."

"You can't guarantee it."

"Remus…" Lily said pleadingly.

"No."

"But—"

"And besides, what would I say? Oh by the way, your boyfriend's a werewolf. You know, the ones that bloody kill people, suck their blood, turn them into werewolves too? Those things."

"You're not like that," Lily stated firmly.

He smiled bitterly. "Ah," he sighed. "But I am."

"No—"

"She deserves better than someone like me. She won't have a life with the likes of me. Nobody will."

"Stop saying that!" cried Lily. "You can't believe that!"

"I can. I do. I will. I'm a beast Lily. A monster. You can't have a life with a monster. You can't have a future with one."

"Oh Remus—"

But James chose that moment to return, stopping Lily from continuing. He was proudly holding a handful of stones perfect for skipping. "Remember when you wanted me to teach you?" he announced. He looked between the two. "I just interrupted something didn't I?" he asked, his face scrunching up. "Sorry."

"No, no it's okay. We were just done anyways," said Remus hastily. "I'm going to go take a nap," he said, more to James. Then he turned to the girl. "Don't come tomorrow. I know you want to, but I don't want anything to happen."

Lily nodded, her face begging Remus to hear her out. He looked away. "See you Lily. See you Prongs."

"Later."

She sighed. "Bye."

"James," she said once Remus was out of earshot. "How did Remus get bitten?"

James looked up, surprised to say the least. When he decided that his girlfriend was indeed being serious, he said, "I'm not too sure really. He doesn't like to speak about it. I just know that it happened when he was a small boy. His father had offended one of the werewolves, and well…"

"Oh," she looked down. Suddenly, she felt ridiculous. Around her were people dealing with big problems—problems that affected their whole lives—and she was pretending that she understood these problems.

"Hey, hey," comforted James, picking up a stone from his pile, "he's always like this around that time. He'll be okay." He handed it over to Lily, who clasped the cool stone with her fingers.

"Yeah, I hope so."

"He's moony. He's always okay."

Lily nodded, deciding that the conversation was far too serious for her liking. She smiled. "So about that lesson. Is the offer still open?"

"A chance to wrap my arms around my lovely girlfriend? Hell yeah."

And he did just that.

"James!" she laughed. "You're supposed to be teaching me to skip stones!"

He shook his head, which was resting on her shoulder.

"James!"

"Fine," he pouted, detaching himself. He was about to turn around to pick up a rock for himself when he felt Lily turn around and hug him from the front.

"Maybe this is fine too."

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**Three more chappies I've planned. We'll see how things progress as I write it. But as you can see, things are winding down.**


	45. Why Does it Have to Be This Way?

**I know it's been a while. And I'm so so so so sorry for it.**

**BUT that's ok. Because the new chapter has arrived! Dum dum dum!**

**WARNING! IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY THIS VALENTINES DAY, then stop here. Come back tomorrow. I'm serious.**

**Happy Valentines Day btw. **

**Harry Potter is not mine.  
Review. **

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"I'm his girlfriend Lily," sighed Jodie, pulling her knees up to her chest. She closed her eyes. "And sometimes, it feels as if we're on opposite sides of the world."

Beth popped a piece of chocolate in her mouth, savouring the taste before speaking. "What do you mean?"

"It was better when we were friends. At least then, he would speak to me."

"He's not speaking to you?"

"No, he speaks to me," clarified Jodie. Beth cast her a puzzled look. "Oh, I don't know," she threw her hands up in the air. "It's like…we talk. But…we don't."

She buried her head in her hands. "I'm not making any sense am I?" came the muffled question.

"Not really," shrugged Beth, looking at her friend concernedly.

"It's like he won't trust me." She looked up, staring directly at the girl whose gaze was enraptured by the darkness of the outside night. "Sometimes," she began shakily, "sometimes it's like he trusts you, Lily, more than me."

Lily ripped her eyes away from the white moon, glowing eerily in the blanket of the night. "He doesn't…" she trailed of. _He doesn't like me anymore. _

"I know," insisted Jodie. "I know. I know. He cares about me."

"He loves you," stated Lily simply. "He loves you," she repeated. "Maybe he just doesn't know how to show it."

Jodie slouched further, sadness in her posture, her countenance. "I've barely seen him for two days. Only at dinners and lunches. And he's barely even spoken during those times. I don't know what to think."

"Believe me," Lily said, hearing a distant mournful howl from outside, "he loves you."

"Then why won't he talk to me?" she cried, briefly allowing her eyes to flutter closed. "I think-I think that I love him guys. I, the person who's not supposed to _love _anyone, love him."

Lily smiled sadly. Beth just smiled.

"Ironic isn't it?"

"No, not really," said Beth lightly.

"But it is. It's all ironic. Lily and James. You and Sirius. Opposites in every way. And me. I've fallen for the smart, caring guy who I'll never be able to compare to."

"Jo—"

"I'm so scared Lily. I—love him for god's sake. What's wrong with me?"

Lily almost laughed. "Trust me, that's what I thought with James at first too. It'll go away."

Jodie stared. "It's been months," she whispered hoarsely. "Months."

"And?" asked Beth quietly, fearing the answer.

"This feeling. This fear. It should be gone."

Silence ensued.

"Why does it feel so wrong to love him? Why does it feel so wrong?"

Another heart-wrenching howl was her only reply. Jodie thought that the sound seemed to be in agreement with her. And it was.

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"Remus!" gasped Jodie, bleary eyed and tired from the previous night. But that was nothing compared to his condition.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" she screamed at the other three Marauders. It seemed Peter was now on speaking terms with James, and thus, allowed to be with the group.

James bit into his cheek. He didn't very well like lying, but there was no other way. "I'm sorry," he said solemnly. "It was a prank gone wrong." It was a plausible reason.

Lily stood behind Jodie, a comforting hand on her shoulder. She felt her stomach wrench at the beaten sight in front of her. The three girls seemed green in the face.

Sirius couldn't blame them. He, himself, in all the full moons he had faced with Remus, he had never seen his friend so injured. Last night, he had been uncontrollable.

It took all of their might to keep up with his intense running through the forest. He wouldn't stop when the branches scratched him, when the other beasts attacked him, when he stumbled onto the ground. He was savage.

"A prank," yelled Jodie, nearly in a hysterical condition. "A PRANK."

Sirius grimaced, noting the disappointment in Beth's eyes. But not only that, he noted the relief. Relief that he wasn't hurt. Emotion welled up inside of him.

Remus could hear the screaming in his head. Consciousness came over him, and he forced his eyes open, the sunlight burning his eyes. Yet it didn't matter, because sunlight was his saviour—his solace.

"Jodie," he rasped out. He felt a drop of tears fall onto his face.

"Oh god, are you okay?" she cried, the prank forgotten with just the sound of his broken voice.

"Don't cry," he whispered.

She nodded, wiping her tears away compliantly. He held her hand in his weak ones. How long would he be able to do this?

He looked behind her, smiling briefly at his friends. His eyes locked with Lily's, and she _knew. _She just _knew._

"Don't," she pleaded in a barely audible whisper. Both Remus and James caught it.

James looked down at her, a perplexed expression etched on his face. But Remus knew the meaning. He simply smiled, shaking his head with the briefest of movements. _No arguments, _it said. _He had decided. _His heart breaking as he smiled.

His eyes, forever taken by the girl in front of him, returned to it's kidnapper. "I'm okay," he assured. The inevitable was inching its way to him. Seconds ticked by. Time wasn't on his side.

Jodie brought her hands to either side of her head, her palms against her temple. "But you're not okay. Look at you."

Remus looked at himself. "Does this…does this….disgust you?" he asked quietly. He just had to know. It wouldn't change his decision. But he had to know.

Maybe if she said yes, it would make this easier for her.

"Remus," she whispered. "Of course not."

Remus bit his lip. Should he be relieved? Or should he be disappointed? The selfish part of him was happy.

"Can I talk to you alone?" he asked quietly, and a sense of dread washed over Jodie. _No. No._

Sirius and Peter nodded, as did Beth. Lily wasn't as easy. She kept staring at Remus in disbelief. James had to practically drag her from the room, but not once did she her eyes leave his body. _Please, _they read.

But Remus knew better than to look in Lily's eyes. Once upon a time, he had had a crush on her. He had learned to read her. He knew her.

The door finally clicked.

Remus forced himself to look at her. He didn't think it was right if he didn't, but he regretted his decision the moment he took in her pained features.

She knew what was happening. She had had enough experience. But only, usually she was the one doing what he was doing.

"Jodie," he whispered. "Jo."

"Don't," she cried, "please. I need you."

_She needs me. _Those words struck him like no others. She needed him. God, he needed her. But no, she didn't need him.

"I'm sorry Jo."

"I love—" she cried, her grip tightening.

"NO!" he shouted, cutting her off. "No!"

The tears finally spilled.

"No?" she questioned, her voice weak and fragile like a child's.

"Don't love me Jodie." He looked away, her pain, reflecting his own, too much to bear. "I'm not someone you should love."

"No," she muttered. "No. No. NO!" she cried, convince herself. "What're you going on about?" She shut her eyes, trying to shield herself. Her body felt numb as realization dawned on her. Remus watched.

"Do you not love me?" she breathed. "You don't, that's it right?"

"No," sighed Remus. It would have been easier to say yes. That would have been the end. But he couldn't bear to leave her thinking that. "I love _you _Jodie. Believe me. Just…you can't love _me."_ He knew he wasn't making much sense to her. But to him, it was perfectly clear.

He was a beast. She was his angel. But angels—they belong in heaven. And he couldn't give her that. He couldn't give her anything.

"What the hell Remus?" she yelled, her tearstained face reddening. "You love me. You love me but I can't love you?" Her tone was demanding an explanation.

He couldn't give her one.

"It's just how it's supposed to be."

"Is it because of the war? Because of you know who? Because you're scared you'll have to leave me in safety? I won't you know. I won't stay and wait." She tried to reason with him.

"I know," he whispered. That was one of the reasons he loved her. One of the many, he had grown to learn. He shouldn't have gotten attached. "That's not why. I'm sorry."

The grandfather clock in the furthermost corner chimed. An hour had gone by since Remus' arrival back at the castle.

Suddenly, Jodie laughed bitterly. This caused Remus to finally return his gaze to her. Her beautiful face. Her flawless body. Her. Just her.

"That's _just _like you Remus. Never telling me why. Never giving me a reason."

He knew it was true.

"You keep every damn thing to yourself. You have all these secrets. Secrets from me." She said the last part softly—in resignation.

He didn't have the courage to speak. He feared if he did, he would beg to erase everything he had just said. And he knew that couldn't happen.

"So…" she said after a while, "this is it." She was calmer now. But no less pained.

"Yeah," he croaked. His eyes finally watered.

"Was it me Remus? Don't be afraid to tell me," she said, "I mean, how much more could this hurt? Just tell me. Was it me?"

"You were everything I could have wanted," he admitted truthfully, "You were more than I could have wanted."

"But you're so good at everything, and I'm just…me," replied Jodie, her back towards him. She didn't want to see him anymore, but she needed to know _why? _

"You…were—are—perfect in every way Jodie. Don't you ever believe otherwise," he said gently, watching her back, tears fully pouring from his eyes.

"You were everything I wanted Remus. I just want you to know that." Remus watched her shake, her chest heave uncontrollable, gasping for air. "You were the opposite of me. But I didn't care—because…" she sobbed again, "because I love you. Whether you want to hear it or not, whether you believe it or not. I love you."

She waited for his response.

Remus questioned what he was doing for the thousandth time since they had begun talking this morning.

Now more than ever, he despised the wolf that had bitten him. If he had the chance, he would kill him. He wouldn't think twice about it. Because that person, that beast, had ruined him and his life. Consequentially, Jodie's too.

"Don't ever, _ever, _doubt that I loved you Jodie," his lips quivered, and Jodie finally turned to stare at him, eyes in wonder.

She seemed to sense that there was no use asking him why once again. Like so many other times, he wouldn't tell her. He was protecting her, she knew, but from what?

And for the first time, she considered, maybe it was from himself.

"So, this is it?" she asked once again. She prayed he'd say no, but she already knew his answer. "After this," she urged, "there's no going back. I won't go back."

_Good, _thought Remus, because he didn't think he would be strong enough if Jodie gave him another chance. He was weak around her.

He nodded slowly, but it seemed to last much longer than just slowly. A fraction of a second, to the both of them, seemed like eternity.

This was it.

Jodie sobbed.

Remus tried not to sob.

Two heartbroken souls.

Jodie finally made a move to leave. It was too much for her. Remus didn't look. It was painful. It represented too much. She was walking out of his life. He had made her do that.

But before she left, she had one last question.

"If you had another chance. If whatever was holding you back wasn't there, what would you have chosen?" Her voice was torn and unsure.

"You," he answered in a heartbeat. His heart was in his throat.

She nodded sadly. "Yeah, I would choose you too. Sad isn't it?" She shrugged.

She looked at him. "You're not going to die are you?" She attempted a smile.

"The way I'm going, it's likely. But no, it's not in my plans."

With that, Jodie walked away.

"I love you Remus," she whispered, the draft in the castle wailing the words tauntingly in his ears.

"I love you too. I always will."

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**So, it made me cry writing this. I tried to make it emotional. Maybe you cried too? That's my goal, even though that sounds mean. **

**I tried.**

**Secretly, when I said happy valentines day before, I was lying, because I hate this day really. But that's OK.**

**REVIEW. REVIEW. REVIEW. **

**Sorry to those who wanted them together. But that would have been just too much of a perfect ending. 2 more to go!**


	46. Until The Day I Die

**Okay, so again, I will probably be starting a new story after this one is done. I'm just repeating this because someone asked in a review. I'll add a preview at the very last chapter of this story. I don't know when I'll actually begin it though, because I'm thinking about editing this whole story. There are a LOT of spelling mistakes, and my first chapters weren't the best. If I have enough patience, I'll edit. If not. Then…yeah. **

**Anyways. Okay, so here goes!**

**Reviews are loved. And loved. And loved.**

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Lily felt her eyelids drop another notch, the heaviness increasing tenfold as she listened to the melodious noises of the clock on the wall.

_Tick. Tock._

How long had it been?

_Tick. Tock._

The common room was eerily empty, unusual for a Sunday afternoon. The maroon red and gold décor shimmered in the strong afternoon sun. Lily rubbed her eyes tiredly, the combination of the silence and the warmth of the sun's rays putting her to sleep.

After she had been forcibly removed from the hospital wing by James, she had found her way back to the Gryffindor common room, seating herself in one of the many comfortable couches.

Beth had gone to rave at Sirius for allowing Remus to be hurt—but Lily knew better. She had simply told James to leave her alone, and even though Lily's heart yearned to be with him, she knew somebody would need her more.

But, with a quick glance at the clock, maybe she was wrong. Maybe it had all worked out for the better. Maybe Remus had changed his…

The portrait entrance swung open, and in stumbled a red-eyed Jodie.

Maybe that was too much to ask.

Lily flew up from her seat, the sleep in her eyes falling away. She hurried over to her friend, immediately engulfing her in a hug. No words were spoken. No words needed to be spoken.

She wrapped her arms around Jodie's shoulders, allowing her friend's tears to soak her shirt. Gently, she led the crying girl to a chair, easing her down. Her sobs were violent, even as she tried to suppress them.

"Shhh," whispered Lily, tightening her grip. Faintly in the background, Lily heard Beth run in as well.

The next thing she knew, another pair of arms were wrapped around her friends heaving figure.

"He—" Jodie choked out, before collapsing into another fit of sobs. "It's over."

Beth gasped harshly. Lily let out the breath she was holding, the hope flooding out of her heart rapidly.

"It-It's over," Jodie repeated, looking between her friends through her blurry vision. "It really is."

"It's going to be alright," soothed Lily, a frown forming on her delicate lips. "It's going to be alright."

"Yeah Jodie, it'll be alright," added Beth.

And to Jodie, it didn't matter how they knew. It only mattered that her best friends were here for her.

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Warm weather slowly began to melt away the icy winter that had plagued Hogwarts for over three months. Spring began to push its way in, bringing the rain and the flowers. Days grew longer, and nights grew shorter. The winter gloom faded away.

With this time, Jodie eventually came to realize that Lily was wrong. It wasn't going to be alright. It wasn't going to _ever _be like it used to.

She looked over at the four boys, almost regretfully. _But maybe that was okay. _

At about the same time, Remus looked over as well. When their eyes locked, each sent one another a tentative ghost of a sad smile.

No, things would never be the same. Because Jodie Williams had lost her heart.

She had heeded Remus' words. And had he not said them, she would have guessed it at some level. Remus _did _love her. He did. And she wouldn't ever doubt that.

It hurt her, yes. But one day, she prayed, he would come to his senses. In the meantime, she would wait. She would smile. She would laugh. And all the while, she would wait.

And perhaps she would have to wait until her hair turned gray. She didn't doubt it. Perhaps she would have to wait until her dying day. And perhaps maybe even the next lifetime.

But if anyone knew Jodie Williams, they would know that she was the damn most stubborn girl you could ever meet. She would wait.

"Jodie!" shrieked Lily, as she bounded up to her friend. Lily grabbed her hands, skipping around Jodie in a circle while pulling. "Jodie!"

She laughed, spinning around. Maybe not as happily as she once did, but she would never let her laugh die. "What!" she returned enthusiastically.

"It's over, it's over. It's over!" chanted Lily.

James came up running behind Lily, slightly short of breath. He grabbed his girlfriend by the waist, attempting to keep her still. "Never—knew—she—had it in—her," he let out, gasping for air between words. He breathed out loudly. "I think she's gone a little bit…off the edge," he laughed, watching as Lily struggled to continuing jumping.

"I have not!" she yelled back.

"If you say so."

"Potter you git!"

"Aw Lilyflower," he teased.

She glared. "Let me go James Potter!"

"Not in a lifetime Lily. I'm never letting you go," he laughed, watching as her pout transformed magically into a smile.

Jodie watched from the sidelines, without an ounce of jealously beneath her skin. She could not tell you why.

James suddenly frowned, crinkling his forehead. "Why are you smiling like that?" he asked Lily suspiciously. Her grin only grew.

She leaned up, kissed him hard on the mouth. And then, she abruptly turned around, taking advantage of his lessened grip, and skipped away. "Hey! Beth! Beth!"

Jodie laughed as her friend made her way over to Beth, repeating the earlier motion while chanting in a sing-song voice. James at first looked purely confused, before he too broke out in laughter. "I'm going to marry her one day," he told Jodie, nodding over at the red headed girl.

"You better."

And for a moment, both listened to Lily's voice singing, "It's over, it's over."

She was talking about the N.E.W.T.s that had just been completed that morning. They had cast a sort of tension over all the seventh year students, fearful of their impending doom, but now that it was over, joyous laughter was heard throughout the school.

She was actually thankful to have had them. It had been a way of releasing her emotions over the past month. She had focused hard on studying, and sometimes—however rarely—it made her forget. It had been a temporary reprieve.

But in another way, Jodie was sad that the N.E.W.T.s had been completed. It marked the end of a chapter. For any graduating year of Hogwarts, it marked an end. After this, soon would come graduation. And then after that…

Jodie shuddered at the notion.

And for the briefest of moments, she wondered who would really care how great you scored on a test when you were in the midst of a war. But she pushed that thought away.

"You think you did okay?" asked a husky voice behind her. It was so familiar. She wanted to reach out and touch him. Instead, she clasped her hands in front of her. She smiled sadly and turned.

"Yeah," she said softly. "And you?"

He paused, looking her over. "Yeah, me too."

And then in a slow motion, as if it hurt him as much as it hurt her, he turned away. Remus breathed in and out slowly, before striding back to the castle.

Jodie watched, her blonde hair blowing loosely in the breeze as her love walked away.

"How're you holding up?" asked Sirius, suddenly appearing beside her.

She glanced over inquisitively, noting that Sirius was no longer laughing. Then looked back at the retreating figure. "The only way I can."

Sirius put his arm around her and Jodie looked up in surprise. Her eyes traveled to Beth, who nodded as if to reassure Jodie that she didn't mind. Relieved, she leant into the friendly embrace.

"It's not that bad really," admitted Jodie quietly.

He made no comment.

"Really."

"It is for him," he couldn't help but say.

This was news to her. She couldn't help it. Her curiosity got the better of her.

"Do you know why—" But one look on Sirius' hard face and she knew, just knew, that nobody would tell her. She sighed, and let the question hang half finished in the air.

In the background, the birds chirped and the crickets sang. It was quite the contrast.

"He didn't mean to…" Sirius began.

"I know," put Jodie simply. Sirius gave her a disbelieving look. "Honestly," she insisted.

"It's not his fault," he added quietly, his heart hurting for his friend.

"I don't blame him. I just wish I knew why." She shook her head.

"I—He-We—"

"I know. I don't want to hear it," she held up her hand. She shrugged. "Forget about it okay?" Then she smiled, turned, and walked the opposite direction.

She would smile. She would laugh. And all the while, she would wait.

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**I know. I know. I usually write longer chapters than this. But I really just wanted some closure between Jodie and Remus.**

**Still, one chapter to go. It MIGHT stretch to two, depending on if I can finish in one. **

**R-E-V-I-E-W!**


	47. Graduation: Come What May

**Harry Potter is not mine. Sadly neither is James Potter, or Draco Malfoy. I am, in fact, not in love with a fictional character.**

**Believe me!**

**LOL.**

**Anyways, I wanted to let you all know that I truly weighed whether Jodie should find out or not. But as I explained in this chapter, if she knew, then it would make sense that they would get back together, but Remus is really strong against not going with a girl(even with Tonks in the book) because he feels like he doesn't deserve it, and I wanted to keep it that way. To let you know, Jodie isn't crying her life away type. She's strong. :) Btw, I hope I got the year right.**

**Here goes, Review(as per usual. I love you guys)**

**Special thanks to ****EVERY SINGLE**** person who reviewed, especially those who stuck through with this story all the way! If I could, every single would be underlined about 10 times, but one will have to do.**

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It was one of those days. One of those perfect days, where the sun was bright but not too bright, warm but not hot. There was a light, but not strong breeze, circulating the fresh clean afternoon air. It was one of those days which made you forget about the chilling winter that had gone by not long ago and the scorching summer that was to come.

Every single person, dressed in their most beautiful robes, stood, basking in the outdoor sun—glowing in pride and happiness.

The looming castle beside the group cast a cool shadow over them—a relief from the sun, but Lily opted to stay out of the darkness. She put her hand over her eyes and looked up, squinting as she did.

Hogwarts stood in her view, aristocratically with its brown body upright and proud. Lily felt a wave of nostalgia run through her, as a train of memories within this very castle sped through her mind. Seven years. Seven long, torturous at times, fun at others, years. This had been her home since she had been eleven. And now she was eighteen.

She felt a hand slip around her waist from behind, pulling her against the owner's strong firm body.

She would recognize his touch if she were deaf and blind. She could _feel _it was him. The moment they touched, a tingle would travel all over her body, from the top of her head to the tip of her toes. She would never get tired of that feeling. Of him.

"James," she murmured, her head still tilted upwards, regarding the endless tower above them. "Remember up there?" she asked.

She felt him take one hand off her stomach. She supposed it was so that he too could look up while blocking out the strong sun.

"Mmm." He made a sound after a while. "How could I ever forget? The clock tower."

Lily closed her eyes as he planted a soft kiss on her cheek. And then her ear. She giggled. And then her jaw. She turned her head slightly to give him better access.

"I think," she began, but lost her voice as he kissed her neck teasingly. She moaned. He stopped, smirking. Laughingly, she shook her head. "I think, that I loved you, even then. I just didn't know it."

"Did you really?" he questioned. Apparently, he didn't believe her. And his next sentence proved it. "I rather thought you hated me."

"I didn't!"

"What with the kiss and all," he continued, laughing as Lily pouted. "Aw, don't pout," he pleaded, his puppy dog eyes coming out. Lily couldn't ever resist them, and he knew it. He knew everything about her. And Lily wanted to know everything about him. One day, she swore, she would.

She paused to reminisce. "You don't know how upset I was that night James," she admitted. "When you stepped out of the shadows, and all you had to say was _'Merry Christmas' _"

He brought his other hand back down to rest around her waist, pulling her in. "I didn't know," he whispered in her ear.

"I know," she nodded. "I was just so devastated. I thought you'd gotten over me. When I finally began wanting you, you had stopped wanting me."

"I could never stop wanting you Lils."

"But you did, at one point. You did."

"When have I ever?" he questioned. Then bit his lip. "The thing with Lynne…it was stupid. I had wanted to get you jealous…"

"Because of the bet," Lily finished for him, shrugging.

"I thought we were over that."

"We are."

"No, apparently we're not. Lily, listen to me."

Lily turned in his arms, kissing him fully on the mouth. "We are James. And beside," she said lightly, jokingly, "if we aren't, we have a lifetime to fix that don't we? You wont leave me will you?" She smiled, as did he.

"Never. Never Lily Potter nee Evans."

"Mmm" Lily mumbled, thoroughly lost in his brilliant eyes. Suddenly, she realized that they weren't twinkling with the same mirth he had when he was joking. "Wait what?" she shrieked, stepping back.

"I don't know," he shrugged sheepishly.

"Wait…" she said slowly, "so are you asking or not?!"

He laughed and shrugged, stepping back slightly as well.

"POTTER, YOU TELL ME THIS INSTANT!"

"You're going to have to stop using that line soon Lily."

Lily rose her brow. "And why's that?"

"Well, obviously because you're going to marry me."

"And what makes you think, so arrogantly I might add, that I'd say yes?"

"Because I know you."

Lily tapped her foot impatiently.

"God woman, okay okay!" He got on one knee, and pulled out a black velvet box. "So?" he asked hopefully, his confidence rushing out of him in one swift gust.

"You haven't asked!" Lily pouted.

"But you know what I'm going to ask anyways!"

"But it's not traditional!" argued Lily.

"Screw tradition," James laughed. "Man, Lily, you're ruining my perfectly planned plan." He opened the box, revealing a simple silver band with a brilliantly shining single diamond. Simple and elegant.

"Yes," said Lily simply, smiling despite herself. Suddenly, she threw herself into his open arms, both tumbling onto the ground by the force of the action. "A thousand times yes. Yes. Yes. Yes."

And any witnesses to this moment, which were many, could easily tell you how hopelessly in love these two were with each other. Lovestruck fools, one could say. But what was so bad about that?

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"I don't want this to end," Beth said quietly, as she stared at the Hogwart's ground sadly. She held on tightly to Sirius' hand. "I just don't."

"Neither do I," he admitted gruffly, refusing to tear up. This place had been his home. The only place he could truly call home.

"Is it really…"

"Yes."

Beth sighed. Sirius used his thumb to rub in a circular motion against the skin on her hand. "So much has happened this year."

"Yeah," he agreed.

"Friends," she began her list. "I made new friends."

"Enemies for me," laughed Sirius. Beth ignored him.

"Death eaters," she said next, and an unwanted memory flashed within her mind. But she didn't shudder. She embraced it because it was one of the best days of her young life. With that memory came her next point. "Love."

"What?"

"You changed," she pointed out. "Sirius Black, you changed."

"I learned to love." No other words could put it more clearly. It was all he needed. It was enough for the both of them. Because that sentence, it contained everything.

"If that's you're way of saying you love me Black, then I love you too."

"I honestly prefer showing you more than telling you," he attempted to joke. The two shared a reserved laugh.

"All joking aside though Beth, I do love you. And I do want to be with you. Forever if I could."

Beth turned towards him, burying herself in him. "Promise me we'll have forever."

"I-I…" Sirius stuttered. He didn't want to make promises he couldn't control.

"Please," pleaded Beth, looking up at him sadly. "I just want to hear it."

"I promise."

She nodded, and he rested his chin on her head. For a moment, they both just stood there, serenely and peacefully.

Finally, Beth spoke. "So this is the end huh?"

"No, because what we have," he pointed between the two of them. "It'll never end."

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Jodie walked through the empty halls. She didn't want to be outside. Perhaps that was wrong. She would love to be outside, but she was all too aware of the amounts of couples that would be out there, sharing their last minutes. She didn't belong there.

She walked close to the walls, trailing her fingers along it. She futilely tried to memorize ever nook and corner, every groove and feel of the castle.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the building, Remus sat with his back against the wall, berating himself. Why? Because all he could think about was _her. _Jodie. He was never supposed to fall in love. It was his punishment. He had thought himself immune. He had tried. Tried and failed.

Oh, how badly he wanted to tell her. He wanted to tell her his reasons. He wanted…to tell her the truth.

There was no doubt that she would understand. Lily did. Jodie would too.

But he was afraid. Remus was afraid that if she did understand and accept him, like she would, she would expect them to be together again. And he couldn't have that. Because no matter how much others could pretend they understood, they couldn't.

And Remus knew better. Jodie deserved everything. And he? He was nothing.

He opened his eyes, preparing to be blinded by the window opposite him. Yet as he did, no light burned his eyes. He saw a pair of shoes, and as his eyes finally reached the person's face, he found Jodie, glowing in the light in front of him.

"Hi," she said.

He hesitated. "Hi."

She took a deep breath. "Remus—" she began.

"No," he said firmly. He could tell what she wanted to say. She wanted to ask about them. She wanted him to reconsider. She wanted to talk about it. She wanted to do exactly what he wanted to avoid.

Her voice cracked. "I don't care Remus!" she yelled forcefully. "Just hear me out," she continued, a little gentler, but still as forceful.

He gave her a brief, reluctant nod.

He was fully prepared for a long speech, and interrogation, anything but the one sentence she had to say.

"I'll wait for you."

And with that, she turned and strode away, the sunlight still upon her as if she were floating away, out of his reach. That was _her. _Jodie. His Jodie. His angel in the darkness.

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Lily stood behind the podium, her keen eyes sweeping over the sea of students and parents. "Graduation," she began, her eyes catching James' as they shared a secret smile. She lifted her hand, newly adorned with another piece of jewelry, so that the stone would shine in the sun.

"It's a word all of us have been striving towards for all our seven years at this wonderful school, our home, Hogwarts. Seven years here and I have not regretted a single day of it. Hogwarts has held everything that is near and dear to us. Look around this room; take in the people, the surroundings, and the faces. That," she paused, "is what Hogwarts meant for us."

"No," Lily corrected, "_means _for us. Because no matter what, Hogwarts, and our time here, will forever live in our hearts. It will never be the past. At least for me, because I will continue to live every one of my moments here again and again. There are so many of these types of moments, unforgettable moments, for all of us. We have all found love, whether it be in friends," Lily looked at James, "or soulmates. We have found friendships and guidance. We have found a family."  
"I know that in all of our hearts, there is fear, and uncertainty. We all are wondering, what of the future? Today, just for one day, forget about the world that is before you. The war and all of it. Because nothing should ruin this day for us. Take pride in what we have accomplished, as a group, as a family."

"Now, the day dawns on us, as finally, graduation has come. We came here as children, innocent and foolish. We leave as adults—more educated, more experienced and wiser than before. This is our day, and so live our day to the fullest. My advice to you all: live the rest of your lives to the fullest—come what may."

"May I present to you, the graduating students of 1977! We made it!"

**The end.**

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**I hope that was okay? I needed to really close off all loose ends, and I tried to do that.**

**So, we have two choices. I plan to write an epilogue, but it may be a little sad of an epilogue. This chapter will be the happy ending. If I add another, it will be after October 31****st**

**It's really up to all you people reading this story. It's IN YOUR HANDS! I'll get a vote.**

**Epilogue? (will be sad, but personally, I think it's a better closure)**

**Or not? (leaves the story ending happily ever afterish)**

**REVIEW. I will give this a week at most. 5 days at least.**

**REVIEW.**


	48. Epilogue: Friends Forever

**So, I did a tally. (Only included if you explicitly said epilogue. Or no. cause some I wasn't sure of)**

**Epilogue-8**

**No epilogue-5**

**As a result, I present you with the EPILOGUE. It's not long at all.**

**BUT FOR THOSE WHO WANT TO LEAVE IT AT THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER, by all means. It's like…a tragic end. In some ways, you could call it….peaceful. I wouldn't call it happy though, cause happy for me would outline James and Lily living on forever. But of course, we can't have that.**

**Anyways, here it is. (Btw, the plot summary for my next planned story is at the bottom.)**

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**Epilogue**

"Of us four, only two are left. The Marauders—friends forever. If only that could be, James, you would still be here."

Remus fingered the flowers in his hand. Five in total.

He squinted as the blazing sun pierced his eyes, at the same time, holding back a threatening tear.

"I'm sorry."

The breeze caressed him, as if his best friend was there leaning against him. It made it hurt even more. How could he be alive, when his friends were dead?

"I promised you. I promised you and Lily to protect Harry, and I couldn't. I f-failed Prongs. I've been failing all of you for so long, and I'll never forgive myself for it."

"I failed you and Lily. I should have noticed the change in Peter. I should have stopped him! Every night, I dream of what could be. What would have happened if I had stopped Peter. You would be alive James! And Lily! Harry would have a family. And I? I would have my best friends back."

"I failed Harry too. He's so young and brave. Every day, he reminds me of you and Lily. He truly is your son—you would have been proud. But he's faced so much, I don't know how to help him anymore. He's lost so much…" Remus trailed off, glancing at the grave on the other side of James'.

"Sirius," he acknowledged. "I failed you too."

_"He can't come back, Harry. He can't com back, because he's d—"_

The memory shook Remus. "Dead," he finished his sentence. "I told Harry. I had to tell the boy that his beloved godfather—his only remaining family—was dead. _Dead! _I had to say those words, when I didn't want to believe them myself."

"Sirius…why did you go? How could you leave us behind?! Selfish bastard!" raged Remus all of a sudden. "He needs you. Harry needs you!"

"I need you, my friend," he whispered, his anger dying as quickly as it came.

"But you're where you want to be now aren't you?"

Remus choked out a laugh. "Always was the selfish bastard. Enjoying it up there with Beth aren't you?" Remus shook his head sadly. "You never told anybody, Padfoot, but I knew. I always knew."

"If it hadn't been for Harry, you would have left with her during the first war."

"She wouldn't have wanted that though, you know. But I'm sure she's happy nonetheless."

"I promise you, Beth, Sirius, Lily, James, I'll protect them—all of them—even if it costs me my life."

A tear slipped down his rugged cheek, scarred from the previous night's battle as he regarded the very last stone. It had been a year since he had last visited this place. But in his mind, the memories of them all were fresh.

"I regret so much in my life. But the only thing I don't regret, is leaving you Jodie," he addressed.

"You were my first love. And I'll always love you. But, it couldn't have been."

He stepped forward, and traced his fingers along the engraved words. _Jodie Williams. _He carefully brushed away the fallen leaves, and tore apart the moss growing on the gravestone. She would have liked it clean, for the world to see.

_Died in battle. _

"You waited. But I'm not sorry to have kept you waiting. Because you had been happy. That was the one thing that I could give to you."

He looked away, gulping down a sob. "And I did."

Overwhelmed, Remus stumbled backward on the soft grass, looking around the lines and lines of the dead men and women.

He would avenge their deaths. His friend's deaths. He would atone his failures. He wouldn't rest until he did.

Around him, the crickets sung their songs, and the wind howled in pity, bringing soft whistles in his ear. Had he been imagining it, or did it sound like laughter? The mixed laughter of Sirius, James, Lily, Beth, and Jodie.

And if it was laughter, when would he join in?

Carefully, he took one stem of flower, and placed it in front of each grave.

"As per tradition," he murmured. "White tulips. Your favourite Lily."

But one red rose stood out out of the five.

"And your favourite, Jodie."

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**8 Years Later**

Harry pushed open the kissing gate at the entrance of the graveyard, ignoring its squeaking protest and walked along the path.

Finally, he stopped in front of a row of graves, two in particular.

"Dad." He spoke quietly. "Was it scary becoming a father?" He asked, his voice resembling a frightened child's. "Because—I-I don't know how to say this, but you're going to be a grandfather dad."

He smiled, despite his fears. "Mom, do you think it's horrid to name the boy James? I'm afraid my father's ego will inflate another notch. That would drive you insane wouldn't it?"

"I suppose you're happy up there though. James Potter. How does that sound?"

Harry imagined his father and mother's glowing faces.

"Oh and Remus, Tonks…and you too Jodie, don't you worry about Teddy. He's a great boy. Top marks at school just like his father..." He trailed off, lost in the moment.

He walked along the tombstones, counting each one as his hand skimmed the top of each.

Eight now.

He paused at the last one, giving the person a small nod of acknowledgement.

It read: _Peter Pettigrew. _

Harry could never forgive the man—but he would not be alive had it been not for this man.

And with that, Harry retraced his steps down the path, and out the gate. And as he looked back one last time, he smiled.

Eight graves.

Eight men and women.

Eight white tulips.

After nearly twenty four years of separations, they were together as a group once again. Friends forever. Friends until the end.

The winds roared and the crickets sung, full of life and happiness, signing songs of laughter and love.

**The VERY end. For sure.**

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**I tried to make it happier. It wasn't that sad really. I imagined it longer. But I thought it was okay as it was**

**-NEW STORY-**

**Brief Description:**

**This will be a DRAMIONE(Draco/Hermione) story, because I want to try different characters. I know that some people do now like this couple, so I'm sorry to disappoint. **

**Anyways, yes, a Draco/Hermione story that is slightly AU. I will NOT change JK Rowling's books much, although I will disregard the epilogue. I may or may not have them start off as acquaintances though, and not enemies. The only AU thing for sure at this moment will be Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy.**

**IT IS LOOSELY BASED ON THE MOVIE I ONCE WATCHED THE BEGINNING OF. Can't remember the name. But I'll find it later to give it credit I guess. If you know the name of the movie, I would be forever grateful.**

**This will be under romance/drama/humor/general type.**

**PLOT SUMMARY:**

**Basically, the two of them are out of school now. Young adults if you may. Draco has a girlfriend(**name yet undertermined) **that he cannot take to his parents, and so he hires Hermione **(who is in need of money, for a good reason which I have yet to determine as well. LOL). **Hermione's job, for 10 000 galleons, is to be his temporary girlfriend for a month, but she will only get the money if she can make his dad so mad he will say "you can marry anybody but her".**

**I'm not 100 sure whether to go for this story. I'm like..80. So, do you guys think this will be good. Even if you're not so much of a Dramione shipper, you can still check out the plot yeah?**

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If this story passes through, I will upload the plot summary (this thing) as a preview, along with the first chapter, during march break. Please check it out if it happens. It would mean a lot to me. I hope to continue to improve my writing. As you could probably tell, I think there is a great difference from the beginning of this story to the end. As one reviewer kindly pointed out, this story at the beginning _was _a little shaky, and I totally agree. I hope I was able to improve on that.

And all you that put me/this story on favourites or alerts? It's an honour.

Thanks again to all the reviewers. It's been a great time doing this. I can hardly believe I started this FOUR MONTHS AGO. Time flies when it's fun.

I must sound boring, ranting like this. But thank you all! I would list EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU, but knowing me, I'd probably leave someone out, and then I'd die feeling horrible.

LOL ok, so that's it that's it. I'm done!

Until next time then!(: You've made me a really happy girl.


	49. AN: Companion Fic Up!

**Hello! I am back!**

**And I just wanted to say, I wrote a short companion oneshot fic that goes a little further on the relationship of Jodie and Remus!**

**It's called: Always Have Tonight**

**Summary: Jodie finds out about Remus being a werewolf. They still don't get together at the end(you would already know that cause of the epilogue previous though)**

**It fits it right between the ending and the epilogue, sometime during the war. :)**

**So to catch that, check out my profile. **

**I would love it if you read it, and tell me what you think!**

**Thanks!**


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